The Person I Loved Hated Me - Chapter 39

The squad led by Eivard primarily handled public security maintenance. The ten units under Isaac’s command gathered many skilled in rough work, accepting requests from lords to embark on expeditions throughout the kingdom, but Eivard rarely traveled far for investigations.

One of their duties was patrolling the town. Areas were assigned to each squad for rounds, and by chance, Eivard was responsible for the area including Clara’s workplace and home.

So, under the pretext of work, he often went to check on her. If he could see her, he would sometimes call out.

But today, the moment he spotted her, he hid himself.

Clara was walking with a man around her age. Perhaps on their way back from shopping, they were carrying paper bags and walking while chatting happily.

It was easy to guess they had gone shopping together after lunch in the early afternoon, and that was likely the case.

But the way they walked side by side looked just like a newlywed couple on their day off, and it made his chest tighten.

Clara occasionally looked up at the man walking beside her and laughed without a care. The way the man watched Clara made it clear he had feelings for her.

She was supposed to be working today, it couldn’t be her day off. He also recognized the man next to her. Without a doubt, he was from the same workshop.

No matter how many times he confirmed in his memory that this was true, the fact that Clara’s smile was directed at another man wouldn’t disappear.

That man could stand shoulder to shoulder with Clara without any obstacles. More than jealousy, he felt a panic that she might be taken from him. Clara had undoubtedly been captivated by Eivard and held feelings for him. But there was no guarantee her heart would stay fixed on him forever.

It felt as if the ground had crumbled beneath him, leaving him unsteady and unbearably anxious.

Unable to restrain himself, Eivard finished his work without calming down and rushed to Isaac.

“I would never act dishonestly. Could I have your permission to confess my feelings to Clara?”

Eivard currently had a nominal fiancée.

It was an engagement meant to bring down the Trulin Marquis house, and though it would eventually be dissolved and even if Eivard didn’t acknowledge it—publicly, the two were engaged.

This could only be called dishonest. But he couldn’t bear not telling Clara how he felt.

Eivard was aware of Clara’s feelings, but Clara was not. If she found out about his engagement, beyond the difference in status, and gave up on him for another man, Eivard would be unable to recover. He would lose his reason to live.

So, following what was customary among nobles, he asked for permission from Clara’s guardian to confess.

He knew commoners had no such rules, but because he had always been honest with Isaac and Clara, he decided to confess everything openly and keep no secrets.

Seeing Eivard’s desperate demeanor, Isaac let out a long sigh.

“You don’t have to report every little thing like this.”

Isaac didn’t wish for Clara and Eivard to be together. In fact, he had even asked Eivard to break things off with her. At first, Eivard had intended to do so, but now that he had resolved himself, giving up was no longer an option.

Even if he was rejected and told no, he was prepared to beg for forgiveness as many times as needed. For Eivard, who had made up his mind, the word “give up” had vanished.

“From your perspective, I must seem unworthy of her. I think so too. I can’t forgive myself for what’s happened so far.”

Hurting Clara, who had done nothing wrong, must be unforgivable to Isaac, who had been by her side since birth. Unlike Eivard, the siblings had supported each other through life, and their strong bond was evident.

“But I want to carve out a future with her. I want to give it my all and not crush the possibility. Please, I beg you.”

Bracing himself to be told not to be a fool and possibly even hit, he bowed his head. In response, Isaac sighed again and patted his shoulder.

“Eivard. Let me take back what I said before. I trust you.”

At those words, Eivard lifted his head sharply. The man standing before him had a pained expression, his brow furrowed as he averted his gaze.

“Lately, Clara has seemed desperate. Probably because she found out you have a fiancée. It’s painful to watch her put on a brave face and smile brightly, trying not to let it show.”

Isaac didn’t blame Eivard for having a fiancée; he was just worried about Clara.

“I don’t doubt your feelings. But I thought even if you two got together, you couldn’t be happy. You both understand each other’s positions. I hoped you would find a way to settle your feelings.”

Isaac was right. Precisely because Eivard had feelings for Clara, he had tried to give up, believing he couldn’t make her happy.

But he had found a way to abandon the Trulin Marquis house. That option existed, and his past gave him the push to carry it out. The situation had changed.

“What about your fiancée?”

“The young lady and I will mutually annul the engagement. But Duke Winslet’s schemes are involved, so the timing is uncertain.”

It would be within a year at the latest, but Eivard couldn’t wait that long. He intended to expedite his removal from the Trulin Marquis house and use that momentum to force the annulment.

“You won’t make her your mistress, will you?”

“If it came to that, I’d rather kidnap her and run away.”

The option of giving up was gone.

Hearing Eivard’s resolve, Isaac looked at him and said, “I see.”

“Please take care of Clara. But if possible, I want her to walk in the light of day.”

Isaac probably thought it was impossible for Eivard to abandon the Trulin Marquis house. Through his service as a knight, he had witnessed the ways of nobles and learned from them.

Yet, to Isaac, who had acknowledged him and granted his request, Eivard bowed deeply.

If his removal succeeded, it wouldn’t come to that. Eivard swore to himself he would make it happen, no matter what.