Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 45.1

Ming Yishu Wakes from a Nightmare in Terror

Since the day she requested leave, Jiang Qionghua had never again appeared in the imperial court. It was as if she had fallen gravely ill, losing all her former ambition and power.

The place that had been deliberately sealed away for over a year finally saw the light of day again. Jiang Qionghua went personally every day to clean Ming Yishu’s residence, often staying there for a very long time.

She constantly thought of the things that had happened between them in the past, allowing herself to sink into memories with a kind of reckless desolation.

Bo Lu offered up the six jade hairpins he had managed to gather in their entirety, hoping to cheer the Prime Minister up. However, upon seeing the pins, Jiang Qionghua’s mood sank even lower. In the days without Ming Yishu, her chronic headaches grew increasingly severe. Coupled with the guilt in her heart, she found it difficult to sleep at all, often staring blankly at Ming Yishu’s old belongings for the entire night.

“Prime Minister.” Seeing her in this state, Bo Lu tried to call her back to her senses using some major events that had occurred recently. “Recently, His Majesty has commissioned a new Junior General; that person is the County Princess Xieyang, who only recently rose to power.”

“Put it down.” Jiang Qionghua had no heart to say anything more. She took the jade hairpins presented in the box, her face fully revealing a pale fragility. “You need not persuade me further. I find everything utterly tedious and no longer wish to concern myself with those matters.”

Bo Lu continued, “My subordinates have investigated; that woman’s identity is suspicious. She seems to be the daughter of ‘that’ disgraced official.”

Jiang Qionghua could not process a single word. She looked down dejectedly at the jade hairpins in her hand, as if seeing the image of Ming Yishu meticulously carving them. The girl had always been so multi-talented—she could compose music, play the zither, carve jade, paint, and write poetry. She would even specifically dress in beautiful clothes to perform a dance for her…

“Ming Yishu’s hands were so dexterous; the jade hairpins she carved were more vibrant than anyone else’s.” Jiang Qionghua stroked the jade pins over and over, examining each one carefully, her eyes filled with affection. “Bo Lu, thanks to your careful preservation of these pins over the years. This was the birthday gift she gave me. I failed her heart, but you had the mindfulness to keep this gift for me. Go and receive your reward. I shall grant you a fine manor. You have followed me for so many years; it is time for you to enjoy your retirement.”

Bo Lu was indeed old, but he was far from being unable to walk. As the manager of the Prime Minister’s manor, he had always worked for Jiang Qionghua, dedicating his entire life to the residence.

He did not want to leave.

Especially now, with Jiang Qionghua in such a desolate and lost state, he could not leave even more.

The Jiang Qionghua of the past would rather her subordinates follow her until death than let them disperse. Her words now did not sound like a favor, but rather like a final arrangement before a parting.

Bo Lu was frightened by this omen. He knew that their Prime Minister’s greatest interest used to be power; nothing in the court could be hidden from her. Everyone knew the Right Prime Minister’s eyes were full of ambition, but seeing her now, he found only icy numbness. It was as if she had become weary of all things and was unwilling to spend any more effort on them.

“Prime Minister, a few days ago, a sorcerer of world-renown arrived in the capital. It is heard he comes from the immortal mountains of Pengzhou, and has visited both the azure heavens and the yellow springs. As long as the payment is sufficient, there is nothing he cannot achieve.”

Bo Lu was an honest man and usually looked down on those who played with spirits and ghosts. However, the current situation was exceptional. He never expected that one day he would actively recommend such a sorcerer to Jiang Qionghua, just to give her the spirit to keep living.

Sure enough, as soon as these words were spoken, Jiang Qionghua looked up: “What do you mean by this?”

Bo Lu fabricated wildly, “This old servant feels it might be best to invite him to try, to ask how Miss Ming is faring currently.”

Jiang Qionghua frowned: “What? Bo Lu, have you also started speaking nonsense?”

“Prime Minister, it is not that this old servant is babbling, it’s just—think about it, didn’t that Tang Guangjun also experience a rebirth once? Miss Ming once said she came from the same place as that person; perhaps it will happen again like that.” Bo Lu said, “You must take care of your health, so that when Miss Ming returns to see you, she will not feel worried.”

Jiang Qionghua shook her head with a bitter smile: “She won’t come back. She said she would never see me again, preferring to go to her death rather than be reborn.”

Bo Lu’s face was full of sorrow, but he gritted his teeth and continued to lie: “Then let us invite the sorcerer to see what kind of family Miss Ming has been reincarnated into, what kind of cycle of reincarnation she has entered, and what kind of life she will lead in the future.”

Only after these words were spoken did Jiang Qionghua finally show a spark of interest: “Very well. Whatever family she is reincarnated into, I will send people to look after them, ensuring she lives a life free of worry for food and clothing.”

After saying this, even Jiang Qionghua herself didn’t believe it. She closed her eyes with difficulty to steady her emotions for a moment, knowing that Ming Yishu might not even be willing to reincarnate; she would likely rather wander as a ghost between heaven and earth than experience suffering again.

The reason she had such a suspicion was that Jiang Qionghua had found a piece of paper among Ming Yishu’s old things filled with her innermost thoughts—it recorded the hardships she had once suffered and the difficult life she had lived in another world.

Jiang Qionghua suddenly remembered. After she had locked Ming Yishu in the woodshed on that snowy night, they had a moment of baring their hearts to each other. But at that time, after she finished speaking of her own past, she felt irritable and didn’t want to hear Ming Yishu’s troubles at all. She had dismissed her with the excuse of “wanting to wash her hair and bathe alone.” At that time, she told Ming Yishu that she could write down what she wanted to say on paper and she would find time to read it.

Ming Yishu wrote it, but she never looked at it.

Because she had never truly cared, she naturally didn’t remember.

After finding this relic filled with private thoughts, Jiang Qionghua saw the suffering Ming Yishu had endured. The girl had suffered many malicious stares because of her beauty; at that time, Ming Yishu was all alone with no one to protect her. She had also prayed in her heart for relatives or a partner to keep her safe…

The moment she finished reading that paper, Jiang Qionghua instantly understood why Ming Yishu had treated her with her whole heart upon their first meeting. The girl had always yearned for a singular, exclusive love, and she had lied then, claiming to have saved her, even asking her to call her “Auntie” in the future.

No wonder Ming Yishu was willing to seek reconciliation so gently after being failed so many times. It wasn’t that she had no temper or was a pushover, but rather that she had entrusted her everything to Jiang Qionghua. Thus, she was unwilling to be angry with her, and unwilling to grow distant over some groundless suspicions.

Jiang Qionghua felt extreme remorse, feeling more and more that she had wronged Ming Yishu’s heart.

She was a villain. Ming Yishu’s meeting with her could truly be considered disastrous luck; not only did she waste so many years of affection, but she also lost her life.

“I will not disturb her life anymore. I have harmed her; how can I go and force her again?” Jiang Qionghua could only swallow her regrets alone, consuming her own bitterness every night. She said to Bo Lu, “Go find that sorcerer, arrange the money well, and see if there is a way to make Yishu’s life more smooth and stable.”

Bo Lu took the order and bowed as he retreated.

He did not go to find a sorcerer. There was no such sorcerer from afar in the capital at all; it was all a lie he had concocted. Now he needed to find someone who acted mysteriously to put on a show—either to say Miss Ming had been reincarnated or that she had forgiven the Prime Minister. In short, he had to find a way to let the Prime Minister let go of the guilt in her heart so she would stop self-destructing and self-harming all day.

There were an unknown number of scars on Jiang Qionghua’s arm. Although Bo Lu had never seen them with his own eyes, he had occasionally discovered that her sleeves were soaked with blood from wounds. New wounds always appeared as the old ones healed, as if their Prime Minister could only maintain her sanity through intense pain, punishing and torturing herself day after day…

On this day, Jiang Qionghua received the jade hairpins and fell asleep on the lounge chair while holding one. Perhaps because she had Ming Yishu’s old object by her side, she managed to fall asleep for once and even had a dream.

It was the exact same dream she had once before—

The air in the dream was stagnant and difficult to breathe. She was still inside Ming Yishu’s bedchamber, right here on this lounge chair, and looking down, she saw Ming Yishu’s soft and beautiful figure.

The girl was kneeling by her knees, wrapped in soft misty gauze, her face serene.

Jiang Qionghua couldn’t help but wet her eyes. In the familiar dream, she lost control of her emotions and moved toward that familiar figure: “Yishu, have you come to see me…”

But, she grasped at nothing.

Her body passed through Ming Yishu, touching only a void.

Jiang Qionghua’s eyes nearly split with shock as she turned her head in panic—on the original lounge chair, there lay another “Jiang Qionghua.” She was like a living soul that had left its body, departing from the chair and unable to return, unable to stop what was about to happen, and even more unable to speak with Ming Yishu.

“Auntie…” In the dream, Ming Yishu leaned against the “Jiang Qionghua’s” knees, her waist slightly dipping to reveal an alluring curve, her eyes shimmering with ripples of affection as she gazed intently at the person on the chair.

“Mhm.”

The “Jiang Qionghua” on the chair pressed her brow, her eyes full of meanness and hostility.

The Jiang Qionghua standing on the ground looked painfully at herself on the chair. That was her in the past—how mean and heartless she was. The look she gave Ming Yishu was actually that cold.

In the dream, Ming Yishu smiled slightly, resting her chin on “Jiang Qionghua’s” knee and repeating the words from the previous dream. She wanted to be close to “Jiang Qionghua” and asked why the other was pushing her away.

The “Jiang Qionghua” on the chair sighed, lightly stroking Ming Yishu’s cheek with the back of her hand, chiding: “How can you be so shameless in a dream?”

“Yishu will always remember Auntie’s kindness. Serving Auntie doesn’t feel shameful.” Ming Yishu gazed at “Jiang Qionghua” with a look that could drown someone, taking the opportunity to catch her hand and rubbing her cheek against it obediently, repeating: “Not shameful.”

The Jiang Qionghua on the ground found it almost too painful to continue watching. Now she stood here looking back at an old dream, seeing with her own eyes how her past self had treated Ming Yishu, and how affectionately Ming Yishu had loved her—even if it was just a dream, the girl’s heart had never changed.

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