Transmigrating Into the Beautiful CEO’s Doomed Substitute - Chapter 54

“Then would you want to try that kind of kiss again? Or, further intimacy?”

Shen Zhibing’s emotions gradually relaxed. The soothing music and faint aromatherapy in the room, along with the professional and measured tone of the psychologist, finally allowed her often-tense nerves to begin relaxing.

After listening to Shen Zhibing’s statement, the psychologist suggested, “In addition to emphasizing your goal, Ms. Shen, you should also focus more on yourself. Try to ask yourself, what do you want the most?”

Shen Zhibing almost blurted out: “Of course, I want to be free.”

That was all she thought about, and that was why she felt anxious, like a person about to drown, looking for the last glimmer of hope for life.

“Look past the surface and see the essence. Freedom will come eventually, so is there anything else your heart desires?”

Shen Zhibing calmed down, contemplating what she truly desired.

She had too many things to consider every day. Company matters took up most of her time, and she also had to pay attention to the Shen family’s situation. Even though she didn’t live there often, she was always clear about the movements of the mansion.

The remaining time used to be dedicated to her relationship with Lian Ao. As for now, it truly felt aimless.

Seeing her confusion, the psychologist began to guide her: “Your emotional problem is not only due to external factors but also your own excessive suppression. You subconsciously seal off a part of your heart’s desire and are unwilling to genuinely face it, which is of no benefit to you.”

Shen Zhibing agreed with this statement. She sought professional help because she felt her own distress. However, she couldn’t pinpoint feelings that had been sealed away for too long.

The psychologist was not unfamiliar with this type of case and continued to advise: “Close your eyes, relax completely, and forget about the busy daily trivialities. Try to listen to the voice in your heart.”

Shen Zhibing complied, and the silent state in the room lasted for quite some time.

Then, Shen Zhibing slowly spoke: “I want a hug, the kind that holds me tightly.”

“And what else?”

“I want close contact, the kind with warmth, preferably where we’re pressed against each other.”

The psychologist recorded it in her report and then gently asked, “Who do you want to have this kind of contact with?”

Who? Shen Zhibing had been trying to delete Lian Ao from her memory bank during this time, but habits were not changed overnight. Lian Ao’s name jumped out immediately, but numerous negative feelings immediately arose in Shen Zhibing’s heart.

She fell into confusion again. It seemed that besides Lian Ao, she couldn’t find a second person to bear this desire. But she had given up on Lian Ao and would never have any close contact with him, let alone that kind of intimacy.

Qi Zheng’s name appeared again. This time, besides the name, there was her face. Apart from her usual indifference, Shen Zhibing actually remembered her lips, the lips she had bitten that night on the mountaintop.

The sensation was brief. Qi Zheng hadn’t responded, and it was like kissing a piece of soft flesh, yet it still stirred her heart.

Shen Zhibing’s eyes remained closed. She subconsciously licked her lips, hesitating to speak Qi Zheng’s name.

The professional immediately recognized that she already had an answer.

“You can say anyone who comes to mind. It’s okay.”

“I kissed her, and the feeling was very strange. I didn’t have any expectations, but after kissing her, I felt quite good.”

“Then would you want to try that kind of kiss again? Or, further intimacy?”

Shen Zhibing also fell into deep thought. She tried to imagine herself, and those intimate moments she’d had in her dreams—if they were replaced with Qi Zheng’s face… she suddenly tightened her grip on the soft cushion beside her.

“I don’t know.”

That ultimate intimacy was unfamiliar to Shen Zhibing. She had never had it with Lian Ao, nor had she experienced it herself. Only in her dreams, vaguely, driven by her body’s needs, had she released herself.

But that pleasure was faint and fleeting. After waking up, it only added a bit of melancholy. Shen Zhibing had always disliked discussing such matters openly. When her relationship with Lin Muyun was still good, she had been subtly questioned but always managed to evade it.

Yu Xinyan often joked that she was becoming more and more zen as she aged, showing no awareness of approaching thirty. Shen Zhibing knew what she meant, but she was ultimately busy and prejudiced. Unless she truly wanted something, nothing could force her to do it.

But sometimes the body doesn’t listen. The nearly thirty-year-old Shen Zhibing might be able to tell herself with reason that some things should not be forced. Yet, her nearly thirty-year-old body was restless. Every pore was stretching its little mouth, craving more.

She felt a little thirsty. Desire, once released, is not so easily quelled.

“Ms. Shen, that’s enough.”

The psychologist’s words gradually brought Shen Zhibing back to consciousness. She slowly opened her eyes, still feeling a slight warmth on her cheeks.

The psychologist handed her a glass of water. The temperature was cool but exactly what she needed: “Drink some water to calm your emotions.”

Words that were originally difficult to speak seemed very proper due to the other person’s professionalism. Shen Zhibing was not an inexperienced young woman. She could remain calm even when being challenged directly in the boardroom, let alone now.

She slowly took two sips, waiting for the lingering heat on her cheeks to dissipate.

“I think Ms. Shen is actually very clear about what her heart truly needs.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean all desires need to be fulfilled.”

“But this will directly affect your emotions.” The psychologist lowered her head to look at the report, then looked up at her. “You need an outlet for release, or you won’t be able to hold on.”

Human capability is limited. No matter how capable Shen Zhibing was, she couldn’t contain all her emotions indefinitely. She needed release for circulation, allowing good and bad emotions to truly coexist peacefully.

“I am more cautious in this area. There are very few people I can accept.”

The psychologist was not gossipy about this matter and suggested purely from a professional standpoint: “You can start with a relationship that makes you feel relaxed. You don’t have to be so goal-oriented from the start. A person who can make you feel relaxed must be someone who can bring you a sense of safety and happiness.”

The psychologist drew a few circles around Ms. Q’s name on the report but did not say the name aloud. After all, Ms. Q’s gender was not suitable as an option for Shen Zhibing.

Shen Zhibing considered it for a moment and put the cup back on the coffee table:

“I will seriously consider your suggestion.”

Today’s session was already longer than previous ones, and Shen Zhibing was becoming more relaxed, willing to talk about more of her issues. Although the results were not as good as expected, at least she had a place where she could speak her mind.

Before she left, the psychologist gave her a small bottle of medication: “This is a commonly used auxiliary medication abroad for currently relieving emotions. I hope it can help you resolve your knot.”

Shen Zhibing was reluctant to take medication, but she still accepted the small bottle.

“I will consider it, thank you.”

**

Qi Zheng had indeed been disheartened for a few days since failing the internal competition. However, she had seriously considered Shen Zhibing’s evaluation of her. Aside from the embarrassment of having her shortcomings pointed out to her face, President Shen’s evaluation was indeed correct.

Her personality was inherently unsuitable for sales. There were introverted people who became salespeople, but they were the minority after all. If it weren’t for the desire to quickly earn the liquidated damages, Qi Zheng wouldn’t have been so eager to go to the sales department.

To be frank, she had no desire or great interest in sales. Perhaps it would truly be as Shen Zhibing said: only after going there would she realize that her best effort only put her at an average level, and this feeling of powerlessness would be the most frustrating.

Having adjusted her mood, she re-engaged in the work of the secretary office. Yun Fei and the other secretaries showed no unusual behavior, nor did they specifically console her. Instead, it was people from other departments, those she was only semi-acquainted with, who, when encountering her in the elevator during commuting hours, earnestly advised her not to take it to heart, saying there would be plenty of opportunities in the future.

As if afraid others wouldn’t know Qi Zheng had been rejected.

The task force that Shen Zhibing mentioned, which was about to be established, had not yet been formally announced, but Qi Zheng was already preparing in advance. This time, she hoped to prove her ability and secure a place in this team.

Yun Fei was a strict superior and also a generous one. Her demands on Qi Zheng were the same as on the others; she wouldn’t lower expectations just because Qi Zheng was a newcomer. But she was also generous in teaching her things, even imparting her experience to her directly.

As Qi Zheng gradually became exposed to more of the secretary office’s work content, she truly felt fortunate that she hadn’t insisted on going to the sales department initially. She could learn more here, and it was also more suitable for her.

Jiang Youyou called her several times, and Qi Zheng finally found time to have dinner with her after work one day.

“Qi Zheng, tell me honestly, did you sell yourself to your boss?”

Qi Zheng’s hand, holding the slices of fatty beef, trembled, and the freshly boiled beef dropped back into the pot: “What nonsense are you talking about?”

Jiang Youyou put the piece of fatty beef that Qi Zheng had dropped into her own bowl, smiling playfully: “Then why are you suddenly so hard to pin down? Even I, who am doing projects, am not as busy as you.”

Lately, if Qi Zheng didn’t need to work overtime after work, she gave herself extra assignments, studying more financial analysis knowledge, and she was even preparing to take the CFA exam.

“Of course, I have to cherish good opportunities. I don’t want to be rejected again this time.”

Shen Zhibing had said there would be analysis positions in the team, but Qi Zheng wasn’t guaranteed a spot. Whether she succeeded or not still depended on her performance. Sales was an unfamiliar field to her, and she could accept losing.

If it were a position in her own professional field and she still couldn’t compete successfully, although it wouldn’t be unacceptable, it would still be a considerable blow to her.

“Hearing you say that, it really sounds like a good opportunity.” Jiang Youyou added a slice of beef tongue to Qi Zheng’s plate, then suddenly sighed lightly, “Actually, I kind of envy you. You went to the Shen’s headquarters and have such a great opportunity. Your boss, besides having high demands, is really good in other aspects. At least she has given you many opportunities.”

Young people aren’t afraid of hard work, they’re afraid of a lack of opportunities. The concept of seniority and waiting your turn is sometimes truly frustrating and helpless.

Qi Zheng smiled subtly, agreeing with Jiang Youyou’s statement to some extent.

In terms of work, Shen Zhibing had indeed given her many opportunities, and she had indeed progressed more than her peers.

Qi Zheng’s career ambitions gradually expanded and became evident at Shen’s. The thoughts that she had previously carefully hidden were slowly awakened. She craved more opportunities to perform and wanted to achieve breakthroughs in her work.

“But don’t push yourself too hard. Your health is the most important thing. I heard a colleague in the next team who’s been at the firm for two years fainted directly in the office last week due to myocarditis.”

The accounting firm business is truly demanding when it gets busy; Qi Zheng understood this very well.

Jiang Youyou shook her head and lamented: “You know what? That’s not the tragic part. The most tragic part is that the person collapsed, and their manager asked why they had to get sick at this time.”

Jiang Youyou swallowed a curse, thought about it, and ultimately didn’t say it.