Transmigrated as Jane’s Ghostly Godmother - Chapter 10

Chapter 10: I Have the Free Will of a Human—All I Wanted Was for You to Say…

Since she was a child, Eleanor had always been the “good girl” her family was proud of. She was cheerful, friendly, and always smiling, never refusing anyone’s request. Everyone liked her.

But as she grew older, she began to tire of it. She tired of the fact that every time she smiled, people assumed she would accept whatever arrangement was made for her. She tried to refuse, but whenever she did, people would gasp and say, “Lina, what’s wrong with you?” They looked at her as if she were a stranger, with eyes that frightened her. In the end, she would always take it back, claiming she was “just joking.”

She sometimes wondered if she would ever meet someone who respected her thoughts—someone who wouldn’t change their expression just because she said no. She vowed she would become friends with such a person.

She waited and waited, but the days flowed by like water. Her smiles became numb, and she almost forgot her wish. Then, at Whirlwood—a school she hadn’t been able to bring herself to refuse attending—a plainly dressed girl became her new roommate.

When Jane Eyre, who clearly didn’t fit in, was belittled by Beatrice, Eleanor couldn’t help but speak up. It was her usual roundabout way of resisting, but it felt much better than staying silent. She wasn’t a brave person, but for some reason, in that stifling classroom atmosphere, she spoke to Jane.

Some cast strange looks at her, but most were the knowing glances of those used to drinking from her “well of kindness.” Soft-hearted Eleanor—she knew that was how people judged her.

“Thank you for speaking up for me these past few days. Can we be friends?”

At the end of that day, she woke up to find a note under her pillow. It wasn’t signed, but Eleanor thought she knew who wrote it. Since she could never refuse a request, she began talking to Jane more frequently.

However, Jane would respond in the dormitory but became cold in the classroom. At first, Eleanor found it strange. Then, after being ignored by Jane again, a frustrated Eleanor reflexively refused someone else’s request. She moved to apologize, but the other person was surprisingly understanding.

“It’s okay. You’ve been having a hard time lately, looking after that aloof and cold Jane.”

“No…” Jane isn’t cold. But before she could finish, the person left.

Unwilling to use Jane as an excuse, Eleanor turned her head in frustration, only to catch Jane looking at her. It was then Eleanor realized that while Jane ignored her publicly, her eyes always sparkled when she looked at her. Jane would borrow notes and return them with heartfelt letters of thanks tucked inside; she wouldn’t eat with her, but she would leave Eleanor’s favorite snacks silently on her desk in the dorm. Jane always scanned the room to ensure no one was watching before speaking to her briefly and quickly.

Don’t private actions prove one’s heart better than public ones? Jane wants to be friends. She’s just shy. That was the conclusion Eleanor reached.

But after seeing Jane’s argument with Beatrice, Eleanor realized Jane wasn’t the timid mouse she had imagined. Does this mean I’ve been forcing this friendship against her will all along? She couldn’t understand it, and she felt a bit angry. She chased after Jane to demand an explanation.

She never expected it to be a complete misunderstanding—that the note asking for friendship wasn’t written by Jane at all. Indeed, she had noticed long ago that the handwriting wasn’t Jane’s.

“If it weren’t for that note, I wouldn’t have bothered with you! You’re always so cold!” In her shame and annoyance, Eleanor blurted out words she didn’t truly mean.

Jane fell silent, her expression shifting. Eleanor covered her mouth, regretting her words but also wondering if the sadness she saw in Jane was just another of her own imaginings.

But Jane’s sadness lacked the familiar disappointment or confusion Eleanor usually saw. Jane simply nodded. She said, “It should be that way! Eleanor, you should never do anything against your own heart.”

Looking at Jane, Eleanor suddenly remembered her true wish: to find someone who respected her will. And now, she had finally found her.

Lin Zhao didn’t know why Jane insisted on not being friends with Eleanor. Jane couldn’t possibly hate someone who interacted with her with genuine sincerity. But now that her little trick had been exposed, Lin Zhao had to admit she was likely the cause of the friction.

She sighed and phased through the wall, standing behind Eleanor to meet Jane’s eyes. She threw Jane’s own words back at her: “Then why won’t you follow your own heart and be friends with Eleanor?”

The moment Jane saw her, her face changed. She tried to bid Eleanor a hasty goodbye. But Eleanor wasn’t having it; she grabbed Jane’s hand, her eyes red as she spoke after a long silence.

“No, you have to explain yourself, Jane. Do you hate me?”

“No, of course not,” Jane denied quickly. She paused, then added, “I just hate being forced to do things, even if it’s ‘for my own good’.”

Standing to the side, Lin Zhao didn’t miss the sharp glance Jane shot her way. She was stunned to hear Jane’s true thoughts expressed so bluntly.

Eleanor, oblivious to the “ghostly” layer of the conversation, pulled her lips down further. “Who forced you? Or do you just not want the tutoring?”

Jane glanced at Lin Zhao again. “No, I am very grateful for the tutoring. After all, if I don’t get good grades, you won’t see me next year.”

“What…?” Eleanor gasped.

Lin Zhao couldn’t help but sigh. If you can tell Eleanor things like that, how can you say you don’t want to be friends? She realized now that Jane’s attitude change was directed entirely at her. Jane was fine with Eleanor, but she wanted to run the second Lin Zhao appeared.

“Jane, I don’t know what you’ve misunderstood, but I was wrong. Talk things out with Eleanor first, and then we’ll have a proper chat later, okay?”

Jane observed both their reactions. Touched by something, she bit her lip and finally nodded. “Okay…”

“Okay what?” Eleanor was frantic, wanting to chase every word.

“I mean… though I didn’t write the note… but… I want to be your friend! It has nothing to do with what is ‘suitable,’ it’s because I want to!” Jane spoke slowly, her voice trembling on the last few words, her enunciation so precise it sounded almost foreign. “And I hope you are my friend because of your own heart, not because you think I’m pitiful or anything…”

“I promise you… as I promised before. I want to be your friend!” Eleanor said after a long silence, her cheeks puffed out. “But this time, don’t you dare turn around and pretend you don’t know me! That is not what a proper friend does!”

Eleanor pulled her into a tight, firm embrace.

Congratulations, mission accomplished, Lin Zhao thought with a smile. She almost wanted to applaud.

But as Jane looked at her over Eleanor’s shoulder, her expression turned complicated again, echoing the emotions from the day she ran away from the Headmistress’s office.

Eleanor wanted to keep talking, but Jane shook her head, saying Mrs. Miller would come looking for them if they stayed out longer. She urged Eleanor to go back first.

“What about you?” Eleanor asked worriedly. “I don’t want to lie to you, but I have something I must attend to. Go on, Lina.” Seeing Jane’s serious face, Eleanor didn’t press further and left, looking back every few steps.

Once they were alone, Lin Zhao spoke first, apologizing sincerely. “I am very sorry. I shouldn’t have hidden the fact that I gave Eleanor that note.”

Jane’s brow furrowed deeply. This event had truly angered her. She hadn’t expected that even after ignoring Lin Zhao’s words, the ghost would go ahead and do something so intrusive.

“You shouldn’t have! If you had any concern for my thoughts at all! But you just blindly execute your so-called ‘schedule’—which I can’t even read!” She crossed her arms, accusing her coldly. Looking at Lin Zhao’s previous smile made Jane feel even worse. “I don’t understand. What am I to you? A person without her own thoughts, who needs someone else to decide everything?”

“You treat me like a child who needs constant protection. How is that different from those who think I’m too coarse to associate with? Just because ‘this will make me happy,’ are you allowed to strip away my free will as a human?”

Lin Zhao tried to explain: “No… it was to prevent a worse situation. There are things you don’t understand yet…”

Jane interrupted her without hesitation. “By that logic, you are just a ghost. You don’t understand human feelings at all!”

Lin Zhao was speechless. She instinctively wanted to say that she was a living person before ending up here. But Jane’s expression was too earnest, and she finally understood where the resentment came from.

Since arriving, she had been over-managing. Perhaps because she successfully bypassed Lowood, she had become overconfident, trying to intervene in everything based on a “best-case scenario” that only she knew, regardless of Jane’s feelings. She focused on efficiency and results while completely ignoring Jane’s autonomy. It was the opposite of her original intention.

“…Besides the note, what else have you done?” Moved by the genuine guilt on Lin Zhao’s face, Jane’s tone softened. “You disappear sometimes.”

“I… put some ‘little things’ in the books of the students who were targeting you,” Lin Zhao confessed honestly. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand seeing them bully you. I knew it made you uncomfortable.”

While experimenting with her changing state, Lin Zhao had caught students trying to mess with Jane’s things. Since Jane was ignoring her, she had taken matters into her own hands, returning their “pranks” in kind.

Jane blinked, her brow relaxing. She finally understood what the “unless” was. Unless Lin Zhao could prove she wasn’t just a cold-blooded ghost from a storybook, but could understand what Jane cared about—to speak, even if she did nothing.

“Well… thank you for that. But from now on, you must tell me before you do anything involving me. I don’t want to be kept in the dark.” The little girl puffed her cheeks in mock annoyance, but her eyes were bright. “…Now, are you going to tell me about this schedule? I’m quite uneasy about it too.”

Lin Zhao’s eyes lit up. She reached into her pocket to pull out the paper. But before she could show it, the paper slipped through her palm and fluttered to the ground.

Jane’s face paled in shock as she stared at Lin Zhao’s hand, which had become translucent.

“What is happening?”