The Premeditated Seductress Childhood Friend - Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Knowing

Driving down along the stream, they reached a serene, silent lake. Song Yixi parked the car and went to the trunk to get the picnic basket. She had made some sandwiches and brought drinks.

Xu Qingyu got out of the car carrying her blanket. She found a smooth rock to sit on, draped the blanket over her knees, and let her legs dangle down, nearly touching the lake water. She pulled them back slightly to avoid wetting her shoes.

Song Yixi placed the basket behind her, took off her shoes, and sat down beside her, letting her own legs soak recklessly in the lake.

“Want to take your shoes off?”

“Mhm.”

Xu Qingyu lifted her legs and rested them on Song Yixi’s lap. Song Yixi habitually helped her remove them, placing them neatly beside her own.

“It’s a bit chilly, give it a try.” Song Yixi held her ankles, carefully guiding her feet into the water.

It was cold at first touch, but they gradually grew accustomed to it. A gentle breeze blew; it was quite comfortable. Song Yixi helped her adjust the blanket.

“Just a quick soak should be fine, right?”

Xu Qingyu shook her head. “It’s fine.”

Song Yixi lowered her head, stirring the lake water. “Actually, I wasn’t sure where to take you. I just remembered coming here as a kid; it’s beautiful, and I wanted you to see it.” She added, “The weather today is just right.”

Not too hot, not too stuffy, with sunshine and a mild breeze. They sat there quietly, as if they had arrived at a hidden paradise. Xu Qingyu didn’t speak, leaning her head against Song Yixi’s shoulder. Their height difference made this posture perfectly comfortable.

Song Yixi lifted her hand, wanting to put an arm around her, but withdrew it before making contact. She had some reservations.

“Xu Qingyu, I want to tell you something.” She had wanted to say it last night, but the atmosphere had been too awkward.

Xu Qingyu closed her eyes. “Mhm, go ahead.”

Song Yixi licked her lips, hesitant. “Do you know… that two girls… can be in a relationship?” She had thought about this for a long time and felt she shouldn’t keep Xu Qingyu in the dark. Xu Qingyu might not understand these things now, but what if she found out later? They had kissed so many times; Song Yixi felt she was taking advantage of her.

Xu Qingyu remained unfazed. “Mhm. And?”

“And…” Song Yixi bit her lip, struggling. It took a long time before she said, “I can’t kiss you anymore. It’s not good for you.”

Xu Qingyu slowly opened her eyes. Her tone was calm. “In what way is it not good?”

Song Yixi’s confidence wavered, her voice dropping lower. “What if… what if you end up liking girls?”

Xu Qingyu laughed. “What? Afraid I’ll like you?”

“No.” Song Yixi’s mind was a mess. “I’m afraid the girl you like might get angry if she finds out you’ve kissed me.”

Xu Qingyu sat up and looked her directly in the eye, appearing completely indifferent. “Then let her be angry. What does that have to do with you?”

Song Yixi was speechless, feeling a bitter pang in her heart. She turned away, wanting to drop the subject, but Xu Qingyu caught her chin, forcing her gaze back.

“Song Yixi, what about you? Would you like a girl?”

Song Yixi answered honestly, “I don’t know.” She had never liked anyone, boy or girl.

Xu Qingyu let go. “Then think about it now.”

Song Yixi rubbed her chin unnaturally; the warmth of Xu Qingyu’s touch still lingered there. “Why do I have to think about that?”

Xu Qingyu countered, “Then why do you have to worry about whether the girl I like will be angry because we’ve kissed?” She said each word deliberately: “Who do you think could ever exist in my life that would surpass the bond between us?”

Song Yixi lacked that confidence. “Our bond… is it that deep?”

Xu Qingyu frowned. “After all these years, you’re asking me that?”

Song Yixi gave a self-mocking laugh. “You asked why I ran off to pick herbs for you. Do you know why I haven’t said anything for so many years? Because after I gave you those herbs, all you said was not to do something that makes people worry. Your words and your expression made me feel… very stupid.”

It wasn’t just realizing she had believed a fairy tale as an adult that made her feel stupid. It was Xu Qingyu’s reaction at the time that made her realize it instantly. Similar things had happened more than once.

Xu Qingyu’s frown deepened. “Ever since I got WeChat, I’ve used that as my profile picture. Didn’t you see it?”

Song Yixi said, “Between what I see and what I hear, I can only choose to believe one.” She wasn’t a vain person; she didn’t dare assume Xu Qingyu used that photo because she cared. She would tell herself that perhaps Xu Qingyu just thought the herb was unique. After all, if you don’t hope, you won’t be disappointed.

Xu Qingyu sighed, feeling quite helpless. But she knew this was her own fault. In the past, she had given Song Yixi far too few hints.

“Then I’ll say it again properly.” Xu Qingyu shifted her position to face Song Yixi directly. She said seriously, “The elixir of life in fairy tales might not be fake. When I saw it, I really did stop feeling the pain.”

This was the answer Song Yixi had waited over a decade for. Her eyes grew moist, and her lips trembled as she asked, “Did it really stop hurting?”

“It didn’t hurt.” Xu Qingyu’s voice was filled with doting tenderness. “There is no one else in this world who would pick an elixir of life for me. Therefore, there will never be a second person between us.”

Song Yixi was only half-understanding. “Between us?”

Xu Qingyu confirmed, “Mhm. You don’t need to worry about anyone else appearing. I won’t like anyone else.”

“Oh~” Song Yixi’s shoulders slumped. She turned her back to Xu Qingyu and secretly wiped the corner of her eye. She felt like crying—not because no one else would come between them, but because the current Xu Qingyu was finally willing to openly tell her whether she was in pain or not. She cared about that much more.

Xu Qingyu waited for her to compose herself. Seeing her sit up straight again, she asked, “Are you still worried about us kissing?”

Song Yixi sniffled, her gaze drifting again. “You still haven’t told me… did you know two girls could be in a relationship?”

“I knew.” Xu Qingyu didn’t intend to hide it. “I’ve known for a long time. Around tenth grade, I bought a book online, and the seller sent the wrong item. I was too lazy to return it, so I flipped through it. That book told the story of two girls. Later, I looked up some more information—real cases, movies, anime, books. I saw a bit of everything, so I understood well enough.”

Song Yixi was surprised. “I can’t believe you’d look into that.” She thought Xu Qingyu was only interested in medical texts.

Xu Qingyu smiled but didn’t elaborate.

She wasn’t interested at first. She had frowned after two pages and left the book on her desk. That was the summer before high school; it was scorching outside, and since she couldn’t go out, she sat by the window reading every day. At the end of the summer, Song Yixi returned from a trip. She stood downstairs, waving her hand and calling her name.

Xu Qingyu remembered it vividly. Song Yixi, whom she hadn’t seen for just over a month, had shot up in height. She stood there with long limbs, baked by the sun, her face brimming with a bright, radiant smile.

Xu Qingyu looked at her, and it took a long time to realize: without Song Yixi, her life was incredibly dull.