To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 74

Noah laid down a thick blanket on the roof and then helped Scarlett lie on top of it. Before they knew it, the weather had turned cold, almost like winter, and the air felt chilly.

She shivered and then looked up at the sky, letting out a gasp.

In the deepest part of the night, the stars flowed like a river, and the pale moon captured the gaze of those still awake.

“Are you cold?”

Noah adjusted the shawl wrapped around Scarlett. At the same time, several flames appeared in the air, warming the space around them.

“It’s amazing every time I see it.”

“I think so too.”

“What’s the real difference between wizards and regular people? I wish I could use magic too. Then I could drink water lying down and put out fires while lying down.”

“Isn’t Mari doing all that for you?”

“That’s why I want to use magic myself.”

Haaah. Every time she spoke, it felt like she could see her breath. It wasn’t cold enough for that yet, but it certainly felt that way.

Scarlett tried to catch the cold moonlight in her palm. But all she could see was her pale hand.

“Didn’t you miss me?”

“I did.”

It was Noah whose face turned red at the simple confession.

“There’s something I regret.”

“What is it?”

“This.”

Scarlett pulled out a brooch-shaped communicator from inside her clothes.

“It’s a magical communicator being developed at Cravitz. It allows people with matching brooches to talk to each other. Right now, only Scott and I have them.”

“So now I can hear your voice?”

“No. Mine’s broken. I smashed it when you didn’t come.”

“Oh no…”

“I regretted it right after. Scott said he couldn’t give me another one. I must have been crazy.”

“That sounds like you. What else? What’s the other regret?”

“Not going to the botanical garden with you sooner.”

“The botanical garden?”

“Yeah. It was my dream when I was little.”

She loved the lively flowers and trees. Even when it was fall or winter outside, it was always spring in there. Scarlett loved the life that filled the garden.

“I want to go to the botanical garden.”

Under her blinking eyelids, memories floated of the days when she had visited with John and Amanda long ago.

As a child without parents, she had clung to her sibling’s hand, feeling sad. She had even pretended her sibling was like a parent, feeling proud—and so ashamed afterward.

After that, she never went back to the botanical garden. It didn’t feel like a place meant for her. Until now.

“We’ll walk around proudly holding hands.”

You are not someone to be pitied or ashamed of. Visiting with you would feel like walking through a dream.

Every moment we spend together would be so happy that it would hurt. And I would end up crying.

Ah. I don’t have much time left.

But even that is just a dream. Something I can only wish for, not something I dare make real.

“We can go.”

Instead of answering, Scarlett burrowed into Noah’s arms. His warm body comforted her against the cold night air.

The end was coming. The short burst of health she had enjoyed for the past few months had been only a brief recovery before the final decline. She finally realized it—her life, both in her past life and now, was destined to end.

If so, had she spent the given time without regrets? No easy answer came to her. As she hesitated, Noah’s face came into view.

In the pale moonlight and the flickering flames, he was focused only on her. And everything became clear.

Despite all the hatred she couldn’t let go of, despite the cursed fate that tied them together, she did not regret it.

I’m glad I met you.

She still didn’t understand how she had come to love Noah. But she didn’t regret approaching him. She still hated and feared him. Yet now, she also pitied and loved him.

This feeling was too precious to regret. She dared to say it:

This life had been full enough.

In the days that had only raced toward death, Noah had appeared and brought meaning and value.

Even the painful days of waiting after he disappeared had added color to her life.

Everything was clear now.

She, Scarlett, loved Noah as much as she hated him. And hated him as much as she loved him.

“Listen carefully.”

This is my will.

This is my last gift to you.

So you must bear everything that happens after I die.

Your feelings, my brothers, your situation… I’m leaving only this for you.

“You are not guilty.”

“Scarlett?”

“It’s no one’s fault. My parents, your mother—they all acted according to their own desires. They just hurt each other because the pieces didn’t fit.”

“Why are you saying this all of a sudden?”

Noah felt his heart sink.

Scarlett seemed like she would disappear like the wind. She seemed like she would sink into the ground and vanish forever. Instinctively, he clutched her tightly.

She looked like an old person ready to meet death, having let go of every tie to the world.

Noah bit his lip, thinking he had come too late. His face crumpled in anguish. What shimmered in his eyes was the despair of someone who had seen the end of the world.

Scarlett saw Noah’s rough breathing but calmly continued.

“They all moved according to their own desires. So you should live according to yours.”

“…”

“You’re greedy, right? Live greedily. Build the life you want.”

Be selfish too. Like my parents. Like your mother. Like my brothers. Like me.

“Stop it.”

“Don’t sacrifice yourself or force yourself to please others like you did with me. Don’t act easygoing like a fool. Act according to your true nature.”

I will do that, so you should too.

I will leave you as my final revenge. That’s why I must go.

Goodbye. Yes.

I found a way to satisfy all my love and hate.

Goodbye will complete my revenge. It will also be the best form of my love.

You must leave me. I must leave you. We must be apart.

I will fade here, and you must bloom there.

For love, for revenge, and for ourselves.

So, bloom fully for me.

“Stop. Please, please… don’t say that. Don’t talk like you’re about to leave me… like you’re going to abandon me.”

Noah groaned, his cheeks wet with tears. Hearing his trembling voice, Scarlett let out a deep sigh.

“You can’t see me die.”

“No. Don’t do this.”

“You can’t even attend my funeral.”

“Please don’t be cruel.”

Noah sobbed quietly. Scarlett clenched her teeth to hold back the collapse of her face.

“This is the end for us.”

“You, you… You’re so cruel. So selfish. You only think of yourself. I’ve never met someone so selfish. How far do you plan to hurt me? How much more do you want to tear me apart?”

Noah’s tears fell endlessly. Scarlett wiped his tears away. Noah despaired at her gentle touch.

Why are you so kind to me? It’s not like you. Are you trying to hurt me more? Trying to shatter me completely?

Stop it, Scarlett. You’re too cruel. Stop.

“That’s the Scarlett White you loved.”

Realizing the end had truly come, Noah sobbed without a sound.

His shoulders shook like flickering flames. Tears covered his dry cheeks like a rainstorm.

Scarlett watched it all calmly.

Pretending not to notice her wildly beating heart and the pain biting her cheeks.

“You’ve seen my face, so now go back to where you belong.”

“No, no. No! Where I belong is here, by your side!”

“I’ll return home tomorrow. I’ll die there.”

“I’ll follow you.”

“Never show yourself in front of my brothers. If they get upset, I won’t be able to rest peacefully. So you go live your life. I’ll take care of my end.”

“No. This can’t be happening.”

His calloused hands clung to Scarlett. Noah clung to her desperately.

Don’t abandon me. Don’t be cruel. His sobs and warmth begged her.

I’m a lost lamb. You were the home that sheltered me. Why are you leaving?

I’m a sinner who escaped purgatory thanks to your prayers. Why won’t you even give me time to thank you?

Am I too lacking to be worth your final moments? Then I’ll be your shadow. I’ll follow you, even if it’s only from the other side of the sun.

I’ll become a beetle or an ant stuck to your window. Watching your sleeping face, admiring you secretly.

“This is the best way.”

“For you, maybe.”

“You can do it, right?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Go. Please, just leave.”

“Scarlett! Please…”

Scarlett was firm. She stood up carefully with her thin, bony body and climbed down from the roof.

Noah chased after her in a panic and grabbed her shoulder. Then—

“Ah… No…”

The gray eyes looking back at him were losing their light. She was barely holding on to her last flame.

This was it.

It meant so many things. This was the line she had drawn.

She didn’t want to show him any more pain. She didn’t want to hurt him anymore.

I love you. But only up to here.

Up to this moment…

“Noah.”

Her dry hands held Noah’s tear-soaked cheeks. She pulled his face down to hers and stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips. His swollen lips tasted salty with tears.

Scarlett smiled as brightly as she could. She couldn’t show a healthy appearance, but she wanted to show a bright one. That’s how she wanted to end things.

“Be happy.”

“…Okay.”

If that’s your wish.

Noah, having accepted everything, left the villa, breaking away from Scarlett. His steps wouldn’t move easily, and he kept stopping to look back. He cried a lot, laughed, screamed.

Even so, he couldn’t go back. Scarlett wanted it that way. He couldn’t disobey her. Her will was absolute.

Far away, the dawn broke. He had lost Scarlett, yet a new day began. It didn’t make sense in Noah’s world. But the absurdity continued the next day, and the day after that.

After six sunrises and sunsets, Scarlett’s obituary was published.

Scarlett White had died. Forever.

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