Transmigrated as the Emperor, but Slacking Off - Chapter 24

“I, Gu Chengping, today submit this memorial alongside my coffin to impeach Ning Wujie, Commander of the Bureau of Investigation—”

“This villain is guilty of three great crimes! First, defiling the inner palace by using male beauty to beguile the Sovereign with fox-like sorcery! Second, deluding the Sacred Intelligence, causing the Sovereign to neglect state affairs and abolish early court sessions! Third, shaking the foundation of the nation by wielding the brush on behalf of Heaven, taking charge of censorship, and abusing public office for private torture!”

“The disaster of a powerful official usurping the throne is now plain to see!”

Gu Chengping stood in the square outside the Meridian Gate, a coffin positioned behind him. He was raising his arms and shouting with impassioned indignation. With him at the center, the Imperial Guards formed a circle several yards wide to keep the commoners back. A massive crowd had gathered, occupying the vast square until it was impassable.

Some of the onlookers whispered among themselves: “This sounds so detailed and vivid; why is it different from the stories I heard in the teahouses? Didn’t everyone say that the young general was being forced?”

“Hard to say. If he were forced, could he be so favored by His Majesty? If you ask me, it takes two to tango.”

“You don’t understand; this is called ‘playing hard to get.’ It takes exactly that kind of friction to make someone’s heart itch with desire.”

Gu Chengping shouted: “Though I am but a minor Supervising Secretary of the Ministry of Personnel, as a Remonstrating Official, I advise the Son of Heaven above and the officials below! If the traitor Ning is not removed, I shall dash myself against this coffin today, staining this place with my blood to rectify the universe!”

Three green-robed officials stepped forward, lifted the hems of their robes, and knelt beside the coffin. One of them said indignantly: “Now the traitor Ning covers the sky with a single hand, monopolizing the administration and preventing state affairs from reaching the Emperor’s ears. Today, Lord Gu offers a ‘remonstrance unto death’ with his coffin; we are willing to accompany him to the end. If the traitor Ning is not removed, we shall not rise from this kneeling!”

Among the crowd, several students of the Imperial Academy, inspired by the officials, also knelt beside the coffin. In raspy voices, they cried out: “Since Lord Gu dares to remonstrate unto death, we students are willing to accompany him in kneeling! We only wish to ‘purge the Sovereign’s side’ and return a clear sky to our nation!”

As soon as those words fell, another five or six students stepped out one after another to kneel, shouting: “Today, we shall purge the Sovereign’s side!”

“Purge the Sovereign’s side! Purge the Sovereign’s side!”

More and more voices joined in, merging into a single wave of sound. There were even commoners who enjoyed a good spectacle and feared no trouble; undeterred by the Imperial Guards, they whistled and egged them on: “Then go ahead and dash yourselves against it!”

“I don’t understand those fancy literary terms; I just want to see blood stain the Meridian Gate today!”

“Hit it!”

“What are you shouting for? Even a death-remonstrance must be meaningful! Make the traitor Ning come out!”

“Ning, come out!”

All sorts of voices intertwined, and the scene grew increasingly chaotic.

In the midst of the chaos, three cracks of a whip suddenly split the air. The Meridian Gate swung open with a boom, and the Emperor’s magnificent procession appeared within.

The nine-dragon parasol shielded the sun, and the Imperial Guards’ armor glinted coldly as they escorted the palanquin over the Imperial Way, coming to a halt outside the gate. Beside the imperial carriage, a youth clad in flying-fish patterned Yesa robes sat atop a tall white horse. His spine was as straight as a pine tree, a few stray hairs of his fringe swept across his brow, and his gaze looked down with disdain upon everyone in the square.

Apparently not expecting the Emperor to appear personally, the previously rowdy scene fell into an instant silence. Gu Chengping was also stunned. The Emperor usually avoided all officials; even the Grand Tutor had failed repeatedly in his attempts at “remonstrance unto death.” Because of this, Gu Chengping hadn’t expected to see the Emperor at all; his only target was Ning Wujie.

Wen Xing’s sudden appearance left him somewhat flustered. It took him a moment to react before he hurriedly prostrated himself. “I, Gu Chengping, Supervising Secretary of the Ministry of Personnel, kowtow to Your Majesty!”

The commoners blocked outside also knelt in silence, not daring to lift their heads to see the Heavenly Face.

The young Emperor, clad in an indigo-blue Daoist robe with hidden dragon patterns of k’ossu silk, sat high above. He was leisurely resting his chin on his hand as he watched the lively scene, saying lazily: “Quite a grand spectacle today.”

His voice was neither high nor low, carrying from a distance, yet it made Gu Chengping’s heart tighten.

“What did you say just now?” The Emperor’s lazy tone suddenly turned several degrees colder. “Purge the Sovereign’s side?”

“With just the likes of you?”

Gu Chengping’s pupils trembled. He suddenly spoke loudly: “I am but a scholar, a man of minor station! Yet the ancestral instructions of the Progenitor are above! Remonstrating officials report what they hear, and do not even avoid death! Ning Wujie monopolizes the administration and covers the sky with one hand; Your Majesty is blinded by a sycophant, endangering the state! As a Remonstrating Official, I have the duty to advise my Sovereign; even as a minor official, I dare not retreat one inch!”

He straightened his spine. “Today, I brought my coffin here, having long prepared to perish like shattered jade! If the traitor Ning is not executed, I shall use this hot blood to wake Your Majesty!”

He spoke with stirring passion and righteous indignation, yet a light chuckle came from the palanquin.

“Then hit it.”

Gu Chengping was stunned. ?

The Emperor’s gaze swept over him from on high. “You wanted to remonstrate unto death for me to see; I am here. Go ahead.”

Gu Chengping’s pupils shrank. He pointed at Ning Wujie atop his horse and raged: “Your Majesty! Without seeing this traitor Ning executed, I cannot close my eyes in death!”

The Sovereign said coldly: “I heard you say Lord Ning ‘bewitched the Sovereign’.” As Wen Xing spoke, he glanced at the youth on the white horse, then squinted at the kneeling man. “I am indeed ‘swayed by beauty’.”

He placed heavy emphasis on the phrase “swayed by beauty,” making Ning Wujie’s temple throb. This faint-hearted ruler… he’s intentionally using the exact words I once used to curse him to his face.

“But there’s nothing for it. Who told Lord Ning to be born so handsome? I simply like this physical shell.”

Ning Wujie: … His fingers tightened around the reins, exposing his white knuckles. So in the end, all he likes is this physical shell. He grit his teeth, his gaze toward the kneeling man turning even colder.

Apparently not expecting this faint-hearted ruler to admit his lechery in public, Gu Chengping stood frozen, not knowing how to respond.

Then he heard the Emperor say: “It is I who, out of lechery, insisted on forcibly keeping Lord Ning in court. It is I who, out of laziness, handed the reins of power to him. Your so-called ‘defiling the inner palace’ and ‘deluding the Sacred Intelligence’ are you cursing him, or are you cursing me?”

Hearing this, Ning Wujie turned to look at the Emperor, his gaze somewhat complex. Is this ruler… protecting him? Though to this Sovereign, admitting to lechery in front of the world might not mean much at all. Yet Ning Wujie’s calm heartbeat still faltered for a chaotic second.

Wen Xing leaned forward slowly, his gaze cold as it swept over Gu Chengping. He said hauntingly: “Why don’t you purge me, this faint-hearted ruler, along with him? Only then would your effort with the coffin not be in vain.”

Gu Chengping: ! He was struck with horror and instantly denied this “black pot” dropped from the heavens: “I would never dare!”

Wen Xing: “What is there you wouldn’t dare!”

You distort the facts and confuse the public. Under the banner of ‘purging the Sovereign’s side,’ your mouth is full of loyalty and righteousness, yet you don’t even dare to speak the words ‘the Emperor is muddled.’ You only avoid the major issues to focus on the minor. If you truly followed the Grand Tutor’s example and offered loyal and direct advice, I might have looked upon you with some respect.”

“As it stands, you are but a petty man who avoids harm for gain, seeking fame through hypocrisy.”

The Emperor’s words left Gu Chengping completely unable to formulate a rebuttal. He could only mutter: “I… I only…” He “only”ed for a long time without being able to say anything of substance.

The Imperial Academy students, who had been clapping and kneeling with him, were also woken up by Wen Xing’s words. If it weren’t for a “muddled ruler,” how could a “powerful official” mislead the nation? This man only dared to curse the official but not the Emperor; he truly didn’t care for the nation, but was merely seeking a reputation for himself. And they had been deluded by his impassioned speech, nearly ruining their own careers!

Seeing Gu Chengping unable to answer, Wen Xing let out a cold scoff. He suddenly felt that wasting words on such a person was a waste of time. He felt he must have been in too high spirits today, or else he wouldn’t have been bored enough to run out here and engage in a verbal battle with a nobody.

Seeing the other had no fighting spirit left, Wen Xing suddenly found it dull. He had risen early today; after a period of energy, he was now feeling listless again.

“The rest is for Lord Ning to handle.” The Sovereign gave a yawn, intending to go back to sleep.

At that moment, the youth on the white horse spurred his mount forward. The sword at his waist clattered against his silver belt, the sound of metal and hooves colliding until he stopped directly in front of Gu Chengping.

Gu Chengping looked up to see Ning Wujie’s peerlessly handsome face looming over him, a pair of icy eyes staring down. He stared back, unwilling to show weakness.

Ning Wujie said coldly: “You said just now that I abused public office.”

Wen Xing raised an eyebrow. Of all the things Gu Chengping had shouted, this stubborn man didn’t care about any of them except the charge of abusing public office? Did he not want to argue against the charge of “fox-like sorcery”? At this thought, Wen Xing couldn’t help but curl his lips into a smile.

If the charge of “defiling the inner palace” could be called baseless rumors, then “abusing public office” was a tangible accusation. Gu Chengping suddenly felt emboldened, his neck stiffening as he glared: “What if I did!”

“Without distinguishing right from wrong, how many officials have you imprisoned? Now in the court, more than half the positions in the Six Ministries are vacant, all because you cover the sky with one hand and abuse your authority!”

No emotion was visible in Ning Wujie’s narrowed eyes. He only said: “It just so happens that this ‘abused authority’ of mine discovered something interesting while investigating. Do you want to hear it?”

Gu Chengping’s face faltered.

“Your grandfather, Gu Hanmiao, was the Prefect of Jinzhou. In just five short years, the land tax in Jinzhou rose from five sheng and three he to over two dou a four-fold increase. Jinzhou was a prosperous land, yet now it is covered in the corpses of those who starved to death.”

At these words, low whispers broke out in the previously quiet scene.

Ning Wujie continued: “Your grandfather, to cooperate with the lords in the capital to fill the treasury’s deficit, levied private taxes and acted with tyrannical extortion. He has been arrested by the Bureau of Investigation and sent to the prison.”

“Your grand performance here today… was it just to draw me here so you could vent your private rage?”

As if his secret had been hit, Gu Chengping’s face darkened instantly, and he could no longer hide his guilt. The onlookers were shocked. So this man, acting all righteous and impeaching a national traitor, actually had a national traitor for a grandfather?

The Emperor let out a chuckle and mocked: “I thought there were truly so many ‘pure stream’ officials who spoke with loyalty; turns out they are all but giant rats.”

Gu Chengping stared at Ning Wujie with venom, flatly denying: “This is slander! My grandfather’s case is not yet finalized, but that you are the greatest villain of this dynasty is beyond doubt! Everyone has the right to kill you!”

Ning Wujie’s scrutinizing gaze swept over the kneeling man. “Indeed, just to curse me a few times wouldn’t warrant such a grand effort. But what if someone promised you something…”

His voice trailed off, causing Gu Chengping’s spine to stiffen. Wen Xing, who had been lazily eating grapes on his palanquin, also turned his gaze over.

Ning Wujie lifted his eyes, looking into the distance. “I guess, because Wang Xuanyi was arrested, someone couldn’t sit still and wanted to make a move on the prison. But fearing I would be on the scene and see through their plan to break out the prisoners, they sent you to distract me, correct?”

“What would you have done if I hadn’t come today?”

As if shocked that his plan had been exposed by Ning Wujie in a few words, Gu Chengping’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t even form a proper rebuttal. “No… you’re talking nonsense!”

Ning Wujie cut him off: “But I think even if it weren’t you today, it would have been someone else. In short, you wouldn’t have let me step out of the palace gates today. Let me guess: the prison is easy to defend but hard to attack; your best method would be ‘making a sound in the east while striking in the west.’ ”

At this point, his sharp gaze swept over the kneeling man, his voice haunting: “Was it arson, or was it poisoning the well?”

Perhaps Ning Wujie’s precision was too shocking. Gu Chengping was dazed for a moment, and appearing to have lost his ability to think, he blurted out: “How would I know—”

Before the words finished, he realized he had spoken out of turn and hurriedly shut his mouth. Wen Xing curled his lips into a mocking smile. These words were no different from a confession. Everyone was stunned. Breaking into the prison was tantamount to rebellion. The Imperial Academy students, who were worried about their careers just now, were now worried about whether they would be considered accomplices and executed along with their clans. They were all terrified, their faces ashen.

Even in hushed tones, the commoners’ whispers continued to spill out: “So bold! Who would dare do such a thing?!” “I told you, no one would throw their life away just to curse someone! It’s all a charade! Hypocrisy!” “Shh… lower your voice! Do you want to lose your head?”

Ning Wujie leaned down and said hauntingly: “Pity you calculated wrong.”

Gu Chengping was struck with horror.

“The prisoner you want to rescue most… has long since been moved out of that prison.”

As if to verify Ning Wujie’s guess, an investigator came galloping from a distance, shouting loudly: “The prison is on fire!”

The man leapt off his horse as he reached the gate and knelt toward the palanquin. “Report to Your Majesty: the prison has been set on fire and attacked. Fortunately, the Bureau was prepared; the prisoners had been moved, and the attackers failed, though the barracks were severely damaged.”

Wen Xing: “Were the attackers caught?”

The investigator lowered his head. “A few were caught and are already in custody.”

Wen Xing squinted at Gu Chengping, whose expression was now one of total defeat. He issued a cold decree: “Take this man into custody.”

Two Jinwu Guards stepped forward to arrest him. But at that moment, Gu Chengping’s face changed. A sharp light flashed in his eyes, and his lips curled into a sinister smile. Because the two guards were close enough, they vaguely heard an extremely faint sizzling sound from Gu Chengping’s person. Before they understood what it was, Gu Chengping hissed: “Ning Wujie, let’s die together!”

Ning Wujie’s face froze. Simultaneously, his horse seemed to sense something; it let out a neigh, and its front hooves suddenly reared up.

“BOOM—”

Suddenly, a deafening explosion echoed through the open square of the Meridian Gate, resonating through the heavens. A blinding light centered on Gu Chengping instantly engulfed a radius of several yards, swallowing the figures of Ning Wujie and the two guards.

Everyone stood dazed; the explosion was too sudden for anyone to react. “Protect the Sovereign!” someone shouted.

In the instant the explosion tore through his eardrums, Wen Xing saw Ning Wujie’s white horse leaping up, its long neck tensed into a silver arc. The youth’s flying black hair was rimmed with gold in the firelight. Then the figures were erased by the intense light.

Wen Xing’s breathing stopped. Only rolling thick smoke remained in his vision.

“Ning Wujie!”

The sharp ringing in his ears drowned out his own voice. His head was buzzing from that thunderous roar. Was he dead? Such a massive explosion, and so fast there was no time to react. If Ning Wujie is dead, what should I do? Is the new dynasty three years from now just going to vanish?

Just as he felt a bone-chilling cold, he suddenly heard a high-pitched neigh from a horse. The smoke was sliced open like by a blade. A figure on horseback charged out of the smoke like lightning, the hem of his Yesa robes singed with flames. The horse was covered in dripping blood from its neck to its belly, treading a path of vivid red as it galloped toward the Emperor’s palanquin.

After seeing the figure on the horse clearly, Wen Xing’s fingers, which had unconsciously gripped the seat, suddenly loosened. Only then did he remember to breathe. Good, he’s alive.

He let out a sigh of relief, and only then did he feel sharp, stabbing pains in his chest that had apparently been continuing for some time. He clutched his palm over his heart, his lip turning deathly pale. His vision grew more and more blurred. In the haze, he saw the horse neighing as it collapsed before him, and a youthful silhouette leapt onto the palanquin in a single stride.

“Bring the medicine!”

In the midst of the noisy and chaotic turmoil, he only vaguely heard this angry roar before he slumped over, falling into a firm set of arms. His vision was completely swallowed by darkness.