The Long Night - Chapter 32

It was late July when the two finally settled down in Pingcheng.

Yan Liao was very resistant to revisiting old places. Although he had said “I’ll go anywhere” when Tang Shaocheng asked, his expression turned sour as soon as they got off the plane, as if a small cloud had gathered over his head.

Tang Shaocheng had persuaded Li Yi-yun to develop in Pingcheng. After four years, Li Yi-yun no longer treated him as a subordinate; sometimes, he was even more willing to humbly listen to his opinions. The location for the new law firm was also decided after he took Tang Shaocheng to look around. As soon as the renovation was completed, two new printing shops popped up next to it.

The two of them stood on the upper floor, looking down from the floor-to-ceiling windows. The park area had largely sacrificed greenery; all they saw were fast-food restaurants and coffee shops.

“How come you seem so familiar with this place?” Li Yi-yun took out a cigarette and bit on it, then handed one to Tang Shaocheng. “Have you been here before?”

“My boyfriend went to school here.”

Tang Shaocheng’s tone was casual, as if he were chatting about everyday life. Li Yi-yun looked up in disbelief, stared at him for a long time, and finally said, “You’ve got guts, kid.”

After they had settled down a bit, Yan Liao couldn’t stand his parents’ constant urging on the phone, so he and Tang Shaocheng went back home for a visit.

He knew he would be scolded for having “grown wings” or something similar. He hadn’t discussed moving to Pingcheng with his family at all, only telling them after they had already found a place.

Tang Shaocheng had selected gifts for his aunt and uncle and also bought some local specialties, tea, and imported health supplements to take back.

On the high-speed train, Yan Liao was always hesitant to speak. The train passed through a forest, and the carriage was filled with various noises. He still couldn’t hold back. He leaned close to Tang Shaocheng’s ear and whispered, “When are we going to tell our families about us?”

Tang Shaocheng was holding a thermos cup, about to pour him some hot water. When he heard this, his hand paused. He said patiently, “I think we should wait a little longer.”

“Didn’t we agree to tell them when we could make a living on our own? This way, even if we get kicked out, we won’t be homeless.”

Tang Shaocheng smiled helplessly. “It’s not that serious. It’s not like they’re going to disown us.”

“I don’t want that either.” Yan Liao rested his head on his shoulder, his fingers clutching his gray shirt. He didn’t speak for a while.

They were both silent for a moment. A train attendant pushed a cart selling drinks and snacks, the sound of the wheels rolling getting closer and then farther away. Tang Shaocheng suddenly said, “My mom already knows.”

Yan Liao’s eyes widened. “Since when?”

“The Chinese New Year two years ago, when you called her.” Tang Shaocheng raised his hand and wiped a smudge off Yan Liao’s face. “She didn’t object.”

Yan Liao’s expression changed several times. “Auntie told you I called her,” he said, blushing a little. “I don’t even remember what I said.”

It was probably good news. Yan Liao nestled back in his seat, playing with Tang Shaocheng’s fingers as he thought about this and that. He decided to just put it on hold for now.

Tang Shaocheng slid open his phone and scrolled down several pages in the chat history to find his mother’s chat box. The last time they spoke, she had sent him a contract and asked, “Can I sign this?” His mother’s business was doing very well; she had chain stores in several first-tier cities. He had replied “yes,” and she had responded with an “okay” emoji with three fingers raised. They were both very polite.

Being polite was already a good thing. Perhaps their filial bond was just a little weaker.

Yan Liao was woken up when they got off the high-speed train. He took off his eye mask and was blinded by the light. He stuck close to Tang Shaocheng for a long time. His voice was still groggy from sleep as he mumbled softly, “Walk slower, I can’t see the road.”

Tang Shaocheng couldn’t spare a hand to hold him. He looked back at Yan Liao, who was rubbing his eyes. Perhaps because they were back in his hometown, he looked like a child again.

The scent of osmanthus was in the air. They dragged their luggage and bags out of the station. It was almost dark, and scattered streetlights lit up the dimly lit area not far away. The streets were bustling with people. A taxi driver, thinking they were outsiders, took a long detour, but Tang Shaocheng pointed it out, and the driver reluctantly changed course and didn’t try to rip them off in the end.

When they were about to reach the building, Yan Liao became too scared to go up, as if he were meeting his in-laws, not his parents. Last night, he had a dream that he knelt down as soon as he got home and said, “Please forgive me,” and his dad turned into the Hulk and threw the coffee table at him.

Yan Liao was still disoriented when he woke up this morning, and now his soul was scared away again when they were almost at his doorstep.

“Relax, don’t be nervous,” Tang Shaocheng couldn’t help but laugh again. “Why are you nervous about going back to your own home?”

Yan Liao’s palms were sweaty. He rubbed Tang Shaocheng’s shirt and threatened him fiercely, “Don’t talk.” Tang Shaocheng cooperated and counted down in his head. Sure enough, he heard Yan Liao’s voice, slightly raised, pleading with him with great determination, “Please talk to me, I’m so nervous I’m going to die.”

Tang Shaocheng raised his hand and rubbed his hair. “Just look natural.”

Sometimes Yan Liao felt that even when Tang Shaocheng was fifty years old, he would still naturally rub his hair as if he were petting a dog.

The two of them went upstairs. The reflective elevator door showed their silhouettes, one in front of the other, as if they were back in the time when they wore blue and white school uniforms.

Yan Liao often thought that in these five years, it felt like they had traveled a long way. He used to be a troublesome kid who would get his hands dirty in the art studio, deliberately tear up his clothes to look cool, and get his ears pulled by his mom when he got home. Now, he knew how much fabric softener and laundry detergent to use, and he could stir-fry food in a wok without getting hurt and make delicious braised pork ribs. He had received a lot of praise and admiration and could face flashlights without blinking. Now, he had a more calm and collected personality and a broader life. He could bravely take on the world, always strong, with nothing that could break him. But when he stood with Tang Shaocheng, in that person’s gentle eyes, he always felt as if he had instantly turned back into his seventeen-year-old self.

When they got home, he enjoyed being treated like a king for a while. At dinner, Yan Liao even volunteered to go to the kitchen to make scrambled eggs with shrimp.

His mom was very shocked that he could cook now. After praising him for a while, she felt sad that he had suffered so much outside. When she tasted the food he made, she realized that her own taste buds were in for more suffering.

During dinner, a melodramatic TV series was playing on TV. She took a sip of water and reverted to her bad habit of interrogating him at the dinner table. “So you just moved over with Xiao Tang? Do you have a job now?”

“Yes,” Yan Liao said, grabbing a napkin to wipe off the sauce on his lips. “I sell my paintings.”

His mom’s reaction to this answer was as if her son had said, “Mom, thank you for putting me through university. I’ve decided to become a beggar and a wanderer after graduation.” The veins on her forehead throbbed. She gritted her teeth and asked with a loving smile, “That’s so impressive. Who are you selling your paintings to? Blind people?”

Yan Liao nodded with a cold smile. “Yes. After I finish a painting, someone embroiders on it, and the blind people cry when they touch it.”

His dad looked at this long-unseen but very familiar scene of a kind mother and a filial son. He laughed dryly a couple of times and told Tang Shaocheng to eat more.

The two of them chatted back and forth with great enthusiasm. Finally, Yan Liao used his ultimate move. He tilted his head back, his eyes wide, trying to look younger to evoke his mother’s love. “Mom, didn’t you say that as long as I’m healthy and happy, it’s enough?”

He got a kind and warm reply, “You must have misremembered, sweetie. What Mom said was, ‘Get lost.'”

Now, even after dinner, he couldn’t get lost. He had to wash the dishes. His dad looked at him with tears in his eyes as he rolled up his sleeves and put his hands in the sink, as if he had been waiting for this day for many years.

When it got dark, the two of them accompanied their parents to the newly built wetland park nearby for a walk. The air was humid and hot. Yellow neon lights lit up the bridge. Pink lotus flowers were blooming in the pond, and something that was either a mandarin duck or a regular duck was swimming under the green lotus leaves.

Yan Liao was scolded by his parents all night for “painting not being a proper job.” He kept giving Tang Shao-cheng glances, telling him to find a way to help him out. He was so sick of avoiding the topic that he wanted to just say, “I’m gay,” and throw two surprise bombs at once to test his parents’ tolerance.

Tang Shaocheng had to dutifully stay behind and talk to Yan Liao’s parents. They chatted about recent TV shows, family gossip, and the places they had traveled to in the past few years. He finally managed to get them into a good mood.

Yan Liao walked in front, hearing the three people behind him laughing and talking from time to time. He was in a good mood. He had been a little sweaty from the humid air, and the clothes clinging to his body felt uncomfortable, but suddenly he felt refreshed.

When he was seventeen, he lived downstairs from Tang Shaocheng. He often heard the sound of things smashing upstairs and occasionally a hysterical curse that was completely different from when his mom scolded him.

At that time, he thought that if he could give half of the love he had to Tang Shaocheng, that would be great. So every time he brought this person to his house and saw him being surrounded by his mom and dad, being showered with care and praise, he was never jealous. He only felt that when the other person was happy, he would be happy too.

The good mood of all four of them lasted until they got home. His parents watched TV in the living room, and Yan Liao followed Tang Shaocheng into the room. Everything in the room was pretty much the same. The bedsheets were a clean sky blue, the walls had yellowing anime posters, the bookcase was filled with a complete set of manga, and action figures and models were in a dusty display case, as if an unstudious high school student still lived there.

As soon as the door closed, Yan Liao snuggled into Tang Shaocheng’s arms and tilted his head up to kiss him. They were intertwined all the way to the desk, unable to let go of each other. Yan Liao’s hand instinctively reached under Tang Shaocheng’s shirt to feel his abs but was stopped by his wrist. Tang Shaocheng pinched his nose. “Aren’t you afraid of being found out?”

With his nose pinched, Yan Liao could only talk with a stuffy voice like a cartoon character. “If they find out, I don’t have to tell them.” He suddenly thought of something, pushed Tang Shaocheng’s hand away, narrowed his eyes, and huffed a breath. “Since I already knew, you didn’t have to confess.”

Tang Shaocheng found it familiar. He recalled that it was a conversation that had happened in this very room four years ago. Tang Shaocheng had only wanted to tease the kid, but he didn’t expect Yan Liao to still remember it and even be able to mimic his tone from back then.

He found it amusing. Yan Liao bit his chest a few times through his shirt. His face was pressed against his chest, where he could hear a steady and powerful heartbeat, and he felt a little anxious. “How about we just tell them? I’m under a lot of pressure right now.”

Tang Shaocheng kissed Yan Liao’s ear and asked in a low voice, “Are you sure you want to tell them now, baby? What if they break us up?”

“Then you can stand in front and block them. If they hit you, they can’t hit me.”

Yan Liao said this stubbornly, but he only dared to say it, not do it. He was also afraid that staying in the room with Tang Shaocheng for too long would make them suspicious. After tidying up his clothes, he went out with a sense of righteousness, telling Tang Shaocheng to keep his distance.

Although he had never been an obedient kid, he still didn’t know how his parents would react to something as seemingly rebellious as “being gay.”

Perhaps it was a guilty conscience. From the time they got back from their walk until they went to bed, Yan Liao acted very obediently. He even massaged his mom’s shoulders while watching TV in the living room. His mom was so flattered that she asked him, “Go on, tell me, how much down payment do you want me to give you?”

His dad also chimed in in a timely manner, “The deed to the house is in the bookcase. You can come and massage me too.”

Yan Liao’s sincerity was misplaced. He was so angry that he asked them if he couldn’t be filial just because he wanted to be, to which they replied with a perfectly synchronized “Ha,” as if they were a chorus.

He stomped back to his room. Tang Shaocheng was already in bed, waiting for him in his pajamas, like he was hiding a lover in a golden house. Yan Liao flopped onto the bed like a diver and decided to just forget about it and talk about it later.

His sleep quality also became very good when he was home.

Tang Shaocheng had a habit of jogging in the morning. Usually, when they were at home, he would go out for a run while Yan Liao slept soundly. When he came back from his run, he would also buy pumpkin porridge and steamed buns from the breakfast shop. But this morning, to keep a little distance from his mom for a bit of beauty, Yan Liao came out with a yawn and went jogging with Tang Shaocheng.

The morning air was still filled with humid mist. Before long, small droplets of water were hanging from Yan Liao’s eyelashes. He lowered his eyelids tiredly and said he wanted to find a bridge to sleep under for a while.

The two of them jogged around the neighborhood and returned to the breakfast shop downstairs to buy some food. Five years had passed, but the owner still recognized them. She recalled the past with emotion, talking about how the two kids used to get up early every day to go to school. The two of them also remembered the scorching, distorted air of the last semester of their senior year of high school and the creaking ceiling fan in the classroom. They heard that the school had enough money to install air conditioners after they left, and the cafeteria had also added another floor. It was still difficult to love their alma mater.

When the owner said this, her eyes lit up as she asked them what they did for a living now…Yan Liao remembered that he had proudly told his dad yesterday, “My profession now is an artist,” and his dad had nodded while drinking tea. “Oh, so you’re unemployed.”

He thought about this and decided he would never talk like that again. So he pondered for a moment and said he was an astronaut. He then looked at Tang Shaocheng, feeling that he couldn’t be partial and had to give him a cool job as well. He shouldn’t have been reading manga before bed last night. Yan Liao glanced at Tang Shaocheng and said with great certainty, “He’s a pirate captain.”