To Treat Each Other Like Brothers - Chapter 14

Xie Shiyao was startled by the bold and presumptuous movement. He steadied himself by grabbing the stair railing and turned around quickly. “Who gave you the nerve to?”

He stared intensely into Lin Zhuyi’s eyes, trying to find evidence that the boy was acting again. Then, Xie Shiyao froze in place. The look in Lin Zhuyi’s eyes pierced deeply into his heart. It was a look he had never seen from Lin Zhuyi before. His eyes were full of grievance, helplessness, complaint, and trepidation, yet they were profoundly sad.

Lin Zhuyi avoided Xie Shiyao’s gaze and buried his head in the crook of Xie Shiyao’s neck. “Now, do you not even want to eat a meal with me? Has your anger not faded even after two months?”

His voice began to sound muffled. “Have I not already followed all your wishes? I have been very good during these two months. I have been good every single day. Brother, please do not discard me.”

Lin Zhuyi held him tighter and tighter.

Coincidentally, a strong gust of wind rushed through the window. Lin Zhuyi’s black hair blew in the wind, brushing against the back of Xie Shiyao’s neck and making it feel incredibly itchy.

For the first time, Xie Shiyao was pushed to such a point of confusion by Lin Zhuyi that he did not even know where to look. His hands hovered in mid air, dropped, and hovered again. He struggled to recover his senses in his dazed state. “What exactly do you want to get from me?”

Lin Zhuyi replied, “I want you to truly treat me as your brother. I want a brother, and I want a home.”

A home.

Who needs a thing like that?

The corners of Xie Shiyao’s eyes turned slightly red, and he instinctively raised a hand to touch his nose.

Who needs a thing like that?

“Lin Zhuyi, let go of me.”

Lin Zhuyi’s long arms tightened around Xie Shiyao’s waist. He kept his head buried and refused to let go. Outside the window, the afterglow of the setting sun spilled over him. Along with the cold wind, the light made the white gauze curtains swell and sway incessantly. Shadows of light like ocean waves flickered violently across his body and face. In the end, Xie Shiyao simply lowered his head, let out a sigh, and lightly patted the back of Lin Zhuyi’s hand.

“Let go. You are holding too tight. I cannot breathe.”

Lin Zhuyi looked up hesitantly. “You are lying.”

“It is too cold. Go and close the window,” Xie Shiyao said.

Seeing that Lin Zhuyi still did not move, Xie Shiyao had to push him away. A hint of uncharacteristic urgency hid in his voice. “Go, quickly.”

That rare tone acted like a reassurance. Lin Zhuyi finally let go completely and took a step back. “Then, Brother, you are not allowed to leave.”

Lin Zhuyi walked down the stairs to close the window. However, when Lin Zhuyi turned back to look for Xie Shiyao on the stairs, the spot was already empty. There were only the white gauze curtains, which were no longer swaying, and the fading afterglow of the setting sun outside.

Standing with his back to the light, Lin Zhuyi stared blankly at his palm and smiled numbly. “Xie Shiyao, you must have had a very hard time these past two months, just like me. Otherwise, why did a moment of softness that should not exist for me clearly appear in your eyes? Why?”

Xie Shiyao felt that he needed to be alone for a while. He did not intend to leave; instead, he returned to his own room. He locked the door and sat on the edge of the bed for a long long time.

As if someone had calculated exactly when he would return, a plate of exquisitely arranged fruit had been placed on the nightstand as usual. Xie Shiyao took off the decorative ring on his index finger, picked up a tangerine, and began to peel it absentmindedly. His thumb sank into the fruit instinctively. The juice ran down his palm, through his fingers, and over his wrist, eventually dripping onto the floor in a small circle.

His dazed face was reflected in that small puddle. He could not help but think of the terrifying look in Lin Zhuyi’s eyes when the boy hugged him. In that gaze, there was no calculation, no madness, and none of the things he had been familiar with and hated for ten years. How could Lin Zhuyi look at him like that? How could he?

Xie Shiyao tore the tangerine apart piece by piece and put them into his mouth. Childhood memories were swallowed along with those sour slices of fruit. He remembered that it was roughly the third year after Lin Zhuyi had moved in. He was in middle school at a new school and had made many friends. He was surrounded by people who admired him every day.

Lin Zhuyi seemed very dissatisfied. Not only did he follow Xie Shiyao from time to time, but he also constantly gave reports to Xie Shiyao’s father. He claimed that Xie Shiyao was gay and was wasting money to chase other boys. When Xie Shiyao found out, he was naturally furious. For reasons he did not care to recall, his sexual orientation had indeed awakened at a very young age. He had always thought he had hidden it well.

Therefore, when the secret was personally exposed by Lin Zhuyi, Xie Shiyao felt his head throb with anger. He chose a time when his father was not home and burst into Lin Zhuyi’s room to teach him a lesson. What Xie Shiyao did not expect was that the young Lin Zhuyi had already installed several cameras at different angles in the room.

Lin Zhuyi captured a specific segment of the recording. The angle was carefully chosen. By chance, it caught Xie Shiyao grabbing Lin Zhuyi by the neck and saying a few words.

“You look down on gay people, do you? Then do you want to try it with your brother? Perhaps after you try it, you will never be able to leave for the rest of your life. One bad seed corrupting another bad seed sounds quite thrilling, does it not?”

Lin Zhuyi made two copies of that recording after cutting out the context. He posted one anonymously on the school forum with an exaggerated title. He handed the other copy directly to Xie Shiyao’s father. Because the video was filmed from a high angle, it looked as though Xie Shiyao was pinning someone to the floor and acting like a predator.

The matter escalated quickly and had a terrible impact. Many parents called the education bureau to complain. Unable to withstand the pressure, the school expelled Xie Shiyao.

Xie Shiyao did not care about being expelled. He could just transfer schools. He also did not care about the fingers being pointed at him after his privacy was exposed. As long as he did not feel ashamed, no one could hurt him. However, the day he was expelled was the beginning of the loss of his father. It was the start of a long period of being misunderstood, being a disappointment, and being hated and exiled by his father. By the time his father passed away, they never had the chance to truly talk again.

The juice of the tangerine, full of mixed emotions, burst in his mouth. Xie Shiyao winced at the sourness. His childhood hatred was so vivid that it was difficult for him to believe Lin Zhuyi could show him such an expression. What did this mean? Amnesia can be faked and tears can be faked, but how can such a look be fabricated?

He looks at me as if everything was my fault from the very beginning.

Xie Shiyao sat on the edge of the bed and sighed deeply. The snow outside showed no sign of stopping. He went out to the balcony, leaned against the railing, and smoked two cigarettes. He quietly watched the neighbor’s child building a snowman with their parents at the front gate. The snowman was so ugly that it did not even look human. After watching for a while, Xie Shiyao let out a sudden laugh at how hideous it was. It was terribly ugly, yet the child’s parents clapped and praised how beautiful it was. It was so stupid.

That night, while tossing and turning, Xie Shiyao thought of that snowman and made a decision. Now that he was older, he was no longer the hot headed youth he used to be. The person had been confined and he had vented his anger, so there was no need to use past events to take his frustration out on Lin Zhuyi in such a childish way. Lin Zhuyi was only three months away from being an adult. He would let the boy stay in the mansion until then. After that, they would let each other go.

After ten years of entanglement and two months of a cold war, he did not want to forgive easily. However, he was afraid and tired. He was afraid that on some drunken night, he might be provoked by uncontrolled adrenaline and emotion into making an irreversible mistake with Lin Zhuyi. He was also weary of having his scars torn open again during their games of offense and defense.

Having lived with Lin Zhuyi until now, he saw clearly that the boy could not accept anyone else appearing by his side. So, for the remaining time, he would focus his heart. He would work hard during the day and act out a scene of brotherly harmony at night. He would pretend to have a home. It would be a home that neither he nor Lin Zhuyi had ever truly possessed.

From the moment he woke up the next day, Xie Shiyao secretly began his plan for brotherly harmony. He intentionally reduced his encounters with Lin Zhuyi. Aside from seeing a psychiatrist, going to driving school, and getting brain checkups, he also found a professor from a top university. He arranged for Lin Zhuyi to assist the professor in private and audit classes. Even if they went their separate ways in the future, this would be a path left for the boy.

He also set aside approximately seven hundred thousand dollars and transferred it to an American account in installments. In case Lin Zhuyi decided to study abroad one day, this money would be a parting gift for letting him go. Since he was acting, he had to do it properly. Even if it was just a performance, he had to show the sincerity of an older brother.

Lin Zhuyi also became more obedient than before. They spent an unprecedented period of peace. When Xie Shiyao came home, they would eat dinner together and watch television for a while.

One day, when Xie Shiyao arrived home, Lin Zhuyi was watching a movie. Xie Shiyao was not hungry, so he sat next to him. He endured the scent constantly wafting from the person beside him as they sat side by side watching a movie that neither of them was truly focused on.

As the movie progressed, the main characters played a drinking game. After a round of competition, they finally won. Everyone clapped and laughed loudly. Seeing the people on television laughing, Lin Zhuyi also forced a smile, as if he were performing a clumsy imitation. Xie Shiyao used his peripheral vision to secretly observe Lin Zhuyi in his most natural state.

He was occasionally curious. During the past four years, in the distorted world that was half silent behind his hearing aid, what kind of sound had the parts concerning Xie Shiyao been translated into?

The movie continued, and the main characters won a few more games, catching their opponents off guard. The losers had to drink, but they had consumed so much that they truly could not drink any more. The room was filled with the sounds of their pleas.

“Let us call a truce.”

That line made Xie Shiyao freeze. He could not help but turn his head to look at Lin Zhuyi. His gaze gradually became serious, as if he were using that line to ask Lin Zhuyi a question through his naturally misty eyes.

Is it possible? Can we also have a truce?

Lin Zhuyi sensed Xie Shiyao’s gaze, and his eyes filled with sadness. It was as if he understood everything. However, they said nothing.

In their unspoken understanding, nearly two months passed quickly. During this time, Xie Shiyao rejected almost all social activities except for going to work or attending necessary business dinners. If he suffered from insomnia, he took three times the usual dose of sleeping pills.

The snowman at the villa entrance had melted, and a spring rain began to fall. It grew heavier, washing the roads clean. On that night of torrential rain, Xie Shiyao, who was on the verge of a breakdown from insomnia, received a call from Gu Jinsheng.

“Shiyao, what has been wrong with you lately? You never come out when I call. Come out and have a drink with me. I have something to tell you. Also, your little friend Xiao Bai is going crazy because he cannot find you. Do you want to see him?”

Because he could not sleep, Xie Shiyao’s voice was even raspier than usual. “I have taken sleeping pills. I cannot drink.”

Gu Jinsheng said, “That is fine. I want you to help me check on someone I just met. I happen to be near your house. Should I drive over to pick you up?”

Suddenly, someone grabbed the phone from Gu Jinsheng. It was Bai Ye. Bai Ye was clearly drunk and had stopped using his high pitched act. He shouted loudly, “Brother Xie, I am so sad because you are ignoring me. We are classmates, so do not care too much about what happened last time. I am already in a relationship. Oh, and Gu and I are going to sing later. The celebrities coming are almost all your type. Come on, let us have some fun.”

Xie Shiyao’s head throbbed from the loud voice. “Where are you going?”

Bai Ye said, “You have not contacted me for so long that you probably do not know. I opened a club. Quickly, get dressed. We are on our way to pick you up. I guarantee you will be satisfied tonight. I may not know you well, but Gu surely does.”

Gu Jinsheng certainly knew him better than Bai Ye did. Xie Shiyao had no reply. He could tell that Bai Ye had already finished at least one round of drinks. He was not surprised that Bai Ye had found a boyfriend, and he felt quite respectful of that. After nearly three months of self imposed isolation and the added pressure of insomnia, Xie Shiyao truly wanted to breathe some long lost oxygen.

Just as Gu Jinsheng’s Lamborghini Urus pulled up to the gate of the mansion, lightning flashed in the sky. The rain poured onto the road like a waterfall. Xie Shiyao had dark circles under his eyes. He wore a tailored high end suit that accentuated his waist. He held an umbrella and checked his watch while smoking.

The Lamborghini Urus braked sharply and the window rolled down. Gu Jinsheng was wearing shiny earrings. “You look quite handsome.”

Xie Shiyao tossed his cigarette into the rain and stepped forward with his long legs. “I am doing alright.”

His pant legs were dampened by the rain. As he walked toward the car, he suddenly felt an oppressive gaze directed straight at him from the second floor of the mansion. He looked up at the window of Lin Zhuyi’s room. The person was holding a phone and staring at him.

At the same time, Xie Shiyao’s phone rang. Because he had decided on a truce, he had removed Lin Zhuyi’s number from his blacklist. The person calling him was indeed Lin Zhuyi.

Xie Shiyao looked at Lin Zhuyi through the window. As soon as he answered, Lin Zhuyi’s voice came through with an air of pressure. “Will you still come back after you get into that car?”

The rain pattered against the umbrella. Xie Shiyao gripped his phone tightly. “What does that have to do with you?”

“How could it have nothing to do with me?” Lin Zhuyi said. “Brother has waited this long just to discard me in the most decent way possible, has he not?”

Xie Shiyao’s heart skipped a beat.

“Well, what can I say?” Lin Zhuyi’s voice carried no emotion. “Every single time, your choices always happen to include the option of discarding me.”

Just then, a bolt of lightning struck, illuminating Lin Zhuyi’s face in the window. Xie Shiyao seemed to see tears flowing down that face. However, he was sure it was an illusion. He must have mistaken the shadows of the raindrops on the window for crocodile tears.

Gu Jinsheng was a bit confused inside the car. “What is wrong? Why are you not getting in?”

Xie Shiyao had a headache. Before he could think of an explanation, the light in Lin Zhuyi’s room went out. He felt that something was wrong. Based on his knowledge of Lin Zhuyi, something indecent was about to happen. He gestured to Gu Jinsheng to drive to the intersection and wait for him there.

As soon as the car drove away, the front door of the mansion was pushed open from the inside. The moment he saw the person standing there, Xie Shiyao’s hand holding the umbrella trembled.