The Venomous Wife Let Me Go - Chapter 40

Bai Jun could find no reason to refuse, as Lin Song had blocked every possible excuse. She could only watch as Lin Song approached, then she shifted inward to make room for Lin Song to sleep beside her. As soon as Lin Song slid under the covers, she habitually reached out and interlaced her fingers with Bai Jun’s.

“Weren’t you scared watching the movie today?” Lin Song asked beside her after lying down, seemingly knowing she wasn’t asleep.

“No, I wasn’t.”

As Lin Song spoke, her breath brushed against Bai Jun’s ear. Lin Song seemed to be sleeping while facing her. Realizing this, Bai Jun felt unaccustomed to such an intimate posture and quietly shifted further back again.

Thinking back on the situation, Bai Jun’s face still felt a bit hot. At the cinema, she had been too preoccupied with her own fluttering heart, and later she became so immersed in the plot that she didn’t feel any fear at all. However, she didn’t dare explain her feelings to Lin Song; the affection of a bully like her would surely be a burden to Lin Song.

“That’s good.” Lin Song laughed softly, as if a weight had been lifted from her mind.

At the sound of Lin Song’s laugh, Bai Jun felt even more flustered. Fearing Lin Song might think of some other way to retaliate, she shifted further inward to lower her presence. She couldn’t help but recall the scenes of walking through crowds without a mask during the day. Although she hadn’t been discovered and had gradually adapted to the feeling, thinking about it now still left her with a lingering sense of fear.

Lin Song seemed to be thinking of new ways to torment her, or perhaps she had grown sleepy, as she finally stopped talking. Bai Jun breathed a sigh of relief, though she still felt awkward. She continued to shift inward until her back was nearly against the corner of the wall. However, one of her hands was still held in Lin Song’s, making it very uncomfortable to sleep in that position.

She took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and carefully began to withdraw her hand inch by inch. Just as she succeeded and was about to feel relieved, Lin Song’s hand landed on her waist. A surge of strength followed, and she was pulled entirely into Lin Song’s embrace.

“Can’t you sleep?”

She struggled, wanting to move away again, but Lin Song’s hand slid down and gave her a firm, light slap on a certain part of her body!

She… actually hit her there?!

Bai Jun was filled with both shame and disbelief. Her eyes widened in the darkness; she was completely stunned! She heard Lin Song’s slightly husky voice: “If you can’t sleep and keep moving around, we can do something else. You know,” Lin Song added with emphasis and hidden meaning, “I am very interested in your body.”

Bai Jun didn’t dare move again. Lin Song was truly terrifying right now; she feared Lin Song might actually do something to her!

“Why did you stop moving?” As she grew still, Lin Song’s voice carried a hint of dissatisfaction. “Didn’t you say you wanted to atone for your sins?”

Lin Song lowered her head again, catching Bai Jun’s earlobe and slowly nibbling it. Hot breath rushed into Bai Jun’s ear.

“I originally planned to use your old methods against you. Your favorite thing to do was to wake me up while I was sleeping. Sometimes you would even tie my hands with your pajama sleeves. I would cry and beg you to stop, but you would say that since you spent money to marry me, nothing you did was too much. Sometimes, you wouldn’t stop after once or twice; you would push me into the bathroom and continue to torment me.”

Lin Song once again blatantly swapped the protagonist of her dreams and spoke into Bai Jun’s ear: “Do you want to hear more, Sister Junjun?”

Sensing Bai Jun curling her body up, Lin Song’s lips curled as she continued her ambiguous whispering. She loved calling Bai Jun “Sister”; it made all her heartache and protectiveness toward Bai Jun feel righteous. She should have started calling her that sooner. Bai Jun always prided herself on being two years older and insisted she was the older sister. But mentally, Lin Song was much more mature. Besides, what “sister” would be like her, dreaming about Bai Jun all day long?

If possible, she wanted to force the post-memory-recovery Bai Jun to call her “Sister” in the future. Just the thought of it made Lin Song incredibly excited. Unfortunately, fearing it might worsen Bai Jun’s condition, she couldn’t do anything to her now; she could only indulge in verbal teasing. After all, Bai Jun couldn’t remember anything anyway. It would actually be better if Bai Jun remembered everything. She looked forward to the reaction of the prim and proper Bai Jun when she recalled everything—under Lin Song’s deliberate indulgence, they had done everything except the final step. She didn’t believe Bai Jun would still treat her like a younger sister.

Moreover, she had noticed that whenever she brought these things up, the ashamed and annoyed Bai Jun was far more vibrant than usual.

“Stop talking!” Hearing Lin Song’s suggestive voice, Bai Jun’s body felt weak and burning hot. She desperately wanted to vanish into the floor. She would rather walk through the streets a hundred times without a mask than have Lin Song carry out any of those things on her! Ugh! How could she have been so wicked in the past? No wonder Lin Song had such a strange temperament; it must have been tortured out of her.

“Then be good, close your eyes and go to sleep.” Lin Song lightly stroked her back and softened her voice. “I’m very tired right now and won’t do anything to you. But if you keep moving around, I can’t guarantee that…”

Bai Jun immediately didn’t dare move again. Her forehead rested against Lin Song’s chin as she huddled in her embrace and tightly closed her eyes. She thought she wouldn’t be able to sleep. After all, Lin Song’s scent and heartbeat were so clear, leaving her mind in a mess. However, listening to Lin Song’s heartbeat and the effects of the medicine kicking in, she drifted off to sleep before she knew it. Perhaps because the images Lin Song described were so vivid, she dreamt about Lin Song again.

In her dream, she saw a sleeping Lin Song. She watched her dream-self approach quietly, desperately wanting to wake herself up so she wouldn’t do the bad things Lin Song had described. However, she couldn’t wake up no matter what. She saw herself get onto the bed and pull over half the blanket, but almost as soon as she touched the edge of the bed, the seemingly sleeping Lin Song opened her eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she heard the dream-Lin Song say softly. Then, the two of them began to kiss. She utterly loathed herself, even wondering if this dream was something that had actually happened. But then she realized it was indeed just a dream—because in the dream, the person who was crying and saying “no more” until her throat was hoarse was her. In the dream, she was both ashamed and annoyed, yet she felt a sense of relief. At least she hadn’t become the culprit who hurt Lin Song in her dream.

Because of that dream, Bai Jun felt a bit embarrassed to face Lin Song the next day. But Lin Song still pulled her out for another disguised outing. Using the excuse of thanking her for sleeping with her, Lin Song gave her another bouquet of fresh flowers. In the past, she used to feel a sense of loss whenever she saw flowers wither, but now that feeling was gone—because Lin Song would continuously give her new flowers, as if they would never fade.

This time, the two of them went to a farmhouse in a nearby village and picked many grapes. Lin Song then drove the grapes to Uncle and Auntie Li’s house. They had lunch there, helped the couple clean the grapes, and put them in jars to brew, agreeing to come back in a year to drink the grape wine. After lunch, Lin Song took her for a massage. She felt like her body was falling apart from the pain, and the therapist kept saying she sat too much and her cervical spine was misaligned. On the other hand, Lin Song, who exercised regularly, was very flexible and just sat on the neighboring bed watching her with a smile. However, after the massage, her whole body did feel much more comfortable.

After the massage, Lin Song pulled her back to Lakeside Park to continue drawing. This time, her painting had begun to take shape. Lin Song clearly recognized that she had painted the two of them from behind. Lin Song didn’t object to the back view but made another request.

“Why is there such a distance between the two? This is me and my White Moonlight! I don’t care; I want them holding hands, or even hugging and kissing.”

Bai Jun had no choice but to negotiate with Lin Song for a long time. They compromised on a back view where the figure representing Bai Jun held Lin Song’s arm as they walked together. After drawing for over an hour, Bai Jun led her back down the mountain. This time, Lin Song took her to a night market street. A few days ago, Bai Jun had been terrified of everything and didn’t dare appear in crowded places. Now, although still afraid, she no longer felt that trembling urge to shiver.

Lin Song bought her a few types of food that looked relatively clean and took photos with her using passersby. On the way back, Bai Jun organized the photos in the car and realized she had unknowingly taken many photos with Lin Song. Although the journey to find the White Moonlight had only just begun, looking at the photos, it felt as if many days had passed. She cherished and saved all the photos. Then, her phone received a message from her sister, Bai Hong.

“Sister Junjun, how have you been these past few days? I’ve gone abroad again for medical treatment. Principal Huang has a gift I left for you; remember to visit the village when you have time.”

Thinking of Bai Hong, who always cared for her, Bai Jun felt a warmth in her heart. She couldn’t help but hide the fact that she was atoning for her sins and sent a smiley face. “I’m doing well. I’ve been traveling and relaxing lately. Take good care of yourself and don’t worry about me. I’ll visit you when you return.” Bai Hong was likely with her aunt right now, and Bai Jun didn’t want to run into her.

“Thank you, Sister Junjun.” Bai Hong didn’t type this sentence; she sent a voice message. Her voice was very light, as if it would dissipate with the wind. “In my heart, Sister Junjun has always been the best sister in the world. You must take good care of yourself.”

“I will, and you too.” Bai Hong didn’t reply further.

Bai Jun closed her phone, a smile involuntarily appearing on her lips. She realized once again that she might not be so bad, because in the hearts of Uncle and Auntie Li and Bai Hong, she was a good person. She still couldn’t understand why her aunt had turned against her when she cared so much for her and everything could have been negotiated. But now, she didn’t care much about the reason anymore; some relationships are simply not meant to be forced.

The two returned home. Using fear as an excuse, Lin Song once again climbed into her bed. Familiar with the routine now, she didn’t dare move toward the edge. Held by Lin Song, they chatted idly. Lin Song told some funny stories from her filming days. Perhaps because they were in a good mood, the atmosphere between them was surprisingly harmonious.

Bai Jun didn’t know when she fell asleep, only that when she woke up, it was raining outside. It was raining. Lin Song didn’t go out this time. She ordered a lot of food for delivery and started a hot pot at home for lunch. As before, Lin Song forbade her from helping in the kitchen to atone for her sins. Only this time, her reason was: “I’m already used to being the only one in the kitchen.”

In the afternoon, they watched a movie using the projector. The movie was also chosen by Lin Song—a film about souls and the afterlife.

“Death is only a physical farewell, but the spirits of the deceased will forever guard those they love. They are the brilliant sunshine, the beautiful flowers, and every person with good intentions… they are the eternal, continuous blessings and hope.”

After watching the movie, Bai Jun was in tears. She felt incredibly embarrassed, crying so hard she could barely make a sound. However, Lin Song showed extraordinary patience, holding her in her arms and constantly comforting her, even tenderly kissing away her tears.

She drifted off to sleep in a daze. Amid the sound of raindrops, Bai Jun finally remembered the cause of her mother’s death. She dreamt once again of the blood downstairs that hadn’t been cleaned up in time. After that, it was the closed emergency ward. She saw her father kneeling before her grandfather.

“I really don’t know why Shiqing would think of jumping off the building. It’s all my fault for being busy with work and not taking care of her lately. I didn’t know she was already in the late stages of cancer…”

She heard the doctor’s cold pronouncement once again: “I’m sorry, we did our best.”

It felt as if a violent wind had swept past her, shattering everything she was familiar with. During the summer vacation when she was twelve, her mother discovered she was seriously ill and planned to seek treatment secretly. Fearing Bai Jun would worry, she sent her to her grandfather’s house. However, on the morning just as the summer vacation was ending, she suddenly jumped from the rooftop without any warning.

All of Bai Jun’s happiness came to an abrupt halt; at twelve years old, she lost her mother. She couldn’t understand why her mother chose to leave her so resolutely, and she hated herself even more for not noticing anything wrong and being by her mother’s side during her most painful time. She seemed to be forever trapped in that day. She never dared to look down from high places again, nor did she dare return to that home, let alone witness any bloody scenes.

She always felt that perhaps her mother blamed her, which was why she never appeared in her dreams. But this time, she seemed to hear a sigh in her dream: “Silly child, I have always been by your side!”

She had almost forgotten: she was the daughter her mother was most proud of during her lifetime. Although her mother often complained about her in private, she always held her head high and smiled when mentioning her to others. Her mother was very strict with her because she was destined to inherit the Bai family business and carry heavy responsibilities; she had to be prepared. Yet, upon realizing she had no yearning for love, her mother would have long, worried talks with her.

“Junjun, you don’t understand now, but I hope you can choose the person you love when you grow up. I’m working so hard now so that you can be free and have the confidence to be with the person you love in the future. Your health and happiness are incredibly important to me.”

For so many years, self-reproach and guilt had tortured her every moment, yet she had forgotten: her mother didn’t want her to become like this. Her mother wanted her to be a happy Bai Jun. She should live on happily with the gentle breeze, the bright moon, and the beautiful flowers, carrying her mother’s love. Life is a great cycle. One day, she and her mother would eventually meet again in another world.

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