The Venomous Wife Let Me Go - Chapter 30.1

Bai Jun could not refuse Lin Song when she was like this.

Especially now, when she felt such deep guilt toward her. She had bullied Lin Song as a child, forced her into marriage, and was now divorcing her after such a short time; one could only imagine the profound damage this would cause Lin Song. Furthermore, Lin Song had been a public figure, so her desire to keep the marriage hidden for now was perfectly understandable.

Thus, Bai Jun agreed. They arranged for Lin Song to pick her up from the village the following afternoon. Looking at Lin Song’s haggard face on the video call, she couldn’t help but urge: “Remember to eat more. You’ve become so thin.”

After saying this, she felt she had no right to offer words of concern. Fearing Lin Song’s reaction, she hung up the phone in an act of avoidance.

After the call, she felt dazed. She couldn’t stop herself from opening the video app and rewatching The Rebel as a form of self-torture. Watching the Lin Song on the screen, who was treated so poorly by her yet remained incredibly gentle and kind, she wished she could jump into the television and slap her younger self.

Truly, bad people get their comeuppance.

When she was committing those evil acts, she likely never imagined that one day she would fall in love with Lin Song and marry her. A few days ago, she felt fate was being cruel to her, but now she realized fate was simply upholding justice; she had no right to feel sorry for herself.

She scrolled through the comments, piecing together the truth in the eyes of the world: she had bullied Lin Song as a child. To save face, the Bai Group had sponsored Lin Song’s education, but later, she had been blinded by lust and insisted on marrying her. Unable to sway her, her grandfather had paid Lin Song’s agency a massive sum of money. Whether it was a case of her using past favors to demand a reward or other entanglements of interest, Lin Song had eventually married her.

She had married a great beauty, yet didn’t restrain herself after the wedding. She went to a doll shop with an unknown woman, and just a few days ago, while the company was in crisis, she had leisurely gone on a date with an ex-girlfriend.

Bai Jun felt the accusation of messing around after marriage was somewhat unfair. She loved Lin Song so much and had been entirely devoted to her since waking up. Lin Song knew about the doll shop incident, and as for meeting Song Yu, she only now realized the media had blown it up into a scandal.

If it were before, she would have explained it to Lin Song, but it didn’t matter anymore. Adding or removing one more mark from her record as a wicked woman made no difference; Lin Song probably wouldn’t care much anyway. She had forgotten the past, but the footage in the program could not be faked. She was a wicked woman, notorious and loathsome.

She tried to put herself in Lin Song’s shoes: if she were Lin Song and saw the person who had always bullied her suddenly lose their memory and become utterly dependent on her, she would also want to play along, watching that person struggle like a little white mouse, obsessed with her.

She couldn’t blame Lin Song, nor anyone else. She could only blame herself.

She was a wicked woman. She was so tired. Truly so tired. She was like a ship rocking on the sea, unable to find the shore. If it were possible, she would pay any price to go back to being twelve years old. Back when she hadn’t become unrecognizable. When the important people were still by her side. When she still had the right to love.

She felt her twenty-seven-year-old self must have deeply regretted being a bad person, which led to the self-reproach and subsequent depression. But the damage was done; what use was regret? She couldn’t stand this disgusting version of herself. She couldn’t bear that the girl who once loved life, the scent of flowers, and hoped for happiness and freedom had become this scarred, pathetic creature who bullied others and was assimilated by the world’s darkness.

Her head felt like it was going to explode. Curled in a corner, she punched the wall. Her hand hurt, her heart hurt even more, but it seemed she could no longer shed tears.

Sleep. After falling asleep, everything will be fine. That voice called to her from her subconscious again.

Trembling, she took the medicine from her pocket. She ignored the large bruise on the back of her hand and opened the bottle. One pill didn’t seem like enough, so she took two at once. The familiar dizziness surged again. She finally fell asleep as she wished.

But her dreams were not peaceful. In a trance, she saw herself driving.

“Grandfather is gone. Our marriage no longer has a reason to exist. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have agreed to this farce in the first place.” She heard herself speaking in a steady tone, but she could feel that her heart didn’t believe those words at the time. It was so painful; every word felt like a knife carving into her heart.

“I don’t agree,” Lin Song said from the passenger seat, “Sister Jun-jun, I want to stay with you, at least.”

But Lin Song didn’t finish her sentence. A speeding truck came head-on.

Bai Jun had dabbled in racing abroad, and the car she was driving was high-performance; there was actually a high chance she could have escaped unscathed. But at that moment, she was so tired. She suddenly wanted to end it all and fall into a dark, eternal sleep. Her emotions were uncontrollable, like a bottomless dark abyss. She didn’t know how to love, and everything around her made her increasingly weary. She shouldn’t drag Lin Song into this anymore.

So, she closed her eyes, turned the steering wheel, and faced the truck completely.

Boom! A loud crash. In the moment the sharp pain hit, she looked up and seemed to see her younger self standing in the flames, hands on her hips, smiling mockingly at her: “How did you become like this, Bai Jun?”

Perhaps because she took two pills, the side effects were increasingly obvious. When she woke the next day to the sound of knocking on the door, she still couldn’t quite react.

The lawyer brought the divorce agreement. Such an agreement was easy to draft because Bai Jun wanted nothing; it was a total clean break departure.

“Hey! Why are you so different from the person on TV?” The lawyer looked at her and couldn’t help but frown. “At first, I thought you were hiding assets, but then I found out you paid so much to those migrant workers that you have less left than I do. You’re leaving with nothing; how are you going to pay my legal fees?”

“It’s not convenient for me to collect money now; I’ll be ready in a month. At that time, come to my firm. I’ll give you a forty percent discount and buy you a bowl of beef noodles. The place in the alley next to my firm is delicious, great broth, generous toppings. The owner loves telling stories. When you’re troubled, just sit there with a steaming bowl of noodles and a few bottles of wine, have a good cry, and everything will be fine.”

“I was going to talk to you about that,” Bai Jun rubbed her eyes and spoke softly, “I might be a bit late with the payment. I have a job. Even though the company was acquired, I will still be blending perfumes for the Bai Group. Once my salary comes in, I’ll pay you on time.”

“That’s good,” the lawyer waved his hand, interrupting her, “This job didn’t earn much anyway, not even one percent of what your father gave me. If you don’t relent, I probably won’t get the money from your father’s side, so you better not stand me up.”

The lawyer rambled for a long while before finally leaving. Principal Huang came to bring her food and was very worried about her complexion. She wanted to take her to the hospital, but Bai Jun only said she hadn’t slept well and wanted to rest more after taking her medicine.

She sat in her chair in a daze, staring blankly at the ceiling, her mind filled with a thousand thoughts yet thinking of nothing at all. It wasn’t until the alarm she set, fearing she would oversleep, went off that she realized Lin Song would arrive in half an hour.

She stood up slowly and looked in the mirror. The woman in the mirror looked back. She was haggard, her eyes vacant and lifeless like a pool of stagnant water, as if nothing could cause a stir in them anymore. This was exactly what her twenty-seven-year-old self looked like in her dream.

Bai Jun rubbed her face, suddenly jolting awake. She was about to say goodbye to Lin Song, and it was highly likely she would never see her again. She didn’t want Lin Song to remember her in this pale, dejected state.

She took a deep breath, applied some light makeup, and tried to force the corners of her mouth upward. But it seemed she could no longer smile. It looked so bad. No wonder even the lawyer was shocked into offering a strange form of comfort.

Forget it, divorce wasn’t exactly something to smile about. She gave up on smiling at herself and opened the wardrobe. She had only brought a few outfits with her, and none of them felt right. Not until Lin Song called to say she’d be there in five minutes did she snap out of it, quickly throwing on her most common outfit and heading downstairs.

The car Lin Song drove was very low-profile, not her usual model. She was also wearing a mask, revealing only her beautiful eyes. Bai Jun sat in the passenger seat with the divorce agreement. Lin Song still smelled of the perfume she liked, but smelling it now, her heart full of sweetness had turned to bitterness. She probably would never be able to develop a perfume filled with such sweetness again.

“I recently bought a newly renovated house in the city center nearby,” Lin Song’s voice was very natural, “It’s near the highway entrance, about a thirty-minute drive from the office and thirty minutes from the village. How about we go there to sit down and talk?”

“Whatever is convenient for you.” Bai Jun closed her eyes. Although Lin Song didn’t say it, this house was clearly prepared for her. Lin Song was always like this, thoughtful, meticulous, and faultless in her arrangements. Her nose began to sting, but in this situation, she didn’t know what to say, so she could only close her eyes and pretend to sleep.

“Is Jun-jun unwilling to even look at me now?” Lin Song glanced at her and let out a soft sigh. For some reason, she let out a low, downward laugh.

“No.” Bai Jun pursed her lips, not understanding Lin Song’s reaction. At this moment, she only wished time could be infinitely extended so she could stay with Lin Song a little longer.

But she couldn’t speak. She was afraid that once she opened her mouth, her reluctance would be exposed, and she would continue to hold Lin Song back. She had no right to beg for Lin Song’s forgiveness; her life was a mess, and she couldn’t selfishly drag Lin Song into it too. Could she still be a good person in the future? Bai Jun didn’t know. She only knew she had no goals, could feel no joy or anger, and just wanted to sleep every day.

However, the passage of time would not slow down for her sake. The car entered a residential area and stopped at a villa. It was a detached villa with no neighbors nearby, surrounded by high walls to block out the outside world. Such a villa looked very much like a luxury prison.

“We’re here.” Lin Song drove the car into the underground garage and took Bai Jun up the elevator to the study.

“I’ll go get you a glass of water.” Lin Song finally removed her mask and went to the kitchen.

With Lin Song gone, Bai Jun’s tense body relaxed slightly. She pursed her lips and surveyed her surroundings. Perhaps because no one had lived here, the bookshelves on all four walls were empty, and the curtains were all black. Even in the daytime, the room felt incredibly gloomy and stifling.

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