The Person I Love Who Has Been Missing For Three Years - Chapter 49

Chapter 49: In the Darkness, Thoughts Were in Turmoil…

There was no response to the knock on the door. Leaning closer, she heard what sounded like the shower running inside.

Song Xiangwan then carried the flowers out first, went back, and took a shower. This time, she didn’t knock, opening the door and walking straight in.

When Ming Jin emerged from the bathroom, she saw someone lying on her bed. The shorts didn’t cover much skin. Long legs were raised, the lower legs swinging back and forth.

The slippers hanging on her feet were precarious, revealing smooth, pale heels. The silk fabric draped lightly over her waist, clearly showing her scapulae and lower back dimples.

A lazy cat, a usurping cat.

Hearing the sound behind her, she turned her head, smiling: “Ah-Jin…”

“You’ve been squatting here for five days now, which exceeds the time we agreed upon. You no longer have disposal rights over this bed,” Ming Jin said flatly.

Her gaze, however, couldn’t help but fall on Song Xiangwan’s eyes. Her phoenix eyes, even without makeup, were alluring. The tiny, reddish mole at the corner of her eye was particularly striking.

“I just came to see you, to bring you something…” She reached for the red roses on the table, rolled off the bed, held the bouquet, and knelt on one knee in front of Ming Jin.

“Beautiful lady, may I pursue you?” Her eyes and brows were filled with a smile, like twinkling stars.

“If you don’t accept, I won’t get up,” she declared with an unreasonable stance.

“Suit yourself,” Ming Jin walked past her, smelling the rich fragrance of the roses. Her heart stirred slightly.

Her fingers twitched slightly but were quickly suppressed.

She took the book from the table and slowly flipped through the pages, intending to ignore Song Xiangwan.

However, she couldn’t completely control her gaze from sweeping over. Seeing her kneeling there so pitifully, slightly swaying, like an aggrieved cat.

Kneeling for too long would make her legs numb, and she had definitely been rehearsing all afternoon.

Ming Jin’s fingers gripping the page couldn’t help but tighten slightly. Her heart was at war, and she couldn’t absorb the words in front of her.

Song Xiangwan immediately stood up cheerfully, no longer looking precarious, like a nimble cat. She stuffed the flowers into Ming Jin’s arms.

Her hands rested on the armrests of the wheelchair. The two of them looked at each other across the bouquet.

Two buttons on Song Xiangwan’s loungewear were undone. Her hair strands fell along her neck into her collar. Faintly visible was her exquisite, jade-like collarbone.

The scent of flowers, mixed with the faint scent of her shower gel, rushed forward.

“I had a good rehearsal today.”

“I will participate in the show properly, act well, dance well, and successfully complete my career.”

“I’m very obedient. Whatever you say goes,” Song Xiangwan had a silver tongue and was very good at acting obedient.

“Whatever I say goes?” Ming Jin raised her eyelashes, looking at her.

“Mhm mhm mhm,” Song Xiangwan nodded like a chick pecking rice.

“Then you can leave now,” Ming Jin said.

Song Xiangwan: “…” Her expression instantly turned miserable. She muttered softly: “That’s not allowed.”

“It’s still early. I’ll just play here for a little while, just a moment. I’ll leave later.” Her phoenix eyes blinked and blinked, showing weakness and coquetry, looking utterly pathetic.

Before Ming Jin could speak, she dropped her gaze, putting on an aggrieved look: “I fell during rehearsal this afternoon, and my hand still hurts.”

“Where did you fall?” Ming Jin immediately tensed up.

“Here,” Song Xiangwan extended her hand. It was smooth, without even a trace of redness or swelling.

Her skin was delicate, like soft, tender tofu, warm and soft to the touch, with blood vessels flowing beneath, revealing a healthy pale red.

She truly met her nemesis. There was clearly no injury.

“It hurts…” Yet, this nemesis was a good actor. With a lift of her eyelids, her eyes were instantly watery.

Ming Jin couldn’t help but sigh softly, looking up at those watery eyes: “What exactly do you want?”

“I want…” Song Xiangwan tentatively knelt down in front of Ming Jin, looking up into her light brown eyes. “I want you to feel it.”

“My heartbeat.”

As she spoke, she reached out and grabbed Ming Jin’s wrist, placing her slightly cool hand against her chest.

The buttons of her loungewear were loose. The cool palm pressed instantly against her warm chest. The scorching temperature made Ming Jin’s fingertips recoil slightly.

But the pressure on her wrist was firm, pushing her hand down, sinking into a patch of softness, as if grasping a cloud of gentle fluff.

“Do you feel it?” Song Xiangwan asked softly, tightening her grip slightly, “It’s beating, the rhythm of my heart.”

Her upper body leaned towards Ming Jin, kneeling in a submissive posture, looking pitiful, but every word felt like planting a spell in the listener’s heart.

“It beats because of you.”

“Do you feel it?”

“Ah-Jin…”

Her voice was soft, but she moved closer and closer, her nose almost touching Ming Jin’s.

Then, she slowly drew nearer, her lips about to capture those pale lips. The warmth of her breath had already passed over. In this submissive posture, she offered herself up.

But the person in front of her subtly shifted back, gently evading her. The desire in her light brown eyes was suppressed: “You’re pushing your luck.”

“Yes, I am pushing my luck,” the kitten stated righteously, raising her chin. “You spoiled me, so you have to take responsibility.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t give up my sense of self. I will do what I want to do.”

“I love you, and this is also what I want to do. I want to be by your side. If you push me away again, I really will die.”

“Let’s be good to each other, okay?”

“Ah-Jin…” The kitten exposed her softest underbelly.

In this moment, her true feelings poured out.

She was no longer the Song Xiangwan of the past. She knew the value of the person before her. She wanted to hold her in her palm and protect her well.

Ming Jin was no less fond of the cat she had raised, the person she held dearest. She wanted to push her away, but she couldn’t help but be drawn into the whirlpool.

The emotional surge in her eyes flashed, and she closed them gently, her voice sounding distant: “Get up. Don’t kneel.”

Ming Jin used some force on her hand, trying to help her up.

In the past, she was the one kneeling to put on Song Xiangwan’s shoes. How could this revered figure be kneeling before her?

She was being put off again, but Song Xiangwan didn’t press the matter. The memory of Ming Jin’s episode yesterday was still vivid, and she dared not risk anything.

She stood up, but not obediently. Her upper body leaned forward with a graceful curve, her nose just grazing Ming Jin’s jawline.

The dancer’s flexibility was fully displayed. Her slightly raised chin was like a vital spot willingly offered to the hunter.

Her skin, like tofu, was fragrant and soft. The faint scent of flowers. Ming Jin swallowed lightly, and one could see the slight tension in her neck.

When your cat deliberately rubs its head against your palm, soft and warm, you can’t help but want to lean in and inhale.

Ming Jin’s eyes tightened, but she instinctively leaned back, and the wheelchair rolled back half a turn.

The last time Song Xiangwan used this kind of seduction, she succeeded. So, this time, Song Xiangwan hadn’t expected Ming Jin to resist.

As the wheelchair pulled back, the force she was exerting on it shifted forward. Her legs were numb from kneeling, and she lost control, stumbling forward and falling.

If she fell like that, she would definitely land directly in Ming Jin’s lap, on her legs.

In a split second, Song Xiangwan quickly grabbed the nearby cabinet, adjusted her direction, and her elbow hit the cabinet with a thud.

But she didn’t fall completely because an arm tightly wrapped around her waist. A voice filled with anxiety asked: “Why are you so reckless?”

Ming Jin caught her, holding her securely in her embrace.

The slightly cool, damp embrace felt warm in her heart. Her arms rested on Ming Jin’s legs.

Through the clothing, she could feel the softness, but it was too thin. She probably knew it was due to muscle atrophy.

“Are you okay…” Ming Jin’s voice was uneven.

Song Xiangwan immediately snapped out of it. Her fall just now had almost crashed into Ming Jin’s embrace.

She could feel Ming Jin’s arm trembling slightly as she held her, but the grip was very steady and firm, not loosening at all.

“I’m fine, I’m fine…” Song Xiangwan quickly pulled back from the embrace, her eyes full of worry. She reached out to help but didn’t know how. “Are you alright?”

The tension in Ming Jin’s embrace eased, like a tightly held breath suddenly released.

A violent, sharp pain, like being split open, exploded from her lumbar spine. Ming Jin, who was usually so enduring, couldn’t help but tightly bite her lip.

Her hand pressed against her waist, and she suddenly bent forward. The other hand pressed on the armrest of the wheelchair, clenched tightly. The excessively thin back of her hand showed the contours of raised tendons.

“Ah-Jin…” Song Xiangwan moved closer, gently holding Ming Jin’s shoulder to support her. She was terrified.

Why did she do that? What if Song Xiangwan had fallen? Yet she took such a risk to catch her.

“Dr. Lin…” Song Xiangwan wanted to raise her voice to call for help but was stopped by Ming Jin’s faint voice: “Don’t, don’t alarm anyone else.”

“You…” Song Xiangwan’s eyes were filled with uncontrollable worry, but she didn’t dare to outright disobey. She only whispered: “Please let Dr. Lin examine you, okay? I’m scared…”

The kitten’s eyes were red. She blamed herself so much she wanted to slap herself.

“I know what I’m doing…” Although she said that, Ming Jin remained frozen in that position, her eyes slightly closed, her brow faintly furrowed.

After adjusting her breathing several times, suppressing the most agonizing pain, she looked up and said softly: “It’s nothing. Why are you crying?”

She wanted to reach out to wipe Song Xiangwan’s tears, but she was too weak. She let out a slow breath and whispered: “Please help me get to the bed.”

She usually never needed help with this.

Unless… Song Xiangwan didn’t dare to think. She squatted down, reached under Ming Jin’s knees, and lifted her.

Having carried her many times, Song Xiangwan still found her excessively thin.

Ming Jin didn’t struggle, which suggested she might not even have the strength to struggle.

When she gently placed her on the bed, Song Xiangwan deliberately slowed her movements. Feeling the tension in the person in her arms ease, she carefully let go.

Ming Jin’s pale features looked so fragile and easily broken. Song Xiangwan brushed aside the hair at her temples, touching her slightly cold face.

Song Xiangwan spoke in a soothing, childlike tone: “Please let me invite Dr. Lin to check on you, okay?”

“I’ll invite her privately. It won’t alarm anyone else.”

“It won’t alarm Ah-Yan.”

Over time, she had pretty much understood Ming Jin’s concerns.

Any disturbance now would cause anxiety for the entire household, especially Xu Zhiyan, who already had little sleep due to company matters.

“No need,” Ming Jin seemed to concede. “If you’re worried, come up and sleep.”

Song Xiangwan climbed into the bed incredibly quickly, as if afraid she would change her mind. She nestled close, tightly hugging Ming Jin’s arm, like a frightened little animal.

“Does your arm still hurt? You hit it just now,” Ming Jin asked.

Song Xiangwan didn’t look up, just muffled a shake of her head, moving even closer to Ming Jin.

She just wanted to get closer, but unexpectedly caused her injury again. It felt as if letting go was wrong, and holding on was also wrong.

Song Xiangwan was not someone given to anxiety or worry. When she argued outside, she was unrestrained and audacious.

Yet, with Ming Jin, she experienced caution, prudence, and fear all at once.

“It was my fault for not standing steady. It’s a minor issue,” Song Xiangwan muttered softly. “I’m used to injuries from dancing. What’s this?”

“It has nothing to do with you. It’s my problem,” Ming Jin’s voice was soft. Seeing the cat upset, she couldn’t help but want to comfort her.

“Let me see,” Ming Jin wasn’t fooled.

Song Xiangwan extended her hand. The area where her elbow hit the cabinet was slightly red and swollen, but it didn’t look serious and should disappear by tomorrow.

Ming Jin’s palm pressed against the redness, a cool temperature, gently massaging it.

“Next time, you don’t have to worry about me. If I bump myself, I’ll be fine by tomorrow…” Song Xiangwan whispered.

Thinking back to the scene just now, she still felt shocked. What if she had put more force and slammed directly onto Ming Jin’s waist?

Ming Jin didn’t answer her, only said faintly: “It’s good…”

Her soft voice gently drifted through the bedroom air. She slowly said: “This time, I caught you.”

Song Xiangwan’s heart skipped a beat. She looked up, meeting those light brown eyes, which were as gentle as water, filled with deep affection.

Ming Jin’s hand pressed on the crown of her head, giving a slight pat, and whispered: “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dodged.”

“You…” Song Xiangwan seemed to grasp the meaning of her words. She propped herself up on her elbow, leaning in to stare at Ming Jin.

Her voice was tight, with an unconscious nervousness: “Are you saying you agreed?”

“I won’t send you away again,” Ming Jin closed her eyes gently, letting out a slow breath. “But you must not…”

“I’ll be careful and won’t fall again.”

“I’ll work hard and be the dazzling Song Xiangwan.”

“I’ll stay with you properly, and I’ll love you properly too.”

Song Xiangwan’s consecutive words poured out like a flood that had been held back for a long time.

“Take good care of yourself,” this was Ming Jin’s only request.

“Sleep,” Ming Jin interrupted Song Xiangwan’s words and closed her eyes.

In the darkness, she felt the person beside her draw close. An arm wrapped around her waist, hugging her, a palm resting on the site of her waist injury, gently massaging it.

A compliant cat.

She could still protect her with all her might.

Whatever she could protect, she would.

Ming Jin knew she was being slightly absurd. Her inner obsessions seemed to drown her instantly.

But the moment she caught Song Xiangwan just now, it felt like she had grasped her own salvation.

She had seen all of Song Xiangwan’s gestures of affection these past few days, and she understood Song Xiangwan’s heart.

But she had always been obsessively determined not to burden anyone else.

However, the light of salvation seemed to fall instantly, and she realized… she wasn’t entirely a burden.

Feeling the severe pain in her lumbar spine slowly subside under the massage, turning into the constant, dull ache she could usually tolerate, her whole body seemed to warm up.

Song Xiangwan’s touch was very gentle. She only used the heel of her palm to slowly massage the muscles on Ming Jin’s back, one spot at a time.

She avoided the most painful area, lightly kneading the stiff, cold muscles.

Ming Jin grabbed Song Xiangwan’s wrist, pulled her hand away, and whispered: “That’s enough. No need to massage. Sleep.”

Her slightly cool fingertips pressed and rubbed gently on Song Xiangwan’s wrist.

It wasn’t that she didn’t need it anymore; she felt sorry for Song Xiangwan and couldn’t bear her to work so hard.

Song Xiangwan also realized that taking good care of herself was the premise for her not being sent away. She didn’t push her luck further, gently hugged Ming Jin, and nodded.

The person in her arms moved slightly. Then, Song Xiangwan felt a coolness on her forehead—a slightly cool kiss was gently pressed there.

Song Xiangwan couldn’t help but lift her head, chasing those lips, and kissed back.

Ming Jin was trapped beneath her, yet felt no physical oppression. Song Xiangwan’s lips pressed down, and her tongue gently parted Ming Jin’s lips and teeth.

Ming Jin couldn’t resist raising her hand, pressing it on Song Xiangwan’s neck, gently stroking it. Then, she opened her lips, and her tongue entered Song Xiangwan’s mouth.

They twisted and clung together, the heat of their intertwined breaths, and the dim nightlight cast the silhouette of two people in a shallow embrace.

The sound of fluctuating moisture emerged from where their lips and teeth met.

The temperature of Ming Jin’s fingertips was supposed to be cool, but it made Song Xiangwan’s entire neck feel hot.

The scene in her dreams seemed to slowly merge with reality. She couldn’t help but want to melt into this person’s embrace.

The intense kiss made her vision slightly dark, but Ming Jin didn’t stop. She only felt her heart tremble.

The suppressed longing of three years seemed to burst forth in this instant.

Countless people had flattered and liked her, but only with Song Xiangwan did she feel this way—the desire to risk her life just to kiss her.

Ming Jin’s hand trailed down Song Xiangwan’s neck, across her shoulder, landing on the smooth fabric covering her waist. She pressed gently, then her fingers instinctively tightened.

The lingering touch caused both their souls to tremble slightly.

She could no longer remember when their last intimacy was.

The buttons were undone by nimble fingers. Her chest was exposed to the slight coolness, completely unguarded.

Although the nightlight was dim, Song Xiangwan immediately saw the savage scar stretching across Ming Jin’s abdomen.

Against her pale skin, it was so obvious, so shocking, so hideous.

Her fingers couldn’t help but gently press on it, her voice slightly hoarse: “Does it hurt?”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” Ming Jin’s voice was flat. That car accident had nearly shattered her. This particular wound was considered the least life-threatening.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know anything…” Song Xiangwan’s voice was trembling.

She couldn’t imagine how terrible the scene must have been.

What was she doing?

Drinking? Clubbing? Or laughing and joking at a dinner party?

Song Xiangwan couldn’t look anymore. She covered Ming Jin’s clothes, retreated, and lay down beside Ming Jin, whispering: “Good night.”

She suppressed her restless breathing. Even though her mind was racing, she couldn’t do anything now. Ming Jin’s body couldn’t handle it.

Ming Jin was somewhat stunned. The rising temperature instantly subsided.

A conflicted look flashed in her eyes. Ultimately, she didn’t speak, simply closing her eyes gently.

In just two hours, Song Xiangwan’s eyes snapped open. Fine beads of sweat covered her forehead.

Her entire body felt drenched, as if she had just been pulled out of a water tank. She didn’t dare to breathe heavily, only suppressing her emotional turmoil.

Hearing that the person beside her was breathing steadily, Ming Jin seemed to still be asleep. Song Xiangwan relaxed slightly.

Song Xiangwan tiptoed out of bed, went to the kitchen, poured a glass of cold water, and drank it in one go.

The icy cold temperature rushed from her throat to the bottom of her stomach, making her mind slightly clearer.

She lowered her head, splashing cold water onto her face.

The icy touch instantly sobered her up. Water droplets ran down her chin, leaving a damp mark on her collar.

Her hands pressed against the sink counter. She took several deep, heavy breaths, suppressing the chaotic images in her mind.

She had just drifted off to sleep and had a nightmare.

A scene of crimson filled her eyes, a piercing brake screech drowning her senses instantly. She felt weightless, tossed into the air.

Looking around, she saw only a chaotic mist, a striking pool of blood, and the person lying in the blood.

It was more gruesome than any previous nightmare.

Her tendency to have nightmares hadn’t improved, and this time, the sudden surge of terror made the situation incredibly bad.

In the dead of night, the villa was quiet. Apart from the kitchen, which was lit, everywhere else was shrouded in black darkness.

She could hear her own restrained breathing and the irregular thumping of her heart in her chest.

But Song Xiangwan didn’t know that over the past three years, Ming Jin’s sleep had become increasingly light. She had woken up almost at the moment Song Xiangwan got out of bed.

She initially thought she was just going to the restroom, but then she heard the sound of the door opening.

Song Xiangwan left and didn’t return.

Ming Jin’s slightly cool fingertips pressed onto the scar on her abdomen. The wound had healed well, neither hurting nor itching, but it was terrifyingly grotesque.

She had more wounds than just this one on her body. Although it was summer, she always wore long sleeves and pants.

Her fingers tightened, clutching the wound on her abdomen so fiercely that the force almost tore her skin.

She shouldn’t have agreed tonight.

Ultimately, no one would accept the her of now.

Song Xiangwan’s gestures of affection must have been… clouded by the beauty of the past.

She loved the former Ming Jin.

And the current one would only scare people away.

Just as the violence in her heart was about to overwhelm her, she heard the sound of the door opening. She released her grip, closed her eyes, and pretended to still be asleep.

Song Xiangwan quietly climbed into bed and lay down beside her.

Neither of them was asleep. They just lay there with their eyes closed, in the darkness, their thoughts in turmoil.