The Prime Minister Becomes a Global Sensation After Transmigrating into a Pariah - Chapter 3

The morning sun warmed Lou Yishu’s pale pink eyelids. He stretched lazily and lingered in bed for ten minutes before finally crawling out. Today, he planned to buy a new set of clothes and get a haircut to thoroughly integrate into this world.

He had learned yesterday that Lou Qingtai’s apartment was rented. Due to its excellent location facing south and nestled in a prime district the rent was far from cheap. Lou Yishu had no intention of terminating the lease; first, he had no right to make decisions for Lou Qingtai, and second, he wanted to keep their affairs distinct.

This was why he had created his own Boliao account using his real name as the nickname.

Excited, he opened his phone to search for nearby barbershops, only to find his notifications exploding. His Boliao mentions and private messages were stuck at 99+.

He clicked them open to find a deluge of abuse:

• “First time seeing someone try to wash their reputation by changing accounts. Changing your name too? Hilarious. Heaven knows whose bed you had to crawl into for this resource.”
• “Was the Director’s bed comfortable?”
• “Let me guess what kind of script you’re going to play this time.”
• “Can this piece of sht just go back to his kennel? Such a good cast and you’re the only rat dropping in the pot!”*
• “Above commenter, leave the dogs out of this. They didn’t do anything wrong.”
• “Argh! Director, please don’t give him too much screentime! I don’t want my idol in the same frame as him! [Crying] [Crying] @TravelersLoveDiary”
• “I told everyone who likes you to come to a party. Zero people showed up. Ha.”

The filth was endless, but Lou Yishu felt no emotional disturbance. Had he been eighteen, these words might have stung. But he was twenty-five, a twenty-five-year-old who had served as Prime Minister for seven years. He had been forged in fire.

In court, Lou Yishu had been a neutral party, refusing to engage in factional struggles. Whenever an elder official suggested something absurd or spoke nonsense, Lou Yishu would stand up and speak the blunt truth. Over time, he offended both sides. Those old ministers would mock him at every opportunity, claiming he was unfit for office.

Whenever he looked for a patron or backup, he found himself standing alone. Consequently, he had to go to battle daily, single-handedly debating a crowd of scholars. Once, when pushed too far during a particularly fierce argument, he had even scolded the Emperor.

He didn’t linger in the toxic comment section. The barbershops on the app were too expensive, so he decided to head out and find a cheaper one while picking up some clothes.

After breakfast, he wandered the streets. Eventually, he noticed a stream of students in school uniforms all heading in one direction.

That must be a school, he thought, looking into the distance. He recalled a short video he’d watched yesterday saying that things sold near schools are usually cheaper because students have limited pocket money. Cheap food meant cheap haircuts.

Sure enough, following the trail of students, he found a small barbershop. He pushed the door open to find a young woman playing on her phone.

“Miss, how many silv—how much for a haircut?”

If it was over a hundred yuan, he wouldn’t consider it.

“A student cut is twenty-five.” The shop owner looked up, her words trailing off into a mechanical stutter as if her internal processor had glitched. “Wash cut and blow-dry, is thirty-five.”

He’s so beautiful, Lin Hui thought, staring blankly at the beauty who had suddenly dropped into her shop. She couldn’t look away.

“I’ll just take the student cut, then.” Lou Yishu had washed his hair yesterday and wanted to save the ten yuan. Seeing her staring, he felt a bit embarrassed, wondering if he had breakfast crumbs on his face. He rubbed his cheek but felt nothing.

“Come, come. Sit down.”

Snapping out of it, Lin Hui led him to a chair. She ran her fingers through his long hair, her eyes still glued to his reflection. She muttered to herself, “Student cut? Tsk, no. A textured fringe would suit you. Want to try a perm? A Japanese style would look amazing, what should I do.”

Seeing her hesitate to pick up the scissors, Lou Yishu looked back at her in confusion. When Lin Hui leaned down slightly, she met his upward-looking gaze and felt a massive “critical hit” to her heart from his sheer beauty. She awkwardly rubbed her nose thankfully, no nosebleed.

Staring at the masterpiece in the mirror, she fell into deep thought. After a moment, she slapped his shoulder. “Wait here!”

She hurried into the back room and up the stairs. Soon, Lou Yishu heard a resonant shout:

“Grandma!!!”

Grandma Lin appeared, looking kind and gentle. She scolded her granddaughter with a smile. “Don’t mind her. She’s like this whenever she sees someone handsome. She insisted I be the one to cut your hair.”

Lou Yishu smiled warmly. “It is no matter. I find the young lady quite lively and charming.”

By now, Lin Hui didn’t dare look at him, hiding behind her grandmother.

“This is real hair, isn’t it? My, it looks like you’ve grown it for a very long time. Are you sure you want to part with it?” Grandma Lin touched his hair, her eyes unreadable for a split second before she hid her expression behind a jolly smile. “It’s a pity to cut it, but I can buy the hair from you.”

“Buy my hair?” Lou Yishu was puzzled.

“Yes! This hair is so long and thick, and I can tell it’s never been dyed or permed. It’s been exceptionally well-maintained. Unlike girls, you don’t need to keep any length. I can give you over a thousand yuan for it,” she chuckled.

“Truly? Grandma?” At the mention of money, Lou Yishu turned his head instantly to meet her eyes.

“Truly, truly! Hahaha!” Grandma Lin laughed. He was so handsome that when he looked up with those sparkling eyes, he was incredibly endearing. “I’m giving you the highest price in town.”

Thus, Lou Yishu left the shop with the trendiest modern hairstyle. Not only did he not pay a cent, but he walked out with 1,200 yuan in his pocket.

Time flew. Lou Yishu spent three days hoistered in the apartment, frantically catching up on modern knowledge. As a brilliant former Prime Minister, his learning ability was top-tier. After a few days of effort, he had mostly adapted to simplified characters. While he couldn’t write them well yet, he could recognize most of them.

He downloaded more apps and read the news. Fire outbreaks had been frequent in Linzhou recently, and while arson was confirmed, the culprit remained at large. Another headline was the filming of Movie Star Qiao Yuxi’s first-ever variety show.

Lou Yishu researched every bit of information he could find on the other guests. To know one’s self and one’s enemy is the key to a hundred victories. Tomorrow was the first day of filming the pilot episode. He fell asleep feeling a mix of trepidation and excitement.

In the morning, Lou Yishu finished getting ready and took a taxi to the filming location. He had specifically changed into a new outfit he’d bought from a street stall. The old man selling them had stroked his beard and claimed they were “trendy brands,” even offering a “buy one, get one free” deal. Lou Yishu had been delighted to save more money.

Though the outfit was simple and plain white, Lou Yishu had a perfect physique and height. The clothes didn’t look cheap on him at all; in fact, the cut seemed tailored to his frame.

Upon arrival, he went backstage to the makeup room. As he entered, everyone turned to glance at him. The atmosphere instantly turned to ice. Everyone stopped working, their eyes fixed on him. Then, someone coughed, and like a machine being wound up, the room hummed back to life.

There were many staff members backstage. A “pariah” like Lou Yishu usually had to find a stray makeup artist to help, whereas A-list stars like Qiao Yuxi had their own teams and private rooms.

Scanning the room, Lou Yishu noticed an idle makeup artist in the corner and approached her. “Hello, could you please help me with my makeup?”

Lili looked up, rolled her eyes, and snapped, “Can’t you see I’m busy? Wait your turn.”

Thinking she might have an emergency, Lou Yishu found a stool and sat down. He didn’t expect that even sitting quietly would draw ire.

“Who told you that you could sit there!” Lili stood up, pointing a finger at his nose. “Do you know whose seat that is? Get up! Wearing that knock-off street trash, don’t get the chair dirty!”

Lili was fuming. She had worked hard to get onto the crew of this variety show. She hadn’t expected to land Qiao Yuxi, but she never imagined she’d be assigned to this “pariah.” To her, working on him was a disgrace. She had already bragged to her friends, and now they were all laughing at her.

Lou Yishu stood up obediently and looked down at her. Noticing her emotional instability, he asked tentatively, “Miss, are you on your period?”

Women sometimes have unstable days due to hormones, he reasoned.

Lili’s face contorted, her foundation cracking in the creases of her scowl. “Are you f*cking sick in the head?!”

“My mothe—my mom is not sick,” Lou Yishu replied, stunned by the sudden mention of his mother. Realizing he might have hit a nerve, he added earnestly, “If it is not your menses, perhaps you should see a physician. Health is paramount. Or perhaps you could go to an apothecary and fetch some Bupleurum, Angelica, White Peony, and Atractylodes…”

“Shut up! You want makeup? Come here.” Lili rudely cut him off.

Lou Yishu tilted his head slightly. Seeing her rejection, he didn’t push. Those herbs were actually very effective; during his first two years as Prime Minister, his own emotions were volatile, and his servants often brewed that specific tonic for him. It was also excellent for regulating cycles.

What do they call this in modern terms? Ah, no worker is truly sane.

Lili dragged him to the corner. Ignoring his actual skin tone, she grabbed a random foundation and smeared it on his face with brutal force. When she finished, his face was darker than his neck. Before he could object, she drew his eyebrows two thick lines that looked like centipedes.

She wasn’t done. She took a large brush, slammed it into a blush palette, and aimed for his cheekbones.

“Wait—” Lou Yishu didn’t know much about makeup, but he’d seen his mother apply rouge. He chose his words carefully, not wanting to be cruel. “Miss, your professional ability seems somewhat lacking.”

“You don’t want it?” Lili’s face darkened. She was intentionally making him ugly, but being questioned on her professional skill made her snap. “Be grateful someone is even willing to touch your face. Stop being so picky.”

She slammed her kit down on him and barked, “If you’re so talented, do it yourself! You’re so ugly anyway, don’t blame me for the result.”

She spitefully took a photo of him on her phone and stormed out of the room. The other artists watched her leave but didn’t interfere. Word had already spread: whoever helped Lou Qingtai would be packing their bags. Lili was just the unlucky soul assigned to him.

“Am I truly ugly? I thought I looked normal.” Lou Yishu muttered to his reflection. He didn’t recognize a single item on the table, let alone how to remove the mess.

Just then, someone unexpected entered.

“Teacher Lin Chunyan, Teacher Lin!” The artists in the room, famous or not, all rushed to greet her.

All except Lou Yishu, who sat in the corner brooding over his makeup.

Lin Chunyan looked at the youth in the corner. He looked familiar. After greeting the others, she walked over and heard him whispering to himself: “Apply foundation to the back of the hand, wet the sponge.”

“Xiao Shu—” Lin Chunyan gasped. No wonder the silhouette looked familiar; she was the one who had cut his hair!

Lou Yishu turned around with a smile. Before he could speak, she gasped again. “Who turned you into this?!”

Her brow furrowed. With that makeup, only his eyes were still visible.

At that moment, Lin Hui came bouncing in, clutching a shopping bag. “Grandma! My idol-hunt was a success! I—Holy sh*t!”

She had just come from Qiao Yuxi’s room and wanted to share her joy, only to see her “beauty” turned into a calico cat. “Brother Yishu? What the f*ck!!!”

Lou Yishu was happy to see familiar faces. “Miss Lin, Grandma Lin, we meet again. The artist’s technique was… perhaps a bit unrefined. I was just about to attempt a remedy.”

Grandma Lin looked at the innocent youth and shook her silver-haired head. She signaled to her granddaughter and patted Lou Yishu’s head affectionately. “I’ll do it! Grandma will fix you up.”

Lin Hui, catching the hint, took her phone and stepped outside to call the Director.

Lou Yishu’s skin was naturally radiant and needed no foundation. Grandma Lin looked at his cheap outfit and frowned slightly. As she reshaped his eyebrows and adjusted his eye makeup, she chatted casually. “Xiao Shu, Grandma happens to have an outfit here. You’ll wear it for the show later.”

She applied a hint of orange eyeshadow to his lower lids and blended it with a pale blush, giving his whole face a soft, ethereal charm.

“Grandma, you have already helped me so much.” Lou Yishu felt guilty. He hadn’t earned such kindness, and Grandma Lin was the first source of warmth he’d found in this world.

She tapped his forehead with a makeup brush and laughed. “You’re going on television! If you wear Grandma’s clothes, you’re doing an advertisement for me! I should be the one thanking you!”

After several rounds of polite refusal, seeing that she was truly going to get upset, Lou Yishu accepted.

“Xiao Shu has such a good figure; you’ll look wonderful in Grandma’s clothes. Hahaha!”

Watching her laugh with her chin tilted up, Lou Yishu dazed for a moment, his dark eyes still. Lin Hui returned from her call, and Lou Yishu snapped back to reality. Grandma Lin thrust the boutique bag into his arms and sent him to change.

Meanwhile, a hashtag was climbing the trending charts on Boliao: #TravelLoveGuestLouYishuIsUgly