To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 34

Scarlett’s slender fingers brushed Noah’s earlobe. Her touch could be felt clearly across his whole head.

It wasn’t a kind touch, but it wasn’t rough either. It was a little awkward, yet strangely skilled. Unlike his own, her fingertips were soft. There were no calluses, and her skin wasn’t rough.

This time, she touched the back of Noah’s neck. For a moment, Noah felt like he might stop breathing. He tried his best to stay calm, afraid his face might turn red.

But when he felt her breath right in front of him, he even forgot how to breathe. With his head lowered, he quietly accepted her touch.

“You seem used to this… drying someone’s hair.”

He stuttered.

‘Idiot!’

He cursed himself for being so foolish.

“I used to dry Isaac’s hair a lot.”

“You didn’t have the maids do it?”

He worried that his voice might have shaken just now. Was it okay? Did he look normal?

If he could control himself in this moment, he wanted to look like a relaxed man in front of her.

“It’s Isaac. He grew up eating my love. It’s not the same as a mother’s love, but still.”

“With Mr. John’s daughter too, you have two nieces, right? But you seem to care especially about Isaac.”

“Abigail still has her mom and dad. Isaac is different. He will miss the parents he’s never even met his whole life. I know what kind of wound that will leave. It’s something only I can understand.”

You saw yourself in Isaac.

Her calm confession pierced Noah like a knife. The more he loved her, the more he hated his own existence.

He hated that he had taken Scarlett’s father and her health from her and ruined her life.

If we hadn’t met like this, I could have loved you freely with all my heart.

I could have given you my love without holding back.

You wouldn’t be hurting like this, longing for your parents.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? That’s a strange thing to say.”

“I’m always sorry to you.”

“You sound like a mom. Susan always says that. She’s always sorry to Isaac.”

Scarlett let out a short sigh. Her breath brushed against Noah. She ruffled Noah’s hair and looked down at his flushed neck.

It was funny.

The one who killed me is the one who likes me.

“How sorry are you?”

“Very. So much.”

“Would you give your life for it?”

“…Yeah.”

Scarlett’s eyes shook. Her hand paused for a moment.

Still lowering his head, Noah raised his hand and covered the back of her hand with his. His big, rough hand wrapped around her small hand.

Her hand was cold from the rain, but Noah’s hand was hot, like it had been warmed by a fire.

“Your hand is cold…”

Outside the carriage, heavy rain poured down.

Thud, thud, thud.

Thick raindrops beat nonstop against the carriage. The sound was so loud it was like the pounding of their hearts.

“…Your… life…”

Scarlett twisted her wrist, trying to pull her hand from Noah’s grip. She didn’t seem to use much force, but maybe his grip was too strong, because her hand wouldn’t come free easily.

Noah thought that even if it was just her hand, he wanted to keep holding it. He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of her hand.

The leftover rain made his touch slide over her skin. Every spot he touched burned hot.

“I don’t need it…”

“I wish you needed me.”

Why was he acting like this? What was Noah Ashford doing right now?

Scarlett was relieved that the rain covered up the sound of her heart pounding.

“You have too much, and I have too little. I have nothing to give you. Nothing but my life.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

Noah lifted his head. Their eyes met in the air. A faint sad smile hovered on his face.

The words on the tip of his tongue were “I love you,” but he had to swallow them. He couldn’t and shouldn’t say it.

Love was one of the few things he could give her, but even that wasn’t allowed.

This was his punishment. His punishment for original sin.

And this love itself was his sin.

“I just meant… your hand is cold. I wish I could give you my warmth.”

Scarlett felt her heart twist. It was like falling endlessly or flying so high she couldn’t see the end.

She couldn’t even tell if she felt good or bad. She didn’t understand why she felt this way.

The mood turned strange. Something unseen passed between them. Noah looked at her with all his heart. His clear blue eyes were filled with burning heat.

Just when Scarlett didn’t know what to do, Noah let go of her hand. Only then did the tightness in her chest ease.

“Achoo.”

As Scarlett returned to her seat and tried to pull the blanket around her, she sneezed. If she waited for her clothes to dry inside the carriage, her weak body might lose too much heat.

“Ah.”

Suddenly, Noah had a good idea.

He created a small flame in the air. The fire floated gently in front of her, giving off a soft warmth.

“Wow…”

Scarlett let out a small exclamation. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at the floating blue flame. When she moved her hand close, she could feel the heat.

“Magic… really is amazing.”

“Sorry. I should have done this sooner, but I forgot I was a magician.”

“It’s a blue flame. It’s warm. I wish I were a magician too.”

“If you could use magic, what would you want to do?”

“I want to turn back time.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Isn’t magic supposed to break the laws of physics?”

“Time is the realm of gods. I thought you would say you want to get your health back.”

“I gave up on that last night.”

Scarlett stared at the blue flame.

Was what she experienced really just a dream? Or another future of hers?

One thing was clear: she was living under God’s blessing. Talking with Noah, sharing time together in the same carriage—it all felt like a dream.

No, this was a fantasy. A reality she never thought she’d experience.

“Maybe you have a magician’s blood from your mother’s side. No one in our family has magic talents. And maybe… if you’re not your father’s son, maybe your real father came from a magician’s family.”

Scarlett murmured in a daze, her eyes fixed on the blue flame, not noticing how Noah was looking at her.

At that time, Julia…

Julia was too busy holding a bucket to catch the leaking rainwater to hear the knocking on the door.

It wasn’t until much later, when she was thinking she would need to fix the roof once the sun rose, that she finally heard the loud knocking over the sound of the rain.

She grew tense, worried the person knocking might be from the White family. Julia was afraid of the White children. Except for John, they were all difficult and mean.

But with her son Noah staying with Scarlett White, Julia couldn’t just ignore the White family.

She braced herself and opened the door.

“Who is it?”

The sound of the rain grew louder through the crack of the door. The sun was hidden behind the dark clouds, so it wasn’t blinding.

A man stood in the shadows. He was tall, had a fine mustache, and carried a strong presence from his large frame.

Julia recognized him immediately. The man took off his wet hat and shook the water off. Julia stepped back as he entered. Her hands trembled, and her lips turned pale.

“It’s been a long time. I didn’t think it would be this hard to find you. It really took a long time.”

“Y-you… How…”

Julia gasped like she might stop breathing any moment. The emotion on her face was pure fear.

“Time passed, but your face is the same. Well, there are some small changes… but it doesn’t matter now that I’ve found you.”

“G-get out. This is my house.”

“This isn’t your house. I checked with City Hall. This house belongs to a man named Jonathan Gilbert. But when I checked his finances, it turns out he was just a front. The real owner is John White.”

The man looked around the house like it was his own. He glanced at the worn-out walls and touched a book stained with fingerprints. Julia rushed to stop him.

“Don’t touch that.”

“‘World History from an Economic Perspective,’ huh… It’s a good book. But I recommend ‘The Economic History of Natalia Through the Changes in Philosophy’ by William Maupin. You and the child both need to know more about Natalia’s history.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What child?”

“Julia. No, Maya. You’re terribly poor. It breaks my heart to think a child grew up in a place like this.”

The old secondhand books, the leaking ceiling, the broken door—everything was a mess. The man frowned, and Julia’s face turned red.

“How rude! I’m a single woman! How dare you call me a mother!”

“Stop pretending. You didn’t even have enough firewood… Poverty was your ally. You changed your identity so many times because of debt, which made it much harder to find you. That’s why it took so long.”

The man pulled out a lighter and lit some firewood. He threw some old newspapers stacked in the corner into the fireplace.

“Hiding in Wifland was a smart choice. A warm climate, wide land like Natalia, a big population. It’s the perfect place to hide while raising a child.”

“Stop talking nonsense! You must be mistaken. I did have a man I lived with, but—”

“You tried to cover it up by pretending the child was someone else’s, but it’s useless. The child looks like you but has my father’s eyes.”

“Don’t call a single woman a mother!”

“Maya. Who would have guessed? The top magician of Natalia, thought to be dead, living so quietly. Hiding your powers too. No one could have guessed. Does the child even know? About what kind of magician you are? About who his father is?”

Behind him, the newspapers in the fireplace burned black. The headline on the newspaper turned to ash.

[Leader of Natalia’s Noble Faction, Victor Lebedev, Hiding Away. Is It Really Due to Health Problems?]

The flames swallowed the man’s face printed below the headline—Victor Lebedev’s face burned in the fire.

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