Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 56

“What did you call Us? Say it again.”

“Yishu…”

Ming Yishu’s sleeve was gripped tightly by Jiang Qionghua. She looked down and saw Jiang Qionghua’s face flushed as if she were tipsy from wine, her eyes brimming with a mixture of affection and desire.

“Are you affected by that kind of drug?” Ming Yishu half-knelt and touched Jiang Qionghua’s burning forehead. “A cautious person like you actually fell for such a trick.”

Jiang Qionghua’s gaze was blurred as she stared at her, murmuring softly, “I am so hot.”

Ming Yishu thought for a moment and said, “Let go first. I will have someone bring you an antidote.”

“There is no antidote.” Jiang Qionghua had never tested this vial of medicine. She once thought that taking it would cause her to harm Ming Yishu, so she had been desperate to leave. But now, she realized that by taking too much at once, she had even lost her physical strength; she simply held onto Ming Yishu tightly and refused to let go.

“If there is no antidote, I will find someone for you.”

In contrast to Jiang Qionghua’s agonizing state, Ming Yishu’s emotions were utterly flat. She looked down at the person on the ground calmly, as if whether this person lived or died had nothing to do with her.

“I don’t want anyone else. I only like you, Yishu. Don’t go, don’t leave me alone.” A sense of terror suddenly rose in Jiang Qionghua’s heart. She clutched Ming Yishu’s hand desperately; even if the other gave no response, she was willing to be the one proactively seeking intimacy.

“We have already separated,” Ming Yishu said softly as she straightened Jiang Qionghua’s hair. “I will not do it with you.”

Jiang Qionghua’s hopes were dashed, and her mood plummeted instantly.

Ming Yishu continued, “But since your current state was caused by me, I cannot just sit by and do nothing.”

Jiang Qionghua froze, and then joy surged in her heart. She waited expectantly for Ming Yishu’s next words, as if she had received the ultimate pardon in the world.

“There is no antidote, and you refuse to settle for just anyone. Then I can only think of another way.” Ming Yishu’s gaze swept across the room. After a scan, she looked down at Jiang Qionghua and asked, “Would a candlestick work?”

Jiang Qionghua’s smile froze. She said in disbelief, “What?”

“I will remove the handle of that candlestick for you to use,” Ming Yishu said, sounding as if she had already made up her mind. “If you think it’s dirty, I will rinse the dust off with boiling water. It happens to be warm, which might make you more comfortable.”

“Ming Yishu—”

Jiang Qionghua gritted her teeth, uttering the name syllable by syllable, her entire body trembling with rage.

What a humiliation! Ming Yishu had actually come up with such a method to humiliate her. Beyond disappointment, Jiang Qionghua heard the blatant contempt in those few words.

How could Ming Yishu say such a thing?

“I was once your lover, after all. How can you despise me so much?” Jiang Qionghua felt a suffocating weight in her chest. She couldn’t understand how Ming Yishu had suddenly become so heartless, refusing to leave even a shred of affection behind.

“Does the Right Chancellor not like the candlestick?” Ming Yishu seemed not to hear her, immersed in her own topic, answering irrelevant to the question. “The other day, I chose a long piece of pillar jade to carve into a flute. If you feel the candlestick handle is unsuitable, I will get that jade for you to use instead.”

Jiang Qionghua hissed, “Listen carefully to what I am saying. I am not talking about that.”

Ming Yishu completely ignored her. This scene—it was just like a long time ago, when Jiang Qionghua refused to lower her head and listen to her explanations.

Jiang Qionghua gradually realized that the situation felt familiar. After all, she had once been just as headstrong, ignoring Ming Yishu’s defenses and grievances.

As it turned out, such a situation was truly despairing.

The more Jiang Qionghua remembered her past malicious behavior, the more she realized how rare it was for Ming Yishu to have endured it for so many years. A villain like herself truly did not deserve to beg for forgiveness…

“Yishu, I know all the grievances you suffered before. I will never make those mistakes again.” Guilt filled Jiang Qionghua’s eyes as she realized her wrongs. “Don’t go looking for the jade. I won’t use that thing. I don’t like using it.”

“If you don’t like it, just endure it; it will be over soon.” Ming Yishu ignored all of Jiang Qionghua’s resistance. She helped her to the couch and gently untied the other’s waist sash. As the skirts loosened layer by layer, Ming Yishu brushed over Jiang Qionghua, finding an angle where she could insert the jade.

Ming Yishu said, “Wait a moment, I’ll go get the item.”

“Come back, Ming Yishu, come back… don’t go…” Jiang Qionghua could only let Ming Yishu handle her. Seeing the other woman’s singular determination to use the jade on her, she couldn’t hide her despair, her eyes reddening with the sting of humiliation.

Ming Yishu’s mood wasn’t much better. She wasn’t doing this for revenge, so she didn’t feel any sense of satisfaction. Her gaze remained desolate and calm, like the reflection of the moon in an ancient well—unwavering and unmoved.

“Do you… not like me… at all anymore…” Jiang Qionghua asked with difficulty, one hand reaching back to grab Ming Yishu’s arm, wrinkling the sleeve into a long fold. “Why… would you rather waste jade… than do it yourself…”

Ming Yishu stopped her movements and answered, “I remember the Right Chancellor saying that she found me ‘dirty’.”

“I never despised you.” Jiang Qionghua turned her face to rest her head against her arm, her breathing finally slowing from its rapid pace. “I love you more than I can say; how could I ever think you were dirty?”

“You said it. I kept it in my heart, and I remember it every day,” Ming Yishu said. “Since those hurtful words weren’t what you truly believed, why did you say them? Was it only to bully me?”

Jiang Qionghua replied, “I was a wretch. Those biting words were all lies.”

“Jiang Qionghua, I no longer care which of your words are true and which are false. Once I help you resolve the effects of this drug today, if you have any conscience left, stop pestering me.” After a few sentences, Ming Yishu finally brought the conversation back to their separation. She said, “I don’t love you anymore. Even if you stripped off all your clothes before me right now, I wouldn’t want you in the slightest.”

In such a moment of supposed intimacy, Ming Yishu’s sudden, heartless words made Jiang Qionghua’s face turn deathly pale. It felt as if a knife had been plunged into her heart; the pain was so sharp she nearly choked.

“Yishu, don’t treat me like this.” Jiang Qionghua closed her eyes, trying her best not to look so pathetic. She was afraid that if she opened them, she would meet Ming Yishu’s desolate gaze—afraid that the moment she looked up, her tears would fall, exposing her crushing defeat.

“I am treating you very well.” Ming Yishu moved the jade back inside, saying softly, “Back then, you always intentionally made me hurt. You loved to watch me struggle and hit you powerlessly. Now that you are in my hands, I haven’t intentionally hurt you; I’ve already done all that kindness requires.”

Jiang Qionghua knew she was telling the truth. Ming Yishu indeed wasn’t being malicious; her movements were gentle and skillful, sincerely intended to clear the drug’s effects.

“I’m sorry.” Jiang Qionghua curled her knees in pain and said, “I am sorry to you.”

“Don’t just spend your time regretting; hurry up. I’m a bit tired.” Ming Yishu manipulated the jade perfunctorily, clearly losing patience. “How do you feel now—”

Jiang Qionghua pressed her forehead against Ming Yishu’s arm. Her eyes were stinging. Her heart was being pierced by Ming Yishu’s words; how could she feel any pleasure? At this moment, the agony in her heart far outweighed the physical relief of the drug fading. Her body felt numb, as if she could feel nothing at all.

Ming Yishu asked, “Is it because I am too poor at this? Is that why you aren’t—”

“No, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” Jiang Qionghua was afraid she would overthink it and quickly grabbed her to explain, “I will be quick. Just give me a little more time.”

“Fine,” Ming Yishu agreed mildly. Her hand was getting tired, so she switched hands to continue. “If it hurts, tell me.”

Jiang Qionghua had never experienced such a tormenting and heartbreaking moment. She nearly ground her teeth to dust; it felt like an interrogation or a punishment. Both her body and mind ached severely.

Even though her heart was in such pain, she didn’t dare show it to Ming Yishu. To show that she was still “immersed” in the act, Jiang Qionghua even cooperated by breathing heavily, as if she were enjoying herself.

“Qionghua, do you know? Once, you only had to lift a finger to make my heart race.” Seeing Jiang Qionghua trying so hard to fake enjoyment, Ming Yishu felt a sudden surge of bitterness. She gently brushed the hair from the other’s face, reminiscing about their past affection.

Jiang Qionghua bit her lip in response, weeping silently.

“But now that we’ve reached this point, the affection between us is already riddled with holes. How can we ever go back to how it was?” Ming Yishu gently withdrew the jade and asked, “Do you think we can go back?”

They couldn’t go back.

“Right now, even if you make such sounds to tempt me, I don’t feel the slightest bit of attraction.” Ming Yishu’s gaze was desolate and low. The corners of her mouth twitched, but she couldn’t bring herself to smile. “I suppose it’s the same for you. It’s been so long, yet the drug’s effects haven’t cleared.”

Jiang Qionghua was in too much pain to let the drug reach its climax. She was being “lingered” to death by Ming Yishu’s words; how could she lose herself in the moment?

“Yishu, just pretend to lie to me one more time. Act as if things are still the same as before. Just lie to me.” Jiang Qionghua was practically begging. “Just like back in the Chancellor’s manor, when you still called me ‘Gugu’.”

The only response was a long silence.

Ming Yishu had already left her side to put away the jade.

Jiang Qionghua finally gave up all hope. She collapsed onto the couch, no longer daring to wish for anything.

When she felt Ming Yishu return, Jiang Qionghua didn’t think much of it. Although the drug’s effects hadn’t fully dissipated, she wasn’t as hot as before. After all, with her heart being stabbed so many times, she couldn’t focus on anything else.

Ming Yishu came behind her again and pulled her into her arms.

Jiang Qionghua said, “If you find it troublesome, just leave me here. Once I regain my strength, I will dress myself.”

Ming Yishu didn’t answer. She only held her gently in her embrace, even allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder. Jiang Qionghua keenly sensed something different—why was the other’s movement so tender?

It felt just like the old days.

Jiang Qionghua leaned against her longingly. Just as she was about to speak, Ming Yishu pressed a finger to her lips.

Instant silence.

Ming Yishu lowered her head, leaning close to the hair by Jiang Qionghua’s ear, and whispered tenderly:

“Gugu, let it go, alright?”

What did she call her?

Hearing those words, Jiang Qionghua shuddered violently. It felt as if her entire body had been dipped into a warm pool. The moment those comforting words landed, she released everything. The drug’s effect, which had stubbornly refused to fade all night, vanished in an instant.

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