The Person I Loved Hated Me - Chapter 5

The next day, Eivard visited Clara’s home accompanied by Franz to avoid suspicion. Though a knight, he thought it improper for a man to visit alone lest strange rumors spread.

It was true that he might not need to go, but Clara lived alone with her brother Isaac. Since Isaac was away on an expedition expected to last a month, there was no one to check on her injured condition.

Unlike trained individuals like Eivard and his men, the slender and delicate Clara was undoubtedly suffering from full-body pain.

Eivard had previously directed his anger completely unrelated to them at both Isaac, whom he knew, and Clara, whom he’d never met. He’d even uttered insults that should never have been spoken.

He didn’t expect forgiveness and knew it was unwise to get involved with her.

Although he had decided to leave it to Franz, he couldn’t stop worrying about Clara’s condition and spent the entire day restless.

So, after finishing work, Eivard invited Franz to go check on Clara.

“Even if I, as an old acquaintance who’s maintained a friendly relationship with Isaac, go… isn’t it completely outside your duties as Captain to visit?”

“…I know.”

This subordinate seemed highly interested in what might be Eivard’s first romantic involvement, grinning as he tagged along.

In Eivard’s hand was warm soup he’d purchased along the way. He’d specially ordered it for takeout from a slightly upscale shop, different from yesterday. The fact that he’d placed the order that morning showed he’d fully intended to go.

Since it was after work, it was already dark outside. He couldn’t help worrying that Clara, having been attacked just yesterday, might be feeling vulnerable and crying.

Yet when he arrived and knocked, a cheerful voice answered and the door swung open energetically, startling Eivard.

How careless could she be, having just been assaulted by a ruffian? If this was his sister, Isaac would surely be worried too. Eivard felt he understood why Isaac had once refused promotion to division commander.

If this was how things were, then with Isaac away, he had to protect Clara himself. Just as this convenient thought crossed his mind.

“Clara. It’s dangerous! You should check who’s at the door before opening it.” Franz smiled as he cautioned her.

Clara’s shining eyes shifted away from Eivard.

“Oh, Franz, you’re here too! Sorry, I was lost in a fantasy and just opened it without thinking.”

“Fantasy?”

“What about?” Eivard murmured without thinking.

Clara blushed, looked down shyly and said, “It’s nothing.”

How adorable…

No.

He caught himself staring and snapped out of it. Beside him, Franz grinned and nudged him with his elbow.

Though he’d been unbearably worried, she seemed fine. Relieved, Eivard held out the bag containing the soup.

“If you’d like it.”

“For me?”

“I thought your injuries might make it hard for you to move around.”

“Thank you. It smells wonderful.”

“I had it made at a place I frequent. I hope it suits your taste.”

“Thank you for your kindness. I’ll gratefully accept it then.”

He felt happy receiving her radiant smile. Trying not to show it on his face, Eivard reminded himself of what he’d done to her and her brother to check his own feelings, when Clara said, “Please, let me make some tea,” and swung the door wide to invite them inside.

“No, at this hour…”

“Don’t mind if we do!”

Though Eivard tried to refuse, Franz stepped inside without hesitation, feigning innocence. At a loss for words, Eivard was urged again with “Please,” and followed Franz inside.

What have I done? He’d entered the home of a man he opposed and disliked. Moreover, Isaac wasn’t here. The situation was different from yesterday when he’d brought the injured Clara home, and he felt like he was doing something wrong.

Invited to sit at the dining table, he felt uncomfortable but again followed Franz’s lead and sat down.

He wasn’t their longtime friend. He was someone they should be wary of. He knew he shouldn’t get deeply involved, but his emotions took priority and his body moved on its own.

“Franz, it’s been two years, hasn’t it?”

“Nah, probably just over a year. I was surprised to see you yesterday after so long. How are you feeling?”

“Not completely recovered… but I’ve gotten much better since this afternoon. This morning was rough so I took off work, but it feels like I played hooky.”

“Work seems to be going well. That Isaac guy was bragging about the piercings you made for him.”

“It was the first time I made everything myself.”

Clara prepared tea while chatting cheerfully with Franz. Seeing how comfortably Franz fit into the room without any tension made Eivard jealous of their closeness.

“Someone teased him about being ‘flashy’,” Franz said.

Eivard’s eyes widened at Franz’s words.

They were indeed his words, but did Franz have to reveal them here and now? He panicked.

Selfishly, he didn’t want Clara to dislike him.

But ignoring Eivard’s concern, Clara laughed cutely and said, “What’s that? ‘Flashy’ doesn’t suit Isaac at all.”

“Right? That guy’s so stiff,” Franz agreed, glancing meaningfully at Eivard from the corner of his eye.

“Oh? Now that you mention it, Franz, you don’t have piercings either.”

The “either” implied she’d noticed Eivard didn’t have any either. Happiness welled up inside him that she’d been looking at him, not just Franz.

“Not many knights wear accessories since they might get injured in combat.”

“Eh, really!?”

Clara turned around sharply with the teapot in hand. Eivard worried the hot water inside might spill and burn her.

“Isaac was happy with them, so don’t worry about it.”

“Eh? Ah… yeah.”

Clara’s response was hesitant. Somehow, she seemed downcast.

While quietly listening to their exchange, Eivard was served tea in a cup by Clara who said, “Here you go.”

A sweet fragrance—the kind women would like, he thought—when Franz continued, “Your preferences haven’t changed,” as if to emphasize his closeness with Clara.

“You liked it too, didn’t you Franz? Have your tastes changed?”

“Haven’t changed at all. It’s perfect for a tired body. Right, Captain?”

Suddenly put on the spot, Eivard replied, “Ah, sure,” without really understanding.

Then Clara, sitting across from him, bowed her head politely and said, “Thank you for yesterday.”

“It was my job. No need to thank me.”

He answered stiffly, wanting to hide his guilty conscience, but immediately regretted it might have sounded cold. So he hastily added, “I’m glad you seem well.”

“I think it helped that I received treatment right away. See, my cheek isn’t even swollen.”

He felt she was indirectly saying it was thanks to him, and his heart lifted.

Those strangely sparkling purple eyes were directed at him, and their owner was looking at him favorably.

Eivard felt he couldn’t go on like this, being increasingly drawn to her.

“I’m glad it didn’t get worse.”

Yet he spoke gentle words, wanting Clara to like him too. Precisely because he knew she viewed him favorably, he didn’t want to lose that regard.

“It’s thanks to you, Lord Eivard.”

Saying this, Clara looked down shyly. So adorable that just watching her filled his heart.

How happy he would be if he could express these feelings.

But Eivard vividly remembered all the cowardly things he’d done. Moreover, between him and Clara stood the insurmountable wall of noble and commoner.

A commoner’s daughter cannot marry a noble’s son.

While it wasn’t uncommon for younger sons without titles to leave nobility and become commoners, even the failure of the Trulin Marquis house was entitled to a title, and was in a position where he had to use his excellent looks to make marriages beneficial to the Trulin Marquis house.

If Eivard confessed his feelings to Clara and was accepted, the only option would be to make her his mistress.

He who had disparaged her as a mistress’s daughter would make the disparaged girl (Clara) his mistress.

He could never make such an adorable, lovely, beautiful woman live in the shadows.

These feelings of Eivard’s must remain secret forever.

He felt this was his punishment for having taken out his frustrations not only on the unrelated Isaac, but on Clara as well.