The Merman I Picked Up Is Too Delicious - Chapter 43

Xu Gaodi only stayed at Luo Qingyan’s home for two days.

The two of them ate together, binge-watched dramas, took walks, and slept side by side as they always did. Though the time was brief, it felt like they had recaptured the carefree days of their school years.

Unfortunately, they were now adults, forced to face the harsh realities of life.

On the final night of the National Day holiday, Xu Gaodi left.

Work awaited them the next day.

Luo Qingyan and Xiao Nanyu accompanied Xu Gaodi to the airport to see her off. After watching her pass-through security, they didn’t leave immediately but lingered for a while amidst the crowd.

Airports are places brimming with emotions, joy and sorrow, reunions and farewells. Some travelers rush by, others are filled with anticipation, and some cling to each other, reluctant to part. Just observing it all could stir a multitude of feelings.

Luo Qingyan found herself particularly sensitive to these emotions lately. She thought it might be because of her terminal illness, which made her cherish the world even more. Things she used to overlook were gradually gaining significance.

Xiao Nanyu, as always, remained a quiet presence, speaking or acting only when necessary.

They didn’t stay long. Their striking appearances drew attention, and feeling the weight of others’ gazes, Luo Qingyan took Xiao Nanyu’s hand and led him away.

…

On the way home, Luo Qingyan remained silent, either gazing out at the night scenery or closing her eyes to rest. It wasn’t until they arrived home that she spoke to Xiao Nanyu, but her words were brief and necessary, with little real conversation.

Xiao Nanyu knew why Xu Gaodi had come to visit Luo Qingyan. He understood that she needed time, so he quietly followed her lead.

Exhausted, they washed up early and retreated to their respective bedrooms to rest.

Though tired, Luo Qingyan wasn’t sleepy at all. She needed to wait until Xu Gaodi arrived home safely before she could rest peacefully.

Xu Gaodi didn’t get home until the early hours of the following day. She sent Luo Qingyan a photo via WeChat to confirm her arrival. Luo Qingyan replied quickly, and after exchanging a few messages urging each other to rest, they realized neither of them felt like sleeping. So, they decided to video call instead.

“Why aren’t you sleepy either? Did waiting for me chase away your drowsiness?” Xu Gaodi propped her phone on a cabinet as she prepared a glass of milk.

“Maybe it’s separation anxiety! I’m just not used to you being gone,” Luo Qingyan said, sitting on her bed with her legs curled under a thin blanket, her phone resting on her knees.

Xu Gaodi raised an eyebrow at the screen. “Well, what can I say? My charm is just that irresistible. But, you have a boyfriend now. Shouldn’t that make it less sad?”

Luo Qingyan snorted. “What? Do you think I’d abandon my friends for a guy?”

Xu Gaodi waved her hands defensively. “No, no, I didn’t say that! As your friend, I’m actually very satisfied with the boyfriend you chose. He’s handsome, has a great personality, and he suits you perfectly.”

Luo Qingyan smirked. “Of course. You should trust my taste.”

Xu Gaodi sighed. “To be honest, I used to worry about you finding a boyfriend. A beauty like you never lacks suitors, but the quality varies so much. With bad luck, you might even run into a creep. Sure, there were some who seemed outstanding, but who knows if they were just after your looks or wanted to show off by having a girlfriend like you? Sincerity isn’t guaranteed. If all you cared about was material things, it might be easier, but I know you want love, too.”

Luo Qingyan: “No wonder you always gave those scrutinizing looks whenever someone pursued me before. Luckily, I had you to analyze things for me and help ward off quite a few unwanted admirers.”

Xu Gaodi: “That’s what good friends are for, to look out for each other! See, the boyfriend you have now is really great. Don’t worry, even though I’m a bit sad, I’ve carefully observed him too.”

Luo Qingyan: “Oh? What aspects did you observe?”

Xu Gaodi: “There’s so much to talk about, but I’ll mention the main thing. The way he looks at you is pure and full of love—his eyes are completely fixed on you, and only you. Oh, and he’s handsome! Since he’s good-looking himself, he wouldn’t just be after your beauty. There must be plenty of attractive girls chasing him, so he must have been drawn to your inner qualities and the spiritual connection you share, that’s why you’re together.”

Luo Qingyan: “You’re speaking so highly of him, aren’t you afraid I’ll become completely love-struck?”

Xu Gaodi: “I am afraid, but I don’t think it’ll happen. Because, I can’t quite explain why, but I just feel you two are especially well-matched. Being together seems so natural and comfortable, like a steady, long-lasting flow. Oh! But I’m sure you’ve also had some intense, passionate moments, the kind that make you feel like you’re living and dying for love!”

Luo Qingyan chuckled softly: “Living and dying for love.”

It was getting late, and they eventually had to sleep. The two didn’t talk for too long, ending the call after about half an hour.

The conversation was pleasant. After putting down her phone, Luo Qingyan prepared to get a good night’s sleep.

However, she couldn’t fall asleep. Tossing and turning, she just couldn’t drift off, and she even started to feel a headache coming on.

Sitting up in the darkness, she remained still for a while before finally getting out of bed and walking to the window. She pulled the blackout curtains open slightly and gazed out at the night scenery.

Xu Gaodi’s situation had affected her deeply.

It wasn’t just the guilt of not being able to be by her friend’s side, there was also a complex sense of melancholy.

She had considered using this opportunity to tell her friend about her illness. After all, Xu Gaodi had mentioned that saying a proper goodbye to her grandmother before she passed had left no regrets. If Luo Qingyan were to die suddenly, or if there wasn’t enough time for farewells, would her friend be left with regrets? Would she herself have regrets?

Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She didn’t know how to broach the subject, and every time the words were on the tip of her tongue, they felt wrong.

She also thought that if she could really form a contract with the little merman and continue living, then why make everyone sad? Besides, it would be hard to explain everything afterward.

But when she seriously considered that hope, it felt distant and unbelievable. Yet, when facing her family, she would cling tightly to that sliver of hope, believing it could shield her from all the sorrow.

It was utterly contradictory.

In the end, she didn’t reveal anything.

Xu Gaodi was already grieving; if she were to add such sad news on top of that, it would only make things worse, it would be too cruel.

When she was first diagnosed, she hadn’t told anyone because she didn’t want the remaining days to be filled with tears. She wanted to live as happily as possible and create more beautiful memories.

She decided to wait until she had to go to the hospital before telling everyone. There would be time for sadness then. What was meant to come would come, there was no pause button, and life simply went on day by day.

Though it was a form of avoidance, it was also a kind of acceptance.

What if she really managed to grasp that unbelievable hope?

Then there would be nothing left to worry about.

Luo Qingyan’s mind was racing with countless thoughts, making sleep impossible. She stood until her legs grew tired, then sat down, and when sitting became unbearable, she leaned against the wall to rest her eyes.

After what felt like an eternity, she glanced at the time, 3 a.m., yet sleep remained elusive.

It had to be the little merman. There was no way around it; his hearing was too sharp, and no matter how quietly she moved, she couldn’t evade his notice. She sighed softly and said, “Come in.”

The door opened, and the little merman stepped inside. The room was dimly lit, but it made no difference to him. He walked directly to the figure by the window, paused, and spoke gently, “Would you like me to stay with you for a while?”

“Alright,” Luo Qingyan nodded. “You can sit on the edge of the bed.”

“I’ll sit beside you,” the little merman replied, settling on the floor and looking up at her in the chair. “If you feel weighed down, you can talk to me. It might help ease your mind.”

“I’m terrified,” Luo Qingyan confessed without hesitation, knowing that even a moment’s hesitation might make her hold back. “You’re the only one I’ve talked about my illness. But it’s the truth, and I can’t keep it hidden forever. Sooner or later, I’ll have to tell my family. I… I just don’t know how. They’ll be heartbroken, and I’m afraid, I can’t face it.”

The little merman reached out and placed his hand over hers. “I believe we can form a contract, so you don’t need to worry about those things.”

“You don’t have to comfort me like this…”

“I mean it. Do you doubt the idea of forming a contract, or do you doubt me?”

Luo Qingyan froze.

She had always regarded the possibility of forming a contract with the little merman as her greatest hope. It was the very reason she could live so calmly now. Yet, when he spoke of it so earnestly, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all an illusion, a lack of confidence in herself.

Even though they were in a relationship and their days together were comfortable, were they truly close to what one might call true love? And her time was running out. At this moment, she could still stand before him normally, but the next moment, she might be confined to a sickbed. Their relationship had only just begun, who would want to be with someone lying in a hospital bed? Besides, by then, she might not even have the energy for love.

The road ahead was long, yet she could collapse at any moment.

She felt lost, unsure of what true love even meant.

“I don’t believe in myself,” she finally said, her voice filled with despair. “I… I feel so miserable, so helpless, so worried, so… utterly confused, and I don’t know what to do. It’s as if I’m a lone blade of grass in a vast ocean, about to be swallowed at any moment.”

“The ocean has me in it. You won’t be swallowed, I am a merman, after all.” The little merman tightened his grip on her hand and added, “I understand what you mean, and I’m telling you sincerely: with me here, you have nothing to fear.”

Luo Qingyan remained silent, her gaze dropping to their intertwined hands.

“At the moment, I can’t fully understand human thoughts, so my words might not be enough to properly comfort you. But I will always stay by your side. You can share any thoughts with me, and I’ll do whatever you ask, as long as it brings you peace.” The little merman gazed into Luo Qingyan’s eyes. “I like you. As long as you like me too, we can definitely form a contract. I’m really looking forward to it.”

Luo Qingyan also looked into the little merman’s eyes, which held a faint glow even in the darkness. After a moment of contemplation, she spoke slowly, “Liking each other isn’t enough. What worries me is, you can’t understand human thoughts, just as I can’t understand the true love of a merman. Perhaps time could help us slowly understand each other, but, I don’t have that much time left. The more anxious I become, the more I feel our relationship, isn’t sure enough, and that makes me even more worried.”

The little merman’s brow furrowed slightly. He stood up and wrapped his arms around Luo Qingyan, pulling her into an embrace. “I’m sorry. I haven’t given you enough sense of security. If our feelings were purer, without all the added complications, perhaps you could feel more at ease.”

Luo Qingyan rested her head against the little merman’s chest, pressing herself closer to him. “No, it’s not your fault. It’s my own heart that’s crumbling, which is why…You’re wonderful, but precisely because you’re so wonderful… My friends and family hope I’ll find a good destination, and everyone who’s met you is satisfied. I… actually feel pressured. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint them, I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you, and I’m afraid I’ll disappoint myself.”

“You’re wonderful, which is why the people around you want you to have an even better life. Besides, none of this should be blamed on you. You’re sick, you’re a patient, forced into this situation. Those around you should take care of and understand you, how could there be any reason to blame a patient?” The little merman’s voice was soft and warm, as if it could envelop and protect someone.

“Mhm… I’ll try to resolve the turmoil inside! I can! In any case, things will get better. They will definitely get better.”

“If you want to cry, then cry. Cry as much as you need, vent all the bitterness in your heart. At least let yourself feel a little more at ease in this moment.”

In the dim light, Luo Qingyan’s eyes flickered. “Let’s try a different way.”

With that, she stood up, placed her hands on the little merman’s shoulders, tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and kissed him.