We Are Filthy, Born From Mud - Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Yes, She is Deceiving Herself. Zong Liangu’s Way Out

Zong Liangu slowly made her way up the stairs and pushed open the heavy door to the rooftop.

Bright sunlight illuminated her.

From the time she arrived in this world, including those minor roles as an extra, she had filmed quite a few scenes. Yet, for some reason, she still maintained a sense of novelty toward filming; every shoot was enough to get her excited.

She looked around. The director was frowning, reviewing the monitor over and over, occasionally standing up to communicate with the cinematographer while gesturing continuously.

Standing beside the director was a familiar face: Ge Ya.

A smile appeared on Zong Liangu’s face. Using the reflection in the glass, she carefully checked her expression. Once she confirmed everything was correct, she stepped forward.

“Xiao Zong, you adjusted your state that quickly?” Wan Chunming was somewhat surprised to see Zong Liangu.

Zong Liangu nodded, offering a determined smile: “My state is back. There won’t be any problems this time.”

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it.”

Zong Liangu looked contemptuously at the platform in front of her; such a height was truly nothing to her. In her past operations, the situations she faced were far more difficult than this.

How wonderful it would have been if I were Zong Yougu from the start. How wonderful it would be if Zong Yougu just disappeared.

She was startled by her own thought. She had clearly dismissed this notion before, and besides, she had no way to kill Zong Yougu. She shook her head vigorously, tossing the inappropriate thought aside.

The task at hand was to work with Zong Yougu to play Yu Yulai well.

“Three, two, one—Action!”

Zong Liangu took a deep breath. She did not hesitate, her brow furrowing slightly. Her toes lightly tapped the wall; her hands didn’t even need much force as her entire body leaped upward. Soaring in mid-air, her tied-up hair danced in the wind.

She had read the script; at this moment, Yu Yulai probably wouldn’t feel much fear. Her heart should be filled with smoothness and relief. Yu Yulai’s leap wasn’t just to get out; she was also embracing the things she had feared in the past.

Thus, a perfectly measured smile appeared on Zong Liangu’s face.

In those few seconds of being airborne, a question suddenly surfaced in her mind.

What would I be afraid of?

As an assassin, Zong Liangu seemed never to have felt fear. Even when an assassination failed and she was about to be exposed, she never felt afraid; most of the time, she just felt a bit annoyed. Earlier, staying in the orphanage, she was forced to accept many partings and face many cruel facts. Hunger, separation, insults, and low self-esteem constantly circled her young heart, forming a natural shield that made her immune to fear from childhood.

But it is impossible for a person to have nothing they fear. What would she be afraid of?

Zong Liangu didn’t know.

The flight ended, and Zong Liangu began to descend. Because she had jumped so high, she didn’t land entirely on the mat. Her arm scraped against the rough concrete floor, and her elbow was slightly grazed, but she was completely oblivious to it.

“Cut—”

Zong Liangu only realized she was injured after the fact; the tiny sting made her frown slightly.

Ge Ya spoke to the director excitedly: “See, I told you, didn’t I? She can do better.”

Wan Chunming was visibly satisfied. She took off her headphones, pulled a band-aid from her pocket, and applied it to Zong Liangu’s wound.

“Thank you,” Zong Liangu said gracefully.

She stood behind the director. The monitor was playing back several clips. It showed both Zong Yougu and Zong Liangu. Although Zong Yougu had tried her best, in Zong Liangu’s eyes, Yougu’s movements were so clumsy and laughable.

Zong Yougu had been living in comfort for too long. Was she, Zong Liangu, really going to be tightly bound to Zong Yougu for the rest of her life?

Zong Liangu pursed her lips, but otherwise, there was no sign of abnormality on the surface.

The director stood up and began directing the crew to wrap up, then took her phone, planning to hold a brief meeting with the cinematographer. As Wan Chunming left, only Ge Ya remained beside Zong Liangu.

Ge Ya took two steps forward. The excitement on her face gradually faded as she stared intently at Zong Liangu. Her gaze held a touch of scrutiny and a hint of suspicion.

Zong Liangu naturally sensed this gaze. Suppressing the confusion in her heart, she met the gaze, tilted her head, and continued to smile.

“Teacher Ge Ya, I’m truly happy to be working with you again.”

Ge Ya’s features relaxed, and she returned a smile, still looking at Zong Liangu. Ge Ya’s eyes held absolutely no malice, but her observation still annoyed Zong Liangu. Zong Liangu didn’t want to waste time; she patted her clothes, intending to leave.

However, before she could take a step, Ge Ya called out to her again.

Zong Liangu kept smiling, but a sense of oddness rose in her heart again. Thinking rapidly, she identified this oddness as a warning of crisis. Her past work experience had honed her sensitivity to danger; she couldn’t be wrong.

What exactly was Ge Ya trying to do?

She turned back, squinting her eyes, her cheetah-like gaze locking firmly onto Ge Ya.

“Do you remember what I told you last time?” Ge Ya asked casually.

This seemingly offhand remark rang alarm bells in Zong Liangu’s heart; a sharp siren echoed in her mind. She understood: Ge Ya was suspicious. Ge Ya suspected that the “Zong Yougu” playing Yu Yulai was not just one person.

Why?

Zong Liangu’s actions were always airtight; she couldn’t have left a flaw. It must be Zong Yougu, a spark of resentment appeared in her heart.

Zong Liangu’s smile remained as precise and perfect as ever. She said: “Of course I remember! Teacher Ge told me that you really like working with actors like me, and you also told me that if I encounter difficulties, I should come to you. It’s actually a bit embarrassing for me to say it out loud; it makes it look like I’m trying to praise myself on purpose.”

Zong Liangu feigned bashfulness and lowered her head. The moment she looked down, the smile on her face became difficult to maintain.

She wasn’t an impulsive person, nor was she one to show her emotions. But today her emotions were exceptionally stirred—Zong Yougu’s triumphant smile, Zong Yougu’s smugness in taking everything for granted.

She realized it now. Earlier, she had told Zong Yougu they should cooperate. No one knew better than herself that she was deceiving herself. She would definitely feel dissatisfied; she would definitely feel it was unfair. Because she was just such a base person.

Now, the seed of self-deception finally broke through the soil. When Zong Yougu suffered, she would feel unparalleled pleasure. When Zong Yougu was smug, she would feel pain.

Just as Zong Yougu had said, Zong Liangu felt zero identification with the name “Zong Yougu.” Even though she had accepted that Zong Yougu and she were the same person, at certain moments, she still subconsciously treated Zong Yougu as someone else.

In short, at this moment, she resented Zong Yougu.

Ge Ya’s laughter interrupted Zong Liangu’s thoughts. She said: “That’s right, your memory is so good. As I get older, my memory is always failing me.”

“However… do you remember what I said to you this morning? I feel like I said something very important, but I just can’t remember it. Could you help me recall?”

Zong Liangu’s eyes remained narrowed, but the panic in her heart had vanished because she was now absolutely certain: Ge Ya already knew she wasn’t Zong Yougu.

Thinking about it, this wasn’t strange. Ge Ya had scrambled through the acting world for decades and had achieved great success. Her powers of observation and ability to read people were bound to be exceptional.

The question was: what was her attitude?

If she poses a threat to me—

Zong Liangu’s eyes narrowed further, locking onto Ge Ya. Although Ge Ya was a public figure, Zong Liangu was still confident she could handle everything without leaving a trace.

Seeing that Zong Liangu didn’t answer for a long time, Ge Ya asked again with great patience: “Do you remember what I said to you this morning?”

If it was this morning, the one who met Ge Ya should have been Zong Yougu. Ge Ya’s helpfulness and kindness toward juniors were famous in the industry. If inferred this way, she should have encouraged Zong Yougu.

But… there was another possibility. Ge Ya hadn’t met Zong Yougu at all; she was saying this just to bait Zong Liangu.

“Of course I remember. Teacher Ge, you even praised me,” Zong Liangu replied.

She saw Ge Ya’s eyes widen slightly, a look of complex emotion flickering in them. Zong Liangu couldn’t decipher it, but she knew it definitely wasn’t malice.

“What, did I remember it wrong?” Zong Liangu said with feigned playfulness. “Actually, my memory isn’t that good either. My memories often get scrambled; it’s quite common for me to remember things wrong.”

Ge Ya didn’t laugh this time. Her voice was very soft: “Indeed, your memory is indeed as bad as mine. We clearly didn’t meet this morning.”

Zong Liangu stared straight at Ge Ya. She wasn’t panicked at all because she had done it on purpose. She didn’t want to hide in Zong Yougu’s shadow forever; perhaps Ge Ya could help her.

Zong Liangu continued in a joking tone: “Teacher Ge, as you can see, I have a bad memory. Anyone can fool me with just a few tricks. So if one day I really come to you for help, you can’t go back on your word.”

She saw Ge Ya’s expression become increasingly grave. She knew Ge Ya must have understood her meaning. Ge Ya definitely knew she wasn’t Zong Yougu.

“Alright. You truly are an excellent actor. I hope you can go further and have a smoother path. If one day you need help, I will definitely help you.”

Zong Liangu didn’t stay any longer. She bid farewell to Ge Ya, turned, and walked toward the stairwell. As she walked down the stairs step by step, the smile on her face grew smaller and smaller.

Ge Ya probably thought she and Zong Yougu were twins or something similar. It was hard for Zong Liangu to describe her current feelings. She felt the joy of potentially breaking free from Zong Yougu in the future and living in this world with an independent identity.

Yet, deep in her heart, a tiny sense of guilt actually emerged. Although Zong Yougu was lazy and self-satisfied, always making Zong Liangu go to work in her place, Zong Yougu truly liked her—loving Zong Liangu as much as she loved herself.

Zong Yougu’s smiling face appeared inappropriately before her eyes, making Zong Liangu feel restless. However, despite the guilt, Zong Liangu would absolutely not reveal today’s conversation with Ge Ya to Zong Yougu.

After all, this was her ultimate way out of necessity.