The Second Fall - Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Not Craving an Equal Relationship

Lan Cixing brushed her hand over the bedsheets; there was no residual warmth.

Because the air conditioner had been blowing directly toward her, the bed actually felt somewhat cold.

Rong Yushu had not lain by her side. After a moment of dazed confusion, Lan Cixing realized this was her own room. The “Mini Rong Yushu” she had personally packed away yesterday was now sitting on the windowsill. Its packaging had been removed, and it sat there with eyes quietly downcast, like a sleeping beauty.

Lan Cixing pressed her temples and sat up. She remembered clearly that she had spent over two hours pleading at Rong Yushu’s door last night. She hadn’t found it tedious, waiting only for a single word of consent from the woman.

Rong Yushu really had let her in. Her final memory stopped at the warmth of Rong Yushu’s embrace. The air conditioning was fierce in the summer; any limbs outside the blanket felt chilly. Rong Yushu had let her hug her from behind, the warmth of back and chest lingering between them. There had even been a certain softness. Lan Cixing remembered the tingling sensation in her heart; she couldn’t be mistaken.

The only possibility was that Rong Yushu had moved her back to her own room and, in the process, unwrapped the realistic doll. Lan Cixing couldn’t figure out Rong Yushu’s intention. If she didn’t want to sleep together, she simply shouldn’t have let her in. Judging by the warmth of that hug, Rong Yushu clearly missed her too. So why make her wake up in her own room?

It was strange. Lan Cixing stared at the numbers on her phone for a long time, unable to make sense of it. Instead, the image of Rong Yushu grew deeper in her mind, silently occupying all of her attention.

Normally, she should have sent morning messages to her family to let them know she was safe. An Yu also had messages waiting for a reply. But right now, Lan Cixing was incapable of thought; she clutched her phone, unwilling even to turn off the screen. She washed up with maximum speed, as if her instructor were still staring her down from behind. Then she rushed to Rong Yushu’s door, though her movements slowed as she arrived. Only her heartbeat remained high, racing faster than her footsteps.

Lan Cixing took a deep breath, afraid her knocking would be too loud and wake Rong Yushu from a nap, yet also afraid it would be too light for a washing Rong Yushu to hear. She knocked softly and gradually increased the force. After three knocks, she lowered her hand and began an anxious wait, her breathing remaining rapid.

No reaction…

Lan Cixing exhaled, thinking of going back to her room to wait. But unwilling to miss even a second, she leaned against the door, tilted her head back, and stared at the ceiling in a daze. She stayed that way until the person she longed for walked down the hallway.

Rong Yushu wasn’t in her room at all. Lan Cixing felt embarrassed by her behavior, her ears burning hot. She turned toward Rong Yushu, acting obedient and well-behaved like a dog waiting for its owner. There really was no difference. A dog can’t speak and can only wag its tail; Lan Cixing couldn’t speak, so she lowered her head and looked at Rong Yushu with bright eyes.

“Waiting for me here?” Rong Yushu was as composed as if she hadn’t been the one to carry Lan Cixing back to her room. She offered no explanation, nor any extra acknowledgement of Lan Cixing’s unauthorized waiting. She simply reached out and stroked the girl’s head. It felt like a belated response to yesterday’s apology.

Lan Cixing’s head was pressed down by the heavy hand, yet her heart was lifted by a light sentence from Rong Yushu. “Why didn’t you go inside?”

It turned out Rong Yushu hadn’t locked the door. Lan Cixing had just been too anxious to check.

“Lost your nerve?” Rong Yushu chuckled and opened the door, catching a trail of Lan Cixing’s hair-scent and drawing her into the room. “Weren’t you making a fuss about entering my room last night? Mm, and acting like a hooligan—refusing to leave if I didn’t open up. Once I let you in, your hands wouldn’t stay still. Touching and kneading…”

In a few sentences, she dialed Lan Cixing’s shame and curiosity to the maximum.

“I just wanted to sleep with you… you let me before.” Lan Cixing sat beside Rong Yushu, not even questioning why they were sitting on the bed.

“Oh, you want to sleep with me.” Rong Yushu looked back, her green eyes brilliant in the sunlight. This gaze swept meaningfully over Lan Cixing’s face, and then… her hands.

Lan Cixing had cut her nails as soon as she got back yesterday. She was very self-aware. Rong Yushu didn’t add anything more, but the implication was clear—it seemed she really did want to.

Lan Cixing practically jumped, springing two meters away with her brain stalling. Two minutes later, she simply pulled out her phone, wanting to ask about her “official business.” Lan Cixing was like this—easily jammed up.

Rong Yushu didn’t push it further. “What is it? It’s been over a month; it is time for payday.” She glanced at Lan Cixing’s phone screen and handed it back.

“No, no, no, the amount is wrong. Why is it one million? That’s too… too much.” If the monthly salary was a million, Lan Cixing calculated on her fingers that she could retire in three or four months.

“Is there a problem?” Rong Yushu looked up lazily, glancing at Lan Cixing as if the question were nonsense. “You signed for a million-dollar monthly salary in the first place.”

Seeing Lan Cixing hesitate as if she didn’t believe it, Rong Yushu took out her phone, pulled up the contract from back then, and showed it to her. Lan Cixing really did see her own signature on the contract, along with all those zeros in the salary line.

“But…” Lan Cixing looked closely at the signature; it was indeed her handwriting. It would be hard for anyone else to imitate, and there was no point in doing so. She had absolutely no recollection of signing such a contract. “At the time, it was clearly one yuan a month…” Lan Cixing doubted her own memory and suspected forgery, but she never suspected that Rong Yushu had given her a “yin-yang” double contract, simply placing the “hidden” one on top now.

“One yuan? That wouldn’t even meet the minimum wage.” Rong Yushu watched her stammering, shy, and frightened “puppy” from the corner of her eye, finding it amusing. Lan Cixing actually believed she would give her such a black-hearted price, making her work as a free laborer and sleep with her.

“But it was to thank you for helping me through my heat.” Lan Cixing moved a bit closer. For a bodyguard of a big star, a monthly salary of 100,000 was normal. Both one yuan and one million were abnormal. The former was Lan Cixing’s own willingness; the latter she didn’t dare take, fearing it would weigh on her conscience. She was already asking Rong Yushu for help and taking advantage of her. Lan Cixing felt like she was shrinking into a tiny dog the size of a grain of rice, ready to be blown away by the wind.

She met Rong Yushu’s clear eyes and glimpsed an unusual smile.

“I didn’t really do anything.” Rong Yushu lifted a finger, her pine-green nail pressing into the bridge of Lan Cixing’s nose, creating a small indentation. It was as if this poke was also a caress. Pain turned into sweetness.

“Besides, how could you be worth only one yuan?” Lan Cixing should be priceless. Rong Yushu couldn’t measure her worth; she just wanted to help her through her financial difficulties as much as possible, so she filled in that number. At least within a formal employment relationship, Lan Cixing would have earned it herself.

Lan Cixing’s nose began to feel hot. The burning temperature stimulated her tear ducts, and a jolt of heat rushed through her head. Rong Yushu’s eyes became the most exquisite tsavorite garnets—calm as a deep pool, with light shimmering on the surface. The little bit of emotion leaking out made every glance directed at Lan Cixing taste like the sweetness of white tea.

Lan Cixing’s breathing gradually became rapid to an unbearable degree. Her eyes flickered, not daring to meet Rong Yushu’s gaze. But today’s Rong Yushu was gentler than ever. Usually, she would tease her, but now she just watched Lan Cixing quietly. It was as if Lan Cixing were also some precious aquamarine diamond, worthy of her careful appreciation.

Lan Cixing slowly lowered her head. She still couldn’t handle Rong Yushu’s direct gaze, even if Rong Yushu thought she only dared to reveal a tenth of her affection.

But Lan Cixing was obedient. She took a small step, walked closer, and knelt down. She leaned beside Rong Yushu, playing her role as the little dog. Rong Yushu looked down, a soft hum escaping her nose as she prepared to lean against Lan Cixing.

Lan Cixing finally steeled her heart. She looked up and pressed against the corner of Rong Yushu’s eye. With her lips. Kissing out a puff of white tea heat.

“Sister, do you have any schedules for the next four days?” After the kiss, Lan Cixing was pulled onto the bed by Rong Yushu, and the two leaned side-by-side. Lan Cixing’s heart wouldn’t settle down; she had to find something to say.

“No. Am I such a diligent person?” Rong Yushu’s tone today was slower than usual, flat, without the previous flirting or mockery. Lan Cixing gradually began to pick up on the nuance. This was the real Rong Yushu, without the disguise or the acting. Perhaps the real Rong Yushu was just this “boring.”

It didn’t matter. Lan Cixing was also a boring person, living like a piece of wood with little fire in her life. She didn’t need Rong Yushu to wear those masks.

“Then I’ll stay with you.” Lan Cixing turned over to look at Rong Yushu, not realizing there was sunlight falling into her eyes, making them look clear and bright. Rong Yushu was overwhelmed by the gaze and turned her face away, refusing to look at her.

Lan Cixing pressed closer, reaching out to secretly poke Rong Yushu’s waist. If Rong Yushu continued to ignore her, she was going to hug her. Lan Cixing really did reach out; she was so bold.

“Stay with me how?” Rong Yushu huffed and flipped over, pinning her bold dog down. She was glad her strategy was working. Lan Cixing was slowly turning back into her old self.

“Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it together.” Lan Cixing didn’t think much of it. Her words were simple, her smile even wider. Sincerely wanting to be with Rong Yushu, anything seemed fine.

Rong Yushu narrowed her eyes. She was in the superior position; right now, she could do anything to the little Alpha who was open to her. Lan Cixing meant exactly that. She had handed herself over to Rong Yushu, adopting a posture of being at her mercy, begging for a bit of pity.

Yet Rong Yushu really didn’t make a move. No intimacy, no coercion. She just lay back down beside Lan Cixing and slowly tucked herself into Lan Cixing’s arms. She closed her eyes and exhaled the air that had been stagnant for four years.

“Then… let’s watch a movie.” Back when she was taking care of Lan Cixing, they would watch movies together whenever they had free time. Back then, it was for study. Rong Yushu would have Lan Cixing take notes, and the two would watch a single shot repeatedly.

Now that one of them had left their common career, it could only be for entertainment.

“I’ll go prepare snacks.” Lan Cixing’s cheek accidentally brushed Rong Yushu’s hair as she turned. Leaving her lips full of white tea fragrance.

They really did watch movies all day. Rong Yushu would rewind after a while; scrutinizing techniques had become a habit. Lan Cixing sat beside her peeling fruit and feeding her snacks. The two simply didn’t bother with proper meals.

When hungry, Lan Cixing would go make some simple dishes, bringing them over to feed half to Rong Yushu and eat the other half herself.

Rong Yushu lay in her arms, casually tapping on a tablet. Everything seemed to have returned to four years ago.

Their most intimate times weren’t when they were auditioning together, nor helping each other get into character in the shadows of the set, and certainly not when they were young and huddled together to bathe out of sheer desire.

It was just like this—nestled in each other’s arms, watching movies whose plots they knew by heart, flipping through them over and over to pass the time on a rest day.

Lan Cixing’s debut hadn’t been smooth. Although her first role was popular, the agency she signed with was bad. Later, she changed agencies and had to start over. She was quiet for two years before finally exploding in popularity with a specific role.

At the time, her popularity rivaled that of Rong Yushu, who had debuted as a child star. The entertainment industry rarely saw a star like Lan Cixing—someone who didn’t need any stunt doubles for fight scenes, could add her own movements, and complete them so smoothly. The audience found it refreshing.

During that time, Lan Cixing experienced the feeling of overnight fame. Countless cameras appeared around her, and her every move was watched; she could no longer stay by Rong Yushu’s side in the light of day. The outside world arbitrarily labeled them as rivals.

Probably not even Rong Yushu’s own sister knew they had shared such intimate days. Lan Cixing had her fingerprints and iris registered in Rong Yushu’s door lock, so she could come at any time. She had invited Rong Yushu as well, but Rong Yushu had never visited.

After all, their relationship was unequal. From the first day she met Rong Yushu, Lan Cixing knew this well. Rong Yushu was wealthy and in the spotlight, with crowds of friends and suitors surrounding her. Moreover, she was the teacher who brought Lan Cixing into the industry, the benefactor who changed her agency and signed her roles. In a sense, Rong Yushu was keeping Lan Cixing.

It was just that no one ever mentioned it. Lan Cixing didn’t expect that after four years apart, they could return to this kind of relationship. Could they… really go back?

At night, Lan Cixing gazed at Rong Yushu’s face—the curled lashes, the rise and fall of her breath, the silhouette drawn by the moonlight. She moved a little closer, but before leaning in, she pressed her hand against her chest. She shouldn’t be so moved anymore. But this was the person she had loved for six years. Perhaps there had been love hidden in the four years she hated her, too. Even if their past relationship was one of being kept, of teacher and student, of her being Rong Yushu’s dog and Rong Yushu being her mother. Lan Cixing only wanted to return to the past.

She never craved an equal relationship.

Rong Yushu kept Lan Cixing at home for three days. Before the filming of the second episode of the dating show began, Lan Cixing finally received a message of “sincere” longing from her sister. She realized she had been enjoying herself too much and should go home to check in.

“Sister, applying for half a day at home to visit Xiao Ran.” After breakfast, Lan Cixing leaned against Rong Yushu, practically lying on top of her.

“Go.” Rong Yushu patted her cheek, her mood not very high. It had been like this for the past few days. Since Rong Yushu was too lazy to act, Lan Cixing finally knew her true state. She wasn’t interested in anything, and her looks at people were faint. The only exception was when she was holding Lan Cixing. At night, they slept in each other’s arms.

“I’ll be back tonight.” Lan Cixing tested the door lock as she left. She could actually still open the door to Rong Yushu’s house. Lan Cixing smiled to herself, put on her mask and hat, and left with a quick step.

Not long after she left, Rong Yushu received a call from Rong Jinhuai.

“You’re on vacation and you’re not coming to see Cang Cang? She’s your daughter.” Rong Jinhuai had a small white fluffball hanging off her. The fluffball was very noisy and had infinite energy. No one knew who Rong Zhanqiu took after. Rong Yushu had been terrifyingly quiet as a child; her eyes took after her mother’s—icy green—and she always looked like she was hating someone. Her mind was also clear; she even knew Rong Jinhuai’s difficulties and took the initiative to step back.

As for the Alpha who made Rong Yushu pregnant… Rong Jinhuai didn’t want to mention it. If Rong Yushu hadn’t stopped her, she might have truly blacklisted Lan Cixing in a physical sense.

“Lazy. Isn’t she fine with you?” Rong Yushu was busy wooing Cang Cang’s mother. Even when she wasn’t busy, Rong Yushu rarely went to see her daughter. The child, not yet three years old, understood nothing and once treated Rong Jinhuai as her mother. Only then did Rong Yushu go to see her more often, relying on her biological mother’s halo to win her over.

“…You are her biological mother. Children need their mothers.”

“Her mommy isn’t here,” Rong Yushu muttered quietly.

Rong Jinhuai didn’t hear clearly and got angry at the attitude. “You gave birth but you don’t care. I should have listened to myself back then and not kept this child. What was so good about that Alpha that it was worth destroying your future and hurting yourself? I heard her family even has a hereditary disease. Have you considered the Rong family?”

“And that dating show, take some advice from your sister. People in the entertainment industry are just for fun, they’re all social climbers…”

Rong Yushu stopped talking, putting the phone aside and letting her sister be as angry as she wanted. She had been forced to break contact with the outside world while she was pregnant. When she came out six months later, she only heard the news of Lan Cixing leaving the industry. Later, she tried to get close, but she could feel Lan Cixing avoiding her. If there was an event she participated in, Lan Cixing would take the organizer’s bodyguard job and then decline. If there was a set she was on, Lan Cixing would serve as the lead’s bodyguard but resign before filming started.

Rong Yushu once thought Lan Cixing hated her and didn’t want to see her again. For the past four years, she had truly followed Lan Cixing’s wish. Only recently did she realize there might be some misunderstanding between them. But she didn’t want to dig deep. Regardless, Lan Cixing was tied to her now. The past didn’t matter.

Rong Yushu took out her phone, bored for a while, and opened the chat with “Little Blue Sky.”

Lan Cixing arrived home to hear her sister letting out a piercing shriek of laughter. She seemed to be playing with a friend. Lan Cixing paused, quieted her footsteps, and walked in. She saw Lan Bairan pulling her friend’s face in the living room. The two were scuffling together, inseparable and intimate.

Lan Bairan’s friend… Lan Cixing took a second look. She was at least a real-life friend. Lan Cixing had heard Lan Bairan talk about her and had seen her before. They were all good students at school; there was no problem.

“Ahem,” Lan Cixing gave a reminder.

Lan Bairan nearly jumped off the sofa. “Sis, good sister, why are you back?” She was visibly guilty.

“Hello, sister.” Her friend, Liang Chuqi, was much calmer, standing up to greet Lan Cixing.

“My boss gave me half a day off.” Lan Cixing finally understood. Her sister’s longing this morning wasn’t about seeing her; it was about the pocket money she had shared.

“Then I won’t disturb you. Xiao Ran, see you tomorrow~” Liang Chuqi left of her own accord.

Lan Bairan breathed a small sigh of relief.

“You little ungrateful thing. You didn’t miss me at all?” Lan Cixing pinched Lan Bairan’s ear, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. It had been a while since she was home, but thankfully the house wasn’t a mess. Her sister had grown up.

“How could I not? I think of my sister every day.” Lan Bairan showed a pure and harmless smile. She still got flicked on the forehead by Lan Cixing.

“Have you eaten lunch? If not, I’ll go make some.” Lan Cixing did a simple cleanup of the room, found there was nowhere for her to work, and changed direction.

“Then thank you, my dear sister.” Lan Bairan was also lazy; if she could eat her sister’s cooking, she wouldn’t lift a finger.

During the meal, Lan Cixing asked a few questions. Most were related to studies. Lan Bairan felt her whole body go numb from the questioning. She found the reason why she didn’t miss Lan Cixing. Lan Bairan wanted to cry but couldn’t. For the sake of the meal her sister made, she endured.

After eating, Lan Cixing prepared to play the game she used to play with Lan Bairan. Lan Bairan had an expression as if the sun had risen from the west, not daring to turn on the projector for a moment.

“Sis, are you sure you want to play games with me, and not test if I have any netizens or if I’m studying hard?” Lan Bairan didn’t even dare to control her alt account.

“So, do you have netizens and are you studying hard?” Lan Cixing just had something to say and was nervous, planning to make Lan Bairan happy first.

“…” Lan Bairan stopped talking.

“Hmm?” Lan Cixing put down her tablet.

“I don’t have an online relationship!” She was always sneaking into Liang Chuqi’s house; how could she have time for an online relationship? Xiao Qi would get jealous. “I have also been studying.” Lan Bairan was puffed up with indignation. She logged into a recently created alt account on the projector.

Lan Cixing looked at the rank and knew Lan Bairan wasn’t lying. She logged into her “Blue Sky Yeast” account, ignored An Yu’s messages, and sent a rank invite to Lan Bairan. As soon as Lan Bairan entered, she saw the couple tag above Lan Cixing’s character.

Lan Bairan went silent. She knew her sister seemed to be having an online relationship lately. Today she found out it wasn’t an illusion; it was real. Lan Bairan carefully didn’t expose it, being carried all the way to the Nascent Soul rank by her sister.

Only then did Lan Cixing finally speak. “I… ran into Rong Yushu.” Lan Cixing wanted to take it step by step. Perhaps this time Rong Yushu could “keep” her for a bit longer. This time Lan Cixing hoped Rong Yushu could come to her house.

“Huh?” But Lan Bairan’s reaction wasn’t as expected. She still held a lot of hostility. “Did she do something to you? She didn’t make things difficult for you, did she? Heavens, Sis, you have to stay far away. Who knows what this person will do. A civilian family like ours can’t afford to provoke her.” She was very anxious about Lan Cixing, pulling at her clothes to see if she was injured.

“…I just saw her from afar. Just letting you know.” Lan Cixing pushed Lan Bairan away with a hand.

“Still not okay. Is there contact through work? Long term? Sis, how about we run away?” Lan Bairan was much more nervous than Lan Cixing. Except for Lan Cixing herself, the friends and family around her had a very poor impression of Rong Yushu.

Sometimes it made Lan Cixing feel like she was too soft-hearted and her personality too affectionate. To be treated like that by Rong Yushu and yet still want to shamelessly get close when they met again. Bowing and scraping, wagging her tail and begging for pity.

“It was only once. She glanced at me and didn’t say much. Don’t worry so much, your sister is an Alpha with combat power; she won’t be eaten.” Lan Cixing used her acting skills, which really fooled Lan Bairan.

“I’m just… sigh, but back then you were blacklisted and chased by fans… Sis, Auntie and I are worried about you.” Lan Bairan was afraid Lan Cixing would feel bad and touched her head as a comfort.

“It’s all in the past.” Lan Cixing had an indifferent attitude.

But… Lan Bairan didn’t know the whole past between her and Rong Yushu. But she liked Rong Yushu. From the first meeting until now, it had been nearly ten years. The whole world—Lan Cixing’s world—actually had no one who knew this feeling. Including Rong Yushu herself.

Finally coaxing Lan Bairan, Lan Cixing lost her mood to play games and told Lan Bairan to play by herself. Lan Cixing went into the study, not knowing what to do. Lan Bairan felt a faint worry. The surname “Rong” was too heavy; Rong Yushu’s family and business were huge, she had countless awards, and her company was thriving. Her suitors even included foreign royalty.

Taking ten thousand steps back. Even if four years ago the two hadn’t been plotted against and truly loved each other, confessing their feelings and becoming a couple. The Rong family couldn’t possibly agree to Rong Yushu marrying a civilian Alpha like Lan Cixing. Rong Yushu’s suitors would also move against Lan Cixing. The later blacklisting of Lan Cixing couldn’t have happened without the Rong family’s hand.

Lan Bairan’s mind wandered for a while, and she hadn’t logged out of the game yet. She saw a person floating beside Lan Cixing’s idling character. The username was hidden. But there was the same partner title above the head. The face the person had customized was clearly Rong Yushu.

…It was over. Lan Bairan urgently sent a message to her aunt.

“Wait for me to work hard, I will definitely get her out of the single life this time!” Her aunt’s fighting spirit was ignited by Lan Bairan.

Lan Cixing played the game with An Yu for a while; their conversation was vacuous, and she didn’t remember it. She made dinner for Lan Bairan and then returned to Rong Yushu’s house. When she left, Lan Bairan was still warning her not to get too close to Rong Yushu. Lan Cixing was exhausted, and only the fact that she could sleep in Rong Yushu’s arms at night gave her some comfort.

Her mood was poor, and she fell into a deep sleep early. She didn’t know Rong Yushu was sitting beside her, watching her for a long time.

“I don’t know about you…” Rong Yushu could feel that Lan Cixing’s mood had been poor since coming back from home. Thinking it was a family matter, she didn’t ask much. Her fingertip lightly brushed Lan Cixing’s forehead. Rong Yushu didn’t let her nail touch the skin. The finger pad was warm and soft. Her eyes were tender.

Rong Yushu smoothed out the ripples in her heart and was about to embrace Lan Cixing to sleep. Then she saw Lan Cixing’s phone screen light up on the nightstand. It was so late. Rong Yushu reached over; the screen hadn’t turned off yet.

Rong Yushu saw the caller’s name. It was Sheng Yuexiao. Asking when they could go on another date.

Rong Yushu stared for a long time. The screen turned off and lit up again. Finally, she tapped the screen. She was prepared to enter the password. Delete it. Delete it, delete it, delete it… Lan Cixing couldn’t see it.

Rong Yushu’s fingertip touched the screen. She heard a low sob. Lan Cixing was dreaming, though of what was unknown. She was sobbing uncontrollably on the bed.

Support The Second Fall