Time Has Grown Dim, And Evening Has Already Fallen - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“If we could just forget everything that happened that day, our lives would return to the way they were.”

That was what Cheng Xun thought at first. As long as they could forget, as long as they could stay friends, everything would be restored.

But he never expected that he would be the one who couldn’t get used to it.

Habits are hard to break.

Trying to go back to “normal” after a best friend confesses their feelings is a paradoxical, impossible task.

That day, after Cheng Xun had bolted out of the infirmary in a panic, he went straight to the restroom to splash cold water on his face. The blood on his face was easy to clean, but the stains on his clothes were a problem. He looked like he’d just come out of a street fight.

When he looked back on that confession in the infirmary later, the memory always carried the bitter, faint metallic scent of rust.

He returned to the classroom before the bell rang for the end of class. PE had been the last period of the day, so most of the students were already rushing toward the cafeteria. Cheng Xun sat alone at his desk with his eyes closed, looking lonely and dejected.

Lu Xingshu didn’t go to eat either, but he didn’t return to the classroom right away. Instead, he went up to the rooftop of the teaching building alone, leaning against the railing and staring into space. No one knew when he had discovered this spot; he certainly hadn’t told Cheng Xun.

The iron door leading to the roof on this floor had been broken for a long time, and the school was too lazy to replace it. This made it a convenient spot for slackers to skip class. There were several cigarette butts on the ground—someone had been smoking here, leaving behind a lingering smell and littering, showing a concerning lack of manners.

A high wire mesh fence surrounded the edge of the roof to prevent students from jumping. Lu Xingshu leaned against the mesh, spacing out. The phone in his right pocket vibrated incessantly, but he didn’t want to answer.

Since he had promised Cheng Xun that they would remain friends, he had to force everything back to a state where it seemed like nothing had happened. But when you’ve been biased toward someone for so long, trying to “level the scales” feels forced and unnatural.

In two different places, the two of them were simultaneously wrestling with themselves.

Lu Xingshu didn’t enter the classroom until the first period of evening self-study. By then, everyone had already witnessed the “blood-stained glory” of Cheng Xun’s T-shirt. When Lu Xingshu had carried Cheng Xun to the infirmary, he had accidentally gotten quite a bit of blood on himself as well.

To the onlookers, it looked like they had gotten into a massive brawl that left them both battered and bloodied. Furthermore, Cheng Xun hadn’t spoken a word and looked pale, which only fueled the rumors that they had a falling out.

Cheng Xun was internally conflicted. He was the one who said they should go back to being friends; if he stayed this awkward, it would only make things weirder. But he found it impossible to joke around with Lu Xingshu as mindlessly as he used to.

In the end, all that remained between them was a suffocating silence.

Lu Xingshu had finished his papers and started on extra practice problems. The final exams of sophomore year were approaching, and the atmosphere in the class was growing tense. These were the final moments of being classmates, making every second feel precious.

Cheng Xun was also worried about his junior year. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in the same class as Lu Xingshu. Before, he would have thought being in different classes was inconvenient, but now, a part of him hoped they would be separated.

Cheng Xun stole a glance at Lu Xingshu and saw him focused on his work. Terrified of being caught, he quickly retracted his gaze. With Lu Xingshu’s grades, he would definitely be in the “fast track” class next year. As for himself…

Cheng Xun had improved a lot and was studying as hard as he could, but his grades remained stubbornly in the middle of the pack. While he wouldn’t end up in the remedial class, the elite class was likely out of reach. Hard work pays off, but “luck” doesn’t always follow effort. Many ordinary people work until they’re sick, only to achieve a slightly better version of being ordinary.

When evening self-study ended, Cheng Xun slowly packed his things into his bag. He expected Lu Xingshu to leave first, but to his surprise, the other boy sat quietly in his seat, waiting for him to finish.

Cheng Xun’s hand shook as he organized his things, feeling he was being far too sensitive. He tried to calm his heart, slung his bag over his shoulder, smiled at Lu Xingshu, and said, “Let’s go.”

Lu Xingshu didn’t speak; he just gave a silent nod.

The walk home was silent, with only the oppressive summer heat and the annoying drone of cicadas for company.

Once home, Cheng Xun pinched his collar to hide the stains, greeted Grandma, and bolted up to the second floor like a frightened rabbit. He didn’t want Grandma to see the nosebleed stains.

Back in the bedroom, he dropped his bag and pulled off his T-shirt. Thinking Lu Xingshu wouldn’t be up for a few minutes, he prepared to dash straight to the bathroom.

However, Lu Xingshu reached the doorway at that exact moment. The two of them nearly collided.

Cheng Xun’s body almost pressed flush against Lu Xingshu’s, and he could feel the heat radiating from the other’s body. His eyes widened as he scrambled backward, clutching his dirty T-shirt to his chest.

Normally, for two teenage boys sharing a room with only a fan and no AC in the summer, being shirtless wasn’t a big deal. But now that the nature of their relationship had shifted, those old habits felt wrong.

Lu Xingshu’s expression remained cool and indifferent. He stepped aside to let Cheng Xun pass. Cheng Xun kept his head down and ran, not looking at Lu Xingshu once.

The cold water washed over his skin, dissipating some of his fatigue and agitation. He couldn’t help but think his reaction had been too much—too frantic, too uncomfortable. No matter how much he wanted to forget or “paint over the cracks,” the fact that Lu Xingshu liked him was seared into his brain.

Cheng Xun suddenly felt that his “let’s be friends” line was laughable. Lu Xingshu treated him completely differently than he treated other friends. He kept a polite, cold distance from Liang Ziyan, but with Cheng Xun… had they ever even had a “safe distance”?

Distracted by his thoughts, Cheng Xun accidentally inhaled some soap suds, making his nose and throat sting. He shook his head and rinsed off the bubbles.

After stepping out of the shower and drying off, Cheng Xun realized he had made a catastrophic mistake.

He had forgotten to bring clean pajamas and… underwear.

If he pushed the door open and Lu Xingshu was right there, it would be another disaster. Cheng Xun looked at the small towel in his hand, wrapped it around his waist with a sense of immense shame, and slowly cracked the door open.

And there, he watched as a passing Lu Xingshu slowly turned into stone.