The Survival Strategy of the Contract Duchess - Chapter 80

Sasha felt a quiet regret as the warmth between them faded, but she didn’t cling to it. Thankfully. Instead, she held back the words rising in her chest and simply watched him.

Kyler had stepped away, his eyes closed as if he needed space to think. He seemed to believe distance would help him make sense of everything. Sasha waited patiently, her curiosity strong, but her restraint stronger.

Then, his voice reached her.

“Sasha. I’m sorry.”

It was an apology, simple and direct, but it carried more weight than most words ever could.

He was always serious, but this time, she sensed it more deeply. Whatever he was about to say needed to be handled carefully. They were still circling around something that had yet to be resolved between them.

“Why are you sorry? Why would Kyler ever be sorry after always protecting me?”

She gently reached out to touch his hand, wanting to comfort him, but he pulled it away.

Shocked, she stared at him, only for him to apologize again, this time with even more hesitation.

“What’s going on? Please tell me. It’s so frustrating not knowing anything.”

Her voice was calm. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t pushing her away, nor was he breaking down. Knowing that gave her the strength to remain composed. Rushing to understand him on her own wouldn’t work. He needed to speak. She needed to listen. That was the only way forward.

“I hope you understand that,” she thought.

Kyler looked at her.

“My ears sense danger in the empire. Disasters, rebellions, monsters. That sort of thing.”

Sasha nodded with a thoughtful expression. She didn’t interrupt, only met his eyes and listened closely.

“It happens without warning. Sometimes it feels like background noise, just people talking… but when something serious happens, it’s painful. Loud. Overwhelming.”

She imagined what it must have been like to live with something like that. The constant strain of uncertainty. She wondered how he had endured it during childhood, how many things he had been forced to hide, how many times he had suffered in silence.

And she had always suspected his still, expressionless face was not emptiness. It was a shield. A way of hiding the sadness and pain that never fully left him.

What mattered to her now was that he had chosen to lower that shield in front of her.

“It must have been hard. I’d be terrified even if there were some warning. But to have it come out of nowhere…”

“When I was a child, I couldn’t control it. I hated going outside. I felt lost. I didn’t know what the sounds meant, and I had no way to stop them. I thought of this pain as something I deserved. That was the worst part.”

In those chaotic years, he had faced everything alone. The wind and storm of his life never let up. And the sounds followed him everywhere, invisible and relentless.

“It didn’t get better right away. But with help, I started to understand it as something I could use. I decided to use this ability to protect what I could. And then, in the middle of all that, I found you.”

Sasha’s chest tightened. She couldn’t help but reach out and grab his hand. He had turned his pain into purpose. He had survived it and grown from it. She looked at him with quiet awe.

This time, Kyler didn’t pull away. She held his hand gently, stroking it with her thumb. His expression softened ever so slightly.

“After that moment… after touching you. You were trapped in the attic. You grabbed me as I passed by and asked for a contract. After that, everything changed.”

After touching her.

She didn’t remember it, because she hadn’t been the one who made that first connection. It had been the original owner of this body. Still, she already knew what had remained from that moment.

“To be honest, after touching you, I froze.”

The way he said it sounded like a confession. Everything about this felt personal and vulnerable, even if he didn’t say the word love. It was there. She could feel it between his pauses.

What he was saying couldn’t have been the result of her affection alone. His story was full of pain, and yet every part of it felt honest.

She smiled gently and held his hand tighter.

“The reason I chose you as my marriage partner, even making a contract and bringing you here… is because…”

He hesitated again. He had been afraid to say this part out loud, unsure how she would take it.

“When I’m near you… when I touch you, all the noises disappear. The ones that torment me.”

Sasha blinked.

What?

The sounds vanish when she touches him? But she had no power. She was not magical or special. So how could something like that happen?

And when they first met, it had not even been her, but the original Sasha. That was the most confusing part. She wasn’t the same person anymore.

But the effect had continued.

He held her hand again, more firmly now.

“When I hold your hand like this… when I hug you… when I kiss you…”

Kyler pulled her gently into his arms, embracing her small frame. Then he lifted her chin, and kissed her.

A soft, deep kiss.

Sasha closed her eyes, letting herself feel it.

“When I touch you like this, everything goes silent. I can’t hear the sounds anymore. That’s why I chose you.”

So, this was the truth.

The contract they had made back then was not only about saving her from that place.

It was also about giving him a way to escape his pain.

It had been worth making the contract. This meeting, this bond, felt almost fated.

“I… can ease Kyler’s pain. That’s… really a good thing, right? Then why does Kyler look so troubled when he says it?”

Was it just her imagination? He had said she freed him from the tormenting noise. He had kissed her cheek gently and wrapped an arm around her waist. His actions were filled with care, but his eyes told a different story.

There was guilt in them, like a quiet ripple disturbing the still surface of a lake.

“I thought of the noise in my ears as a kind of ability… and I swore I would use it to protect the empire from a young age. I was given a safe, stable life within the empire, so managing the duchy with a small group of people was seen as a fair exchange.”

Kyler began to speak with more strength in his voice.

This was what he had wanted to say. Sasha squeezed his hand a little tighter and waited for his next words.

“This ability became the reason I kept going. There were times it hurt so badly I couldn’t leave my bed. But I couldn’t abandon it. Because it gave my life purpose. Then I met you. And at first, it was good. You took the pain away.”

But that peace had not lasted.

What began as comfort had turned into emotion. That emotion had grown, crossing a thin line, and had become something overwhelming.

“If you love someone… isn’t that a good thing? You’re not unable to touch them, so why…”

His brow furrowed deeply, leaving sharp lines across his forehead. He placed a hand on his chest and pressed hard, as if something inside was aching.

What was hurting him like this? Why did solving one thing only seem to uncover another?

“Think back to what happened in the forest this time.”

His lips were chapped and red, marked where he had bitten them. He looked like he had made up his mind to speak.

Sasha suddenly closed her mouth. Something about what he said triggered a memory. Her throat tightened. She wanted to bite her lip to keep the tears in, but she forced them back quickly, afraid he would notice from how close they were sitting.

“I didn’t want to be apart from you. I held your hand, hugged you… and every night, I wanted to be closer. I was greedy to share more of myself with you. That day in the Uhallin Forest, it was the same.”

His gaze shifted toward the sword leaning against the sofa.

The same sword he had carried into the Uhallin Forest. The one he had used to defeat the monsters.

“I had that sword with me before we even stepped into the forest. I would never carry it in town, but I brought it there. That alone meant danger was possible. My ears sense threats across the empire, and when something dangerous is near, they react. I heard it… but I still didn’t let go of your hand.”

And now, Sasha understood more clearly why he had been struggling.

Ah, Kyler… could there be another person this honest, this steadfast, and so true to what he felt?

He claimed he didn’t let go of her hand because of what he heard, but Sasha did not believe that was the only reason. Not at all.

“Kyler, no. That day, you held my hand to protect me.”

He had always protected her. Whether in the city, the forest, the duchy, or even in the Imperial Palace, it had always been the same.

He was always there, always the one standing between her and danger.

“That day was no different. If you hadn’t carried your sword, you couldn’t have defeated the monster. If you hadn’t sensed it, if I hadn’t been right there with you… would I have been able to protect you instead?”

Just hearing about what had happened made her heart ache. But to know he had been carrying all that guilt and fear alone…

Sasha looked at him and smiled, her eyes soft and bright.

Her heart, already full, overflowed a little more. The more she learned about this man, the more she admired him.

And the more she loved him.

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