The Moon Upon My Heart - Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Heartbeat

She just liked her to that extent.

“Don’t leave me, Xiaoyue.”

“I don’t want to become a problem you have to fix.”

Ji Fengyue’s voice was trembling, tinted with obvious grievance. Shen Wangshu’s heart tightened, and she finally reached out to hug her back.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you, I won’t. The problem I want to solve isn’t you—I just… I just can’t accept my own weakness.”

Shen Wangshu’s problem had always been the feelings she could neither control nor let go of, but she couldn’t let Ji Fengyue know.

Even if she’d made up her mind to give up, the moment she faced Ji Fengyue, she would still falter.

Just one casual “like”, and her face would flush and her heart would skip. One aggrieved whisper, and she would want to embrace her. One ambiguous sentence, and she couldn’t restrain the stirring inside her.

She liked Ji Fengyue to this extent. She had no way around it.

Ji Fengyue took a deep breath. “Xiaoyue, can you look up at me?”

Shen Wangshu reflexively lifted her head, meeting Ji Fengyue’s eyes. The room was dark, but her gaze was so bright.

It was hard to tell what emotions were hidden in those eyes—they were too intense. Shen Wangshu instinctively wanted to escape again, but she was held tightly. She couldn’t move.

“Xiaoyue, you’re the most important person to me. The only one. No matter what kind of person you are, I accept you completely.”

“I’m willing to do anything for you. As long as you’re happy, I can wait. I won’t question you or push you. I don’t want to make you sad.”

“But I don’t want to see you force yourself to do something you don’t want to do.”

“You don’t like forcing yourself to interact with your parents, but you still want emotional support. So… could you let me be your emotional support?”

Shen Wangshu widened her eyes. Did this person understand what she was saying? Could someone say something like that to just a friend? Didn’t Ji Fengyue realize how ambiguous her words were?

But Ji Fengyue’s gaze remained firm. She truly didn’t think she was saying anything strange—like it was just normal daily conversation.

Yes, that was indeed how she thought. Ji Fengyue had always been someone whose actions matched her thoughts. She never hesitated, never cared about others’ opinions. She only cared about her own feelings.

And Shen Wangshu knew that Ji Fengyue would not make promises impulsively. She must have weighed the consequences before speaking. Ji Fengyue knew exactly what her words meant.

Trying to become someone’s emotional support—how bold that was. But Shen Wangshu believed she could do it.

Should she agree? Could she really agree?

Under the gaze of someone she secretly admired, Shen Wangshu’s heart beat violently. She wavered. She hesitated.

Such warmth, such sincerity—surely this wasn’t something one would offer only to a friend or family member.

“I… I want to try…”

Her voice was soft, but Ji Fengyue heard it clearly. She was overjoyed, almost ecstatic, and hugged the person in her arms even tighter.

Too excited to know what to say, she could only whisper over and over near her ear, “Xiaoyue, I’m so happy.”

Shen Wangshu buried her head silently against her, listening to the rapid heartbeat that didn’t seem to belong only to herself.

The rhythm was so fast… but maybe it wasn’t only her heartbeat.

Time in darkness passed slowly. After who-knows-how-long, the heartbeat she heard gradually steadied, and Shen Wangshu finally dared to speak.

“Fengyue, let go of me. I won’t run away.”

Ji Fengyue shook her head, leaning against her neck, and muffled, “Does it make you uncomfortable when I hold you?”

“Uh… not really, it’s just kind of strange.”

“Then I don’t want to let go. It feels very comfortable. You’re so small right now—holding you feels perfect.”

Shen Wangshu was speechless. “So you’re treating me like a pillow?”

“Sorry for developing so slowly.”

“Good. Cute. I like it. I hope you grow slower. Best if you never get taller.”

“Hey! What are you thinking!”

Shen Wangshu was helpless. When this person wasn’t happy, she acted like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Fine. Since you haven’t been sleeping well lately, do whatever you want.”

She didn’t ask Ji Fengyue to release her.

Ji Fengyue also fell quiet, relaxing her hold slightly.

Gradually, her breathing grew calmer. Shen Wangshu figured she must have fallen asleep.

When Shen Wangshu tried to move away, Ji Fengyue reflexively tightened her hold. Not wanting to wake her, Shen Wangshu eventually gave up.

Why did she have to hold her? And so tightly—like she was afraid Shen Wangshu would run. Why would she worry? Why say those things earlier? Was it impulse? Or something else?

Shen Wangshu wasn’t sleepy. Her mind was full of thoughts, messy and tangled. But the warmth of the embrace and the steady breathing lulled her, and eventually she fell asleep too—deeply, not noticing she was still held tightly.

Confirming that the person in her arms was truly asleep, Ji Fengyue opened her eyes. Having adjusted to the darkness, she could see clearly under the moonlight. Shen Wangshu slept so soundly, unaware of anything she might do.

Ji Fengyue gazed at her peaceful face. The tension in her own features softened. She pressed her cheek lightly against her—just enough for her lips to brush her skin without leaving a trace.

No matter what, she would not let her leave. Never.

…

“Xiaoyue, good morning!”

The moment she opened her eyes, Shen Wangshu was met with Ji Fengyue’s face at close range. Her cheerful voice frighteningly jolted her awake. Why was she still hugging her?

“Did you sleep well last night?”

Shen Wangshu stiffly nodded. “Pretty well… uh, just a bit startled. I’m not used to being this close to someone.”

“Don’t worry,” Ji Fengyue answered as if it were obvious, “we’ll sleep together from now on. You’ll get used to it.”

“?”

Ji Fengyue gave her a pitiful look. “Xiaoyue, I can only sleep well when you’re with me.”

“Xiaoyue, you’re the best. Can you stay with me more?”

“Xiaoyue? Please?”

“You’re acting spoiled again,” Shen Wangshu sighed. “You’re getting more childish every day.”

“Xiaoyue~” Ji Fengyue drew her name while nudging lightly against her. Since she wasn’t resisting, it meant she didn’t dislike it.

“Alright, alright. Do what you want.”

It was only for a few days anyway. Two more nights wouldn’t matter.

She figured Ji Fengyue was just excited about meeting again and would calm down soon. Surely she wouldn’t still want a human pillow when school started.

“Can you let go now? We should get up.”

“Okay!”

“How did you sleep last night?”

“Of course—if you’re here, I’ll sleep well!”

“Oh.” Shen Wangshu paused. “Do you want a body pillow? It’s probably more comfortable than using a real person.”

Ji Fengyue’s expression twitched. She turned back, sounding aggrieved. “Xiaoyue, you already agreed to sleep with me…”

“But I can’t stay every night. I need to go home.”

Ji Fengyue pressed her lips together and went silent. Seeing her unhappy expression, Shen Wangshu finally realized—she didn’t want to be apart.

Shen Wangshu’s heart softened. She gently held her hand. “It’s okay. Even if I’m not with you for now, I’ll always come back.”

“You said you wanted to be my emotional support, right?”

“I’m someone who really needs emotional connection. If this really works, I’ll become someone who can’t be without you. I’ll think about you no matter where I am. So relax.”

“Then how do we make it work?” Ji Fengyue stared intensely, making Shen Wangshu look away.

“I don’t know. That’s your problem to think about.”

“Okay. I’ll try. I’ll make it work.”

Something in Ji Fengyue’s eyes made Shen Wangshu’s heart flutter uneasily. Even after washing up, she couldn’t calm down.

“Xiaoyue, my cousin said she’s on the way and bringing breakfast. What do you want to eat?”

“You really asked her to bring me clothes? And it’s only seven… is that okay?”

“Don’t worry, they’re not free,” Ji Fengyue explained. “Her shop needs models. My body type fits, so I model for her. That’s why the wardrobe is full.”

“Since she heard my friend is here, she wants to hire you too… uh, is that okay?”

Shen Wangshu understood. “I don’t mind.”

“But can I be a model too?”

“Of course. You’re cute—lots of people would like it. But don’t worry, your face won’t show. Otherwise I wouldn’t allow it.” She didn’t want to share.

“Oh, that makes sense. You’re not the type who likes being seen by everyone. But that’s a shame—I wanted to see your photos. I bet they look nice.”

“I have them. I can show you. But in exchange, give me your original photos.”

“No problem. Let me see.”

Ji Fengyue happily went to get her laptop. Shen Wangshu sat on the sofa, wondering—why did she want the original files? She didn’t plan to delete them anyway.

After being reborn, Shen Wangshu noticed her friend had changed a lot. The more time they spent together, the more confusing things became—and none of them felt easy to ask about.

Maybe the change was in herself? She couldn’t tell.

Ji Fengyue returned with the laptop and saw her spacing out.

“What are you thinking about? Breakfast?”

“Uh… let your cousin choose. I’m not picky.”

“Alright.” She handed over the laptop. “All the photos are in this folder. I’ll message her.”

As Shen Wangshu flipped through the photos, Ji Fengyue typed fast:

【Cousin, bring any breakfast. Whatever’s convenient.】
【And don’t act weird around her. If you expose what I’m thinking, you’re done. Try to get us matching outfits and some close poses. Keep the price low or she’ll refuse. And give me all the raw photos first—I’ll choose what to show her.】
【Okay, okay.】

After about half a minute, her cousin replied. Ji Fengyue sent another message:

【No rush. Take your time.】

Then she deleted the earlier message, the one that absolutely couldn’t be seen, and placed her phone down. She subtly wrapped an arm around Shen Wangshu’s waist.

“Xiaoyue, what do you think? Do they look good?”

“You and your cousin have great taste. These outfits really suit you.”

“Just the clothes?”

Obviously fishing for compliments.

“You look good. Tall, long legs. Clothes look great on you. And your face is nice too. I like it.”

“Mm. Thank you, Xiaoyue.”

Satisfied, Ji Fengyue pulled her close again, resting her face near her neck with a faint blush.

Shen Wangshu felt awkward, but after being hugged so much yesterday, she was starting to get used to it.

“No hugging in front of your cousin. And no acting clingy at school.”

“Okay~ Then can we hold hands? No one cares about that.”

Why? Why did she always want to hug or hold hands? Shen Wangshu had no idea.

“Do whatever you want. I don’t mind.”

Actually, she liked it too.

She relaxed, leaning against her. The laptop sat forgotten to the side.

“Not looking at the photos?”

“You’re right here. Why would I look at the photos?”

Ji Fengyue paused, then burst into soft laughter.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Xiaoyue, you’re so cute.”

“?” Shen Wangshu sat up and pinched her cheeks. “Fengyue, you’ve been acting weird. You keep calling me cute. Is it because I look younger now?”

“Pfft. No. I always thought you were cute. Just… before, it didn’t fit your image, so I couldn’t say it.”

“That would’ve been weird.”

“But that’s exactly why it’s cute! I really like it!”

Her smile was too bright. Shen Wangshu flushed.

Just as Ji Fengyue reached out to touch her face, the bedroom door opened.

“Breakfast time! Come pick what you want!”

Lin Xuxi entered with luggage and plastic bags, then froze at the sight of her cousin with a blushing short-haired girl sitting on her lap.

Ji Fengyue’s expression clearly said, You ruined everything.

Lin Xuxi almost buckled. You moved this fast?!

But she quickly recovered—she ran an online shop after all.

“Come on, I bought a bunch. Pick whatever you like!”

The two immediately separated. Ji Fengyue adjusted her glasses, smiling thinly. “Not late. You came quickly.”

Lin Xuxi sensed danger in her tone but pretended not to notice, greeting Shen Wangshu cheerfully.

“You must be the Xiao Shen she mentioned. I’m Lin Xuxi. Call me the same way she does.”

Shen Wangshu politely greeted her. “Thanks for bringing everything.”

“It’s nothing! And please help us model. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you properly.”

Seeing her hesitate, Lin Xuxi added quickly:

“I’m an adult—I won’t underpay kids. If you don’t take it, I’ll feel guilty.”

“Then thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“Great! Eat up first. I’ll prepare the studio room.”

After she left, Ji Fengyue explained the setup. Shen Wangshu asked questions, and Ji Fengyue told her about her cousin’s past and how she’d helped her after being reborn.

They talked while eating, and Shen Wangshu realized—

Ji Fengyue had purposely arranged payment for her.

“You want to give me money that badly?”

“Money makes you more secure. I don’t want your parents controlling you. If you ever want to leave home, you can.”

Shen Wangshu laughed. “I won’t run away.”

“Whether you want to or not having the ability matters.”

Her determination made Shen Wangshu sigh. “Fine. I’ll save it as emergency funds.”

“But Fengyue, we’re the same age. I’ll grow soon, I’ll catch up. Don’t treat me like a little sister. That’s not the kind of relationship we have.”

Ji Fengyue held back a retort, annoyed but silent.

“Alright, don’t be mad. Let’s eat.”

She still looked sulky, so Shen Wangshu thought of how to cheer her up.

After breakfast, Ji Fengyue went to help her cousin set up props. The moment she entered, her expression turned stormy.

Her cousin teased her a bit, then gave advice based on her “novel-reader experience,” warning her not to rush or make things too obvious, and to let classmates subtly point things out since teenagers could notice things the person involved couldn’t.

Ji Fengyue admitted that some classmates already suspected, and that gave her ideas.

Lin Xuxi panicked internally—Why are you doing things that make classmates ship you two?! She’s just fifteen! You’re reborn—don’t turn into a villain!

But Ji Fengyue was serious. Too serious.

Her cousin asked, “If she finds out and gets scared—what then? What if she won’t even be friends with you?”

Ji Fengyue’s expression darkened instantly. “I won’t let her leave. Never.”

Her cousin nearly fainted.

When she finally soothed her, Ji Fengyue ordered:

“When we take pictures, make us wear matching outfits. Use the ‘girlfriend-style’ poses. Don’t let her suspect anything.”

Her cousin nodded weakly.

Then the photoshoot began.

Shen Wangshu found modeling exhausting—especially duo shots where Ji Fengyue would hold her, sit with her, lean close, or stare at her in the camera for long stretches.

It was awkward. And tiring.