To the Man Destined to Kill Me - Chapter 1

I knew my father had a mistress while my mother was pregnant.

But no one told me that my mother went into premature labor after seeing Noah Ashford, the mistress’s one-year-old son.

My mother believed Noah Ashford, who looked just like the mistress, was my father’s child.

The shock caused her to give birth at just eight months. The baby—born with weak lungs and heart—was often ill and was told from the start that they wouldn’t live long.

That baby was me.

“He wasn’t my father’s son…”

The moment I opened my eyes after turning back time, I had to take a deep breath.

My pain—this fragile body of mine—was all because of Noah Ashford and that woman.

And in the end, I was killed by Noah Ashford.

“How dare you…”

Someone like you killed me? How could you?!

My hands trembled violently. Rage surged through every inch of my body, and my face flushed with heat.

Because of Julia Ashford, I grew up without parents. My father never came back from his affair, and I heard my mother died from the stress and heartbreak.

That boy was the reason everything in my life—my body, my family, my future—was destroyed.

“Haa… Hic.”

I couldn’t breathe. Clutching my chest, I wheezed and grabbed Scott’s wrist. He quickly put medicine on my lips. I chewed the bitter pill dry.

I wanted to live. I had to live. If Noah Ashford was there at the start of my life, then at the very least, I would decide how it ends. That’s why I have to survive.

“Hic… hiccough!”

I’ll kill him.

“Hic!”

I will kill him. I won’t let it go.

“The medicine isn’t working.”

Scott quickly pulled a syringe from the drawer.

Why is something as simple and natural as breathing so difficult for me? Is it because I was never meant to be born—because even the world rejects me?

If that’s the case, then Noah Ashford and his mother, who made me this way, will have to pay for my life.

“Hic.”

“Carly, hey, calm down. It’s okay. Damn it… if I’d known this would happen, I wouldn’t have told you.”

I couldn’t calm down. Nothing was okay. But the sedative made those things possible.

After Scott injected both a tranquilizer and a muscle relaxant, my breathing slowly became easier. But that didn’t mean I felt any better.

“Are you okay?”

Scott was used to my panic attacks and responded with practiced calm. But even he couldn’t hide the worry in his eyes. Gasping for air, I spat out my anger.

“Why did you wait until now?”

“Are you okay?” he repeated.

“I asked you why you waited until now! You should’ve told me! Even if everyone else stayed quiet, you should’ve given me something! Why would you let me live like an idiot?! Like some dumb puppet?!”

“Don’t get worked up. I don’t want to give you another shot.”

“Scott!”

“Scarlett.”

His calm tone began to steady my ragged breathing, even as my fury simmered beneath the surface.

Of course, it was just the drugs working. But I welcomed the clarity they brought. In a softer voice, I asked:

“…She’s dying?”

“Yeah.”

“And her son?”

“That’s none of your concern. Are you angry?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your father—”

“I don’t have a father.”

Did I ever really have one? Did he ever hold a place in my heart beyond resentment?

“Who else knows?”

“No one. No one knows that woman is dying.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the glint of a diamond on Scott’s cufflinks—one of the gifts my older brother Aaron had handed out on his birthday as a token of thanks.

That’s the kind of family I grew up in. One so absurdly affectionate that it made it impossible to be normal.

Our father was never in that picture. Not once.

“Find her son.”

“That’s… difficult.”

“Why?”

“He disappeared like smoke. One day, he was just gone. I searched everywhere.”

Scott shrugged and reached out to pat my head.

“Please, don’t make me regret telling you the truth.”

“I don’t mind being the greenhouse flower you’ve all tried to protect… but I refuse to be a clueless puppet.”

“What’s the difference?”

“A flower chooses the safety of the greenhouse. A puppet is controlled—powerless, without a say. If you hadn’t told me the truth, I’d have cursed you even after death.”

Scott mulled over my metaphor for a moment before letting out a short laugh.

“Fine. If you’re willing to stay delicate like a flower, we’ll handle the dirty work. Just say the word.”

I relive the nightmare of that day every night… and you’re telling me he’s missing?

I want to find him—and make him feel every bit of the pain that Isaac and I endured.

Only then will it be fair. Only then will justice be served.

He needs to suffer like I did.

“That man…”

Noah Ashford’s violet eyes came to mind.

I could almost feel the sting of shattered glass embedded in my arm. A shiver ran from my shoulders to my legs. He still terrified me.

“Give me everything you have on Noah Ashford. And I need a surveillance report on that woman. If she’s dying, she’ll show up somewhere—if she’s human.”

“What are you planning?”

Will she show up at all? Maybe she’s not even human…

“I’m going to meet her.”

Scott frowned. I ignored it and continued.

“I just want to ask her—before she dies—how sweet it was, having an affair with a married man.”

“If Susan finds out, I’m dead.”

Scott rubbed his face and sighed.

“What, did you think I’d meet her with a smile and say, ‘Oh, I forgive you, because I’m just that good and kind-hearted’? Shouldn’t she pay for her sins, even now? She should be on her knees begging for forgiveness, not lying comfortably in bed! Maybe you all forgave her—but I haven’t. This is just the beginning!”

“You’re right… I’ll send you the information by tomorrow. I don’t know what you’re planning, but don’t let it harm your health.”

I didn’t answer—just gave him a soft smile.

I died before I turned nineteen.

I know how this end. One way or another, I die. So I have nothing left to lose.

After Scott left, as scheduled, Attorney Smith came to visit.

“It’s been a while.”

He adjusted his glasses, looking slightly puzzled.

That’s when I remembered—he had no memory of me. The only time we met was when I was bedridden, just before I was killed.

“Ah, I must’ve been mistaken. Anyway, this is the will I wrote around fourteen with Mr. Johnson. Unfortunately, he passed before me in a train accident.”

“Do you wish to make changes?”

“Yes.”

Money means little to my family. The White family has been wealthy and powerful for generations.

If my fortune is a bucket of water, my siblings each have a lake.

“A few months ago, I came of age and inherited my estate. I’m planning to start a scholarship foundation in my name. Please put all my assets into that.”

Watching him take notes, I continued:

“I also have a lot of property, cash, bonds, and stocks. If…”

I closed my eyes, picturing a tragic future. This had nothing to do with the murderer Noah Ashford.

When I opened them, Mr. Smith was staring at me with concern.

Lowering my voice, I said:

“This must stay strictly between us. Can I trust you?”

“Of course. I swear to God.”

“If my niece Abigail’s health deteriorates… especially if it leads to a permanent disability…”

A sharp headache hit me.

Abigail, my eldest brother John’s only daughter, had suffered a severe fever. It left her unable to walk properly—and almost blind. I had gotten sick too when her fever spread to me.

Her eyes must be saved.

“If her vision worsens… Natalia has lax ethical standards when it comes to medical magic. I’ve already commissioned research at their Mage Tower. If I die, they’ll extract and preserve my eyes. Once the transplant magic is ready, give her my eyes. We’re family, so there should be minimal rejection. I’ll also cover all the surgery costs.”

Mr. Smith flinched. The idea of eye transplants seemed to disgust him, but his cough gave away that it was more sympathy than revulsion.

“Everything related to ships and construction should go to Isaac. And since Susan, his mother, doesn’t own a vacation home, I’ll leave all of mine to Isaac as well.”

At that moment, I heard familiar footsteps outside the door.

I whispered to Mr. Smith to hide the documents quickly and stood up just before the door opened.

“Croissant!”

I rushed to the door and picked up my little croissant—Isaac.

No matter how often I saw him, I always missed him. My precious nephew. My everything.

With him resting on my hip, I held his tiny body close. His warmth and delicate frame reassured me. I’m glad I turned back time.

My death is set in stone—but Isaac’s isn’t. That future must change.

“Didn’t you miss your aunt?”

I kissed his curly red hair, and Isaac giggled into my arms.

“Did you have fun at school? But hanging out with me is still the best, right?”

“Auntieee, stop calling me croissant.”

“Then what should I call you? Apple pie?”

“Auntiiiie!”

Looking at my adorable nephew, I knew with absolute certainty—I will kill that man.

Just then, Susan walked in and spotted Mr. Smith. Her expression darkened.

“What’s Mr. Smith doing here?”

Busted. I shrugged casually, pretending it was nothing serious.

“You two know each other?”

“He helped us during Aaron’s last lawsuit.”

Of course, sharp as she is, Susan already suspected the real reason for Mr. Smith’s visit. So I beat her to the punch.

“Isaac, do you like ships more or trains more?”

“Me? Trains!”

“Wow! Then maybe you’ll grow up to be a railroad tycoon like Uncle Aaron! In that case, I’ll leave the mining rights to you too. Abigail can have the cash and real estate—”

Susan cut me off with a frown. She looked livid.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Just getting things in order. It’s better to be prepared.”

“There’s no need to prepare anything yet. Mr. Smith, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll be seeing you soon about the promissory note lawsuit anyway, but I didn’t expect to run into you like this. I’ll call you Monday.”

Before I could stop her, she sent Mr. Smith away.

He didn’t have much choice—Susan was the largest shareholder of White Bank. She outranked me.

Honestly, it was weird to ask a corporate attorney to manage a will.

“Isaac, we’ll play cards another time. Go find Uncle Scott and ask him to play with you.”

As soon as Isaac left, Susan turned on me.

“Scarlett White! What are you doing?!”

“I was deciding what to give my beloved nephew. What else? Didn’t like the railroad? Should I give him land instead? Or cash?”

“We don’t need your pocket change. What’s gotten into you lately?”

“It’s not like me crying or lashing out is anything new.”

“What’s wrong? Talk to me. We’re on your side.”

“You’re on my side?”

Lies. Her words rubbed me the wrong way. If she were truly on my side, why had she kept Noah Ashford a secret from me?

The betrayal from the sister I trusted most sent a surge of complicated emotions crashing over me.

And when I looked at her—still clueless—I snapped.

“Noah Ashford killed me.”

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