The Love-Hate and Grudges Between Me and the Mermaid - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

“Why are you two youngsters blowing up the kitchen every single day?”

Following a series of crackling and popping sounds, the repair lady walked out of the kitchen with her toolbox, a face full of bewilderment. “This explosion was small, so it’s alright. If it were even a little bit bigger, you wouldn’t even have a chance to stay alive.”

But Yan finished the payment and saw her at the door, saying softly: “We will be careful in the future.”

The repair lady, still uneasy, nagged a few more times. “You don’t need the fire to be that big for cooking; medium heat is usually enough…”

“Next time the oil pan catches fire, remember to turn off the gas valve first, then cover it with a pot lid or a wet cloth… in short, do not use water.”

But Yan nodded. “Okay.”

The lady paused, lowered her voice, and asked sneakily: “Daughter, you don’t have a Heteromorphic God enshrined in your home, do you?”

Without waiting for Bu Yan’s answer, she immediately pulled a black bag from her inner pocket and said excitedly: “I knew it! Some of you young people still don’t believe in Him. But for your own safety, you should buy one for your home. It can ward off evil!”

“I have a colleague whose wife was always sick; they bought a Heteromorphic God to keep at home and she got better! I also have a younger sister whose wife was always in a wheelchair; she worshipped the Heteromorphic God once and was completely cured—now she does square dancing every day…”

Afterward, the lady cited countless examples to express her viewpoint, speaking rapidly without stumbling.

Bu Yan opened her mouth several times but failed to interrupt successfully. She could only respond with an awkward smile. Then, the lady pulled several wooden carvings of various sizes from the bag.

“Look at mine,” she explained enthusiastically. “Not 9,999, not even 999. The large one is 999 and the small one is only 299 to take home. They are all purely hand-carved, full of sincerity. The Heteromorphic God will surely bless you!”

Bu Yan’s mouth twitched. “No need…”

She was about to take the opportunity to say some polite words and send the woman out when she heard a thin, weak voice behind her.

“Sister, shouldn’t we have one?”

Turning around, she met Yi An’s tear-filled eyes. Her pupils were wavering, shimmering with an excited light. “I want one.”

“Today,” as if afraid of being refused, the owner of those eyes spoke even more cautiously, suppressing a sob, “I was really scared that something would happen to you…”

After speaking, her sleeve swayed slightly.

Bu Yan’s gaze was involuntarily drawn toward it. In her sight was a hand so white it looked malnourished thin, tinged with blue, fragile to the extreme, as if it would break with a gentle squeeze.

This hand was deathly tight, clutching Bu Yan’s sleeve, trembling slightly.

“Fine.” Bu Yan took Yi An’s hand and said to the repair lady, “We’ll take one.”

The lady’s smile spread wide. She immediately handed over a payment QR code. “The larger the statue, the more useful it is. I recommend the 999 one.”

Bu Yan paid 599 for the medium-sized one.

Don’t even think about scamming me out of more money.

“Alright, alright,” the lady collected the money and left with a beaming face. “If it works well, please leave a positive review on the app, dear.”

Bu Yan: “…”

She suddenly regretted the purchase 600 yuan wasted for nothing.

But turning around, seeing Yi An piously enshrining the wooden carving next to the TV like she had obtained a peerless treasure, her smile gradually brightening, Bu Yan felt it wasn’t a wasted purchase. Just consider it spending money to make her wife happy.

But the next second, she saw Yi An kneeling on the floor with her hands clasped, muttering under her breath, bowing and kowtowing…

Bu Yan: “…” “Yi An, don’t be superstitious.”

Yi An ignored her. Her kowtowing time grew longer, and her muttering louder.

But Yan walked closer and heard that phrase again: “The Heteromorphic God grants me eternal life.” This sentence was something she had heard countless times from different people in different places.

If her guess was correct, the Heteromorphic God was the only god worshipped by the people in this world.

OK, her wife had been influenced by this world.

Without a second thought, Bu Yan picked up the wooden carving and threw it into the trash can.

“Sister…” Her faith suddenly snatched away and discarded, Yi An looked up at Bu Yan in disbelief. “Why did you throw Him away?”

“One must not be superstitious.”

“I’m not! He is our God! I am asking Him to bless us! And I heard His words! He said that as long as our world remains messy and dirty and maintains its original ecological nature, we can obtain eternal life!”

“That is unbelievable.” Bu Yan was a firm materialist. She firmly believed there were no such things as ghosts, gods, or demons in the world; the only person who can protect you is yourself.

Filth and mess were most likely to breed bacteria and viruses. It was a miracle for a person to survive in such conditions how could there be eternal life?

“Who did you hear that from?” Bu Yan squatted down to be level with Yi An, looking into her eyes. “This is fake. You can only live by practicing hygiene.”

“Then…”

Yi An’s expression was complex. She must have taken the words to heart; she stopped halfway as if thinking.

Bu Yan looked at the wooden carving in the trash, a cloud of mystery drifting in her heart.

What kind of magic did the Heteromorphic God possess?

Yesterday, Yi An’s thoughts and values were normal. Today, she seemed like a different person.

Bu Yan inconspicuously hid the wooden carving on her person, planning to research it properly when she had time.

Over there, Yi An was still sitting dazed on the spot, motionless. Over here, Bu Yan sat back at the dining table, waiting quietly.

She understood Yi An. After all, Yi An was an ordinary person, an original inhabitant of this world. It was normal for her thoughts to be led astray and assimilated; she just needed to be taught properly in the future.

She didn’t care about others, but her own home absolutely could not become a trash heap!

What was salvaged from the kitchen was a pot of steamed rice. If the kitchen hadn’t exploded, Bu Yan’s intended menu would have included three dishes and a soup.

Bu Yan struggled between continuing to cook or ordering takeout. After deep thought, she finally pulled out her phone and opened Meituan.

“Yi An,” sensing that the dazed person nearby had moved, Bu Yan immediately asked, “Is there anything you want to eat?”

“Anything is fine~”

Now she seemed to have returned to normal again.

Bu Yan lowered her eyes, scrolling through her phone. “Let’s look together.”

Yi An put on her fluffy slippers, jogged to Bu Yan’s side, and added: “As long as we don’t eat little animals.”

“Mm,” noticing Yi An’s gaze, Bu Yan tilted the phone screen slightly toward her. “Choose for yourself.”

Yi An took one look and immediately pouted. “I can’t choose.”

There were too many varieties, the interface was chaotic, and ads popped up from time to time. Yi An felt tired just looking at it and handed the decision-making power back to Bu Yan. “Sister, anything is fine, as long as there are no little animals~”

She really seemed to have returned to normal.

“Vegetarian? Like yesterday?” “Mm-hmm.”

“You are too thin; you need to eat meat to replenish nutrients,” Bu Yan said.

Yi An picked at her hands, feeling very conflicted: “But, the little animals are so pitiful. They didn’t do anything and were killed and eaten by you.”

This is also true…

Bu Yan respected Yi An, specifically picking vegetarian dishes. But when preparing to check out, she added an extra dish of vegetable-meatballs.

Meat and vegetables mixed together she shouldn’t be able to tell, right?

How could one not eat meat? Bu Yan didn’t understand why Yi An had such a thought. Since ancient times, meat has been an important component of the human diet, providing rich nutrients for the body.

She now had reason to suspect that Yi An being so thin and fragile was caused by not eating enough, not being warm enough, and not eating meat.

Since she had taken over the original body, she had to take good care of the original owner’s wife, nourish her back to health, make her strong, and make her plump!

If she wouldn’t eat meat, she would slowly let her accept it, bit by bit.

Out of the corner of her eye, Bu Yan glimpsed the newly repaired kitchen and remembered part of the original book’s setting food safety. As the environment deteriorated and the apocalypse arrived, vast amounts of food would be contaminated by toxic substances. Though there were ways to cope, it was still more reassuring to put things she made herself into her mouth. She still had to learn to cook…

Bu Yan silently searched for “beginner chef” videos online, entering the kitchen to learn from the most basic tutorials, while casually saving tutorials on farming and growing vegetables.

Seeing Bu Yan enter the kitchen right after blowing it up, Yi An was so scared she rushed over in two or three steps, blocking her. “Sister, what are you doing! Making food again?”

“Researching why the kitchen explodes.” Bu Yan bypassed Yi An, bending down to twist the gas valve. With a hissing sound, dots of blue flame emerged on the stove.

Although there was no pot on the fire, just in case, Yi An quickly moved all the pots, bowls, and pans out of the kitchen.

“Maybe the kitchen is cursed against us,” Yi An had been playing with her phone all day. Besides the Heteromorphic God, she had learned other fun things. Now, she was using those learned concepts to advise and comfort with a straight face:

“We great women were not born to cook! Especially someone as excellent and powerful as Sister! And… and…”

“And what?”

She didn’t know. Yi An couldn’t think of an “and.”

“It’s okay, Sister. We’ll learn slowly. No skill is learned all at once,” seeing that the previous reasoning didn’t work, Yi An changed her strategy. She squatted down right next to Bu Yan, watching the blue flames on the stove together, and said word by word: “I will learn together with Sister.”

As she spoke, she lightly rubbed her head against Bu Yan’s arm.

It gave a visual sense of a naughty kitten trying to please its master.

Bu Yan didn’t say anything, but the corners of her mouth curved up involuntarily, her pinky finger secretly tangling with Yi An’s blue hair.

At the same time, she kept twisting the valve. The fire went from small to large, then large to small, and the ring of flame expanded or contracted accordingly. The heat hit their faces, and a faint smell of gas lingered at the tip of their noses, somewhat pungent.

“Sister…” Yi An rubbed her nose and asked softly, not understanding, “What are you looking at?”

“There’s something inside.” Bu Yan pulled Yi An behind her, closed the valve tightly, put on heat-resistant gloves, and disassembled the stove.

Instantly, a slimy, long, cylindrical object quickly retreated deeper inside.

Just as she was about to disassemble further to catch the thing, Bu Yan, not knowing what she had thought of, hurriedly backed up a few steps. At the same time, several faint crackling sounds came from beneath the stove.

“What is that?” Yi An’s curiosity was piqued. Just as she was about to step forward for a closer look, her body was suddenly yanked, and she tumbled into a warm embrace.

When she reacted, she was lying on her back on the ground, with Bu Yan lying on top of her, hugging her tightly.

In such a falling posture, her body should have felt pain, but Yi An felt no pain at all except for her buttocks.

Later, she felt a hand behind her head and another at her waist. They were Bu Yan’s.

But Yan had protected her but failed to protect herself. She remained unconscious, no matter how much she was called.

See, one still has to believe in the Heteromorphic God.

Yi An secretly decided that when the explosion ended, she would definitely criticize Bu Yan properly!

The Heteromorphic God is useful!