The Second Fall - Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Taking Responsibility for Her

The strike was quite forceful, landing squarely on Rong Yushu’s shoulder.

Rong Yushu gasped, but she didn’t even stop to check the injury. Someone as afraid of pain as she was, someone who absolutely refused to let a single scar remain on her body, currently had her entire focus on Lan Cixing. She gripped Lan Cixing’s wrists and leaned down, trying to hold her.

Lan Cixing began to struggle. In an unconscious state, there was no such thing as holding back strength. Rong Yushu had to exert twelve points of energy just to keep her pinned down; she was soon drenched in sweat from the exhaustion.

It had been a long time since Rong Yushu had exercised; her strength and endurance weren’t even a tenth of Lan Cixing’s. They had never “fought” like this before. Only now did Rong Yushu realize that Lan Cixing had always yielded to her. Facing her, the girl likely didn’t dare use even a fraction of her strength for fear of breaking her. Even during… those times, when Rong Yushu couldn’t take it and would scratch and pull at her, Lan Cixing’s movements were always careful.

In her current state of stress, Rong Yushu couldn’t subdue her alone. She eventually gave up and sat back down beside her. Lan Cixing shrank further into the corner, rejecting Rong Yushu’s approach in a clear defensive posture. The sight made Rong Yushu’s teeth ache with frustration.

“Lan Cixing.” Rong Yushu changed her tone.

The tone used to coax a child when they first met was naturally different from the one used to flirt with an adult Alpha lately. Rong Yushu made her voice soft and slow, trying to coax Lan Cixing back.

“A-Ci, darling. It’s okay.” Her tone softened considerably, losing its usual playfulness. Instead, she sounded like an older sister. Or rather… a mother. She reached out slightly, and seeing that Lan Cixing didn’t dodge, she slowly moved her hand toward her.

She touched Lan Cixing’s head.

Lan Cixing still jolted, but at least she didn’t try to burrow further into the crevices of the sofa.

“Be good, be good…” It must have been the incident with Mu Huai that turned Lan Cixing into this. But when Rong Yushu had arrived, Lan Cixing was still standing her ground against Mu Huai, acting quite spirited and even knowing how to talk back. The moment she arrived to protect her, Lan Cixing fell into a stress response instead.

Could it be… that the one causing Lan Cixing to be stressed was actually herself?

Rong Yushu frowned slightly. She had never considered this possibility. After all, since their reunion, Lan Cixing had been very obedient. Even if she occasionally felt awkward with their renewed intimacy, she never showed the same revulsion she had toward others.

On the internet, when facing An Yushi, although it was clearly a lie, she had instinctively used Rong Yushu as a shield. Rong Yushu thought that Lan Cixing, at the very least, didn’t hate her. Perhaps deep in her subconscious, she still held the love from four years ago.

But what if. Just what if.

Lan Cixing actually hated her.

If so, all the oddities had an explanation. Especially… those four years she spent specifically avoiding her. Otherwise, how could they have not met even once in four years?

The green light in Rong Yushu’s eyes dimmed. A layer of frost covered them, freezing the cold sweat on her forehead. Her comforting movements stopped.

At that moment, Lan Cixing looked up at Rong Yushu. Her eyes were watery and swollen from crying. She stared blankly at Rong Yushu, her eyes not truly perceiving her form, as if looking at anyone at all. Rong Yushu was not in her world.

Rong Yushu’s heart throbbed with pain. She withdrew her hand and approached again.

“You… you… punish me…” Lan Cixing’s vision was mostly blocked by a dark shadow. Her lips moved, her voice small and repetitive. Even the white tea fragrance couldn’t drown out her words. They shook clearly into Rong Yushu’s ears.

“No punishment.” Rong Yushu cupped Lan Cixing’s face.

“You hate me. Torture me…” Lan Cixing was forced to look into her eyes, unable to focus, not knowing who it was. It was all instinct. She grabbed Rong Yushu’s wrist, believing this hand was Rong Yushu.

“…I don’t hate you.” Rong Yushu thought she hadn’t guessed wrong. Only someone who hated another would constantly say that person hated them.

“You do. I can accept it…” Lan Cixing squeezed out tears and tried to push Rong Yushu away.

It became difficult for Rong Yushu to get close. She endured the pain to hold Lan Cixing again. Even though the girl struggled with all her might, Rong Yushu used all her strength to bind her close.

“I don’t hate you. Darling, I’m sorry.” Rong Yushu finally kissed Lan Cixing’s lips, which were bitten purple. She rescued the poor lips, but became the one being bitten herself. Rong Yushu’s fingertips trembled with pain, but she didn’t let go.

How could she let Lan Cixing hate her?

Rong Yushu adjusted to the overly painful kiss and deepened it appropriately, releasing the white tea pheromones as a sedative for Lan Cixing. She let the girl pinch her shoulders and back. After a few minutes, Lan Cixing gave up her resistance. Whether it was the kiss or the pheromones, or perhaps she simply ran out of strength.

The pinching and hitting turned into a hug.

Rong Yushu was finally no longer being bitten. she wrapped her arms tightly around Lan Cixing’s back. Giving her a hug. Turning a kiss into something lingering.

They kissed for a long time. It wasn’t until it ended that Rong Yushu realized how much her body ached and how sticky she felt. She grew a bit irritable; looking at Lan Cixing, who was huddled in her arms and about to slip away, she poked Lan Cixing’s forehead hard.

Lan Cixing remained dazed and unresponsive. Rong Yushu had never seen her like this and didn’t know what counted as a return to normal, assuming this was just Lan Cixing’s daily state.

“You bit and hurt me. How are you going to compensate me?” Rong Yushu treated her the way she usually did, pinching her ear. Lan Cixing was numb all over, except for her sensitive ears. With that pinch, Lan Cixing shivered and slid out of Rong Yushu’s arms, giving her half a glance before burying herself away again.

“What do you want? I… I have nothing…” Lan Cixing grabbed the sofa, wanting to bury her face in it.

Rong Yushu was almost laughed out of her anger. She twisted her ear again, watching her try to burrow like a pangolin, and let out a huff from her nose.

“What do you want?” After four years, the kid was getting harder to understand.

Lan Cixing twisted for a long time but couldn’t burrow in. Pulled back by Rong Yushu, she could only slump back, lying on the sofa with half her body sliding toward the floor, staring foolishly at Rong Yushu.

“I want you to forgive me… not to hate me?” Lan Cixing spoke tentatively. At least now she could recognize that the person staying by her side was Rong Yushu. She felt her face being pinched, as if Rong Yushu was still angry with her. Lan Cixing shrank her neck. She knew it; Rong Yushu had always hated her. It was okay to pinch her; did she want to give her a slap?

At that thought, Lan Cixing gritted her teeth and tilted her head up, not dodging, once again seeking a blow. Truly pathetic. Lan Cixing closed her eyes and cursed herself. But she didn’t know what else to do. Having finally seen her again, Lan Cixing wanted things to be good between them. She could take some punishment, as long as Rong Yushu’s anger was quelled.

“Heh.” Rong Yushu was indeed angry.

Lan Cixing could hear the fire in that sound; it burned her skin. For a long time there was no movement, only the sound of rustling. When Lan Cixing opened her eyes slightly, she saw Rong Yushu putting on gloves. She opened her eyes just as Rong Yushu finished.

The next moment, the wind of a palm landed on Lan Cixing’s face. Lan Cixing turned her head with the force. The sound of the slap was so clear it stung her heart.

But there was no pain on her face. The world went silent for a second. Only Rong Yushu’s voice could be heard, half-mocking and half-resentful.

“Isn’t it you who hates me? You keep saying I hate you.”

The usually calm and composed Rong Yushu was gone. Her emotions were as complex as if she were acting. But this time, it was real. Her green eyes were venomous, ruthlessly piercing through Lan Cixing’s gaze. Her words were cold and painful, striking Lan Cixing right in the heart. Yet, a smile remained on the corner of her mouth, as if the fact that Lan Cixing hated her was insignificant, and all her emotions were just a performance.

Lan Cixing looked up blankly, following Rong Yushu’s movement to look into her eyes. But she received no further response. Rong Yushu pulled off the gloves, threw them unreasonably onto the floor, and left the room without looking back.

Until she left, Lan Cixing couldn’t manage to ask a single question. What did she mean? She didn’t see the flicker of tears in Rong Yushu’s eyes when she turned away.

Lan Cixing moved to the corner. She hadn’t recovered yet; her chest felt tight and was constantly throbbing with pain. Her head was also incredibly heavy and dizzy.

It wasn’t until the sunset fell at an angle and there was no light left in the room—only a pitch-black darkness—that Lan Cixing began to try to organize what happened today. She had confronted Mu Huai, and Mu Huai had posted the video on Weibo. So she saw the curses directed at her. The same words as four years ago. After that, she had fallen into the torrent of emotions from four years back.

It felt like she was still drifting between hotels, constantly hiding from people. Rong Yushu might have come at some point. Lan Cixing could still remember the white tea fragrance. As for what was said or done, she had no memory. Only fragments remained in her mind—one moment a kiss, the next a hit. It lacked logic and couldn’t be connected. She was like someone who had blacked out from drinking. Now, she had a hangover-like headache.

“Ngh…” Lan Cixing pressed her aching temples, but she could remember the last sentence. Rong Yushu said it was her who hated her. How strange. Clearly, it had always been Rong Yushu hating her. That look was so cold, like the morning after she accidentally marked Rong Yushu four years ago.

Lan Cixing shivered again, her hands going slack. She buried her head in her knees until her stomach ached with hunger. Only then did she manage to crawl out of her small shell, wanting to find a compressed biscuit in her bag. She had the habit of carrying food with her to quickly replenish energy.

Lan Cixing’s hands shook with weakness; she finally found a piece and slowly tore open the packaging. The door suddenly opened, a beam of light piercing through the heavy ink of the room. Immediately after, a dim light was lit, and a warm yellow glow slowly filled the room.

Lan Cixing looked up, but her vision was blocked by a figure. She felt a draft and her eyes instinctively closed. When she opened them again, her necktie was already being held by a hand, and she was lifted up.

“Sister… Sister…” This time, Lan Cixing was awake. She could recognize the person as Rong Yushu. She called out her nickname without any hesitation, as if the hatred she had just recognized never existed. Hearing this, Rong Yushu let go and placed Lan Cixing properly in a kneeling position on the floor.

Lan Cixing sat obediently, both hands on her thighs like a trained puppy. Even though Rong Yushu had just said strange things—as if she had both kissed and hit her—seeing Rong Yushu arrive, her blue-gray eyes still sparkled with moisture as she looked at her.

It was instinct. What was hidden deeper than hate was instinct. What would never change was also instinct.

Lan Cixing heard a sigh. Rong Yushu knelt in front of Lan Cixing and adjusted the crooked necktie for her. Lan Cixing tilted her neck and involuntarily swallowed; not daring to make the movement too obvious, her throat felt stuck. Then she was scratched by Rong Yushu.

Warmth surged from her throat to her head. Her throat settled, and the necktie was retied by Rong Yushu. Lan Cixing was still wondering what Rong Yushu was here for when she saw her lean over and take out a lunch box.

When opened, it was fragrant and delicious. Even by the hazy yellow light, one could see the tempting colors. Rong Yushu took a spoon and, bite by bite, began feeding Lan Cixing.

“I can do it myself…” Lan Cixing was stuffed with a mouthful. After chewing, she tried to speak again: “I can…”

Another mouthful was stuffed in. Rong Yushu’s attitude was gentle. Her green eyes were also tinted with warmth by the yellow light. But her actions were non-negotiable. She didn’t listen to Lan Cixing’s explanations, much less care about her attempts to take over. She insisted on feeding this meal to Lan Cixing personally. Even though she was kneeling and the posture was quite uncomfortable.

Lan Cixing tried to speed up her chewing. Back in the military academy, meals took less than ten minutes. Rong Yushu didn’t cooperate, timing it perfectly to ensure she ate properly. Lan Cixing could only follow Rong Yushu’s lead.

The food was delicious, accompanied by the faint scent of white tea. As she ate, Lan Cixing’s head bowed lower and lower. A tear, also unseen, flashed in the corner of her eye. Perhaps… it really was her who hated Rong Yushu.

After feeding her, Rong Yushu took out a tissue and wiped the corner of Lan Cixing’s mouth.

“Sister, you don’t have to…” Lan Cixing was as red as the tomatoes she had just eaten. She was so old, yet she still needed Rong Yushu to take care of her like this.

“Is it your place to speak?” Rong Yushu was merciless, pressing the tissue hard against Lan Cixing’s lip. The pain was quite clear, even more so than after the kiss scene this morning. No matter how much memory loss Lan Cixing had, she should have realized it by now. They really did kiss just now.

And the hit? Lan Cixing didn’t feel any pain on her face. And the hate? Lan Cixing’s heart felt sour thinking about those words. She couldn’t ask, so she could only act as if it didn’t exist, staying perfectly in place as she waited for her “mommy” to take care of her.

“Do your knees hurt from kneeling? Let me rub them for you.” After the wiping was done, Lan Cixing saw Rong Yushu’s reddened knees, and her heart began to ache again.

Rong Yushu went silent for a moment. Lan Cixing’s reaction… didn’t seem like she had heard the words from the afternoon. Could it be that this girl had amnesia after her stress response?

Rong Yushu didn’t care if her knees were red; she moved forward a few steps on her knees, lifted the ends of Lan Cixing’s hair, and forced her to look up. Lan Cixing’s face was still flushed, without any awareness of being scolded and then dumped by her. “…” Better this way.

Rong Yushu, more than Lan Cixing, didn’t know how to face this hatred. Just thinking that Lan Cixing had hidden this hatred so deeply for four years without anyone noticing made it hard for Rong Yushu to breathe. Thinking further, she didn’t know if Lan Cixing’s current joy and shyness were an act or real.

Rong Yushu had always disliked thinking about interpersonal relationships. Her only brain cells were dedicated to acting. Pondering characters in a script was enough of a headache; real-life ones could go away.

Rong Yushu stopped thinking and ran her hand over Lan Cixing’s cheek. The temperature was hot—didn’t seem like an act. That was enough.

“You’ve caused more than just my knees to be injured.” Rong Yushu’s fingertips slid repeatedly, making Lan Cixing’s face itch.

“Ah… huh?” Lan Cixing tried hard to search her memory. “I… I don’t remember… Sister, I’m sorry for today. I… I was really afraid.” Lan Cixing stepped forward, reaching out to rub Rong Yushu’s knees. Or act as a cushion for her. Lan Cixing rather clumsily lifted Rong Yushu’s leg, moving carefully, not daring to offend her.

“Afraid of what? Don’t you have me?” Rong Yushu allowed Lan Cixing to move, watching with curiosity. After the hate, she seemed to love her a bit more. Truly a puppy. Her thought process was beyond comprehension.

Lan Cixing didn’t dare say it was precisely because of Rong Yushu that she was afraid. If today’s incident had involved anyone else, Lan Cixing wouldn’t have cared. Ruining someone else’s reputation, being rumored to be involved with someone else—what did it have to do with Lan Cixing? She didn’t like or love those people. Only Rong Yushu was off-limits.

“Truly as stupid as they come.” Rong Yushu’s knee was already resting on Lan Cixing’s hand. Most of her body weight pressed on the small palm. Lan Cixing didn’t even flinch; she actually seemed to enjoy it.

Rong Yushu then cupped her face and gave those reddened ears a hard squeeze. “In the future, if you encounter someone bullying you like this again, come find me. Do you remember?”

The tips of the ears grew redder and redder, to the point of appearing to bleed. Rong Yushu finally smiled with her fox-like eyes, feeling a sense of satisfaction. “You are my person. I naturally have to… take responsibility for you.”

Even if Lan Cixing hated her, it was fine. She would eventually turn that hate into love.

After saying this, Rong Yushu shook off the clothes covering her bruises. Her body was covered in pinch marks, and they were shocking to look at. They were so prominent that Lan Cixing didn’t immediately realize her upper body was bare. Lan Cixing’s eyes widened; she couldn’t imagine she had caused all this. During her stress response, what exactly had she done? Had she given Rong Yushu a beating? No wonder Rong Yushu said she hated her…

“Now, it’s your turn to take responsibility for me.” Rong Yushu didn’t seem to care, using the injuries as tools for flirting. One touch, one stroke, sending them into Lan Cixing’s heart.

“Also, while you were dazed all afternoon, there were many messages on your phone. I replied to all of them for you.”

As a side note, a big surprise for Lan Cixing.

The hand Lan Cixing was about to use to get the ointment froze in mid-air. How did Rong Yushu unlock it? And, did that include An Yushi’s messages?!

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