To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 25

Since Scarlett opened her eyes, Noah hadn’t been able to enter her hospital room even once. It was because Scarlett’s sister, Susan, strongly opposed it.

Noah thought about Scarlett every day in the attic of the villa. Was she healthy? Was she having nightmares? And just like him, was Scarlett missing him too?

When his thoughts reached that point, Noah would stop breathing and close his eyes, feeling a deep sense of guilt.

When he shut his eyelids, he could see Scarlett’s red hair and gray eyes. He could even hear her screams.

That scream, filled with so much pain it felt like it would tear the world apart, had shaken Noah’s entire world.

Fortunately, Scarlett recovered quickly and returned to the villa in less than a week.

“Scarlett.”

Noah ran down at the sound of the carriage and immediately checked Scarlett’s face.

She was wearing a green dress he had never seen before, and she looked just like a rose. Her curly red hair and her sharp tone too.

“Why are you out here?”

Her sharp tone was still the same. But to Noah, that tone was proof that she was better, and he smiled gently.

The shape of his smile, like a half-moon, made Noah, standing between a boy and a young man, look more like a shy boy.

Scarlett threw a book she was holding into Noah’s arms. The pages of the book were folded here and there.

“I folded all the parts I don’t understand. Tell me after dinner.”

“Is your body okay?”

“My body was fine the moment the curse broke. And if you’re talking about my health, I’ve been like this since I was born, so you don’t need to worry.”

“I’m glad. I was worried.”

“I’m going back to school starting tomorrow. I explained my situation, so the quiz was postponed. But I have to take it early in the morning, so I need to study right away.”

“You’re going back already?”

“Does it make sense that I can’t go to school because of that damn Archie or Archer or whatever his name is? I don’t want to lose to that bad guy.”

Even though Archer Davidson was sentenced to 20 years in the worst prison on earth, Scarlett was still angry, her face red with frustration. Noah carefully suggested,

“Wouldn’t it be better to rest a little more?”

“There’s no time.”

No time.

She had to win Noah’s heart as soon as possible.

She had to make him grieve for her death, fall into deep sadness, and suffer terribly until the moment he died betrayed by her.

For that, she needed time to be with Noah.

In truth, she had already captured Noah’s heart. But Scarlett wasn’t looking at Noah; she was focused only on her revenge, so she didn’t realize it.

She had no time to notice the love tinting Noah’s blue eyes, the sorrowful guilt, and the sad affection.

That evening, wrapped in a blanket, she listened to Noah explain things in front of the fireplace.

The firewood crackled as it burned. The warm air filled the space between them. Watching the dancing flames, Scarlett counted the things she needed to do.

Not just things she needed to do. There were many things she wanted to do too. In front of death, life always left behind many regrets, like fingerprints stuck all over a window.

“After the test, let’s skip class. Aaron told me about a hidden garden in Iodes. I want to go there.”

While explaining, Noah lifted his eyes from the book and looked at Scarlett.

The fireplace flames reflected in her gray eyes. It was her clinging to the life she still had.

No matter how much she prepared for her death, she was still an unfinished flower, longing for the brilliant moment when she could fully bloom. She was a piece of youth she could never truly dream of.

Scarlett met Noah’s blue eyes and smiled softly. It wasn’t a forced smile, nor was it directed at Noah. It was the anticipation of the action she was about to take.

Even so, Noah was captivated by her smile and answered as if hypnotized.

“…Okay.”

“This way! Hurry up.”

After the test, Scarlett hurried Noah along. Noah followed quickly, carrying a bag full of stuff.

Scarlett had insisted they eat lunch at the secret garden, packing a blanket and a bunch of food.

When she pushed aside the ivy, a small hole appeared. Confidence flashed across her face.

As she bent down to crawl through, Noah quickly stopped her.

“I’ll go first. It might be dangerous.”

“Really? Then go ahead.”

Scarlett answered coolly and watched Noah squeeze into the hole. A small exclamation came from inside.

Excited, Scarlett squeezed herself through the hole too. Noah helped pull her up from inside.

“Wow.”

Scarlett realized again that Aaron really had no sense of romance, calling this place just “a good spot for a nap.”

It was a garden full of flowers, each different in size, color, and shape. Scarlett’s slender fingers brushed the petals of a cosmos flower.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Scarlett gave a faint smile. Seeing the sadness hidden in that light smile, Noah’s gaze deepened. She said,

“My legs hurt.”

“Oh, right.”

Noah quickly spread a blanket on the ground so she could sit. Carefully, Scarlett sat down, making sure not to step on any flowers.

With another blanket over her knees, Scarlett quietly felt the gentle autumn breeze tickling her hair.

This moment was peaceful for her.

There was no more pain in her arms. The sunlight wasn’t too hot.

Susan had warned them to be careful about infectious diseases, and Noah was there by her side without holding a knife.

If this was peace, then it was peace. Scarlett had always wished for moments like this. Always for moments like this—

“I want to die.”

“…What are you saying?”

Deep wrinkles appeared on Noah’s forehead. Scarlett lay down on the blanket.

With her hands resting on her stomach, she looked like someone lying in a small coffin.

“If I die, I want it to be like this.”

“Why are you saying things like that?”

“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad.”

To her, this moment was truly beautiful. The flowers, which she thought she could only see in spring, were in full bloom.

Spring, and flowers, were proof that Scarlett had survived another year. A signal that she hadn’t been overtaken by the harsh winter and had welcomed a new season.

That’s why Scarlett loved flowers. Even now, with every second ticking closer to death.

“Lie down too.”

Noah took off his old coat, covered her with it, and carefully lay down next to her.

Maybe because the sunlight through the crisp autumn wind was so warm, he felt his chest burning and his stomach turning.

Scarlett stared at the fluffy clouds drifting across the deep blue sky.

About 150 days left. If she had 150 days left to live, then Noah had only 149.

She tried to calculate: could she win Noah’s heart, give him everything, and then cruelly abandon him within that time? As she thought about it, she realized what she needed to say right now.

A tiny bit of real sincerity to win his heart.

“Thank you.”

She was thankful, not for anything else, but because he had saved her life twice, even though he would later kill her. This feeling was separate from hatred.

“Thank you for the kidnapping and the curse too.”

At Scarlett’s sudden words, Noah’s face turned pale. His tightly clenched hands turned white.

He trembled slightly, staring at her with intense eyes. Scarlett, who spoke words she normally wouldn’t, truly looked like someone facing death.

“Do you really… want to die?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you want to die.”

“I want to live. But since I will die early, if I die, I want to die in a place like this.”

Scarlett slowly opened her eyes. Then, Noah’s face, full of worry, came into her sight.

The emotion on his face was fear. A small bitter laugh escaped from her.

Why are you making that face? You, Noah Ashford, who killed me, why?

“If I die, I hope roses bloom over my grave. A tree would be fine too. I hope a beautiful place like this is made, and Isaac will enjoy coming to my grave. Like he’s going on a picnic.”

“Why are you saying things like that?”

“Because death is the word I know best.”

It was Noah who was hurt by her light tone. That word, that tone, became a blade and stabbed Noah’s heart. Guilt, sadness, and anger toward himself rose like a fire.

He didn’t even deserve to like her. It was him who twisted the start of her life, and it was him who ruined her health and made her life end.

Whether he wanted it or not, the fact that he ruined the life of the woman he liked was too clear. Noah wanted to run to his mother right away, crying, and ask her.

Why did it have to be Mr. White?

He wouldn’t have minded not being born. Couldn’t she have chosen another man? Then Scarlett could have been healthy. Then he could have liked her freely. Then this love wouldn’t have been a sin.

Wet darkness slowly rose over his chest.

“Noah. If you feel sorry for me, do this for me.”

Scarlett lifted Noah’s arm and pushed it under the back of her head. As she laid on his arm, Scarlett’s warmth and breath came closer. Noah tensed up, taking a sharp breath.

“When we were little, my brothers often did this when we were outside. If I fell asleep lying down, my brothers would pick me up and carry me to my room. You are my brother too.”

Could you really be my brother? Even though you killed me, could I still call you my brother?

She swallowed all her thoughts under her eyelids. She was scared that if she opened her eyes, the emotions boiling inside her would come out.

Like when she napped with John when they were small, she reached out and played with Noah’s hair. She did it, hoping he would believe her lie.

At Scarlett’s touch, Noah stiffened and flinched, even with his eyes closed. Scarlett let out a low laugh.

‘I hope you believe me soon. So I can betray you and break you apart.’

She hated him. She despised him.

And she was confused.

‘Is the Noah Ashford I know and the one in my dream really the same person?’

Who are you? What kind of person are you, standing in front of me?

To erase her thoughts, she brought up another topic.

“I heard you are a magician. If you don’t want people to know, I’ll keep it a secret.”

“Thank you.”

Noah cleared his throat silently, feeling like his voice had trembled.

Like her red hair spread over the blanket, her red feelings stained him. It felt like his heart was growing from her touch.

His chest tickled. And guilt toward that feeling made a part of his heart ache.

It was terribly uncomfortable, but he ignored the discomfort because of the heat he felt for her. At the same time, the deepening guilt rose again.

Inside the emotions spinning like a wheel, Noah felt Scarlett’s touch. Her careful and delicate touch made him want to cry.

Was it you who entered my life? Or was it me who dug into yours? Probably the latter.

If so, then it wasn’t just entering. Maybe I ripped into your life. Maybe my existence is like a worm eating you from the inside.

I feel sorry. Like I am something that makes your heart and lungs hurt, something that drinks your blood and grows in your tears.

Noah cleared his throat and slowly started to speak.

“I don’t remember very well because I was so young, but when I was little, Mr. White sometimes… pushed me on a swing. There was a swing in the villa’s garden. If it’s okay, can I push you?”

“Okay.”

Between the swaying flowers, they heard the song of the autumn wind. Scarlett suddenly felt like crying.

She realized what it meant to live without a father. Even though brothers and Noah could never fill that place, she was sad that there was no one to miss because he was not there.

So Scarlett could not just stay still when she received Susan’s letter after arriving at the villa.

[Isaac has caught a fever. It might spread, so don’t come home for a while and stay at the villa. It’s better not to go out to Iodes either.]

Because Isaac, without a father, was her nephew—the one she wanted to fill that empty space for.

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