The Little Fox Spirit Doesn't Want to Carry a Cub - Chapter 22

The information in the youth’s sentence was so overwhelming that Jiang Shen couldn’t react for a moment, wondering if he had misheard.

“You said you…” Jiang Shen cleared his throat and asked uncertainly, “You said you what?”

“Carrying your cub.” Li Ruan lowered his head, stroking his flat abdomen. “Right here. It’s why I haven’t been able to culti—”

His voice cut off abruptly. He had almost let it slip.

Li Ruan knew that mortals were terrified of demons. Jiang Shen had accepted him quickly before likely because he was too injured to resist when Li Ruan dragged him into the cave. Even so, the first time they met, he had scared Jiang Shen into a faint. Now that Jiang Shen was back in the mortal world with so many subordinates, he might order them to drive Li Ruan away if he found out he was a demon.

That would be troublesome. Li Ruan bit his lip, feeling annoyed with himself.

But he was truly terrible at acting. Carrying Jiang Shen’s cub didn’t actually make Li Ruan feel much of anything. He was a demon who had lived for many years; unlike mortals, his dependence on blood ties and kinship had grown very thin. If anything, he found it a nuisance. Ever since this cub appeared, he felt constantly tired and hungry, and his spiritual power was continuously draining. He couldn’t cultivate, let alone ascend.

It was a real bother. But the cub’s appearance wasn’t entirely bad; at least… he could come see Jiang Shen.

From the moment he knew he was coming to see Jiang Shen, Li Ruan had been happy. He had been happy for several days, and now that he was actually speaking to him, he was practically bursting with joy. It was very difficult to pull off the “aggrieved” look the little sparrow had suggested.

Li Ruan didn’t dare say more, and Jiang Shen remained silent for a while.

Such things happened more than once or twice in the imperial family. Not just among the debauched imperial relatives, but even among the officials close to Jiang Shen. There were those of loose character who loved to dally with others only to abandon them, leading innocent women to travel to the capital while pregnant to find them, causing a scandal every time. Jiang Shen had even helped settle a similar matter last year, eventually convincing the man to marry the woman with full rites and a grand procession.

But while this could happen to anyone, it shouldn’t be possible for Jiang Shen. He had been the most self-disciplined person all his life; how could he do such a thing before marriage? Moreover, this was clearly…

Jiang Shen glanced at the youth’s chest. It was flat—flat to the point of being a bit thin. He was clearly a boy.

A man… cannot get pregnant, right?

There was really nothing to hesitate about; in all his years, Jiang Shen had never heard of the miracle of a male pregnancy. Yet, the youth before him spoke with a serious expression and sincere eyes, not looking at all like he was lying. Furthermore, if he really wanted to deceive, he should have come up with a more believable story instead of a lie that even a child wouldn’t believe.

Silence fell over the courtyard, until a voice suddenly rose from outside: “Your Highness, your subordinate thought he heard voices just now. Is there anything unusual in the courtyard?”

It was Yu Xiu. As Jiang Shen’s personal guard captain, he was always stationed outside. Without Jiang Shen’s order, he didn’t dare peek inside and could only inquire from the other side of the wall.

Panic appeared on the youth’s face.

“Don’t let them in.” Li Ruan took a step forward and grabbed Jiang Shen’s hand, lowering his voice. “Don’t let them see me.”

Jiang Shen’s heart gave a slight jolt. At that moment, all his doubts were tossed to the back of his mind, and the first thought that surfaced was—

Why is his hand so cold?

Whether it was because he had been standing in the courtyard for too long, the youth’s hand was very cold. His slender, icy fingers hooked onto Jiang Shen’s hand, and the sensation from his palm was extremely soft. It made one want to hold it back to help warm it up.

The Ancestral Temple sat deep in the mountains, and the mountain wind at night was quite strong. The youth wore only a thin layer of common cloth; his half-tied hair fluttered in the wind, making his figure look even more delicate.

How can he wear so little?

Jiang Shen didn’t even notice his focus had shifted. He couldn’t help but ask, “Don’t you have any other clothes?”

“Huh?” Li Ruan was stunned by the question and looked down at his clothes. “Can’t I wear it like this? I’m even wearing shoes.”

What does that mean? Did he not even have shoes before? Jiang Shen’s brows furrowed.

Yu Xiu’s voice came again from outside. Because Jiang Shen hadn’t answered, his voice grew heavier, sounding concerned: “Your Highness, may I enter?”

The youth gripped Jiang Shen’s hand even tighter. The icy touch transmitted through his palm. Jiang Shen looked down into the youth’s eyes; those clear, beautiful eyes held undisguised panic and tension, even a hint of grievance.

This time it wasn’t an act; he really felt a bit aggrieved. Jiang Shen’s memory had been wiped by Li Ruan himself, so he didn’t mind that Jiang Shen didn’t recognize him or was cold toward him. But he didn’t want Jiang Shen to drive him away. If Jiang Shen became wary or started to dislike him, it would be very hard to get close again. He had worked so hard just to see him…

Li Ruan gripped his hands tight but couldn’t think of what to say to make Jiang Shen believe him. Just then, Jiang Shen spoke softly.

“It’s nothing.” He was still looking at Li Ruan, his voice raised slightly, but he wasn’t speaking to him. “I just came out for some air. All of you may withdraw.”

A response quickly came from outside: “Yes.”

Li Ruan blinked. Jiang Shen didn’t let them in to drive him away—did he believe him then?

Jiang Shen stepped half a pace to the side, wanting to enter the house, but saw the youth still holding his hand, looking dazed and a bit silly. Jiang Shen felt helpless and wanted to smile but held it back. “Let’s talk inside. Isn’t it cold out here?”

Li Ruan: “…Oh.”

Li Ruan followed Jiang Shen into the room. Even after they sat at the table, he continued to hold Jiang Shen’s hand. In Jiang Shen’s memory, no one had ever dared to be so intimate with him. He glanced at the hands gripping his own, and the youth, realizing something, quickly let go.

The moment he let go, Jiang Shen’s fingers twitched; he actually instinctively wanted to keep him. He let out a cover-up cough and looked away, but the youth continued to stare at him. The youth was indeed very bad at hiding his emotions; after Jiang Shen let him in, his mood visibly improved, his eyes sparkling as he stared at Jiang Shen without blinking.

Jiang Shen asked, “What are you looking at me for?”

“I just want to look at you.” Li Ruan was very frank. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

Jiang Shen: “Is that so? How long has it been?”

Li Ruan said without thinking, “Not counting today, it’s been thirty-nine days.”

They say time doesn’t exist in the mountains, and Li Ruan usually didn’t remember dates, but he remembered every single day since Jiang Shen left. Thirty-nine days—exactly the time since Jiang Shen left him. It was also the time since Jiang Shen returned to the capital.

Jiang Shen lowered his eyes and didn’t answer. Giving that date didn’t necessarily mean anything. The Crown Prince’s return was a major event; many commoners had gathered to watch when he entered the city. It wasn’t a secret.

Jiang Shen thought for a moment and tested further: “You said just now that I forgot you. How long were we together? And where?”

“We were together from the start of winter, in…” Li Ruan hesitated. “In the mountains.”

Jiang Shen: “Which mountains?”

Li Ruan didn’t want to mention Changming Mountain and said vaguely, “Just… in a mountain outside the capital. My home is there. You were injured and fainted at my door, and I was the one who healed you.”

Jiang Shen could naturally hear the intentional concealment in his words and fell silent again. Why hide his residence? Is he really lying?

There were many more suspicious points about the youth. For instance, the Ancestral Temple was heavily guarded now; how did an ordinary boy of unknown origin bypass all guards so easily and reach his door?

Lately, Jiang Shen had caused quite a stir trying to recover his lost memory. If someone heard the news and intentionally posed as his savior to find him, it wasn’t impossible. Whether to climb the social ladder or for other schemes, it was a good opportunity.

Jiang Shen understood all these logics. He also understood that his best move should be to have the guards take the youth away for interrogation to find out where he came from and what his purpose was.

But… for some reason, at that moment, his heart softened.

Perhaps it was the youth’s aggrieved and panicked expression, perhaps it was his icy fingers, or perhaps for some other reason; in short, Jiang Shen didn’t want him to be taken away by the guards. Those guards were rough men; if he were handed to them, he would inevitably suffer some grievance, perhaps even be bullied.

He didn’t want the youth to be bullied.

Jiang Shen pondered for a moment and asked again, “Did I leave you any token?”

Li Ruan: “Token?”

“An object that represents identity,” Jiang Shen said. “Did I not give you anything?”

Li Ruan blinked blankly. He really hadn’t. That should be considered an oversight on Jiang Shen’s part back then. He didn’t know then that his memory would be wiped; he just thought the little fox likely wouldn’t go to the capital to find him, and even if he did, the little fox’s magic was so strong that meeting him would be effortless and wouldn’t require showing any token.

Therefore, he hadn’t left Li Ruan any special token.

“You have a few pieces of clothing at my place, but I didn’t bring them out.” Li Ruan bit his lip, then thought of something and looked down at his belly. “Does this count… your cub?”

Jiang Shen: “…”

Jiang Shen pressed his forehead. “Are you truly… pregnant?”

Li Ruan: “Yes, otherwise why would I come looking for you?”

“But you…” Jiang Shen surveyed him from top to bottom and confirmed again, “You are not a woman.”

“Mm, I also think it’s very strange,” Li Ruan said. “There must be something wrong with you.”

Jiang Shen: “…………” How did it become his fault???

Jiang Shen wanted to ask more, but Li Ruan suddenly yawned. “Why do you have so many questions? Can’t you ask tomorrow?”

“I know you don’t remember anything now and must have many things to ask, but I’m so tired.” Li Ruan rubbed his eyes, looking very weary. “Your place is so hard to find. The sparrow couldn’t find the way at all and led me around several mountains… Can we go to sleep first?”

Jiang Shen’s gaze moved slightly. “Who is the ‘sparrow’? Who told you I was here, and how did you get to this place?”

“The sparrow… is just the sparrow.”

As sleepiness hit, Li Ruan’s mind moved even slower, and he almost let it slip again. He thought for a moment and intentionally acted extremely exhausted, swaying as he stood up. Jiang Shen instinctively moved to support him, and the youth, as if unable to stand steadily, suddenly fell into his arms.

The youth carried a fresh scent like the woods and greenery, his body slightly cool and soft. Jiang Shen instantly froze. This wasn’t entirely a lie. Li Ruan really was a bit tired. Ever since he started carrying that fox cub, he often felt drowsy. Having traveled for so long today and waited outside the temple until late at night to find Jiang Shen, and now forcing himself to answer so many questions, his stamina had reached its limit. He really couldn’t answer any more of Jiang Shen’s questions.

As for this action… it was a seductive trick he had learned during those days. As long as he hugged Jiang Shen like this, the other would immediately grant his every request and say no more. He just didn’t know if it still worked after the memory loss.

Li Ruan thought secretly to himself, resting his head against the side of the other’s neck and even nuzzling intimately. “Ask tomorrow. I’m so sleepy, I want to sleep.”

When had the Crown Prince ever met someone so familiar? For a moment, he didn’t even know where to put his hands. “Hey, let go first—”

“Jiang Shen.” The youth suddenly called him softly. “I’m so happy.”

Jiang Shen was startled. Perhaps because it had been too long since he felt this familiar embrace, Li Ruan’s spirit relaxed almost immediately, and his voice became light and soft.

“I thought we wouldn’t see each other again. I didn’t expect to see you.”

“It’s okay if you don’t remember me. It’s enough that I remember.”

“It’s so good… to see you again.”

The voice held an uncontainable joy, sounding almost like a spoiled child. Jiang Shen’s tensed body relaxed bit by bit.

What happened tonight was too absurd. Whether it was the youth’s appearance or what he said, it was all so absurd it was unbelievable. He had countless reasons not to trust this youth, yet he just couldn’t—he just couldn’t push him away.

What if it were true? What if… he really had forgotten?

Jiang Shen tilted his head to look at the face so close to him. Actually, when the youth pounced, he had seen a bit of intent. but it was gone now. The youth seemed to have truly fallen asleep, his eyes closed softly, completely entranced and letting his weight fall entirely on him, not even worrying that Jiang Shen might suddenly let go and drop him on the floor. If this was also an act, he was acting too well.

Jiang Shen let out a silent breath, picked up the youth in a princess carry, strode into the inner chamber, and placed him gently on the bed. The youth curled up comfortably as soon as he touched the bed, his body shrinking into a small ball, much like a certain small animal. He also looked completely unguarded.

Jiang Shen stood by the bed and looked down at him for a while, then suddenly asked in a low voice, “You’re not lying to me, are you?”

“Not lying.” Li Ruan, half-dreaming, muttered, “I’d be a puppy if I lied to you.”

Jiang Shen finally smiled. “…Okay.”

The next morning, Jiang Shen woke up before dawn. With a stranger suddenly in the room, Jiang Shen had been on guard all the first half of the night, fearing more trouble. But nothing happened. The youth was so tired he fell into a deep sleep the moment he touched the bed, not even rolling over once all night—whatever posture he had before sleep, he still had in the middle of the night.

It made Jiang Shen, who stayed awake staring at him, look like a fool.

In the latter half of the night, Jiang Shen stopped being on guard but still couldn’t sleep. This strange youth had come at night and shamelessly taken Jiang Shen’s bed, leaving him to make do on the small couch in the outer room. Since returning to the capital, Jiang Shen’s habit of only sleeping in his own bed was almost cured. In the past, if the bedding wasn’t quite right, he couldn’t rest; now, he could sleep even with a piece of clothing on the floor, not picky at all.

So his inability to sleep wasn’t because the couch wasn’t comfortable enough. It was still because of this youth.

Was the youth really the one who saved him? Was he lying? What was his purpose for getting close? He said he was pregnant… of course, that part definitely couldn’t be true. Jiang Shen thought about these things all night, unable to solve them, not even knowing when he had finally drifted off.

Waking up, he was naturally too tired to feel energetic. Yet today was the first day of the ancestral ritual. According to the schedule, Jiang Shen had to go early to preside over the ceremony and worship the ancestors in public. No sleeping in.

Jiang Shen had a bit of rare “waking-up grumpiness.” He stood up and looked into the inner room; the youth was still sleeping soundly, like a little pig.

…He was even angrier. Jiang Shen stood by the bed, reached out, and pinched the youth’s rosy cheek—feeling a bit of a vengeful “if you don’t let me sleep, I won’t let you sleep well” mindset.

The touch from his fingertips was warm and soft. The youth’s brows knitted, and he moved slightly. “Jiang Shen, don’t bother me…” the youth said in a low voice. “I don’t want to do it again…”

Don’t want to do it again? Do what?

Jiang Shen suddenly remembered the youth’s accusation. Assuming the youth wasn’t lying and Jiang Shen really had forgotten him. And assuming the youth, for some reason, mistakenly thought he was carrying a child, did that mean they had already…

Jiang Shen’s gaze slowly moved down from the youth’s face. Last night before sleep, Jiang Shen had kindly helped the youth remove his shoes and socks and covered him with the quilt. But now the quilt had been kicked entirely to the foot of the bed. The youth was curled up, his collar mostly loosened from a night of sleep.

It half-revealed the porcelain-like skin beneath and a section of exquisite collarbone. The youth’s figure showed no sign of pregnancy at all; his waist was slender, as if an arm could completely encircle it. The hem of his clothes wasn’t long, and his slender calves peeked out from the red fabric, looking even whiter and smoother in contrast.

Jiang Shen swallowed and shifted his gaze with difficulty.

It… it couldn’t be, right? Sleeping with someone and then forgetting them. Was he a beast?

Jiang Shen stood in place with a complex expression for a while, then looked down at a certain place that was already spirited in the early morning.

…Are you a beast too?

Jiang Shen was still a bit dazed when he stepped out. The youth in black was waiting there at the courtyard gate. Seeing him come out, he hurriedly knelt down.

“Your Highness,” Yu Xiu asked, “there are still two hours before the ritual. Why did you wake up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Jiang Shen pressed his forehead tiredly and said calmly, “Find me a side courtyard to bathe.”

Yu Xiu was startled. “Is there something wrong with this courtyard?” This Ancestral Temple naturally couldn’t compare to the Crown Prince’s Eastern Palace, but the courtyard arranged for Jiang Shen was already the best in the entire temple. Why change it for no reason?

“Nothing wrong. Just go when I tell you to.” Jiang Shen didn’t feel like explaining and waved his hand. Yu Xiu could only respond with a “Yes” and went to arrange it.

Yu Xiu had been by Jiang Shen’s side for many years and was one of his most trusted people. He quickly arranged a brand new side courtyard. Jiang Shen didn’t want anyone to serve him, only leaving Yu Xiu waiting nearby.

The steam rose, and Jiang Shen soaked himself in the water, his tensed nerves finally relaxing. He leaned back in the pool with his eyes closed to rest. Yu Xiu stood outside, separated by a screen. His voice came through: “Your Highness should prioritize your health.”

Jiang Shen opened his eyes, not understanding what he meant.

Yu Xiu said again, “Your Highness works on state affairs day and night like this. How can your body take it in the long run?”

Jiang Shen: “…”

Yu Xiu didn’t know what happened last night; he only saw Jiang Shen’s tired expression and thought he was again forgetting food and sleep for state affairs. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. All night Jiang Shen had been thinking of everything else, forgetting state affairs entirely. If the ritual weren’t so important, he wouldn’t even want to come out this morning.

Jiang Shen cleared his throat and replied calmly, “I know.”

Yu Xiu said no more. After a while, Jiang Shen called him again: “Yu Xiu, come in.”

The youth stepped around the screen. Yu Xiu was the same age as Jiang Shen and possessed a highly skilled art of disguise; in many cases, he could directly replace Jiang Shen to do certain things. But his own actual appearance wasn’t bad either—not exceptionally outstanding, but handsome and heroic.

Jiang Shen looked at him for a while and asked, “You haven’t married yet, right?”

Yu Xiu: “Your subordinate has not yet married.”

Jiang Shen: “Do you have someone you like?”

Yu Xiu: “?”

“Ahem, I mean, if you have someone you like, you can just say it. I will settle it for you.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Yu Xiu said without suspicion. “I only wish to serve by Your Highness’s side and protect you all my life. I have no plans to marry and have children.”

“Don’t be so absolute.” Jiang Shen paused, weighing his words, and slowly asked, “If one day, you feel you’ve forgotten some very important things, and at this time, a stranger happens to come to your door and accuses you of abandoning them and forgetting them… would you believe it?”

Yu Xiu looked at Jiang Shen, his expression blank for a moment. Jiang Shen emphasized: “Hypothetically.”

Yu Xiu gave an “Oh” and thought for a moment, saying seriously, “Your subordinate believes that one-sided words cannot be fully trusted.”

Jiang Shen: “But he is very good-looking.”

Yu Xiu: “…”

Yu Xiu: “Your subordinate once heard a saying.”

Jiang Shen: “What?”

Yu Xiu: “The better-looking a person is, the more they will lie.”

Jiang Shen stared at him for a moment. Yu Xiu lowered his head. “This is also just a one-sided saying; Your Highness doesn’t have to fully believe it.”

“Mm, you have a point.” Jiang Shen nodded thoughtfully.

He then instructed, “You go down first. Guard the courtyard I stayed in last night well. From today on, don’t let anyone get close, and don’t let…” He paused, not finishing the sentence.

And don’t let that little fellow in the courtyard run away.

Since childhood, no one had ever dared to tell such a huge lie before Jiang Shen. No one dared, and no one could deceive him. Whether he was a little liar or not, he would find out eventually.

Jiang Shen lowered his eyes, remembering the youth’s unguarded sleeping face he saw before leaving this morning. A smile curled his lips. When the ancestral ritual was over, he would come back and interrogate him… personally and slowly.