The Tragic Heroine Fell in Love with Me - Chapter 81

No words are more hurtful than the four words “I don’t believe you.”

Zheng Qi stared blankly at Xiao San, her expression and movements frozen in place.

She had never imagined that Xiao San would say those words to her.

After all, Xiao San had always shown trust in her no matter what she did, Xiao San had always stood up for her, always had her back. Even in situations where it was clearly her fault, Xiao San would stand by her side, finding all sorts of excuses for her.

She felt proud.

She felt happy.

She felt smug.

But now…

“I don’t believe you.”

Xiao San no longer believed her?

She looked at Xiao San, tears involuntarily streaming down her face.

This time, it wasn’t a hypocritical performance, they were genuine tears.

Zheng Qi’s lips trembled as she asked, “San’er, what did you say?”

“I said I don’t believe you anymore. I hate myself like this. Every word you say, I have to constantly analyze. I keep wondering if you’re deliberately trying to mislead me with your words.”

“Every move you make, I have to question whether you’re pretending.”

“Do you know, when I saw the wounds on your arm, my first thought wasn’t heartache, but whether you intentionally showed them to me to make me feel sorry for you, to make me accept all your lies.”

“San’er, I didn’t…”

“You see, that’s the difference,” Xiao San said with a bitter smile. “You say you didn’t. If it were before, I would have believed you without a doubt. But now, I analyze your actions, your expression, your tone when you say ‘I didn’t’ all of it is just deception, isn’t it?”

“San’er, I never intended to deceive you.”

“That time at the swimming pool, did you want to drown me?” Xiao San suddenly asked.

Zheng Qi fell silent.

At that time, her thought had indeed been that if Xiao San disappeared, Shen Lin would no longer be obsessed with her.

But now, she couldn’t bring herself to say such a thing.

Nor could she deny it, because denying it would mean deceiving Xiao San.

She was caught in a dilemma.

“You’re not saying anything, which means I guessed right,” Xiao San continued. “Every time Shen Lin and I talked, you would show up. And every time Shen Lin appeared, you would disappear for a while. Did you do it on purpose? Did you disappear to go find Shen Lin?”

Zheng Qi had no explanation. She could only remain silent, utterly silent.

“At that time.” Zheng Qi said, “I did like Shen Lin, but…”

“Whether you liked Shen Lin or not,” Xiao San interrupted, “I always knew you had feelings for him. But does that conflict with your repeated deceptions? Was I not good enough to you? Why did you keep deceiving me, treating me like a fool to be played with?”

“You were good to me. I just…” Zheng Qi began.

“You just wanted to deceive me. You said you liked Shen Lin, so you were wary of me, I can understand that. But after we got together, you had so many chances to explain. Why didn’t you?”

Zheng Qi closed her eyes. Every word Xiao San said was a reminder of the mistakes she had made. She had no grounds to refute any of it.

“You say your grandmother passed away, so you’re grieving, but in reality, you’re just trying to exploit my sympathy. I can accept your apology, but you’ve deceived me too many times.” Xiao San was exhausted, her tone growing heavier. “I can’t keep making excuses for you anymore, Zheng Qi. I’ve imagined countless possibilities, waiting for your explanation for so long, but all I’ve received is more concealment and deceit. Zheng Qi, how can I possibly trust you?”

Zheng Qi’s tears fell continuously. She bit her lip, struggling not to make a sound.

Her head drooped lower and lower, as if she wished it could sink through the floor.

Behind her was a dense, oppressive darkness, an expression Zheng Qi had never worn before.

“Let’s break up,” Xiao San said.

This was Xiao San’s decision after careful consideration.

Once trust is broken, it’s difficult to mend.

Xiao San didn’t want to spend her days consumed by suspicion. No matter what, Zheng Qi was someone she had loved, and she didn’t want their parting to be ugly.

“Break up?” Zheng Qi lifted her head, the tears on her face already gone, as if evaporated by the air.

Xiao San suddenly felt afraid, a fear akin to encountering a venomous snake, the kind that stiffens your entire body.

“What are you doing?” Xiao San asked.

Zheng Qi didn’t do anything. She just looked at Xiao San with a cold, calculating gaze.

“You want to leave me?” Zheng Qi said.

Xiao San explained, “It’s not about leaving you. But you’re getting married too. Can’t we part on good terms?”

“San’er, I told you, I won’t marry Shen Lin.”

Xiao San closed her eyes.

“Even if you keep me from going out, I still read the news. The news of your marriage to Shen Lin is all over the headlines. I even know your wedding date. Zheng Qi, stop deceiving yourself. If you’re going to marry Shen Lin, you should break up with me.”

“I won’t marry Shen Lin, and I won’t break up with you either.” Zheng Qi walked toward Xiao San.

She had been standing by the door earlier, as if the doorway was a boundary she dared not cross, speaking only from outside.

But now, that boundary was broken. Step by step, she approached Xiao San, looking down at her from above. “You absolutely cannot leave my side.”

“Zheng Qi.”

“I won’t let you leave.”

Zheng Qi’s words didn’t seem directed at Xiao San but rather at herself.

“You want to leave me because I’m marrying Shen Lin, right? It’s fine. I’ll cancel the wedding immediately.”

“Zheng Qi, I’m not forcing you to break up with Shen Lin. I just want you to understand that it’s impossible for us.”

Before Xiao San could finish, Zheng Qi immediately grabbed her chin. “There is no ‘impossible’ between us.”

After saying this, Zheng Qi released Xiao San and gently rubbed the spot on her chin where she had gripped it. The area was instantly reddened, with marks on both cheeks.

“San’er, don’t make me angry. I don’t want to hurt you. If you get hurt, it will pain me.” She lightly pressed her lips against Xiao San’s cheek, planting a kiss on the reddened spot.

Xiao San lowered her eyes, noticing the abnormality in Zheng Qi’s expression.

There was also the sensation of the scars left by Zheng Qi’s palm as it brushed against her chin.

“Zheng Qi, you scared me,” Xiao San said, suppressing the urge to flee.

“I’m sorry, San’er,” Zheng Qi replied, resting her chin on Xiao San’s shoulder. She leaned against Xiao San, their skin touching, yet the two felt as distant as if they were worlds apart.

“Let’s go hiking together tomorrow, okay?” Zheng Qi pleaded coyly. “We can pray for love, draw fortune slips, and hang a love lock together, alright?”

“Zheng Qi, you never used to believe in these things. Do you remember? You wouldn’t even worship the Buddha.”

“If it’s for you, I can believe in the Buddha, in Taoism, in everything. I just want you by my side, okay?”

Xiao San clenched her teeth tightly, unwilling to utter a single word.

How could she agree? Agree that she wouldn’t leave?

After discovering so many of Zheng Qi’s deceptions, how could she possibly stay?

She simply couldn’t trust Zheng Qi anymore.

She could accept that Zheng Qi wasn’t as gentle as she had imagined, but she couldn’t bear the constant suspicion she now felt toward Zheng Qi.

Just like all of Zheng Qi’s confessions now in her eyes, they could all be an act, a pretense of affection.

Xiao San wanted to say that she had never had any feelings for Shen Lin.

If Zheng Qi was doing all this because of Shen Lin, there was no need.

But then Xiao San wondered, maybe Zheng Qi truly did love her?

Yet, how could she believe any of it?

Zheng Qi left because she still had many things to attend to.

Xiao San could sense the restlessness emanating from Zheng Qi. Even though she was cooking, seemingly as serene as before in the same space, Xiao San could feel Zheng Qi’s eagerness to leave.

This was another reason she couldn’t believe Zheng Qi truly loved her.

After Zheng Qi left, Xiao San finally had a moment to breathe.

She packed her things. She had already broken up with Zheng Qi, and as for tomorrow’s plan to pray for love, Xiao San had never agreed to it.

She had said so many hurtful things to Zheng Qi, and she believed Zheng Qi wouldn’t return so quickly.

Xiao San still wore the necklace Zheng Qi had given her. There were many other belongings of hers in the house, but she didn’t want to take them. The necklace alone would suffice, a memento, at least.

Xiao San pulled her suitcase along. The main door was locked, but she had anticipated this and had already booked a locksmith online.

Soon, the locksmith arrived and opened the door.

Xiao San paid him, closed the door properly, and walked away with her suitcase.

She didn’t know where to go. If she went home, Zheng Qi would surely follow.

Her parents adored Zheng Qi and would unquestioningly believe whatever she said.

But Xiao San didn’t want to explain Zheng Qi’s actions to her parents. Even if it might all be a lie, she felt that Zheng Qi, too, yearned for the warmth of a family. Xiao San didn’t want to ruin her parents’ affection for Zheng Qi over this.

So, where should she go?

The world was so vast, yet it seemed there was no place for her.

Xiao San dragged her suitcase for a long time before finally checking into a hotel.

At least she could stay for one night and figure things out later.

“Umbrella, you’re so naughty. You actually left me behind and came out to play by yourself.” Xiao San had just moved in, and the moment she opened the door, she saw Zheng Qi sitting inside the room.

As if nothing had happened, he spoke to Xiao San with a tone of complaint.

Support