The Reason I Made Her My Queen - Chapter 13

What has my life even been?

When I look back and think about it, it feels like there was nothing at all.

“I never thought it would come to this when I entered the royal harem.”

I never imagined such a future would arrive.

Alone in the humble carriage, I let out a deep sigh.

‘Are you really going?’

To be seen off by the Queen herself.

‘Does the Duke know?’

I haven’t informed my brother.

Of course, neither my retired father nor my mother. No one at all…

Because I will no longer be a royal concubine.

The haggard Queen was still beautiful.

A different kind of beauty from mine. Dignified and noble. This is true royalty.

Does the Queen know?

That originally, I was supposed to become the Queen.

My engagement to His Majesty had been decided.

It was the Queen’s country that interfered.

‘Please enter the harem as a royal concubine’

When I was told this, I couldn’t believe my ears.

Why? How? I wondered…

My pride wounded, I burned with anger.

All the more so because I had been conscious of my position as His Majesty’s fiancée, as the future Queen, as someone who would bear the weight of the nation.

‘If you bear a son before the princess of the neighboring country, it will work out.’

‘If you become the mother of the heir, it will be the same. What is there to hesitate about?’

Both my father and my brother spoke of my becoming a concubine as if it were a good thing.

Because they knew… they knew how desperately I wanted to enter the royal family.

That even being a concubine would be acceptable.

But what have I gained over these decades?

Nothing remains.

It was a life of constant loss.

My daughters too.

I was expected by my family to bear a prince.

‘If you have time to care for princesses, you should be receiving His Majesty’s favor instead.’

A family that only wanted the royal family’s power.

Though I bore several children, starting with the First Princess, I couldn’t raise a single one by my side.

‘That is not the work of a concubine.’

‘Bear a prince as quickly as possible.’

‘You entered the harem to produce a prince.’

I was told this like a curse.

A woman who could bear children but never become a mother… that is me.

His Majesty was considerate of me.

I’m sure it was out of pity.

‘Did you love His Majesty?’

When she said that last, the Queen didn’t hide her puzzled expression.

She seemed to have thought I would stay with His Majesty until the end.

She apparently never imagined that his most favored concubine would voluntarily enter a strict convent.

The First Concubine—

So what?

The royal mistress most loved by the King?

How ridiculous.

In the end, I’m just a woman who couldn’t become Queen.

The beautiful, arrogant King is, in truth, terribly timid.

His habit of inviting many women to his bed stems from his fear of being alone.

A man who fears loneliness more than anyone.

His arrogance is a kind of shield to hide that.

The Queen surely doesn’t know that.

His Majesty never taught that to the Queen or his other consorts either.

‘It’s to gain favor.’

I don’t even know if I loved His Majesty.

I simply knew that without gaining favor, I would obtain nothing.

That’s all.

Either way, I have no future.

If you examine history, the fate of a consort who knows this kingdom and palace inside out becomes immediately clear.

“I will flee before meeting a miserable end.”

From what?

The timid King cannot bring himself to kill me.

Before other nobles come to eliminate me.

“Your Majesty, this kingdom ended long ago.”