The Long Night - Chapter 25

“I know I was wrong, even though I didn’t do anything wrong, but I know I was wrong.”

Yan Liao said this with conviction, his back against the bedroom door.

An hour ago, Tang Shaocheng said he was going back upstairs to his own home, but his uncle and aunt, feeling guilty, stopped him, as if they were too embarrassed for him to see them arguing. Even though the safe haven had turned into Pearl Harbor, Yan Liao’s eyes were still fixed on him, with a look that said, “I’ll go wherever you go.” He had no choice but to stay. He could only gather a rough idea of what had happened from what his aunt said.

They weren’t angry that he had rejected a valuable opportunity; they were more angry that he had kept something from them.

But in someone else’s home, it wasn’t appropriate to overstep and discipline their child. Yan Liao had been scolded for two hours. In front of Tang Shaocheng, he didn’t dare to talk back to his parents. He was suffocating all afternoon. When Tang Shaocheng found an excuse to go upstairs that evening, Yan Liao followed him right away.

He knocked on the door like a bandit, but after he came in, he was too scared to make a sound. He followed Tang Shaocheng into the room, and as soon as the door was closed, he started chattering about how he knew he was wrong.

“Don’t come closer,” Tang Shaocheng said, still trying to make sense of things. His head hurt even more when he heard Yan Liao’s confession. He sat on the edge of the bed and frowned. “Stand still.”

The room instantly became completely silent, as if a branch had been snapped in half.

Yan Liao leaned against the door, looked up at him, and quickly looked back down. He slowly moved his back away from the door and stood up straight, his hands out of his pockets and hanging at his sides.

Like a reversal of time, Tang Shaocheng suddenly recalled a night half a month ago.

Yan Liao was lying on his chest. After an argument, in a moment of subtle tension, he said in a soft, yielding voice, “I want to be with you forever.”

“I don’t want to be apart from you for one minute, not one second.”

In that tender moment of confessing his love, his words were full of affection and charm. Tang Shaocheng’s fingers twisted Yan Liao’s hair, curling it so it couldn’t return to its original state. It was soft and easy to shape.

He played along. “Me, too.”

Yan Liao looked up at him, his eyes as clear as a Go board, with the look of someone who would never regret a move.

At that time, Tang Shaocheng didn’t understand the deeper meaning. He just thought it was a confession and took it to heart, his fingers entwined in a soft lock of his hair.

It was curled, easy to shape, and hard to uncurl.

The warm, white light fell on Yan Liao. Tang Shaocheng squinted. The outline of the person in his vision was slightly blurred, as if he were getting to know him all over again.

Ever since he came back, ever since he had forced his way into Yan Liao’s life at an earlier age, he should have known there would be a moment like this.

“I can’t leave you.”

Yan Liao lowered his head, his fingers turning white as he clenched them. “I just can’t leave you.”

“Don’t think it’s that serious yet,” Tang Shaocheng said, looking up at him calmly. “Start over and explain it clearly.”

When faced with a problem, first think about how to solve it. Tang Shaocheng had always seen this as the proper reaction for a mature adult. Yan Liao looked at him, his throat a little tight, and he spoke vaguely about what had happened that day.

In the office, his advisor handed him a letter of recommendation and an application form, and said to him earnestly, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The department only has one slot.”

Ping City, a thousand kilometers away.

When Tang Shaocheng heard “A University,” he was in a trance for a moment and found it a little funny. Fate was so mischievous, leading them back to his school from his previous life. Yan Liao saw the globe on the desk. He picked it up, wanting to show him how far away it was, but the largest unit on it was Asia. He wiped away a tear, pointed to Asia and then to the Pacific Ocean. “It’s this far.”

“It’s just a day by high-speed train,” Tang Shaocheng said with a sigh. His temple wasn’t throbbing as much anymore. He hadn’t yet realized the seriousness of the situation, so he started to reason with him calmly. “Ping City has developed well in recent years. It’s more inclusive and suitable for studying art.”

He had only ever been strict with himself, racing to get on the path to success: junior lawyer, senior lawyer, equity partner. He just replicated his past success without giving himself any extra options.

But he had no worldly expectations for Yan Liao’s success. He believed he could create a comfortable future for him.

However, doing something that brings him a sense of accomplishment, even more than just wagging his tail around Tang Shaocheng like a puppy, would be another source of happiness. These things were not contradictory.

Yan Liao looked up, his dark eyes filled with tears, staring at him stubbornly. “I don’t want to go.”

“You like me, and I like you. You’re good to me, and I’m good to you. Your exam scores were so good. You came to the same school as me, and you’re working so hard to make money. You bought me so many things, and you even agreed to move out and live with me.”

“So I should be like that to you, too.”

He was speaking incoherently, even with a childish, pleading tone, still hoping that his willfulness would be met with patience and understanding from Tang Shaocheng, just like before.

When Tang Shaocheng gave those things to him, he never thought about it this way. This was the part that Yan Liao couldn’t understand. Was this what a first love was supposed to be? He took it in a rush, unable to accept it without giving back in equal measure. You gave up something for me, so I’ll give up something for you. You can’t leave me, and I will never leave you.

“It’s not as complicated as you think,” Tang Shaocheng said, a pang of bitterness in his heart. “Just listen to me.”

Yan Liao clenched his fists, his back against the wall, his voice filled with suppressed anger. “Then why do I always have to listen to you?”

“I just don’t want it to be only you giving! I want to…” give up and sacrifice for you, too. He even felt a genuine sense of satisfaction at the thought of “finally being able to give up something for you.” There seemed to be a flickering candle in his eyes. “I want to be like you.”

Tang Shaocheng frowned and couldn’t hold back. “Is that the same thing? Can you use your brain before you do something?”

Yan Liao took a deep breath. His chest rose and fell as if with a high tide. He tried to control his emotions, but he couldn’t. He pursed his lips, and tears streamed down his face.

He cried and crouched down, his voice trembling and softening. “Don’t be mean to me.”

Tang Shaocheng would usually soften at the sight of his pitiful expression, but in this situation, he couldn’t give in anymore. He also crouched down, took Yan Liao’s chin, and made him look up. “Between you and me, you don’t have to worry about who gives more. I want what’s best for you, just like you want what’s best for me.”

Tang Shaocheng looked at him. Only then did he suddenly remember the sentence from six months ago that had almost come true: “You’re the culprit who made me this way.” The resentments were like vines wrapping around the two of them. If he didn’t correct it in time, it would lead to an irreversible situation.

“Even if you want to decline, I don’t want you to do it for this reason,” Tang Shaocheng said seriously. “Do you think I would give up on you just because we’re not in the same city?”

Yan Liao looked up and bit his lip. “You wouldn’t.”

Tang Shaocheng sighed. At least he had some sense. If he were still so insecure and worried even after this, he really wouldn’t know what to say.

“Don’t let what I do affect your judgment. And don’t worry that I’ll accommodate you because of your choices. No matter what, I will stand by you,” Tang Shaocheng’s voice softened, like a gentle autumn breeze rustling the leaves. “You’ve already changed so much for me, haven’t you?”

Yan Liao nodded hard in his arms. The tears were still falling, and he said “mhm” with a nasal voice, full of grievance.

“You’ve done a really good job,” Tang Shaocheng said gently, stroking the back of his head. “Be a good boy, okay, baby?”

Yan Liao pursed his lips. His eyes were red and swollen from crying, and the skin on his cheeks hurt from being rubbed. He held onto his knees and slowly stood up. His legs were a little weak. He picked up the globe and put it back on the table, reluctantly accepting the last nickname.

After that argument, the rest of the summer was relatively peaceful. They took their driving tests during those two months.

The driving instructor got a headache every time he saw Yan Liao. What hurt more were his arms, back, and legs. Naturally, Yan Liao didn’t disappoint him. He got a thousand points off on his mock driving test, but his attitude was great. Over the whole summer, the instructor was exhausted but finally graduated him.

The hot summer sun beat down. The weather forecast was either a “heat wave warning” or a “heavy rain warning.” Sometimes, it was both at the same time, which the citizens jokingly called “boiling rain.”

On the last night before they left, it was just the two of them at home.

The curtains blocked out the continuous lights outside. The only light in the room was a dim table lamp. The sheets and blankets smelled warm and rich from being sun-dried. Because they were in Tang Shaocheng’s room, there was a strangely different kind of thrill.

Skin touched skin, like a lit match thrown into a haystack, quickly igniting into a raging fire.

…

Yan Liao was gasping for air under Tang Shaocheng. His slender fingers gripped the sheets tightly. “No… no more.”

“Are you sure?”

Yan Liao’s ears were hot. “…Yes, one more time.”

His spot at the school was held until September. Yan Liao went back and completed the guest student procedures. After one school year, he would be a junior when he returned.

A University started a week earlier, so Tang Shaocheng had time to take him there.

The plane flew smoothly through the stratosphere. He could see the clear blue sky outside the window. Tang Shaocheng looked at Yan Liao lying next to him and tucked the blanket around him.

He didn’t have to worry about Yan Liao being timid or shy anywhere. He was rarely nervous when he was out, but he just didn’t take anything seriously.

Last night, Yan Liao was still complaining while looking through the course schedule on the school’s app. “I have to take classes like Art History and Art Theory four times a week.” There wasn’t a single class he liked. “I’m only going to get two yuan’s worth out of my eight thousand yuan tuition.”

Ping City Airport was huge. It took more than ten minutes just to get to the shuttle bus.

After leaving the terminal, Tang Shaocheng didn’t look at the signs once. It was a city he had lived in for twelve years. Not only did he know what it looked like now, but he also knew what it would be like in the future. Yan Liao was also used to not having to worry about anything when the other person was around. They took the subway for half an hour, and the exit was right at the main gate of A University. Tang Shaocheng downloaded a few apps on Yan Liao’s phone to make it easier for him to get around.

The path into the school was a tree-lined road. A few years ago, the trees were pretentious French sycamores, but in his junior year, someone decided to switch them to Photinia, and the students passing by had to hold their breath.

Everything was very familiar. Tang Shaocheng had a lot of affection for this school. He had met many great teachers and friends who had helped him in his career and life, and he had spent a very simple student life here.

The last time he came back to this school was when he was twenty-eight, to give a speech as an honorary alumnus. But no matter how powerful his words were or how thunderous the applause was from the audience, all he could think about when he thought of Yan Liao was that he was a complete failure.

“Later, go to the department to register, then go to the dorm to drop off your luggage and figure out where the package station is. A few more packages will be arriving in a couple of days. Remember to ask your classmates if there’s a delivery group for the school and ask for help if you can’t carry something.”

Yan Liao had been in a low mood ever since they arrived. “Can’t I just not live in the school dorms?”

“I don’t feel at ease,” Tang Shaocheng said, squeezing his wrist.

The two of them went to the art department to take care of the paperwork with the advisor. They came out with a green student ID. The photo on it was taken for his college entrance exam. Yan Liao was wearing a white shirt, and his beautiful, delicate features seemed to radiate coldness. He didn’t know what had made him unhappy that day. His expression was pretty much the same today.

There were students walking around in groups of twos and threes. It was peak tourist season, and there was a continuous stream of visitors. The school’s buildings were very new and looked beautiful, like tourist attractions. Tang Shaocheng could still remember which path led to the library, and where the law school and the debate hall were.

Yan Liao kept his head down. “This school is not good at all,” he said coldly and definitively.

Tang Shaocheng squeezed his hand. The steady, regular sound of car wheels on the asphalt road was not far away. “Let’s go take a walk outside the school later and see if there are any interesting places nearby.”

“Without you, nowhere is interesting.”

Tang Shaocheng laughed with a sigh. He held Yan Liao’s hand and walked all the way to the art department dormitory building. He first had him register with the dorm manager.

Many students walked past, with all sorts of hair colors. Tang Shaocheng looked at Yan Liao, who was seriously filling out his personal information on the form. Ever since he heard him say “black looks good,” he hadn’t dyed his hair again. The way he dressed and carried himself was also something Tang Shaocheng had never interfered with, but Yan Liao seemed to have made adjustments based on his expressions and reactions, gradually becoming someone the other person found pleasing.

These changes that had happened so subtly, like a slow stream, he only just now realized.

“I’m done.”

Yan Liao handed the registration form to the dorm manager and took the key from him. He looked up at Tang Shaocheng. “Where are you staying these days?”

“I booked a hotel. My classes start tomorrow. You’re staying here tonight…”

“I’ll come find you.”

They walked toward the elevator. Tang Shaocheng had originally hoped that Yan Liao would get to know his roommates and get familiar with the dorm before school started. But standing next to him, he could feel the low pressure that had been hanging over him ever since they got off the plane. They had to take things slowly.

He sighed. “Okay. We’ll go to the supermarket later to buy some daily necessities and some snacks to share with your roommates.”

Yan Liao frowned. “Who cares about them?”

There was only one boy in the dorm. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and was hanging clothes on the balcony. He was whistling happily as he worked.

Ever since they walked in, Yan Liao’s expression was as dark as a rain cloud.

Tang Shaocheng couldn’t coax him in front of other people, so he could only squeeze his shoulder. Yan Liao reluctantly sat down on a chair, watching Tang Shaocheng busy himself, making his bed and hanging his clothes in the closet one by one.

“Hey, buddy, you just arrived?”

The boy came in from the balcony and greeted them openly. “My name is Chen Yu. What should I call you?”

Yan Liao was too lazy to even lift his eyelids. Tang Shaocheng greeted Chen Yu and introduced the person sitting next to him who wasn’t moving. Yan Liao gave a cold “mhm.” Only after Tang Shaocheng kicked his chair leg did he say grudgingly, “Nice to meet you.”

Before the other roommates came back, Yan Liao was in a hurry to leave. The two of them walked around the school, getting familiar with the roads. Tang Shaocheng walked behind him, his tone unconsciously like that of a father or an older brother, nagging him about what to pay attention to in dorm life and how to talk and act to avoid conflicts.

Yan Liao’s ears were practically numb from listening. He held his hand tighter and said sarcastically, “You really are my dad.”

“Since you know, then listen to me,” Tang Shaocheng said with a calm expression.

Yan Liao snorted through his nose and his throat moved. He suddenly leaned in and whispered in his ear, “If we have a baby, should they call me ‘gege’ or ‘mama’?”

“…” Tang Shaocheng took a deep breath. He didn’t care about the second part. The most urgent matter was to review his physiological knowledge. “We won’t have a baby.”

Yan Liao, the master actor, deliberately widened his eyes and put on a surprised, disbelieving expression. “Really? Then… all of that went to waste.”

…

There was no way to continue this conversation.

He finally stopped nagging and remained silent. Silence was a great virtue.

Yan Liao was laughing so hard. He walked pressed up against Tang Shaocheng the whole way from the school to the outside. He didn’t walk in a straight line once. They were almost squeezing into the car lane.

They went to a nearby mall and bought some things. Tang Shaocheng was relieved when he paid for it, and the prices were normal. Ping City was indeed one of the best developing cities in the country in recent years. It was as if it had its own monetary system.

After he came out, he transferred another ten thousand yuan to Yan Liao’s bank card. “Don’t be afraid to spend money. If you need anything, tell me first.”

Yan Liao looked at the deposit alert on his phone. The thing he was trying to forget came back to him. That irritable feeling returned.

“I don’t want to be here by myself.” His fingers gripped Tang Shaocheng’s clothes, unwilling to let go.

He had been coaxing him patiently the whole time, and his patience was about to run out. Tang Shaocheng stopped and looked at him. “Try to make some friends and have a better relationship with your classmates. At the very least, you have to be civil. What did I say before? Did you forget all of it?”

“…I didn’t forget.”

The person who had been so menacing all of a sudden pursed his lips and was about to cry. There was a thin film of moisture in his dark, beautiful eyes. “Don’t be mean to me. I won’t be able to see you in a few days.”

Tang Shaocheng sighed. He was out of ideas.