Waiting for You for a Long Time, But You Haven't Arrived - Chapter 38

“How can I not be ‘dirty’?”

“Yishu, come. Come to my side.” Ji Zijun was pruning flower branches. She leaned down to gently sniff a meticulously cultivated blood plum before extending her hand toward Ming Yishu. “Look at the shape of these plum blossoms. Although technology was advanced in our era and there were many varieties of plums, there was nothing like this.”

Ming Yishu sat to one side, holding a round silk fan in her hand. It belonged to the girls of the Red Jade Pavilion; a faint, lingering fragrance drifted from it upon a close sniff.

Although the weather was cold and a fan was unnecessary, the girls here still enjoyed fiddling with them.

The fan was exquisite, so Ming Yishu held one in her hand as well. Hearing Ji Zijun call her name, she finally shifted her gaze to the other woman.

This person—her former benefactor, the investor who had consistently supported her—was so deeply enamored with ancient culture that her every movement and gesture carried an ancient charm. It was no wonder Ming Yishu had failed to discover her true identity for so many years.

Ming Yishu looked at the hand extended toward her. After a moment’s hesitation, she ultimately took it, mindful of the kindness the woman had shown her.

Ji Zijun held her hand and drew her close, her voice exceptionally tender. “You weren’t harassed when you ran out, were you?”

“No,” Ming Yishu said.

Ji Zijun nodded and turned to pick up a vermillion brush. “The plum blossoms are blooming beautifully. Lie down here; I will paint a few blossoms for you.”

Ming Yishu didn’t react immediately. Her gaze was blank with confusion. “What?”

She couldn’t connect these three things: the plums were blooming well, so why did her teacher want her to lie down? To paint? Where was she going to paint?

“Be good.”

As Ji Zijun spoke these coaxing words, she gently pressed down on Ming Yishu’s shoulders, guiding her to lie down.

Ming Yishu’s pupils dilated in surprise. As she was pushed down, the hair near her ears was ruffled, yet she remained beautiful in both motion and stillness.

Ji Zijun was extremely satisfied with this face. Resting the vermillion brush with one hand, she used the other to caress the girl’s features. Seeing that her countenance was pure and ethereal—a beauty that could not be hidden regardless of the circumstances—she realized this had always been her favorite look.

“The sun is about to set. I hope to finish a piece of work before dark,” Ji Zijun said, taking the girl’s hand and moving it to the side to keep it out of the way. “Once night falls, they will begin their move. Cooperate a little; do not delay the hour.”

“I…” Ming Yishu vaguely guessed what was about to happen and tried to change the subject out of resistance. “Where is Qian’er? I still feel uneasy; I want to go check on her first.”

“Do not concern yourself with such trivial matters.” A hint of displeasure flickered across Ji Zijun’s face. She sat beside her, watching her. “Or rather… could it be that you no longer wish to listen to me?”

Ming Yishu didn’t speak; she only shook her head.

Ji Zijun said to her, “Yishu, I know you have a sincere nature and a sense of gratitude. Before, you simply mistook someone’s identity; I can overlook that. But from now on, I will not allow you to think about those past events anymore. Jiang Qionghua is not a good person. Don’t think of her.”

At the mention of that name, Ming Yishu felt a pang of distress. When she left the Prime Minister’s manor, she had locked the other woman up and humiliated her so. Surely that woman must be livid; a person like her would never tolerate such a grudge. Perhaps she was hunting her down across the world right now.

They would never meet again. There was no need to miss her anymore.

“Don’t worry about Su Qian’er. I will find someone to kill Kang Huaiyi. The Kang clan should have died long ago. If Jiang Qionghua hadn’t constantly employed treacherous people with wicked hearts, the Kang clan wouldn’t have been so arrogant.” Ji Zijun still habitually slandered Jiang Qionghua; this hatred seemed carved into her bones. She said, “There is one more thing I haven’t told you. That day when Jiang Qionghua sent people to the manor to seize me, I was in a rush to escape and didn’t notice what happened at the Red Jade Pavilion. I let that Kang Huaiyi cause trouble here, and he hurt Fanghe.”

Fanghe…

Who was Fanghe?

Ming Yishu had nearly forgotten. She only felt the name was somewhat familiar, as if she had heard it a few times—likely from Ji Zijun’s own mouth.

She asked almost inaudibly, “Was she hurt badly?”

“She has gone mad. It’s a pity she still has an elderly mother. Over the years, Fanghe played music at the Red Jade Pavilion just so she could get money to buy medicine for her mother… It is tragic that her mother’s illness isn’t cured yet, and now she has gone mad as well,” Ji Zijun said. “If nothing else, blame Jiang Qionghua. If she hadn’t investigated me that day, I wouldn’t have failed to notice the situation at the Red Jade Pavilion.”

At the mention of the “madness,” Ming Yishu remembered everything. There was indeed such a good girl who came to the Red Jade Pavilion to treat her insane mother… On the day she emerged from the palace wounded by an arrow, that mother had even blocked the Prime Minister’s carriage…

The hemp rope always breaks at the thinnest strand; misfortune only finds the wretched. Why was heaven so blind that it refused to let this miserable mother and daughter go?

Ming Yishu was so grieved she could not speak.

“Yishu, do you know? If you hadn’t asked me to save Yang Bofu, Jiang Qionghua wouldn’t have suspected you, and she wouldn’t have investigated me. That night wouldn’t have happened, and Fanghe wouldn’t have gone mad…” Ji Zijun whispered into Ming Yishu’s ear, her tone soft, as she gently twirled a strand of the girl’s dark hair with her finger. “So, you see, you should never have given your heart to Jiang Qionghua in the first place.”

Ming Yishu bit her lip in agony, devastated by these words. Ji Zijun was right; everything was her fault. If she hadn’t tried to help Jiang Qionghua, none of this would have happened.

She knew why Assistant Minister Kang had come to the Red Jade Pavilion to listen to music those few days. It was because he had heard her flute in the Plum Garden but failed to take Su Qian’er away, so he had come to the Red Jade Pavilion in a foul mood to vent.

It was her fault.

She shouldn’t have come to this world.

She was someone who brought disaster to everyone. She didn’t deserve to be loved. She deserved to die.

Ji Zijun turned a blind eye to her pain. In fact, she took advantage of her fragile state to continue breaking her spirit with words: “Jiang Qionghua is not a good person. Being near her only brings misfortune. Not only will it ruin you, it will ruin everyone around you.”

Attacking the heart was Ji Zijun’s specialty. She was an expert at manipulating hearts, causing pain, and destroying a person from the inside out.

Seeing others suffer gave her joy.

Whenever she destroyed a person with words, she always felt a sense of self-satisfied accomplishment. She never failed. Even with Jiang Qionghua—so what? Although Jiang Qionghua had once killed her, she had also ruined Jiang Qionghua’s entire life.

A villain like Jiang Qionghua didn’t deserve to live well.

“Teacher, stop talking.” Ming Yishu grabbed Ji Zijun’s arm, her shoulders tense. “Don’t mention her anymore, okay?”

Ji Zijun smiled slightly and pulled her into an embrace. “Very well. You only need to remember—always trust me. You and I are the ones who truly belong together. In this place, no one else is worth trusting. Give your heart to me, and I will treat you well and bring you back to reality safely.”

Ming Yishu’s mental state was very poor. Her chest ached so intensely that she could only lean against the other woman to alleviate the pain.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid.”

Feeling the other’s dependence, Ji Zijun took a deep, satisfied breath. Her mind and body were delighted to the extreme.

So good.

Ji Zijun turned her face in intoxication, sniffing the soft, fragrant scent of Ming Yishu. The beauty in her arms perfectly fit her aesthetic ideals; she was her life’s work, her blade, her muse.

Everything was moving toward her expectations. Ji Zijun was in an excellent mood, trying her best not to think of that nuisance, Jiang Qionghua.

In their past life, if Jiang Qionghua hadn’t been so difficult to deal with, she would have returned to reality long ago and wouldn’t have dragged Ming Yishu into this.

“Yishu, look up.” Ji Zijun maintained her tenderness to the end, always facing Ming Yishu with a smile. she tilted the girl’s chin up, leaning in to kiss her.

Weighted down by heavy thoughts, Ming Yishu felt the breath approaching. She raised the round fan she had been holding, blocking the kiss.

Ji Zijun’s kiss landed on the fan. The scent of cosmetics on it made her frown with disgust, and all her romantic notions vanished instantly.

Get this damn fan away! she cursed hysterically in her mind, but she didn’t show it on her face. To Ming Yishu, she appeared only to hesitate for a moment.

“Fine, think about it slowly. I won’t force you.” Ji Zijun tried her best to appear magnanimous. She gave up on the kiss and instead reached her fingers toward Ming Yishu’s collar. “The vermillion brush shouldn’t sit for too long, or the painted plums won’t be vivid enough. Don’t move anymore, let—”

Ming Yishu didn’t move, but Ji Zijun suddenly stopped.

She stopped mid-sentence, having caught sight of a red mark on Ming Yishu’s collarbone.

—Right where she wanted to paint a plum, there was a hickey!!!

Ji Zijun’s calm facade nearly collapsed. Her eyes turned sharp, and her thin lips parted, but she couldn’t say a word.

Jiang Qionghua did this!

That villain had dirtied her Ming Yishu!

Seeing her expression was wrong, Ming Yishu looked down at herself. She didn’t know when a hickey had appeared there; she hadn’t noticed it before. In her memory, Qionghua hadn’t left a mark there.

When did it happen?

Ming Yishu didn’t know, but she realized how embarrassing it was to expose such a mark in this situation, so she discreetly pulled her collar tight without explaining.

“So dirty. Truly dirty.” Ji Zijun knitted her brows, not wanting to look a second longer. She said, “Go wash yourself. It’s too dirty; it’s an eyesore.”

Dirty.

That word again. Ming Yishu was always described with that word. In reality, her classmates called her that, and her parents said it too. In this world, Jiang Qionghua always called her dirty. After their first time together, that woman had tossed her a handkerchief and told her to wipe herself well, saying she was filthy…

But why? Why did her teacher have to say it too?

Ming Yishu choked up and asked, “Where exactly am I dirty? How can I not be dirty? Or rather… how can I stop you all from thinking I am dirty?”

Ji Zijun was taken aback by the question, then replied dismissively, “I hate Jiang Qionghua. She touched you, so I think it’s dirty.”

“I’m sorry.” Ming Yishu lowered her head, then looked up to negotiate. “She has already had a relationship with me. Even if I want to forget her, I cannot deny what has already happened. Teacher, you actually care, don’t you? There’s no need to pretend anymore. I know.”

Washing… how could washing truly make a person clean?

“You have been kind to me. I can give my life to repay you. In this world, you can ask me to do anything.” Ming Yishu wanted to be honest. Since both of them already understood the situation, there was no point in sugarcoating it. It was better to speak plainly—repay what needs to be repaid and stop pretending.

Ji Zijun’s brow smoothed as she spoke again: “I’m not blaming you. This matter is easily solved. Set your heart at ease. It will be like a dream; just close your eyes for a while, and when you wake up again, you will be pure and clean once more.”

In this world, as long as the mission was not complete, one could never leave through death.

Ji Zijun had tried it. Not long after death, one would be resurrected.

She wanted Ming Yishu to die once—to die with purpose. Ideally, it would stimulate Jiang Qionghua enough to drive her completely mad.

Ming Yishu nodded. She didn’t ask further, giving her silent consent to all of Ji Zijun’s ideas.

Ji Zijun stroked her hair soothingly, murmuring, “Don’t think too much. I will handle everything…”

Ming Yishu was her best blade, her most useful trump card. She could be sent into the Prime Minister’s manor to be her eyes, and she could emotionally bind Jiang Qionghua. For six years, Jiang Qionghua hadn’t realized this, foolishly trying to get revenge on Ji Zijun, not knowing she had been stuck in the pit Ji Zijun dug for her all along, sinking deeper and deeper.

The truths that Jiang Qionghua refused to tell would eventually be known by Ming Yishu. Ji Zijun didn’t believe that Jiang Qionghua, thinking she had been dead for six years, could still keep those secrets without letting a single word slip.

She didn’t believe anyone in the world had such a deep, impenetrable mind. Jiang Qionghua certainly couldn’t do it.

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