Transmigrated as the Doomed Scumbag Alpha of the Eldest Princess - Chapter 52

“How can you be so sure that the one I love is Feng Yao, and not you?”

Mowan Ci asked softly, leaning into Jiang Si’s arms. The scent of amber incense grew stronger around her. Her breath quickened, and her cheeks began to flush.

Jiang Si, caught off guard, couldn’t help but feel irritated. She held Mowan Ci’s slender waist tighter and asked, “And what makes you think you even look like someone in love with me?”

Mowan Ci didn’t reply. She simply tilted her head slightly to look at her. Her eyes were dim, like mist covering a layer of frost.

Jiang Si suddenly felt uneasy. A sharp pain shot through her head, so intense she couldn’t lift it.

Mowan Ci had been watching her closely the whole time. When she saw this, she gently placed her hand on Jiang Si’s head.

“Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.

She didn’t answer Jiang Si’s earlier question but instead showed genuine concern.

She even lifted both hands and gently massaged her scalp.

Jiang Si almost closed her eyes, but some part of her remained alert. Surrounded by the effects of the incense and Mowan Ci’s deliberate tenderness, the moment felt too unreal.

She grabbed Mowan Ci’s hands and asked urgently, “Is this how you show love?”

“No. This is only what I should do.”

“As the concubine of the Marquis of Jiajing, it is my duty to do this.”

Jiang Si seemed to listen calmly. She brought Mowan Ci’s hand to her lips and kissed it lightly before asking, “Has Your Highness ever considered becoming the Marchioness of Jiajing?”

Mowan Ci froze. She was briefly at a loss for words. Her hand, held tightly in Jiang Si’s, instinctively tried to pull away.

But Jiang Si didn’t let go. She pulled Mowan Ci closer, placing her arm on her lap and leaning in with a teasing smile.

“Why won’t you answer, Princess?”

“If I could be your wife, then why am I only your concubine?”

Jiang Si understood the sorrow behind her words.

It was no longer a battle of wit or pride. Mowan Ci’s grievance cut straight to the heart.

The illusion of having the upper hand was just that, an illusion. The harm the original Jiang Si had done was not something that could be undone so easily.

No matter how many times she tried to explain, it would never be enough.

She felt all strength leave her body and released Mowan Ci’s hand, allowing her to sit back.

Lowering her head like a child who had done something wrong, she asked quietly, “Does Your Highness want to eat spicy boiled pork slices? Once I leave for the campaign, it might be a long time before I can eat it again.”

“Yes,” Mowan Ci answered immediately, her earlier frustration melting away.

She was never one to back down when Jiang Si challenged her, but if Jiang Si showed vulnerability, she would also respond with warmth.

Jiang Si had sent all the kitchen staff away. It was just the two of them now. As she coated the pork in batter, she turned to Mowan Ci and asked, “Would you like to try?”

Mowan Ci was curious but also a little hesitant. If the batter got on her clothes…

But Jiang Si didn’t give her time to think. She pulled her over and placed chopsticks in her hand.

“Here. Try it like this.”

Their hands overlapped, her back resting lightly against Jiang Si’s chest.

Mowan Ci was a little stiff, turning slightly to glance at her. Jiang Si, however, was fully focused, worried that the pork might fall and go to waste.

Even though Mowan Ci was holding the chopsticks, the force came from Jiang Si.

“After I leave, if you want to eat this again, you can make it yourself. If not, you can ask Zhi Miao to do it.”

“I’ll have you season it too. It’s easy.”

When her food-loving side took over, Jiang Si was completely immersed. She didn’t notice how long Mowan Ci had been quietly watching her.

It wasn’t until the pork was nearly done that Jiang Si realized how close they were standing.

She took a step back and was just about to let go when Mowan Ci suddenly tugged on her collar and kissed the corner of her mouth.

Jiang Si turned, trying to look at her, but Mowan Ci spoke first.

“If things between us had started differently, do you think it would have ended another way?”

“It would have…” Jiang Si opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words. After a pause, she gave the only honest answer she could. “I don’t know.”

Mowan Ci gave a faint smile, then turned away. She deliberately ignored the lingering scent of amber incense in the air.

“Is the meat ready? We can light the stove now.”

“Alright,” Jiang Si replied without hesitation. She let go and walked over to start the fire.

Mowan Ci watched her and casually asked, “When did you learn how to start a fire? No one would believe it if they heard.”

“I saw it enough times. Eventually, I just picked it up.”

Jiang Si placed thin firewood under the stove and quickly got the flame going. She began cooking right away.

Her movements were smooth and practiced. Mowan Ci didn’t take her eyes off her once. Within half an hour, Jiang Si had prepared several delicious dishes.

They ate in the lakeside pavilion. Neither spoke during the meal, observing the old custom of silence while eating and sleeping.

Afterward, Mowan Ci reached out to clear the dishes, but Jiang Si stepped in, joking as she took them away.

“How could Her Highness the Princess do such chores?”

“If the Marquis of Jiajing can cook, then why can’t I wash dishes?”

Her words were confident, but her hands were clearly not used to this kind of work. She fumbled with the dishes until Jiang Si came to help her.

The northern climate was cold, and the water was freezing. Jiang Si couldn’t bear to let her touch cold water, so she heated some and waited.

Still, neither of them said much. Only while washing the dishes did Mowan Ci finally speak again.

“There’s enough incense tonight. You don’t need to stay.”

Jiang Si paused. Her chest felt a little tight, but she still agreed softly.

“Alright. I’ll go rest in a bit.”

Mowan Ci didn’t reply. Not until they were parting did she say, “You’re setting out tomorrow. May I come see you off?”

Outside, snow had started to fall again without them noticing. It blended with the white cloak Mowan Ci wore.

As Jiang Si looked at her, a faint sense of reluctance rose in her chest.

So faint, she almost ignored it.

She also found herself thinking about the question Mowan Ci had asked earlier.

“If things between us had started differently, what would have happened?”

Their beginning…

What counted as the beginning?

The moment she arrived in this world and inherited everything the original Jiang Si had left behind, that was the beginning.

Unless she could stay here forever, never force Mowan Ci into the role of concubine, never become a thorn in Mu Zesheng’s side, and never be born into a time of chaos.

Maybe then, as the military marquis, she could ask to marry the princess and become the imperial son-in-law.

Mowan Ci could become the wife of a distant borderland marquis.

“Mowan Ci, would you give everything up?”

“Would you give up your title as Princess of Shao Yuan, give up your royal status as a member of the Mu family, and give up your younger brother?”

Jiang Si held her hand tightly, eyes fixed on her with intensity.

But inside, Mowan Ci felt a deep ache. So this is how Jiang Si saw her.

It made sense. Their identities had always been in conflict. Their beginning was never fair. That was everything between them.

There was no point saying more, but Mowan Ci still asked, “If I give it all up, would you be willing to give up everything too?”

“Would you leave with me, stay far from conflict, and live in peace?”

Jiang Si did not reply. The silence was heavy, and the light in her eyes faded.

That silence made Mowan Ci a little bolder. She leaned in closer, raised her head to look at her, and said firmly, “You’re afraid of me.”

“Jiang Si, you’re afraid of me.”

Dinner had already passed, but the red color on Mowan Ci’s lips was still vivid, like blood.

For no reason, Jiang Si suddenly recalled the pain from the stab wound on the back of her neck.

Even if she didn’t want to admit it, it was true.

She was afraid of Mowan Ci.

Not afraid of the person herself, but afraid that once she was close to her, she would stop being who she was.

Mowan Ci gave a self-mocking smile. Snow fell in the courtyard, but she didn’t care. She walked ahead alone and stretched out her arms toward the sky.

With her back to Jiang Si, she said softly, “You’re afraid of me. That’s why you won’t take a single step forward unless you are absolutely sure.”

“You’re anxious, full of doubt, always testing me.”

“But Jiang Si, don’t you see? I’m the same.”

Mowan Ci returned to her room. Jiang Si stood alone in the snow for a long time before she finally turned and walked back to the northern wing.

After bathing and changing, she lay on the bed and couldn’t sleep for a long time.

Mowan Ci’s words kept replaying in her mind. They made her confront the truth about herself.

She really was afraid.

And yet she still wanted to get close. The closer she got, the more fearful she became. In the end, all that remained was suspicion and hesitation.

Jiang Si hated this side of herself, but she couldn’t change it.

From the moment she arrived in this world, everything around her had been filled with danger. Every step forward had come at great cost. Now that the war with the Rongdi was nearly settled, how could she let herself take a risk just for personal feelings?

Today, Mowan Ci had been honest with her. But she hadn’t done the same.

Because Mowan Ci was right. She was afraid. Selfish, suspicious, and afraid. That was the truth.

The sky was already growing light when Jiang Si finally fell into a deep sleep.

In her dream, she was in the snow lotus pond, freely and fearlessly picking lotus flowers. Mowan Ci sat waiting for her on a swing at the edge of the water. When she looked up, she smiled like a blooming flower.

“Marquis, it’s the hour of the dragon. Time to depart.”

A voice spoke beside her, and Jiang Si woke with a start.

It wasn’t Sang Zhi who had woken her this time, but Su Xun.

She was already in full armor, waiting for Jiang Si.

Jiang Si didn’t hesitate. She got up at once, quickly washed, and left the marquis manor with Su Xun. Together, they headed for the city walls of Lingchuan.

Fifty thousand soldiers of the Jingyuan Army were already waiting in Qinglong Ravine. On top of the city walls stood all the commanders and generals.

Flags waved. Drums pounded. Citizens crowded along the edges of the wall, watching the army prepare to march.

Jiang Si mounted her horse and finally caught sight of Mowan Ci. She was dressed more elegantly than usual.

In her hands, she held a bottle of wine Jiang Si had never seen before.

“This wine was brought from Changjian. Every time there is an important celebration, I drink a cup. Today, I offer it to you, Marquis.”

“May your banners fly victorious. Come back safely.”

Mowan Ci’s words and actions were unlike before. She smiled with grace and composure.

She poured the wine herself and placed the cup into Jiang Si’s hands.

“Take care on the road.”

Her voice was steadier than it had been when Jiang Si last went to war with the Rongdi. Jiang Si accepted the wine and drank it all in one motion.

She smiled and said simply, “Wait for me.”

The Jingyuan Army was lined up and ready. Su Xun led the front line. Jiang Si and Lan Shao followed behind.

Last to depart was the division assigned to Feng Yao.

When Feng Yao reached Mowan Ci, a flash of jealousy appeared in his eyes. He went so far as to dismount in front of the crowd and stood directly before her.

The cheers from the crowd were deafening. No one at the front could hear what was happening behind them. But somehow, Jiang Si seemed to sense something. She turned to look back at Mowan Ci.

And at Feng Yao standing beside her.

It was only a glance. Jiang Si quickly turned back around, her expression calm and composed.

Mowan Ci and Feng Yao both noticed.

Feng Yao didn’t seem to care. In fact, he spoke up boldly.

“I broke off my engagement and went north for one reason only—Your Highness.”

Mowan Ci heard him clearly. She gave a faint smile, but her gaze never once settled on Feng Yao. She asked calmly, “I am now the concubine of the Marquis of Jiajing. What exactly can you do about that, General Feng?”

“Join the expedition and take the chance to silence me?”

“I just want to…” Feng Yao was confused by her words and frowned, trying to explain. But Mowan Ci didn’t give him the chance.

She continued on her own, speaking steadily.

“I belong to the Marquis of Jiajing. You would do well, General Feng, to remember your place.”

“And besides, you and I severed all ties ten years ago. There is no need for this.”

“Little Jiang is just a coward~~”

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