The Survival Strategy of the Contract Duchess - Chapter 38

Sasha stood hesitantly in front of the Duke’s room.

There was still time before dinner. What Pavon had told her likely meant that Kyler intended to call for her now.

She found herself hesitating at the door, lost in complicated thoughts.

She kept remembering the strange way he had acted before he left, and more than that, the words he had said, asking her to call him Kyler, echoed in her mind.

He had said it again just moments ago in the garden, but the voice replaying in her head wasn’t from today. It was the voice she had heard that night, in bed. The warmth of their touching skin, the electricity of the moment, and the way he had spoken his name had left a vivid imprint that spread through her entire body.

Why did he have to say it at that exact moment?

Every time she remembered it, her thoughts returned to that night. It made her feel like a pervert. That name had been engraved into her memory in such an intense way that now it was difficult to say it out loud. When he told her to use it, should she have refused more firmly?

“Come in.”

“Ah!”

She jumped at the sudden sound of Kyler’s voice from inside.

She had only been lingering outside the door. How did he know she was there?

Sasha gave up on stalling and turned the doorknob. The room inside was dim. Even though it was late afternoon and the sunlight outside was bright and golden, the curtains had been drawn on purpose. Just a few soft rays of light slipped through the edges and crept across the room.

“What is this? Are you copying me now?”

Sasha quickly closed the door behind her and adjusted to the darkness. She blinked a few times, and slowly her eyes began to make out the shape of the room.

When she had been emotionally withdrawn, Kyler had opened the windows and pulled back all the curtains to air out the room. He had pulled her up, almost by force, whenever she sank too deeply into herself.

But this time, Sasha hadn’t done the same. She felt like now wasn’t the time to pull him up. So instead, she let herself step into his darkness. Like wading into water, bit by bit.

Kyler sat in a large armchair, his body sunken into the cushions. His eyes were shut tightly, and every now and then his brow tensed, as if something in his mind refused to leave him alone. It was as if he wanted to shake something off.

“Was the trip… hard on you?”

Sasha asked quietly, keeping her tone as neutral as she could. Standing directly in front of him, she saw his tense expression slowly ease.

“It wasn’t the work that was difficult. I’m just… still weighed down from it. I haven’t been able to shake it off.”

His voice, drifting through the dark, was low and heavy. It didn’t cut through the silence but melted into it, like it belonged there. Blended into the dim light, he looked so vulnerable that it tugged at her heart.

Maybe this was what he had felt when he had pulled her out of the dark before.

Kyler reached a hand toward her, and she didn’t hesitate to take it. When he pulled gently, she followed, and he drew her down to sit on his right thigh.

He let out a long breath, a deep and heavy sigh that sounded like he had finally released a weight pressing down on his chest.

“When I hold you like this… it makes me feel at peace. Is that how it feels for you too?”

Earlier, his voice had seemed to disappear into the darkness. Now, hers felt too sharp and loud in comparison, so she lowered it naturally.

His right arm, which had been resting on the armrest, slid around her slim waist and pulled her closer. She didn’t resist. From the moment she took his hand, she had let herself relax completely into him.

Kyler drew her in until her head rested against his shoulder. He sat there quietly, breathing softly.

It felt like his response to her question, so Sasha stayed silent and leaned into him. Resting against his solid body, she felt the fatigue of the past week begin to melt away.

If this was what made him feel peaceful, then she hoped he could always feel this way.

She had never thought of herself as someone who could help others. But now, she found herself wishing she could become someone like that.

“Sasha.”

His voice didn’t disappear into the shadows this time. Instead, it shot straight into her heart. She had only been called by this name for a few months, but somehow, the way he said it made her heart flutter every time.

“It hasn’t been long since I started being called by this name… but I really love how you say it.”

Maybe it was the darkness that gave her the courage. Only their silhouettes were visible, and in that soft gloom, Sasha finally gave voice to a thought she had been keeping to herself.

She felt his shoulders flinch. When Sasha realized, he had reacted to her words, she smiled softly. But Kyler gently moved her off his shoulder. As she straightened her back and sat upright, he looked at her directly, as if his eyes could see everything even in the darkness.

“I want to feel that too.”

“What?”

The words seemed to come out of nowhere. She couldn’t look away. His eyes were steady in the dim light, and as she met his gaze, he slowly lowered his head and lightly brushed his lips against the side of her neck.

“You said you liked hearing me call your name. I want to hear you call mine with your voice.”

So that was it.

She had been afraid he would say those exact words. Now that he had, she understood why he had asked her to call him by name.

“Ky…”

She barely got the first syllable out before she stopped and bit her lip. Saying his name felt unexpectedly difficult.

Then his hand reached up and gently brushed her lips. His hand was warm and rough, but his touch was so careful that it hit her heart with surprising force.

“Kyler.”

“Yes.”

The moment she said his name, he answered as if he had been waiting. Her heart swayed like it had been caught in a sudden wave.

Now she knew why it had been so hard to say his name. It was because she had fallen in love with him.

Her heart would tighten when he said her name, and just saying his name made her feel nervous and happy. She had come farther down this path than she ever intended. There was no turning back.

“I like that. Call me that from now on.”

He was someone who had never expressed how he felt, not in words and probably not through his expressions either. But now he was saying he liked it. What woman wouldn’t be moved by that?

Sasha turned and leaned into him, resting her forehead on his shoulder. She nestled closer into his arms. In that moment, it felt like they were two small creatures, each carrying pain, curled up in the dark for warmth.

To seek comfort in each other’s arms felt like being completely embraced.

She wasn’t confusing loneliness with love. Letting someone in just because you felt empty could leave you badly hurt. She knew that well.

“I fought monsters. They can regenerate, so to stop them, you have to hit hard enough or keep striking until they can’t move. Even if there aren’t many, it’s exhausting. Just because they aren’t human doesn’t mean it’s easy to kill them.”

Monsters. She had never heard much about them. Maybe she hadn’t paid attention because noble ladies weren’t expected to. If the people of the Empire could live peacefully, it was probably because of him. But did anyone truly know that?

“You’ve worked so hard. I respect that you still feel something when you have to kill. But if it ever becomes too much, it’s okay to let go of that weight. No one has the right to blame you.”

She spoke each word clearly and with care, putting just a little bit of her own feelings into them.

Kyler smiled.

She didn’t see it, but she felt it. The slight movement of her hair near her ear told her he had let out a quiet laugh.

“Sasha.”

“Yes?”

Her name came gently from his lips, and this time, just as he had done earlier, she answered right away. Again, she heard a faint smile in his voice, close to her ear.

“I don’t need to force light into the room anymore. I feel like I’m back to myself. It feels like you are the light.”

“You’re surprisingly good at saying sweet things.”

As the mood lifted, Sasha gently teased him. The room was still dim, but the heavy silence had softened. Little by little, everything that had been sunken deep was beginning to rise.

“So, it was sweet. I’ll try not to overdo it.”

He still sounded like someone who didn’t know how to read the mood, and Sasha gave him a soft tap on the chest with her left hand. He let out a small sound, surprised but unaware why she had done it.

“Sweetness isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t mean it was embarrassing in a bad way. I meant it was shy and made me feel happy.”

“You liked it when I said you were the light.”

Kyler smiled quietly. He wasn’t laughing out loud or moving much, but she could picture the shape of his smile as if it were right in front of her.

“It’s true. It felt like I was trapped in endless suffering, and suddenly, a small lantern appeared with a soft glow. I feel like if I follow that light, I’ll be able to find my way out.”

She had never heard him speak this much before. The meaning behind his words touched something deep in her, and a single tear fell from her eye.

She had lived alone for most of her life. The idea of sharing that life with someone had never even felt real.

But now, someone appreciated her presence and was grateful for it. When he said he would follow her as if she were guiding the way, her heart overflowed.

“Are you really okay with that? Even if that light is me?”

“I am. Even if it’s you. If it’s you, then yes, I think I can.”

His quiet answer, filled with warmth, melted straight into her heart. People said he was the most sought-after man in the Empire, but this side of him felt like it belonged only to her.

She hoped no one else would ever see it. Not for the rest of her life.

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