The Protagonist Always Wants to Find Someone to Commit Suicide With - Chapter 1

“I have been searching for the meaning of my existence.”

Ignoring his water-logged trench coat, Dazai Osamu stepped forward and grasped the brunette “girl’s” hands. “It wasn’t until today, the moment I laid eyes on you, that I finally understood the reason I’ve survived this long.”

“O maiden, more beautiful and enchanting than the stars in the night sky” He gazed into her eyes, his expression brimming with deep, soulful affection. “Would you care to commit double suicide with me?”

Water droplets still clung to his hair, shimmering like crystal as they slid down his forehead and caught the brilliant glint of the afternoon sun.

Natsume Takashi, currently forced into the guise of a young girl, remained silent. Should I call the police?

Thirty Minutes Earlier

Natsume Takashi had originally set out just to run some errands, only to be intercepted by a bizarre-looking spirit (yokai).

As the owner of the “Book of Friends” a ledger said to command hundreds of spirits, he was used to such encounters. Usually, they were either spirits asking for their names back or those attempting to steal the book by force.

The one currently lunging at him was clearly the latter.

“Hand over the Book of Friends!” the spirit shrieked, flailing its arms. Given its diminutive stature, however, it wasn’t particularly threatening.

Natsume’s lip twitched. He knelt down to the spirit’s level. “Do you want your name back? If that’s the case”

Before he could finish, the spirit bolted toward the depths of the forest as if spooked. Before disappearing, it snarled back at him: “If you want to break the curse, bring the Book of Friends to me! I’ll be waiting at the eastern edge of the woods!”

“…” Natsume shook his head helplessly. It takes all kinds.

He turned to continue his errands, but a sudden movement in a roadside puddle caught his eye. The tea-colored pupils of the boy in the reflection shrank in shock. The person staring back at him from the water was undeniably a girl.

“Is it an illusion?” Natsume rubbed his eyes, but when he lowered his hand, he brushed against hair that now reached down to his waist.

What?!!

Had he really turned into a girl? Natsume closed his eyes and took a deep breath. So, this is the “curse” that spirit was talking about?

What kind of curse is this?! Even for someone as accustomed to the supernatural as Natsume, he couldn’t help but criticize the absurdity of the situation.

Regardless, he had to break it. He tried to steady his racing heart.

“Is someone there?” a voice called out.

Natsume stiffened. He was standing near the main road. Since ordinary people couldn’t see spirits, he hadn’t worried about being spotted talking to thin air, but now

He immediately dashed down a side path. He wasn’t far from home; it would be a disaster if a neighbor saw him like this.

The Encounter

“I’m sorry, I decline,” Natsume said, wary of the man standing before him. Is this a spirit? From his attire aside from being a bit eccentric he looked like a normal human.

“Ah, what a pity,” Dazai Osamu sighed. “If I could end it all with a beauty such as yourself, I could truly die without regrets.”

“Um, why were you in the” the river? Natsume asked. He had run here to hide from passersby, only to find a body drifting down the stream.

Definitely a spirit, was his first thought. But after hauling the “corpse” ashore out of concern, he realized the man was very much a living human.

“Ah, I was performing a grand experiment,” Dazai beamed, pulling a book sealed in a waterproof bag from his coat: The Complete Guide to Suicide.

“I see,” Natsume replied, deadpan.

“That reminds me, why is a frail young maiden wandering around a place like this?” Dazai straightened his messy clothes and glanced at the dense canopy above. “It’s not very safe here, is it?”

At this point, Natsume realized there was no way to explain that he was actually a boy or that he had been cursed by a spirit.

“There are special reasons.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, that’s right.” As if suddenly remembering something, Dazai turned to Natsume. “My name is Dazai Osamu. If you ever change your mind about that double suicide, you can find me at the town’s high school. I believe it’s called… Keibun Furuta High. I’m a teacher there.”

“Eh? Mr. Dazai, you’re a teacher?” Natsume’s mind raced through the names of the faculty at his school. When he realized there was no teacher named Dazai, he let out a silent sigh of relief. If they hadn’t crossed paths at school, then the man likely didn’t know who “Natsume Takashi” was.

“Until next time, lovely lady,” Dazai smiled. He shoved his hands into his trench coat pockets and turned toward the exit of the woods. “Be sure to head home soon.”

“Right,” Natsume murmured. He turned around just in time to see Nyanko-sensei (Madara) trotting toward him.

“Sensei! Where have you been?”

“Natsume. What is with that look?” The fat cat immediately burst into laughter. If he hadn’t been intimately familiar with Natsume’s spiritual aura, he would have mistaken him for his grandmother, Natsume Reiko.

“Don’t even start. Sensei, let’s find that spirit and break this curse.”

The “System”

“Let me double-check. Is Natsume Takashi really a boy?” Dazai asked.

[System]: Of course. My database does not make mistakes.

“Then how do you explain what just happened?”

The System was rendered speechless. Even it couldn’t provide a logical explanation for why Natsume Takashi had suddenly become a girl.

Dazai clapped his hands together, his tone turning light. “Well! It’s likely just a spirit’s curse.” The moment Natsume had pulled him from the water; the System had briefed him on this world. Since spirits existed here, a gender-bending curse wasn’t that far-fetched.

[System]: If you already knew, why did you ask me?

Dazai gazed at the vast forest, plucking a leaf from a nearby branch to examine its veins. “And here I thought that river was the Sanzu. Turns out it was just a portal for a ‘transmigration.’” His voice sounded strangely dejected.

[System]: I also don’t understand how some people can trigger a transmigration just by jumping into a river.

Dazai suddenly looked panicked. “Oh no, oh no! My schedule was completely packed! It’ll be a disaster if I’m late getting back.”

“That was a job I spent so much time begging someone for,” he added, his tone growing more aggrieved as he subtly blamed the System.

[System]: What do you want now?

If the System had been fooled by Dazai’s appearance when they first met, it knew better now. Every word out of this man’s mouth was suspect; he was black-hearted to the core. It was still a mystery why such a man had agreed to bind with the System in the first place.

“My being here has something to do with you, doesn’t it?” Dazai asked. “I’ve never had such a strange thing happen before.”

[System]: Oh, really? So, you’re saying that your world’s usual gang wars and supernatural abilities are ‘normal’?

The System paused before replying: While this world wasn’t on the original itinerary. Natsume Takashi is also a target for ‘affection cultivation.’ Once the mission is complete, you should be able to return to your original world.

“So, you’re saying you can’t actually guarantee we can get back?” Dazai caught the underlying uncertainty immediately.

“Yes,” the System admitted, feeling a bit guilty.

In truth, while this world existed in its database, it wasn’t part of the planned route. Every world had numerous “gates” connecting it to others, but they were usually hidden. Unless one used specific method, they were impossible to find.

Heaven only knows how this suicide-obsessed host managed to stumble through a ‘gate.’

Dazai turned back to the System. “Help me forge some identification papers. I’ll need a teaching license, too.”

The System felt an instinctive dread that he was up to no good. “What are you planning?”

“I’m going to be a teacher, obviously!” Dazai said nonchalantly. “I was supposed to be a teacher back in my own world anyway. I might as well get some practice in here.”