The Person I Loved Hated Me - Chapter 30

Someone was calling my name from afar. Whose voice was this? It sounded desperate, yet hearing it made me happy; a low voice that carried no ill will. If anything, I loved it; I wanted to keep listening, to be called again.

“…Clara, can you hear me, Clara?”

“Huh? Lord Eivard…?”

Before I knew it, a beautiful face was right beside me. If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.

“Are you all right? You seemed dazed, your focus wasn’t clear. Did you hit your head or something?”

I was being stared at by those blue eyes. His brows were furrowed with worry, yet his gaze seemed to scrutinize Clara as if missing nothing. Ah, how beautiful he was.

“Clara, are you okay?”

Franz seemed worried too but he was half-smiling. Thanks to that, I caught a glimpse of reality.

No, I saw it, and my heartbeat sped up abnormally.

“I-I’m fine. Lord Eivard’s attack power is just too much.”

“Huh? Attack power?”

I meant to reply to Franz, but Eivard reacted, tilting his head.

“Lieutenant~. She’s been taken out by the captain’s sex appeal. What happened just because Clara came?”

“Nothing happened. I’m acting normally.”

“Huh? Even I’ve never seen the captain with such a full-faced smile before. Seems like you were called to the castle this morning. Did something good happen there?”

From Franz’s words, it seemed Eivard was acting strange today. So that was it. He was so bewitching, oozing sensuality and beauty. His appearance, several times more beautiful and radiant than usual, was enough to corrupt anyone.

If he had been like this when we first met, Clara would have fainted for sure. There, there, this isn’t my fault. Even though I made a fool of myself, everyone would understand it was natural.

“Something good, you say… Yes, Clara. I have something important to discuss with you.”

“With me?”

That’s when Clara suddenly realized, she was being held by a half-naked Eivard.

She was sitting on Eivard’s lap, enveloped by his strong arms, and right before her eyes was his bare chest.

Blood rushed to her head again, and just as she was about to make another “squeak” sound and lose consciousness.

“Lord Eivard!!” A voice like a scream rang out as a young woman charged forward.

The woman shouted, “What are you doing to my Lord Eivard!?” and tried to drag Clara off his lap. But Eivard, still holding Clara, stood up smoothly and distanced himself from the woman.

“You are Lady Notoria, the viscount’s daughter, I believe. And what, pray tell, do you mean by ‘my’ (・・・・)?”

A voice cold enough to freeze the surroundings came from the beautiful Eivard. Though directed at the woman who had charged forward—Lady Notoria—the sheer terror of it helped calm Clara’s racing heart.

Even so, she was too embarrassed to touch Eivard’s exposed skin. When Clara glanced at Franz for help, he understood and pulled her out of Eivard’s arms.

Eivard didn’t resist letting Clara go, shielding her behind his back as if protecting her from the woman.

“It means exactly what I said! After all, I am Lord Eivard’s fiancée!”

“I don’t understand. I made it clear that I refused any connection with you, didn’t I?”

“But the engagement has been arranged. I will marry Lord Eivard!”

The young lady declared proudly and loudly, while Eivard fixed her with an icy stare. No matter how you looked at it, they didn’t seem like an engaged couple. Just a delusional woman obsessing unilaterally.

“I told you I have someone I love. Besides, I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Lilia! And I’ll tolerate a mistress!”

“Lady Notoria, let me state this clearly once more. I will not marry you.”

“Our marriage is a political one. It’s already arranged, you can’t be selfish!”

It seemed Eivard had refused both the engagement and marriage with this young lady. But it appeared things had progressed without his knowledge.

The blood drained from Clara’s entire body. Her head spun from the rush and retreat of blood.

As the woman said, in noble marriages, family interests take precedence over personal will. Clara knew that. But did she have to witness this exchange right before her eyes?

What a day. Not just today—lately, nothing good had happened.

No matter how much Clara wished for it, she could never stand by Eivard’s side, while this woman, simply by being born a noble, could spend her life with him. She knew it, but it was frustrating.

And what pierced Clara’s heart most of all was Eivard’s words: “I have someone I love.”

His declaration even felt brave.

There was someone Eivard loved.

Faced with this reality, Clara was shocked. It felt like an arrow had struck her chest, and blood was sluggishly flowing without stopping.

Why was this? Even though she knew it was hopeless, she was jealous and her heart ached. Her carefree self, who had thought she could enjoy love, was so ridiculous it was beyond saving.

Was this how her mother felt when she gave birth to the child of a married man?

Did her mother accept everything and decide to raise a fatherless child, the child of the man she loved? Even though he was someone so cruel he wouldn’t even allow the child to know his name, did her mother still love him?

If now, impossibly, if by some chance Eivard desired her… Clara would surely choose the same path as her mother. In her current state, feeling despair over being unwanted, it would be impossible not to choose that path.

Lady Notoria was ranting about how they were engaged, how she would marry him. Even under Eivard’s harsh gaze, she didn’t flinch. Probably because she understood the absolute bond within noble society.

“How cruel, to break off an engagement! Don’t make me damaged goods!”

“If this engagement is real, then it’s a sham. Because I haven’t consented or signed anything. Even if the family head’s wishes come first, as an adult, I should have to sign myself.”

“I don’t know about that! All I know is the fact that Lord Eivard and I are engaged!”

Noble engagements and marriages are managed by the state. As Eivard said, the family head’s wishes are prioritized, but for engagement documents submitted to the state, if the parties are adults, their own signatures are required.

There was no way Eivard, who had refused on the spot, would sign. But Clara, unaware of this, could only accept the fact that they were engaged.

“Franz, I think I’ll head home now.”

She couldn’t bear to watch the two who would likely be united in the near future. Even if that weren’t the case, Eivard had someone he loved enough to declare publicly without shame. This was torture.

“Yeah. That young lady seems persistent.”

He said he had something important to discuss, but she didn’t want to hear it. Surely, he would gently tell her something like, “I have someone I love, so please stay away.”

She felt ashamed of herself for getting so worked up just because Eivard smiled at her. She wasn’t in a position to be so giddy…

Clara had Franz escort her to the knight barracks’ gate. When she glanced back, Lady Notoria was trying to hug Eivard, but he avoided her. Even rejected and met with cold eyes, she didn’t give up—she must have immense confidence. Clara envied that.

“Hey, Clara?”

“Yeah?”

As they parted, Franz scratched his head awkwardly, avoiding her gaze, but spoke as if to comfort her.

“About that young lady, Captain Eivard is genuinely troubled by her.”

“That’s obvious just from looking.”

“If you say so…”

“I wonder who Lord Eivard’s loved one is. Someone like me is probably disliked…”

“Huh?”

Franz made a strange face, as if stifling a laugh, and tilted his head.

“Well then, thanks for today!”

As if hiding her depressed, jealous feelings, Clara waved cheerfully and turned on her heel. “Clara!” he called to stop her, but she pretended not to hear and ran.

After that, she returned to the workshop and threw herself into her work. Immersing herself endlessly in meticulous, patient craftsmanship made her forget all the unpleasant things.

Even after passing her usual time to head home, she kept working until Isaac came to pick her up. She had broken their promise to contact him if work kept her late, otherwise to return before dark but he didn’t say anything, just stayed by her side, watching over her until she finished a section of her work.