The Person I Loved Hated Me - Chapter 25

Leaning his cheek on his hand, Dian reached for the dinner laid out on the table. He rudely plucked a nut from the salad, tossed it into his mouth, and crunched it loudly as he chewed.

“And I was trying to make her happy.”

He had called in a chef from a famous restaurant to prepare this lavish dinner so he could enjoy it with Clara. He’d even specially prepared chocolate confections for dessert, knowing they were her favorite but it had all been for nothing.

He had intended to discuss the matter of her becoming his mistress while they enjoyed the meal together. That way, he thought he could ease the mind of Clara, who was always reserved and hesitant due to concerns about their difference in status. Since her own mother had been a mistress, he had assumed that even a commoner who would normally only be permitted monogamy might accept the arrangement.

“Was it all just my selfish assumptions?”

His muttering echoed through the empty dining hall.

“Even without those eyes, she’s adorable. I don’t dislike her… no, I’m quite fond of her. I’m offering her a mansion and a life free from want. What could she possibly be dissatisfied with?”

Sullenly, he grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed it into his mouth without tearing it.

Amid his busy schedule, he had thought about how to make Clara happy and arranged for the mansion. He had even personally checked the menu for this very meal. For the chocolate confections, he’d had them crafted into rose shapes, thinking a young girl would like that and yet it had all gone to waste.

“Could it be that all of this is my fault?”

He found Clara’s otherwise ordinary brown hair special because it was straight, soft, and made him want to touch it. Her purple eyes, a color he didn’t possess, held flecks of gold and red. When they first met, they had appeared more reddish, but in the sunlight, the gold shimmered, captivating him.

It was Dian who, wanting to touch her, completely forgot about the dinner preparations and pushed her down. But he insisted to himself that it wasn’t out of lust. He hadn’t pushed her down for that reason or so Dian believed.

Dian simply found Clara precious and wanted to keep her close.

Knowing her small hands were rough, he felt sorry for her and strongly believed he had to protect her. He wanted to keep this lovely girl in his arms and wake up with her in the morning.

Yet, for some reason, no masculine desire arose in him.

Still, Dian was a man, and if he stripped a young girl naked, his body would react. For Dian, who was to become king, taking a consort was also part of his duties.

Since meeting Clara and desiring a child with her same eyes, he knew he could perform the act without issue. The thought of creating a bond with Clara through a child made his heart leap.

That night, when Dian, burdened by worries as the crown prince, met Clara—it must have been fate.

Dian was not the king’s son, but the son of the late crown prince.

The elderly King Cartiver had several princes but had designated Rhodias, born from his official queen, as his successor. It was a formal and natural selection.

However, the wife Rhodias married for political reasons was from a foreign land. The princess of a duchy that had since been absorbed and destroyed by the Kingdom of Cartiver.

Perhaps because of the foreign blood, Dian’s eyes did not inherit the royal color of the Cartiver royal family. Since the royal family consisted entirely of people with purple eyes, this had become a lasting inferiority complex for him.

His mother left the castle shortly after his birth, and he had hardly seen her since. His father died of illness when Dian was seven.

Though his grandfather, the king, was his backing and held absolute power, many were dissatisfied with Dian becoming the next king. Even if a son with purple eyes were born from a wife chosen from a distant relative of royal blood, Dian’s feelings about not having the royal color would not be cleared.

But the moment he saw Clara’s eyes, he knew she was the one.

Clara’s eyes weren’t just purple. They were special.

If her eyes were passed down to their child, Dian felt he could proudly stand as the child’s father.

Not only were those eyes said to have been possessed by the founding king, but history showed that whenever a king with the same eyes ruled, the country inevitably prospered.

It was a rare color even within the royal family, but if a child were born with it, the next generation’s prosperity would be assured. For Dian himself, becoming the father of such a child would be an honor.

“And yet she rejected me.”

Muttering to himself, he reached out rudely again, but then withdrew his hand, murmuring, “But she didn’t cry.”

Had it been wrong to push her down on the sofa and press her forcefully? She had looked on the verge of tears, but she never actually cried.

Becoming the crown prince’s mistress wasn’t something even a nobleman’s daughter could easily achieve. He had been sure she would be pleased, so her rejection certainly irritated him. But he hadn’t intended to force her.

Admittedly, it might have come across that way but he truly hadn’t meant to force her.

As proof, he had let her go without doing anything and had her escorted by Flurey. He had wanted to go with her, but guilt over the expression he’d caused kept him from it.

When he pushed her down, Clara resigned herself, closed her eyes, and stopped resisting. She turned pale and trembled slightly. Even when he touched her, she didn’t flinch, as if she had resolved to become a doll.

When she wouldn’t open her eyes even when he called to her, he finally realized she genuinely disliked it.

How could that be? Why would she refuse when the crown prince had gone out of his way to make time for her?

For Dian, who normally had women flocking to him, whom he had to trouble himself to shoo away this was an incomprehensible phenomenon.

Not wanting to see this girl cry, a calmer Dian slipped his arm behind Clara’s back, slowly sat her up, and helped her to a seated position. Still, Clara didn’t open her eyes, quietly holding her breath. She kept her eyes shut, rejecting Dian with all her might.

In that moment, Dian feared being disliked by Clara. He was terrified of never seeing her smile again. All he could do was tell her, “Let’s stop for today.”

Clara finally lifted her eyelids, revealing those mesmerizingly beautiful eyes. But she refused to look at Dian.

A commoner girl seven years his junior. She should have been easy to handle, yet nothing was going right. He thought he understood commoners from his time out in the city, but Clara’s heart remained completely opaque to him.

“She refused, saying she didn’t want to. Could it be that she dislikes me?”

If so, the road ahead would be difficult. Even though he had acted terribly, he was now afraid of being disliked and found himself unable to press her further. Though he hadn’t felt lust, she was still adorable, and he wanted to keep her close—but what should he do?

While thinking he didn’t want to be disliked, he was also bewildered by his own feelings when Flurey returned.

“How was she?”

“She didn’t say a word. It seems I’ve been disliked along with you, Your Highness.”

Flurey gave him a look as if he were looking at a caterpillar.

It appeared Flurey had been ordered by his father, the duke, to keep watch so Dian wouldn’t lay a hand on Clara, but that look wasn’t because Dian wasn’t obeying.

“Is it complicated because she might be your aunt?”

It was Flurey who had looked into Clara’s background. Her father was unknown, but it seemed she might be the secret child of the former Duke Winslet, Ortol.

Even if not of legitimate bloodline, would it be complicated to get involved with a relative?

“Being rejected by those eyes is strangely frustrating, but that’s not it. It’s just that if she really is my aunt, I’d have mixed feelings toward my grandfather for leaving her unnamed and abandoned.”

Ortol had been that annoying old man who served by Dian’s side until he came of age. It was hard to believe that old man had a secret child, but given Clara’s looks, her mother must have been exceptionally beautiful. Perhaps in his old age, he had been smitten by a young girl.

“True enough. It’s surprising that annoying old man would abandon her. If he was going to interfere with my involvement, he should have taken her into the Winslet ducal house and kept her protected.”

In that case, perhaps he had considered that with Isaac around, there might be disputes over succession and inheritance. Isaac was a knight of common birth but seemed to be rising quickly. Maybe Ortol had pulled strings for that, too.

“Regardless of my grandfather, if you intend to keep her, you should calm your heart and act like a gentleman. If you push as you did tonight, you’ll only be disliked.”

“So, she does dislike me?”

“She isn’t a noblewoman with aspirations of becoming a mistress, after all.”

The girls who flirted and rubbed up against Dian despite him having a wife were all like that. He hadn’t treated Clara the same, but it was true he never dreamed she would reject him.

“Unwanted things come on their own, yet…”

“It’s only natural to struggle for the things you truly want.”

He had never experienced such struggles before. Wondering what he should do now, he was lost in thought when suddenly, a commotion erupted outside.