To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 123

“Even if you’re engaged to Wilhelm Hoffmann, nothing changes.”

Scarlett couldn’t open her lips with Noah’s hand holding hers. If she did, he might feel how much she was trembling. Even so, she didn’t think about pulling away.

It was overwhelming to meet his eyes at such a close distance. The violet eyes that once reminded her of her killer no longer scared her. Now, she could see their true color clearly.

Those eyes had a mysterious shade, a perfect mix of red and blue.

“Noah.”

She did her best to hide her feelings. Then she lifted her hand and gently removed his from her face.

Noah’s hand dropped without resistance, and in that moment, he looked as afraid as when she had first told him goodbye.

“I know that you know everything.”

“…I don’t know what you mean.”

Was he pretending not to know? Or did he really not know? Either way, it didn’t matter. Scarlett stared straight at him and spoke.

“You disguised yourself as a fabric merchant and came in and out of our house.”

“…”

“And I know whose son Teddy is. Don’t I?”

“…How did you know?”

“That’s not important.”

She had expected him to get angry or threaten her, but surprisingly, he looked a little sad as he leaned back deeply into his chair.

“Don’t hover around me like this.”

“I wanted to see you alive. More than anything, I had to see with my own eyes how you were doing. Whether you looked healthy, whether your body was okay…”

As Noah brushed back his hair, looking exhausted, she realized he wanted to talk. He wasn’t calm—he was trying hard to stay calm, struggling to hide the nerves eating at him.

“Well, then I ended up seeing you with Wilhelm, even though I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s been six years. That was six years ago—”

“It might be six years to you, but to me, it’s only six years. You have no idea how I’ve lived all this time.”

Noah’s face turned red with emotion. His ears burned bright, and veins rose on his neck.

He tried to keep his tone calm, but the feelings in his next words poured out with full weight.

“Were you afraid of me? Afraid that if I found out you were alive, I’d drop everything and run to you? Or were you scared of what we had between us? You… you’ll never understand. You’ll never know what it’s like to live while crushing the life of the woman you love beneath your feet. You don’t know…”

His voice cracked and filled with tears. Scarlett felt her breath catch in her throat. Noah continued.

“Do you know how miserable that life was? Did you ever think about the guilt and longing I carried? You can’t understand how much I loved you. I hated your brothers so much I wanted to tear them apart, and yet… I couldn’t forget you.”

“Noah, calm down.”

But instead, he grew more agitated and shouted. He couldn’t control his emotions anymore.

“Couldn’t you be brave and honest, just once? If you had told me you were alive, told me about Teddy, told me you wanted to raise him even as a single mother because you couldn’t give him to Natalia—if you had just been honest, I would’ve understood. I would’ve let you go for your happiness and lived with the pain!”

“…”

“You need to understand what you did! You’re no different from your brothers. If your goal was to steal my heart and then throw me away to suffer—congratulations. You succeeded in breaking me.”

“…”

She had abandoned Noah out of both love and revenge. Not because she didn’t love him. Things had gone in a direction she never intended, and she didn’t have the strength to fix it.

That’s why she listened to his anger in silence, even if her lips trembled. And that silence irritated Noah even more.

“Don’t cry! Please, just don’t cry anymore! I’m so sick of your tears!”

He was sick of it. Whenever she cried, it felt like his heart melted. Like the sky collapsed with a crash.

Why did Scarlett White have such power over him…? Why did she shake his very soul?

He hated that about himself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Even so, I wanted to give you a chance. I told you not to get engaged. I told you. And I love you this much…”

If you still loved me, could you have gone and gotten engaged like that?

Noah let out a painful breath, not even realizing he was crying. Seeing his tears, Scarlett trembled, unsure what to do.

Just as Noah hated her tears, Scarlett was afraid of his.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… Noah, I’m sorry…”

Noah’s breathing was rough. Scarlett was worried by the irregular rhythm and shuddering breaths.

Trying to calm him, she approached and hesitantly hugged him. His pounding heartbeat came through the thin summer fabric.

Noah dropped his head and buried his face in her small shoulder. Hot tears soaked through.

As if he had been waiting, he clung tightly to Scarlett, wrapping his arms around her.

“Please don’t do this. Stop being so cruel to me.”

His arms wrapped around her waist. He held her so tightly, as if afraid she might disappear like a mirage, that Scarlett gasped for air.

Still holding her, Noah murmured,

“I shouldn’t have let you go like that. No matter what, I should’ve held onto you. I should’ve stayed by your side.”

Even if it meant giving up everything… even if Scott White beat him to death… he should’ve stayed with her. Then things might not have gone so wrong.

Noah held her like a man finding a burning fire in a snowy winter cave.

“Scarlett… Scarlett…”

He pressed his face against her neck and kissed her skin. Scarlett flinched and turned her head toward him.

Their eyes met.

As if he had been waiting, Noah pulled her even closer and kissed her. Scarlett didn’t push him away. That made Noah even more desperate as he kissed her deeper, tasting her lips like a sweet candy.

“Scarlett… haah… Scarlett.”

Lost in emotion, they clung to each other.

“Do you love me?”

“Noah…”

“Tell me. Do you love me? Do you still love me?”

“…”

He hoped—begged—that her heart was still the same. That she had only gotten engaged because she was forced to. That everything with Wilhelm was just circumstance.

But Scarlett came to her senses first.

“Noah. Let’s stop here.”

She placed her hand between their lips. But Noah didn’t let go. He was still holding her waist.

“No. No, this isn’t right.”

Like a child afraid of losing his mother, Noah clung to her desperately.

“Noah. Please. Please forget me, okay?”

“Scarlett!”

“You and I can’t be together! You know that better than anyone. We’ve done too much to each other. I hate what you have, and you resent me. Just think I died. Live like that. Please.”

His bloodshot eyes stared at her without blinking.

Trembling with betrayal, Noah looked at Scarlett with hate that turned into disgust. And yet, the fact that he still wanted her made him feel beyond saving.

“Susan is under tax investigation, Aaron gets death threats from the mafia every day. And Scott—he’s no better. If you really thought we could still be together after all that, you’re seriously mistaken.”

“Scott White started it first!”

“He didn’t kill your mother!”

“There’s proof! Evidence!”

“It’s fake. Someone set us up!”

“You… you only love your brothers. You don’t see me at all, do you?”

“That’s right! I don’t! Family is more important than some dead love!”

“Scarlett White!”

“What gives you the right to make me abandon my siblings? You stepped on my existence from the moment you were born, but they raised me when I was dying. How could you ever expect equal love?!”

Scarlett shouted and pushed Noah’s chest, breaking free from his arms.

Noah staggered backward as she pushed him and watched her head for the door. He yelled after her back.

“Scarlett! I told you not to get engaged! I warned you!”

Scarlett marched back to him and pointed a finger at his face, gritting her teeth.

“Well here’s my warning: stay the hell away from my family! If you sneak around in disguise again, I’ll make sure you’re humiliated worldwide!”

Like a stinging bee, she snapped and left the hotel without a second glance.

Noah watched her walk away like an abandoned dog.

Part of him wanted to run after her right then—but another part rose up in revolt.

Noah glared at her as she crossed the road outside the hotel, like a child consumed by rage. His lips twisted bitterly.

“You were never supposed to do this to me.”

He had been ready to give up everything for love. That’s how much he loved her.

Burning with betrayal, Noah called out to Peter, who had been waiting outside.

“Peter. Find me Isabella Norton’s address. I need to meet her.”

If Scarlett wouldn’t choose him, then he’d make it so she had to.

A cold fury burned in Noah’s eyes.

He had no intention of giving Scarlett up. Not even a little.

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