The Merman I Picked Up Is Too Delicious - Chapter 45

“You should rest for a while.” The little merman guided Luo Qingyan to sit on the sofa. “I’ll get you a glass of water. There’s no rush for dinner.”

Luo Qingyan didn’t respond, seemingly still lost in the shock of witnessing the cat giving birth.

The little merman poured a glass of warm water and handed it to her. Luo Qingyan took it mechanically, drank a few sips, and then fell still, her eyes vacant and dazed.

After sitting with her for a while, the little merman felt they couldn’t continue like this and spoke again, “Are you hungry? Should we have dinner now?”

Luo Qingyan’s eyes flickered slightly, as if suddenly snapping back to reality. She looked at the little merman and said, “Okay.”

Then, the little merman led her to the dining table.

The food on the table looked, smelled, and tasted delicious, but Luo Qingyan, chopsticks in hand, had no appetite. In fact, a faint urge to vomit resurfaced, causing her to frown involuntarily.

“Don’t feel like eating these dishes? How about I make you some congee?” the little merman asked softly, already starting to rise.

“No need!” Luo Qingyan replied, picking up some food with her chopsticks as she looked at him. “I can eat! I just don’t have much of an appetite.”

The little merman didn’t stand up but still looked concerned. “Then try to eat a little. Don’t force yourself, just eat as much as you can. Even a few bites are fine. The important thing is not to go hungry.”

“Okay.” Luo Qingyan had already taken a bite. She picked up some vegetables, chewed them a few times, and swallowed. The next few bites were the same, she didn’t find the food enjoyable, as if she were forcing herself to complete a task.

She knew it wasn’t good to skip dinner and that the little merman would worry about her. So, no matter how uncomfortable or nauseous she felt, she had to endure and eat a few bites. But that was all she could manage, any more, and she really would vomit.

“I can’t eat anymore,” she said, putting down her chopsticks, looking utterly listless.

“Okay,” the little merman said gently. “You’ve already eaten quite a few bites. That’s really good.”

Luo Qingyan let out a soft laugh at his earnest praise. “You sound like you’re encouraging a child.”

“You did really well. Adults need encouragement just as much as children,” the little merman said, putting down his chopsticks and shifting his gaze. “I know you’re upset about the cat giving birth. Do you want to talk to me about it?”

Luo Qingyan’s expression darkened, and she felt like crying. “Yes, I feel terrible, it’s hard to describe. The image of the kittens coming out of the mother cat’s body keeps replaying in my mind, and I can’t shake it off. And that scene, it’s just, very unsettling to me…”

“Is it because witnessing the birth of life made you realize how difficult it is?” the little merman tried to guide her. “Or was it the bloody nature of the process that shocked you?”

“Both,” Luo Qingyan took a deep breath. “I… I was thinking, humans place so much importance on dignity. Most people spend their entire lives striving for so-called dignity and saving face. But once they’re in a hospital forget about death, even some medical examinations can strip away all sense of dignity.”

Luo Qingyan’s voice choked slightly as she spoke, “But to live, one must go through all that. It seems… it seems the hospital can break a person apart and reassemble them, shatter them completely, depending on how you choose. Sometimes I wonder, what is the purpose of living? It’s so painful, so exhausting, it would have been better not to have been born at all.”

“Because of the laws of nature, because life itself is a miracle,” the little merman adjusted his seat to face Luo Qingyan and took her hand. “Just like the sea turtle and the squid I told you about earlier, their lives might seem pitiful and unnecessary in the eyes of some humans. But that’s how nature is; everything continues out of instinct. Perhaps one day there will be another mass extinction, but new life will always emerge.”

“I understand. You said that compared to other creatures, humans possess complex minds, capable of deep thought, and because of that, they have to endure more. Right now, I… I…” Luo Qingyan furrowed her brows and sighed. “I feel that thinking too much is painful, and there seems to be no solution. It would be better not to think at all.”

“Having the ability to think is such a wonderful thing! The benefits of thinking far outweigh the drawbacks for humans.” The little merman spoke slowly and patiently. “You’re just unwell, so you’ve entered a dead end where everything around you seem negative. Naturally, it’s hard to have positive thoughts.”

“Mermaids think too, so why don’t you feel as miserable as I do? You even have a sense of detachment. How can I achieve that? Do I have to become a mermaid?”

“That sense of detachment is only relative to humans. In reality, when facing certain situations in the sea, mermaids can also experience intense emotions. Our ways of life are different, our pursuits are different, so naturally, our thoughts differ. Moreover, after mermaids come ashore, they gradually become more like humans. Some mermaids even choose not to return to the sea after coming ashore.”

Luo Qingyan’s attention was captured, and her distress eased slightly. “Do they live on land for a thousand years?”

“No, the time mermaids spend on land is limited, usually one human lifetime. Once their human identity dies, they must return to the sea and revert to being mermaids. There was once a mermaid who tried to extend their human lifespan, wanting to continue living on land as a human.”

“Did they succeed?”

“In a way, yes. They extended their life for a while, but ultimately, they died completely as a human.”

“Then, is that considered a miracle?”

“Not really a miracle, just a choice.”

“Don’t mermaids think that mermaid should be punished? After all, they didn’t follow the normal process of returning to the sea but forcibly stayed on land, trying to extend their human lifespan.”

“No. As long as they don’t do anything to harm the mermaid tribe, it’s merely a personal choice. Mermaids are free to choose the life they want.”

“Really?” Luo Qingyan’s eyes trembled slightly. “Mermaids are truly open-minded.”

“You need to rest.” The little merman sensed that mere conversation couldn’t ease her inner turmoil. “Would you like to lie down on the bed for a while?”

Luo Qingyan felt utterly disarrayed inside and out. Perhaps sleep was the best option. She nodded, “Okay.”

Afterward, Luo Qingyan went back to her room to sleep. The little merman poured her a cup of hot water in a thermos, so she could drink it whenever she wanted without being disturbed.

Afterward, the little merman returned to the restaurant for dinner, then washed the dishes and cleaned up.

He understood that human emotions were complex and ever-changing. He could sense these emotions, yet unfortunately, he had no control over them. There was very little he could do; most of the time, humans had to take the initiative to find ways to change themselves.

In the past, he not only understood these principles but also accepted them naturally, facing them with calm detachment. Everything in the world had its own path to follow, and even if that path led to death, it was a normal part of existence.

But now, it seemed he too could be affected by Luo Qingyan. When she was distressed, his own heart would ripple with unease, and he would feel her pain.

It was hard to remain calm.

…

Later in the evening, the little merman returned to his room and browsed the internet on his phone, studying ways to help alleviate human negative emotions.

Just as he was reading an article about psychoanalytic methods, he heard Luo Qingyan getting up to drink water in the other bedroom. There was a rustling of movement, and it seemed she wasn’t feeling as distressed anymore.

He rushed out of his room at top speed and burst into Luo Qingyan’s room. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

The worried tone hung in the air, and a look of panic and confusion flashed across Luo Qingyan’s dazed face. She had been holding her right hand with her left, but in her fluster, she tried to close the nearby drawer, only to hesitate, realizing it would seem too obvious.

She stopped all movement and let out a sigh.

The scene before him left the little merman utterly shocked, from the inside out. Luo Qingyan sat weakly by the desk, which was cluttered with medications, opened paper boxes, torn foil sheets, and bottles of various sizes. The open drawer was also filled to the brim with medicine.

Just the sight of all those medications was distressing, let alone having to take them daily, continuously, no matter how unbearable it felt. Facing those medicines not only reminded her that she was a patient, nearing death, but also evoked a sense of helplessness, as if her connection to life and this world depended solely on those pills.

The person taking the medication had grown numb.

Even though facing the drugs had become a numb kind of suffering, Luo Qingyan still didn’t want others to see her taking them. This was her most vulnerable and desperate moment, and she believed she should bear it alone, without causing others distress.

When she lived at her grandmother’s house, she was terrified of being discovered. Even though her grandmother respected her privacy and never entered her room uninvited or rummaged through her things, she was always afraid, afraid that something unexpected might happen.

She had to take many pills every day, and it wasn’t something that could be done in a few seconds. The process was painful and filled with anxiety.

Moving to Hefeng Pavilion might have been slightly better, especially since the little merman already knew about her illness. She thought she could face it more openly.

But at this very moment, caught in the act of taking her medication, she realized she was still panicked and desperate to hide this pitiful, hopeless reality.

The little merman stood frozen, his face unusually expressive with emotion. He felt an incredibly complex turmoil inside, something he couldn’t comprehend or untangle, as if he had been struck by a violent storm.

It took him a while to regain his composure, but his heart remained unsettled. His body screamed with urgency, and he felt enveloped by impulse. Gritting his teeth, he stepped forward and grabbed Luo Qingyan’s hand. “Let’s go to the sea right now and form the contract, okay?”

Luo Qingyan was startled by the little merman’s sudden action, then her eyes filled with sorrow as she withdrew her hand slightly. “Please, don’t do this.”

“I’m serious.”

“Are you frightened by these medicines and how I look when taking them?” Luo Qingyan turned her face away. “Actually, taking medicine is normal. I just have a more severe condition, so I need more medication.”

“Yes, seeing you take medicine for the first time did have a profound impact on me. That’s why I think we, can’t wait any longer. The longer we wait, the more you’ll suffer. I don’t want you to suffer.” The little merman’s gaze darkened. “Your pain is my pain.”

Luo Qingyan’s expression grew complicated. “Hearing you say that hurts my heart. The reason I’ve been trying so hard to hide is precisely because I don’t want those around me to feel distressed seeing me sick and taking medicine. But, I’m also comforted that your emotions are affected by me. I…” Her voice choked up slightly.

The little merman reached out to caress Luo Qingyan’s cheek. “Let’s go to the sea, to form the bond, alright?”

Luo Qingyan’s brow furrowed slightly. “Doesn’t forming the bond require what merpeople consider true love?”

The merman paused before responding, “It does.”

“Then how can you be sure we can form the bond?”

“I love you. Do you love me?”

Luo Qingyan was taken aback for a moment before her eyes grew somber. “Are you truly certain you love me? And not just comforting me out of pity? I don’t need comfort.”

“I’m certain.”

“Is it what merpeople call true love?”

“Yes.”

Despite the merman’s firm response, Luo Qingyan remained uncertain. She lowered her head. “True love, how could it come so easily. We… Thank you for…”

The little merman knelt down, taking both of Luo Qingyan’s hands in his, speaking gently and sincerely. “I’m not lying to you, and I would never lie to you. Do you remember those strange dreams you’ve had? Those were actually my… you could say they were my spiritual realm. Merpeople only allow others into their spiritual realm when they’ve truly fallen in love. You can explore my world and understand me more deeply.”

“Spiritual realm?” Luo Qingyan lifted her astonished eyes to look at the merman.

“You could call it a spiritual realm, but it contains more than that. It’s completely my world, private and important.” The merman explained earnestly. “I didn’t tell you earlier because you’re not a mermaid. I had no way of knowing if you truly had feelings for me. I was afraid to say anything worried it might be one-sided. In any case, you don’t need to worry about my feelings for you. So, what about your feelings for me?”Hearing his explanation, Luo Qingyan was suddenly moved, but her emotional response was followed by confusion.” “I don’t know… I don’t know what true love is, or how to recognize it. I… I’m sorry, I really don’t know. I… I’m scared, terrified that we won’t be able to form the bond. Then… then everything would… would be…”

Luo Qingyan choked on her words, a single tear escaping her eye and tracing down her cheek.

“Don’t be afraid. I’m here.” The little merman leaned forward, kissing away the tear at the corner of her mouth before drawing her into his embrace. “Then let’s first go to the seaside together. If possible, experience the world where I live. Just treat it as a journey, alright?”

Luo Qingyan was slightly taken aback for a moment before melting into the other’s warm embrace. “Mm.”