To the One Who's Only Cold to Me - Chapter 109

A hotter-than-usual cup of tea, as if considering the weather, was placed on the table. Aisha stared at the steam rising from the tea poured by the maid, then spotted a towel in the corner of the table that the butler had discreetly left, and slightly frowned.

Unlike him who came by carriage, Ian, who had ridden a horse, looked a mess at a glance. His pants, already dirty from kneeling in the imperial garden, were further ruined by rain and mud. Though his coat kept his top from getting wet, it was wrinkled in several places.

“Here. You should wipe off a little.”

After hesitating for a moment, Aisha handed Ian a white towel that was fluffy and dry. Ian, sitting with wet blond hair dripping water, flinched when he saw the towel held out to him, and the equally white hand holding it.

“Thank you.”

A faint light returned to Ian’s dull blue eyes. Aisha watched him wipe his wet hair and face, then turned her eyes to her teacup.

‘Don’t worry about pointless things. It’s not like there’s anything between us, and nothing bad happened because of you.’

‘For the reasons I already told you, I’m keeping my distance. So don’t come looking for me like this again, and don’t expect anything from me.’

‘From now on, act properly and be more polite. Your manners are terrible. Ian? That name’s way too familiar, don’t you think?’

The crimson tea, steaming silently, was the same kind she had been served when she visited the Marquis Lloyd’s house right after Ian returned from his travels. Of course, she hadn’t taken a single sip that day, as she was almost thrown out by Ian. But the color and scent of that tea stayed clear in her memory, along with Ian’s sharp words.

She had already been unwell. And when Ian’s harsh remarks stuck in her mind, the pain became worse. Aisha bit the inside of her cheek and asked coldly:

“What is it that I absolutely need to hear?”

Ian, who had been wiping his hair with the towel Aisha gave him, slowly lowered his hand. Conflict filled his blue eyes. But unaware of this, Aisha pressed him in a cold tone.

“Ian. If you had mentioned the late marquis, his wife, or my father, I wouldn’t have let you into our house today. Don’t you think it’s ridiculous? Did you already forget what we talked about just two hours ago?”

When Aisha brought up the incident in the imperial garden, the light in Ian’s eyes faded again. He glared at her fiercely before finally speaking a single word:

“Breakup.”

“Yeah, Aisha. You said it yourself. That it was okay to break off the engagement.”

“You said you’d break up with me that you’d do it tomorrow, even. Ha!”

Ian repeated the word “breakup” like he was chewing on it, his voice sharp and chilling. Then, with an incredulous snort, he suddenly burst into a low, dark laugh. The eerie sound sent a chill down Aisha’s spine, and she instinctively pressed her back against the couch.

“Who said you could?”

“I won’t break up with you. No—Aisha, I can’t.”

Ian, who had been laughing, suddenly turned serious and tightly gripped the armrest of the couch. Aisha looked at the veins bulging in his hand and slightly tilted her chin up.

“An engagement should be mutual.”

“No. Our situation is different from others. Whether we stay engaged or break up, you’re not in a position to decide that.”

At Ian’s arrogant words, Aisha frowned. Not in a position to decide? Did he still see her as someone pathetic? Holding back her anger, Aisha spoke a bit faster.

“Do I still look like a stupid, pathetic girl clinging to you?”

“Ian. I don’t like or trust you like I used to. I don’t want to suffer anymore because of you, or make my family suffer either. I won’t. So don’t think I’ll put up with your nonsense like before.”

Aisha repeated what she had told him in the garden. But Ian’s reaction this time was different. Unlike two hours ago, when he showed all his emotions, he now tilted his head with a blank face and stared into her eyes as he said bluntly:

“Endure it.”

“What?”

“Aisha, you have to endure it.”

It was a strange thing to say. Aisha felt that there was something behind his short sentence and kept silent. Ian looked down at her, then slowly continued.

“Why did you start hating me? Why don’t you like me like before? You said you’d love me forever. Why didn’t you keep your promise?”

“You call that a question—!”

“Is it because I treated you badly these past few years?”

“Yeah. I made you cry. I admit it. I hurt you with my words and actions. I even behaved in a way that made people talk about me with other women. Like you said, it’s all my fault.”

At first, his words sounded like a mix of self-blame and regret. But the way he spoke slowly, head held high, showed no real remorse. Aisha couldn’t say anything. Actually, she wanted to yell at him, but Ian’s confident attitude and that strange tone he had used earlier made her hesitate.

Something’s off. The way he looked at Father earlier was strange too…

She remembered how Ian had lumped her deceased parents and her father together, referring to her dad as your father with a hostile tone.

“Why do you think I did all that? Because I was tired of you, like I said? Because of politics? Because, like some fools say, you don’t suit me? Or was it because I really fell for Helen, that illegitimate girl?”

When Aisha didn’t respond, overwhelmed by a bad feeling, Ian stood up. The towel that had been on his knee fell to the floor. Aisha watched him warily as he came closer.

“No.”

“None of that is true. It’s not.”

With a twisted face, Ian shook his head and then suddenly pushed the table with his foot. The heavy wooden table scraped against the floor with an unpleasant sound, ending up crooked. Ian ignored it and knelt on one knee in front of Aisha. Then, like handling the most precious thing in the world, he gently cupped her face in his hands.

“I’ve never been tired of you, Aisha. It wasn’t because of politics or anything else. I still…”

“I still love you very much, Aisha.”

It was a heartfelt confession, enough to move anyone. But the sweetness and moist tone in his voice made Aisha feel suffocated. Maybe in the past, she would’ve melted at such a gaze. But now, when she wanted to avoid him, his intense confession only felt burdensome and a little frightening.

When did it start? Thunder rumbled in the distance, and the rain grew stronger. Aisha purposely turned to look out the window. Even in the dark, the rain was clearly visible. Seeing the rain heavier than when she came home made her uneasy, and she lowered her head.

Ian noticed her displeased expression. He tightened his grip slightly on her face, then, with a determined look in his eyes, swallowed hard and spoke again.

“My feelings have never changed. But the situation. Things I couldn’t control led me here. And that ruined everything between us.”

There was urgency in his voice and something strange again. Just like when he told her to “endure it,” Aisha looked at him suspiciously. Ian met her eyes, then finally revealed the secret he had kept alone.

“Your father killed my father and mother.”

RUMBLE. CRACK.

A loud sound and a flash of light filled the room. Aisha’s eyes widened to the limit. She couldn’t understand or believe what she had just heard. Ian, watching her frozen in shock, calmly delivered another blow.

“The man I called Uncle and followed my whole life your father killed my parents.”

“What are you… You…”

Aisha’s voice trembled and broke. Her hands and even her body began to shake. Ian lowered his hand and tightly held Aisha’s small white hand. A friend’s father, a murderer? It must’ve been a massive shock. But now that he had started, Ian wasn’t going to stop.

“I wish I hadn’t found out. I wanted to believe it wasn’t true. But the more I investigated”

His once calm voice cracked at the end. Though he tried to stay composed for Aisha’s sake, the more he remembered, the more his anger flared.

“Your father killed my parents and made it look like an accident. Then at the funeral, he acted like he cared about me and Sophia, pretending to be kind.”

“You can’t believe it, can you? I understand. I couldn’t either. But Aisha, I spent almost three years investigating. Do you know what I saw and heard during that time?”

Ian recalled the piles of documents in the marquis’s study drawer and shared the contents with Aisha without hiding anything. Enough to fill a few books. Even trimmed down, it took a long time to explain. During that time, thunder grew louder, and rain hitting the windows occasionally drowned out his voice.

“This is just what I’ve found so far.”

His long story ended only when his knee started to ache. Aisha didn’t respond for a long while. She sat pale and frozen, replaying everything she had heard in her mind over and over.

“Aisha.”

Ian stared at her pale face in the dark room and gently called her name. Aisha slowly moved her eyes to meet his.

“If you think I’m lying, I’ll bring you all the evidence I’ve collected. I can even let you meet the people from back then. But”

He tried to keep his voice calm, but inside, Ian was anxious. He had shared his secret, hoping Aisha would finally be on his side. That she’d understand why he acted the way he did. But still, he trembled in fear.

“Please understand me. And choose me.”

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