To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 72

She had many symptoms, but if she had to pick the worst, it would be the feeling of not being able to breathe. It was a pain that couldn’t be explained in just a few words.

When something as natural and basic as breathing failed, it turned her mind completely blank and pushed every cell in her body into a terror of death.

Only a minute ago, her hands and feet had been warm, but they quickly turned cold like ice. Just keeping her posture was hard, and in the end, her body would collapse helplessly.

Whenever an attack like this came, she just wanted to die. She was sick of being scared and sick of enduring the seizures.

It would be best to die quietly, like falling asleep. If that wasn’t possible, then she at least wanted to find peace in death rather than suffer while alive.

But today was not that day. Not yet. She couldn’t die yet. She hadn’t met Noah.

“Noah?”

After the seizure, her body had gone limp, and she had fallen asleep. Before she closed her eyes, she had hoped Noah would be there when she woke up. But, as always, her wish didn’t come true.

Damn it. My life is always like this.

“There’s no news yet.”

When Marie shook her head, Scarlett lost all her strength and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“You should eat something.”

“I don’t want to.”

“If you want to take your medicine, you have to eat something first. Young Master Scott made sure to tell me that you shouldn’t skip meals.”

“Scott came by?”

“Yes. He just stopped by for a moment.”

“Anyone else? Other than Scott?”

“Miss Susan said she’ll visit in the evening.”

“No news from Andy?”

“No.”

“That’s good. Andy should stay at school. He must.”

Scarlett mumbled as she watched Marie set up the bed table and bring over some simple food.

“He’s going to be a priest. He shouldn’t be disturbed…”

When Scarlett thought about who would protect Noah if she disappeared from the White family, the answer was Andrew.

Of course, Noah wasn’t someone who needed protecting. He was a descendant of Emperor Natalia and a wizard, too. But a White was still a White. Scarlett knew her brothers well.

They were all extremely rough and wild. Each one lived while growing their own inner fire. The only difference was how much they managed to stay rational. If they chose to be angry, they could do terrible things to anyone, no matter who it was.

Andrew was the best person to calm down such brothers — both because of his social status and his temperament.

“Marie. You think it’s strange too, don’t you?”

“What is?”

“That I like Noah Ashford. We’re not real siblings, but… still, he’s the son of my father’s mistress.”

“Miss…”

“It’s okay, even if people talk. I’m going to die soon anyway. Being happy while alive is more important than what people say after I’m dead. So it’s okay.”

Scarlett hid her trembling hands under the blanket. She wanted to be okay, but she wasn’t.

She didn’t really care about scandals. But Noah disappearing made her mouth dry with fear.

What could have happened? Did he leave for Natalia? Or… did he abandon me?

“I don’t want to eat.”

“You have to. The medicine is very strong.”

Scarlett opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a glass jar. It used to be filled with candy, but now it was filled with pills.

“If I don’t take the medicine, there’s no problem.”

“Miss!”

Her body had gotten weaker faster because she wasn’t taking the medicine. Marie, seeing the jar, looked serious.

“When did you start doing this?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

It started the day she learned the truth about Noah.

The day she realized her parents had abandoned her, she also abandoned John, who had been like a father to her.

She tried to act indifferent, but losing him was a deep wound for her.

From that day on, Scarlett couldn’t find a reason to keep taking the medicine.

“Why are you doing this?”

“If I’m going to die anyway, I want it to be peaceful and quick.”

She wanted to be free from hate, anger, and fear. She didn’t want to resent her family anymore. She was tired of being angry and tired of the nightmares that haunted her every night.

Scarlett really wanted to die.

“Then at least eat something.”

Marie, with a determined look, pressed a spoon into Scarlett’s hand. Scarlett could have flipped the tray in anger at any moment, but Marie was clearly ready for that.

Scarlett rolled a brooch in her hand. It was a communication device being researched in Cravitz. No one outside the White family had even seen it, but she had managed to get a few from Scott.

‘I should have given it to him sooner.’

She let out a deep sigh of regret.

“You can’t starve. Just take one bite.”

Marie was so firm that Scarlett, surprised, looked at her.

“You’re waiting for Noah Ashford, aren’t you? You need strength to wait. That’s why you have that gift, too, right? You want to give it to him.”

Maybe she didn’t want to stay alive just to keep breathing, but she still wanted to eat enough to see him again. With tears welling up, Scarlett picked up the spoon.

Julia tied up Noah’s hands and feet. Even though he had only recently discovered his magical talents, he was surprisingly skilled, so she had to be careful.

“Let me go! Let go! Let me go!”

Magic sparked around Noah like lightning, flashing and disappearing. Julia watched him closely and neutralized his magic whenever he tried to cast a spell.

She had planned to put him to sleep with medicine, but Noah struggled so much that she lost all the pills she had prepared.

“I’m not your possession! Please, stop!”

Noah twisted his body, trying to break free from the magic bindings. But the more he struggled, the tighter Julia’s magic bound him.

“Aaaargh!”

Noah screamed. He didn’t even know how much time had passed. All he knew was that he was trapped and forced away from Scarlett.

He trembled with a deep sense of betrayal, knowing his mother had secretly drugged him. His bloodshot eyes were full of rage, and his hoarse voice sounded like grinding metal.

Julia turned her eyes away from him. To her, her son’s life was more important than a fleeting young love.

Their magic clashed. For a brief moment, Noah’s magic exploded, throwing Julia against the wall.

As time passed, Julia found it harder to keep him restrained. Her son seemed to have even greater magical talent than she did.

“Haah… haah…”

Noah panted heavily and glared at her. His fierce eyes showed no warmth.

“Please don’t make me hate you forever.”

“What is it about that girl that makes you act like this?”

“She needs me.”

“There are plenty of people who can take care of her without you.”

“I need her.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why? For what reason?”

“Because she’s Scarlett!”

“Stop this nonsense. She’s Scarlett White! The daughter of Mr. White, and your stepsister!”

“Legally and genetically, there’s no problem.”

“But it’s morally wrong.”

“I gave up on that morality a long time ago.”

“Noah!”

“Mother!”

Julia looked at her son, shocked. Noah had always been polite, even if not exactly gentle. But now he was glaring at her with bloodshot eyes, shouting.

“Wake up. Are you going to throw away your life over some passing feeling?”

“She’s dying because of me.”

“That’s not true. It’s because of Mrs. White’s foolish misunderstanding.”

“But it’s still because of me! If I hadn’t been here, they would never have made that choice.”

“Enough. Noah, please cherish yourself. What did that girl say to make you think you’re some worthless stone?”

“It’s the truth. Please don’t make me repeat myself. Let me go. Please!”

“No. I won’t.”

“Mother!”

Noah, overwhelmed by anger, slammed his forehead against the wall, something he had never even done during his teenage years.

“Noah! Stop! Please stop!”

Julia rushed to stop him, but blood was already dripping down from his forehead.

“What are you doing? I’m your mother. How can you do this in front of me? I’m doing this for you!”

“If it’s for me, then respect me and listen to what I say! You’ve never once cared about my voice. You ask what she said to me? She forgave me. She said she forgave me!”

Noah didn’t really believe Scarlett had completely forgiven him. Deep inside, he knew she still had some hatred for him.

But forgiveness wasn’t about completely erasing anger. He didn’t expect that much. Her soft, snake-like words had been a magic of their own. She had given him freedom from guilt.

Forgiveness was not an easy thing — it was a miracle.

“She’s not God! Who can forgive someone’s sins? It’s arrogant!”

Forgiveness was the most painful burden a victim could carry. But she had accepted that pain, for him.

“I know. But… for the first time after meeting her, I was free.”

Noah sobbed as he confessed.

“Scarlett is everything to me. She gave meaning to my useless life. Because of her, I could step out of Mr. White’s shadow and live as Noah Ashford. Thanks to her, I…”

I was finally able to reclaim my life.

Julia opened her mouth but couldn’t find any words. Her son’s confession shook her to the core.

She had never realized Noah lived trapped by guilt. She hadn’t known how heavy and miserable it was to live labeled as an illegitimate child.

Because she had never been one herself, she couldn’t understand the pain or the despair.

She had thought it was better to be alive, even if it meant facing threats in Natalia.

“My soul was saved.”

“…”

“She’s dying… but there’s nothing I can do. So I have to at least stay by her side…”

Noah spoke more sadly than anyone Julia had ever heard. Biting her lip to hold back tears, she realized the pain of her son was worse than any pain she felt.

Julia looked at her son. The tiny baby she once held had grown into a full-grown young man.

Noah leaned his forehead against the wall, sobbing, looking as fragile as a flame about to die out.

Julia clenched her fists until her nails dug into her palms. She closed her eyes tightly and released the magic binding Noah.

“Don’t make me regret this moment.”

Finally free, Noah stared at her in shock before answering.

“I’ll survive. No matter what happens, I’ll survive.”

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