The Long Night - Chapter 44

After Qin Yun-qi roared, “Stop with the fucking nonsense,” Yu Xing’s mind went blank for a moment. His panic made him forget to hang up the phone, and then he heard, “I was just playing around. Do you have to be so serious about it?”

Then, as if he could stop something, he quickly hung up the phone.

It was a long time before he belatedly felt a tearing pain in his chest, like a swordsman in a martial arts movie who had been stabbed. He wouldn’t bleed immediately after being injured and would only collapse after chasing a few more steps.

Yu Xing’s face was as pale as paper, making his eyes look like two black holes. He said to the driver in a hoarse voice, “Please take me to the villa.”

The car turned sharply, drawing a smooth silver line in the dark night. Yu Xing forced himself to take a deep breath. His fingers trembled as if he was experiencing an avalanche. He intermittently typed, “What do you mean by what you said?” and then slowly deleted each word, straightening his posture. “I’ll wait for you.”

It was as if black asphalt was flowing from his fingertips. He wiped the screen hard. The message said “delivered” but hadn’t changed to “read.”

Yu Xing stared at the two words for a while, then selected a cute little rabbit gif that was sitting obediently from the sticker pack. The light on his phone screen dimmed and then brightened again. It flickered on and off. After a long time, he didn’t receive a reply. He had a premonition that there wouldn’t be one.

Yu Xing lowered his head. The warm yellow light from the streetlights outside the car window fell on his neck and thin back. The curve was coated with a layer of fuzzy light, making him look a little lonely and dejected.

After that day, Yu Xing publicly announced that he was sick. His workload was reduced, and many of his scheduled events were canceled. For a while, his reputation wasn’t great.

Ge Dong-lin also became idle. In the past, he would have nothing to do at home on his days off, but now he suddenly found that he had a lot of things to do.

He would go to the club to watch Lu Xiao box and occasionally go to his place for a meal.

Lu Xiao didn’t know how to cook many dishes, but he never got tired of eating the same ones over and over again. He had bought many pots and all the kitchen utensils were complete, like a kitchen a professional chef would have. Ge Dong-lin looked at him busy and felt as if he could see the silhouette of him living alone over the years through layers of time.

It wasn’t until half a month later that he realized that Lu Xiao just seemed to have a hobby of playing house. All of these things were just for show. The thing he used most often was the rice cooker. The thing he was best at making was noodles, adding cabbage and mushrooms, two eggs, and finally pouring in the seasoning packet from the instant noodles.

“My college roommate also liked to cook noodles like this,” Ge Dong-lin took a bite of the fried egg, which had a little runny yolk. “I mooched off a lot of his food back then.”

“Who cooks better?” Lu Xiao’s expression was as if he hadn’t expected himself to ask such a question.

Ge Dong-lin, however, felt a gentle tickle in his heart and said with certainty, “You do.”

The taste awakened some long-dormant memories. He remembered things from the past. The dorm he lived in during college was old and in disrepair. Six people were crammed into a space of a little over ten square meters. The walls were cracked and peeling like fluttering wings. The concrete floor wasn’t allowed to be covered with floorboards due to fire safety requirements. The entire room was like the messy hold of a freighter.

At that time, his roommate played games all night. He could hear him even with earmuffs on, so he watched movies on many sleepless nights. His favorite scene was when the male lead drove alone to the Iguazu Falls. Sometimes he would fantasize that he was the one sitting in the car. He had watched this movie many times. On one summer night, his roommate was bored and came to his bed to watch with him. He found it funny that the character who was sick still had to cook for her boyfriend and laughed while patting his shoulder.

At that time, the days seemed endless. The confusion and fear about the future were like a monotonically increasing function on the x-axis, getting more intense as graduation approached. He served tea and water in the recording studio, chased after actors in the film crew, bowed and apologized. Some internships had no salary, so he didn’t miss a single meal, no matter how bad it tasted.

Qin Li found him at this time. Maybe he saw his hard-working nature, his poverty that made him easy to manipulate, or maybe he keenly noticed that when his eyes looked at those glamorous people, they would unconsciously reveal a desire to destroy them. Qin Li threw a business card to him. “Come find me when you’ve thought about it.” The light voice and the business card fell in front of him together.

A pie fell from the sky.

Ge Dong-lin never had a choice. The needle-like fate pierced his limbs, firmly pinning him to a Styrofoam board, making him a hidden, unseen puppet. Malice from the darkness was continuously poured into his heart.

The kitchen was filled with steam. Lu Xiao was cutting tofu. His broad back and lean waist formed a beautiful inverted triangle.

Ge Dong-lin stared at his back, his mind wandering. This person had such a big contrast between the club and home. He would beat his opponents to a pulp in the boxing ring, but when he returned home, he seemed to enjoy playing house.

His eating habits were very good. He never ordered takeout and rarely ate heavy, oily, or spicy stir-fries. He only liked steamed or boiled food and loved to mix dipping sauces.

The hot water in the pot bubbled, and the steam was filled with the aroma of food. Ge Dong-lin sat at the dining table. His gaze went past the transparent glass door and saw the satisfied smile on Lu Xiao’s face.

“I bought crucian carp and tofu at the market this morning. How about I make you some fish soup for lunch? What do you want for dinner? There’s still some beef in the fridge. I can also make beef and potatoes, and shrimp with garlic and glass noodles. Do you like them?”

The pot was still boiling. Lu Xiao walked out of the kitchen. The blue apron he was wearing didn’t look out of place at all. His 115-centimeter chest circumference created a slightly bulging outline. He babbled, arranging the menu for the entire day. Ge Dong-lin leaned on the table and laughed so hard that he couldn’t straighten up. “Hey, do you only think about whether to throw a left or right punch when you’re boxing and about what to eat and drink the rest of the time?”

“That’s not as ridiculous as you make it sound,” Lu Xiao was unhappy that he made him sound like a single-celled organism with a muscular body and a simple mind. After refuting, he smiled shyly. “I’m not usually like this. I used to just boil noodles when I came home. I would just put whatever was in the fridge in it, as long as it had carbs, protein, and dietary fiber.” He turned off the induction cooker. After the machine stopped, his voice became clearer. “Whenever I’m with you, I act like a person I don’t even know myself.”

Ge Dong-lin’s heart suddenly skipped a beat, as if he had missed a foothold while rock climbing. The expression on his face instantly melted. The corners of his mouth hadn’t even turned up, but his eyes were already filled with a smile. “Really?”

Lu Xiao was too embarrassed to answer and turned back to the kitchen, holding a steaming bowl in his hand and changing the subject. “You try this first.”

It had been like this since the first time he came to his house. Lu Xiao liked to scoop out a few pieces of the food before it was done and put it in a bowl for Ge Dong-lin to try first.

The first time he did this, Ge Dong-lin was stunned for a moment when he looked at the spareribs in the bowl. He then looked up and saw Lu Xiao’s shy but bright smile, which was like a long shot in a movie with only background music and no dialogue.

He thought of his grandfather when he was a child. At that time, his father had recently remarried, and his stepmother and younger brother had also moved in. Five people lived in the old house. Before all the adults sat down to eat, his grandfather would secretly call him to the kitchen, fill his small bowl, and tell him to eat quickly.

But at that time, he didn’t understand anything. He just wanted to eat very slowly, to let the aroma of the meat stay in his mouth for a little longer and chew for a little longer. His father came into the kitchen and saw him with his cheeks puffed out like a mouse that was stealing food. He glared at his grandfather with a sarcastic tone. “Dad, what do you mean by this?”

What did he mean? Many years later, Ge Dong-lin finally understood what he meant, but by that time, he and his grandfather had already been kicked out. There was a family portrait of three people hanging in his father’s living room. He wasn’t in it, and it still looked complete and warm.

…

“Why are you crying? Is it that bad?” Lu Xiao scratched the hair on his forehead. His expression was always sincere and open, so even when he was joking, it felt like he was genuinely worried about the question.

“It’s delicious,” Ge Dong-lin said slowly. “I just suddenly realized,” he took a deep breath before he could laugh and say the rest of the sentence. “I just suddenly realized that I’m afraid of leaving you.”

Under the thick twilight, even the usually cold city seemed to be covered with a layer of sadness. Even at the happiest moments, he was worried about gaining and losing, afraid that he would lose it, as if Venus shouldn’t have complete arms, and he shouldn’t have a single second of complete happiness.

When summer was about to end, Yan Liao went on a marathon with Tang Shaocheng.

Even after finishing the entire race, he didn’t learn any qualities of perseverance or persistence. His legs were sore and painful for days, as if they were filled with the spicy broth of a Sichuan hot pot.

Time was wasted either here or there. There was no point in doing anything.

Yan Liao was bored for too long and started to look for things to do. He bought a juicer and a coffee machine, but because he couldn’t bring himself to add sugar, the drinks he made were terrible. He walked back and forth in the house, doing all sorts of meaningless things that he wanted to try. The puppy followed him tirelessly.

Tang Shaocheng was usually not disturbed when he was working in the study, but Yan Liao was too bored. He still opened the door and walked in quietly.

The dog scratched the door angrily twice and then went to play with a ball of yarn.

Yan Liao stood obediently at the door, like a student waiting to be lectured by a teacher in the office. Tang Shaocheng looked up and saw him come in. He pointed to the chair next to him. “Come and sit for a while.”

Yan Liao shuffled over and sat down next to him. The laptop, which had been running for a long time, gave off a slight heat. He glanced at the few books on the bookshelf, not very interested. “I have nothing to do.”

Tang Shaocheng also noticed that his state had been going on for a while, like the confusion and anxiety that would come with being unemployed. As soon as he was idle, he felt that the machine he was running had a problem.

“You don’t have to have something to do. Just rest well for a while,” Tang Shaocheng ruffled his hair. “Just stay here.”

Yan Liao was still afraid that his lazy state would affect the person next to him, but he suddenly realized that the person next to him had probably gotten used to it a long time ago.

When they were in high school, they would study together like this. Tang Shaocheng was always able to plan all his learning tasks in an orderly manner, immersing himself in the papers and questions, automatically blocking out outside sounds so as not to be disturbed. But at that time, he seemed to have ADHD. Whenever he was with this person, he couldn’t help but want to talk, make small movements, and have unintentional physical contact with him.

…So he would say some nonsense every few seconds and keep dropping things on the floor, and he wouldn’t stop once he picked them up. Yan Liao closed his eyes. Was this the image he had unconsciously left behind in high school?

And Tang Shaocheng still liked him even with all that.

Yan Liao had a flash of inspiration—monkephilia… No.

He calmly comforted himself. It’s okay. He doesn’t like bananas, and he doesn’t want to swing on vines in a green forest.

Tang Shaocheng was still scrolling through a paper on his mouse. Yan Liao couldn’t sit still after being there for a while. When he first sat down in the chair, he stared at his hands and warned himself not to cause trouble. He even resisted the urge to grab the fountain pen on the table.

But he forgot that he had all his limbs and other places he could move. He unconsciously stretched his foot out and rubbed against Tang Shaocheng’s calf. Although he hadn’t said anything to disturb him yet, it seemed like the entire study was echoing, “Pay attention to me!”

“How can you even read that?” Yan Liao dragged his chair. The wheels made a groaning sound on the floor. His head was between Tang Shaocheng and the computer. The dense paper on the screen was like a biological weapon. Just looking at it made it hard for him to breathe. “I’ll go out.”

“No need.”

Tang Shaocheng slowly scrolled through the page and coaxed the child in a good-natured way. “You’re not bothering me. As long as you’re here, I feel at ease no matter what you do.”

Yan Liao’s heart was suddenly filled with wisdom, and he blurted out, “Then I’m your pacifier.”

…

Tang Shaocheng was already used to this person’s sudden turn of thinking.

Even so, Yan Liao didn’t expect to actually be used as a pacifier that night. The next day, he put a band-aid on his chest and still felt a faint pain in two places.

The window in the study was very narrow, and only half of the sunlight could come in. Even the desk was half bathed in the warm light and was very hot, while the other half was soaked in darkness, like a piece of driftwood floating on the water.

Yan Liao’s mind was blank before he came in and didn’t know what to say. When he saw the calendar on the table, he suddenly remembered that it was a week before September. He tilted his head and rested it on Tang Shaocheng’s shoulder. “Your birthday is coming up.”

Last week, when Yan Liao talked to his mother on the phone, she complained that only young people were willing to celebrate birthdays now. When you get older, you have no interest in celebrating your birthday at all and would rather celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival.

Yan Liao thought that he wasn’t as excited about his birthday as he used to be, but he really wanted to celebrate Tang Shaocheng’s birthday.

“Okay, what do you want to eat that day?”

Tang Shaocheng looked over. Yan Liao’s soft hair brushed against his neck, causing a slight itch. “Why are you asking me what I want to eat on your birthday?” Yan Liao looked up. “Hot pot.”

Tang Shaocheng laughed and kissed his forehead. “Okay.”

In September, the elementary school downstairs also welcomed the new semester. The broadcast, which had been silent all summer, became very regular again. The last time Yan Liao looked down from the balcony, a graduation ceremony for the sixth graders was being held on the playground. Now, a new group of first graders was welcomed.

The crosswalk at the school gate was painted with new white paint. A group of children wearing yellow hats were obediently lining up to cross the road, like a group of well-ordered rubber ducks floating in a bathtub, chattering and creating a clamorous water splash.

The expressions of those children were strangely solemn, as if they were holding a ritual in a primeval forest, but it was a little funny with their young faces.