The White Moonlight Turns Out to Be a Black-Hearted Lotus - Chapter 32

Ji Yuanhui wanted to properly analyze the pros and cons with him; now was not the time to act. But the current Pei Xu was clearly in no state to listen.

Since Pei Xu insisted on going, Ji Yuanhui ordered the housekeeper to seal every gate and door of the manor, not allowing even a single fly to escape.

Once emotions flared, the words exchanged became quite unpleasant. The two had a quarrel and parted on bad terms.

In the end, Pei Xu went to sit in silence in the newly erected mourning hall, while Ji Yuanhui returned to his study in a fit of pique.

As evening approached, it began to rain, and the downpour showed signs of growing heavier.

Holding a book, Ji Yuanhui absentmindedly turned a page, his brow furrowed with anxiety.

I should probably sleep in the study tonight… we’re both angry right now; if we meet, we’ll likely just start fighting again.

He didn’t want to fight with Pei Xu. Rather than meeting only to trigger another dispute, it was better to avoid each other for a while so they could both calm down.

Ji Yuanhui felt certain he wasn’t in the wrong. Every action he took was to protect Pei Xu’s interests, yet Pei Xu showed no appreciation at all.

He felt a pang of sadness.

But the person who died was Pei Xu’s teacher—the one who had looked after him for a long time when he was a stranger in a foreign land with no relatives to turn to. Aside from this teacher, he had almost no family left. After working so hard for so long, they were finally on the verge of reuniting, only for this to be the result… To force him to be calm under such circumstances was indeed a bit cruel.

Pei Xu must be suffering terribly.

Ji Yuanhui sighed, put down his book, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Better to let things settle for a bit.

As he was lost in thought, Housekeeper Zhang knocked and entered.

“Master, Young Master Pei has come,” Housekeeper Zhang said. “He is currently under the veranda.”

Ji Yuanhui covered his face with the book, looking like he didn’t want to hear it. “It’s very late. Send him back and tell him to go to sleep early. I have business in the study tonight and won’t be heading over.”

Housekeeper Zhang acknowledged the order and went to deliver the message, but he returned shortly after.

“Young Master Pei refuses to leave…”

“It’s impossible for me to let him out of the house these few days. Tell him not to think about it.” Ji Yuanhui had a headache. He asked Housekeeper Zhang with some uncertainty, “Uncle Zhang, if I’m a bit stern with him and ignore him for a while, he’ll head back on his own, right?”

Housekeeper Zhang shook his head. “This old servant does not know.”

Housekeeper Zhang went out to deliver the message again. A few bolts of lightning flashed across the horizon, followed by the rumbling of thunder.

Ji Yuanhui had a faint feeling that this scene was familiar; he wasn’t sure if it was a delusion, but he seemed to have dreamed of it before.

Before long, Housekeeper Zhang returned and said to him, “Young Master Pei says that if you still refuse to let him out, he will stay there indefinitely.”

Ji Yuanhui asked, “Is he kneeling?”

Housekeeper Zhang was racking his brains for a way to subtly reveal this point when Ji Yuanhui asked it outright. Housekeeper Zhang nodded. “Master truly understands Young Master Pei…”

This is bad. Why does it seem to match up perfectly?

What happened next in the dream… Pei Xu fainted, and then it ended abruptly.

That dream was truly… why couldn’t he have dreamed of something earlier? Perhaps then he could have prevented the poisoning from happening.

Ji Yuanhui paced in circles in a panic, then strode straight outside.

The lightning reflected off Pei Xu’s face, making him look pale. Seeing Ji Yuanhui come out, he merely looked up at him, not saying a word.

His complexion was already this poor, yet he was still kneeling here in the damp air. Because of this mule-like stubbornness, a nameless fire rose in Ji Yuanhui’s heart, and his tone became forceful: “Go back.”

Pei Xu turned his face away. “No.”

“Go back,” Ji Yuanhui said, suppressing his temper. “We’ll go back and discuss it further.”

“There is no room for discussion,” Pei Xu said stubbornly. “He must die.”

Ji Yuanhui was so angry he turned to walk away, but after only two steps, he spun around and executed a successful sliding-kneel to catch the man just before the servant could shout, “Young Master Pei has fainted!”

He secretly wiped away a sweat in his heart. Luckily his reflexes were sharp; the ground was so cold, how could Pei Xu just collapse like that?

But Pei Xu didn’t seem to have fainted; his body had just swayed a moment ago. He seemed startled by Ji Yuanhui’s movement, his eyes filled with astonishment as he looked at him.

Ji Yuanhui didn’t care if he was truly fainting or faking it. He had already turned back and lost face, and since he already had the person in his arms, there was no reason to let go. He hooked his arm under Pei Xu’s knees and carried him back.

“I’m fine,” Pei Xu struggled slightly. “My legs just hurt a bit; I couldn’t keep the kneel.”

“I don’t care if you’re fine or not. I’m not listening.” Ji Yuanhui ignored his struggles and held him tightly. “You won’t listen to me, so why should I care what you say?”

Pei Xu knew his strength was like a kitten’s scratch compared to Ji Yuanhui’s, so he simply stopped moving.

Ji Yuanhui carried him back to the inner chamber, tossed him onto the bed, and began stripping off his clothes.

Pei Xu grabbed his hand. “What are you doing?”

“Are you going to sleep in these clothes that are dripping with dampness?” Ji Yuanhui stripped him until only a layer of undergarments remained. “If you don’t mind, I do. I don’t want my bed to be too damp to sleep in.”

Having finished, Ji Yuanhui turned and left, unsure of what he was going to do.

Pei Xu watched him for a moment, then wrapped himself in the quilt and tucked himself into the corner.

When Ji Yuanhui returned with the medicinal ointment, he saw Pei Xu curled into a ball.

Isn’t he hot in this weather…

Ji Yuanhui pulled at the quilt, but Pei Xu didn’t move. He simply flipped up the end of the quilt, grabbed Pei Xu’s ankle, and pulled his leg onto his own lap.

The knee was indeed bruised purple; no wonder he couldn’t keep the kneel.

Pei Xu’s ankle was held firm, and he couldn’t break free; this posture forced him to sit up. Ji Yuanhui didn’t look at him or speak; he just lowered his head to apply the medicine.

After applying the medicine, Ji Yuanhui also undressed and lay down on the bed.

Neither spoke. Ji Yuanhui felt very uncomfortable; since their marriage, the nights had never been this quiet. Even turning over felt like a massive commotion.

After lying there for an unknown amount of time, he couldn’t sleep at all.

He had long been used to sleeping with someone in his arms every day; with his arms empty, he simply couldn’t fall asleep.

Pei Xu was certainly no better off. They knew each other too well; although Pei Xu was trying his best to keep his breathing steady, Ji Yuanhui could tell perfectly well that he wasn’t asleep.

Neither of them felt sleepy.

The night was silent. Ji Yuanhui finally couldn’t endure this thick, silent darkness anymore. He finally moved, lifting a corner of Pei Xu’s quilt and gently embracing him from behind.

Within his arms was a familiar scent. Ji Yuanhui buried his face in the side of Pei Xu’s neck and took a deep breath. A certain void in his heart was finally filled, and for the first time tonight, he felt at peace.

Pei Xu didn’t move, which was a kind of unspoken permission. Despite their disagreement, he truly missed him. Anyway, the night was deep, and no one would know what happened here; he too feigned ignorance to trade for a moment of warmth.

“If you keep grieving like this, you’ll get sick again,” Ji Yuanhui whispered into his ear while holding him. “If you’re always getting sick, what am I supposed to do?”

Pei Xu pretended to be asleep and did not answer.

“If you’re going to be angry with me when you’re awake, then at least let me hold you for a bit while you’re ‘asleep.’ I’m actually quite sad.” Ji Yuanhui pressed his hand over Pei Xu’s heart. “Is your heart made of stone? How can you argue with me like this… how can you not speak to me properly?”

The more Ji Yuanhui thought about it, the more unbearable it became. He nibbled on the back of Pei Xu’s neck while saying, “I hate you to death. Everyone else is important, yet I’m the only one who is the least important in your heart.”

He knew Pei Xu wasn’t asleep, so he wasn’t afraid of waking him. He deliberately ground his teeth against the skin on the back of his neck in a sort of retaliatory friction.

He knew Pei Xu would definitely not “wake up” to face him at this moment.

Ji Yuanhui knew Pei Xu wasn’t asleep, and Pei Xu knew that Ji Yuanhui knew he was faking sleep, but both tacitly agreed not to expose it.

Let it be.

The nibbling eventually turned into kisses filled with a sense of pity. No matter how angry he was at first, in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to be unkind to him. He truly loved him.

During the day they sulked, and in the dead of night they held each other tightly. Two days passed in this awkward manner.

Without leaning against one another, they couldn’t even fall asleep.

Ji Yuanhui requested a leave of absence for Pei Xu from the Ministry of Justice and also took leave himself to stay home and watch him, fearing he might suddenly run off.

On the third day, Madam Lu arrived.

The tears Pei Xu had held back for several days finally poured out all at once. He leaned against the elderly lady’s knees and cried until he was breathless.

Perhaps because the person who had been best to him since childhood was his mother, he always found it difficult to control his emotions in front of female elders.

If possible, Ji Yuanhui would have liked to ask Madam Lu to stay for a few more days. But as the weather was getting warmer, Master Lu had to return to his hometown as soon as possible.

Fearing any accidents on the road for Madam Lu, Ji Yuanhui dispatched many family servants to escort her the whole way.

Three days had passed; even at a slow pace, Wang Yin should have left the capital by now. Thus, Ji Yuanhui finally relaxed the restrictions on the manor and no longer blocked Pei Xu from entering or leaving.

What made Ji Yuanhui suffer was that at night, Pei Xu still curled himself up against the wall to sleep, ignoring him.

Ji Yuanhui sighed and stroked his hair from behind.

Pei Xu smoothed his hair and gathered it all in front of his chest.

Ji Yuanhui tugged at his clothes again.

Pei Xu rolled over and glared back at him.

“Why are you glaring at me…”

Pei Xu said, “We are in a fight.”

“It’s just a fight; what husband and wife don’t fight?” Ji Yuanhui reached out, hooked his arm around his back to pull him over, and gripped his calf, forcefully pulling his leg over his own body. His gaze remained fixed on him, staring him down. “You said you love me. Do you stop loving me just because we’re fighting?”

Pei Xu fell silent again.

“It hasn’t been just one or two days; it’s already been three.” Ji Yuanhui pinched his chin, forcing him to look up. “You’re so far away from me, and I’m unhappy.”

The two stared at each other for a moment before Pei Xu looked away again.

“Speak.” Ji Yuanhui was extremely dissatisfied. The hand on Pei Xu’s calf moved up and gave a pinch to his inner thigh. “As soon as you’re unhappy, you just shut up and don’t speak. What kind of habit is that?”

Pei Xu frowned in pain. “You’re being mean to me again.”

“I’m not just being mean to you, I want to f*** you,” Ji Yuanhui said through gritted teeth. “That mule-like temper of yours really makes my teeth itch with frustration.”

Pei Xu’s eyes widened. “You can’t…”

“If I had planned to, I would have made a move long ago. I’m just thinking about it.” Ji Yuanhui ground his teeth. “That stubborn temper of yours is so infuriating. Can’t I just think about it to vent my frustration?”

“Why…”

“Asking ‘why’ again.” Ji Yuanhui pressed his hand over Pei Xu’s heart. “Why else? Because I like you, I can’t bear to see you cry, and I’m unwilling to force you.”

Pei Xu continued his silence.

A moment later, he said in a low voice, “I hate you…”

“Starting to hate me again?” Ji Yuanhui pinched his jaw to look at him, feeling a bit angry. “Not the time when you liked me anymore? Truly fickle.”

Pei Xu suddenly looked up and kissed the corner of his lips.

Ji Yuanhui was stunned for a moment, not immediately reacting. “What is this for? Aren’t we fighting?”

Pei Xu had already propped himself up to sit on top of him, answering with Ji Yuanhui’s own words: “It’s just a fight.”

“So sudden?” Ji Yuanhui leaned against the headboard, supporting his waist. “Without any preparation, can you take it?”

Pei Xu didn’t answer. His brow was furrowed, looking as though he were in some distress. If Pei Xu was uncomfortable, Ji Yuanhui naturally wasn’t much better, and even his words became sparse.

At first, it was too difficult, and neither dared to move recklessly; it took quite a while for things to become harmonious.

“I hate you…”

“Be a bit worse to me.” Pei Xu’s expression was sorrowful; he pleaded with a hint of desperation. “Don’t be too good to me…”

“I won’t.” Ji Yuanhui brushed aside his hair, tucked it behind his ear, and then cupped his face for a kiss. “You’re allowed to be stubborn, but I’m not?”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re not good to me, but don’t be good to me and then abandon me…” Pei Xu blinked, and a tear fell. “It would be better if you were always just a bit mean to me.”

“I won’t abandon you…” Ji Yuanhui kissed away his tears, his gaze locked onto him. “I’ll haunt you for a lifetime.”

“Not just this life, but the next, and for generations to come.”

“There will never be a ghost more clingy than me.”