The Lady I Flirted With Is Here - Chapter 44

Chapter 44: Living Together

The November wind was cruel. Lin Xian had been living at Fang Daiyu’s house for a week now. She had terminated her lease near the school, moved her essentials to Haidian via a small moving van, and locked the rest of her belongings in her dormitory locker. Before moving in, they had reached a compromise: Daiyu agreed to let Lin Xian pay rent, a gesture to soothe the younger girl’s pride. Lin Xian calculated that once the postgraduate exams were over in December, the winter break for seniors would begin. Counting on her fingers, she realized they only had a little over a month left together this year.

Time crawled forward. On blurry, wintry mornings when it was still foggy and dark outside, Fang Daiyu’s biological clock would wake her. She would pull the warm, soft Lin Xian into her arms and kiss her forehead. Lin Xian would half-open her eyes in her sleep, letting out a kitten-like murmur. In her groggy state, she’d hear Daiyu sigh: “Now I finally understand the feeling of having ‘warm jade in one’s arms and never wanting to attend court’.”

Lin Xian would fall back into a deep sleep. Every time she woke up fully, the pillows and sheets beside her were neat, and Daiyu’s pajamas were folded carefully on the bed. She knew Daiyu had gone to work. The fridge was always stocked with fruits and vegetables Daiyu had bought from the market on her way home. After a simple meal for one, Lin Xian would hug a pillow and sit on the rug by the living room’s floor-to-ceiling window, lost in thought. Her revision materials gradually took over the small study in the loft. Her days consisted of studying and waiting for dusk. As the night darkened and the streetlights flickered on, she would put on her coat and head out to meet Daiyu.

The walk from the house to the company wasn’t long, passing restaurants, snack stalls, and fruit shops. Since moving here, life felt slower. The neighborhood was surrounded by old complexes slated for demolition and various government compounds. Most people on the streets were the elderly or children. Right outside the complex gate, there were plastic greenhouses selling fresh produce.

Lin Xian would usually spot Fang Daiyu from a distance. Across dozens of meters, their eyes would meet. Daiyu’s gaze would soften instantly, and Lin Xian’s face would break into a wide grin as she ran through the crowd toward her. A day apart felt like three years. No matter how many times she picked Daiyu up from work, it felt as exciting as the first time.

Having lived together for a while, Lin Xian began to pick up Daiyu’s habits. They used the same laundry detergent; the bathroom held matching electric toothbrushes, cups, slippers, pajamas, and even bracelets on their wrists.

Lin Xian developed a hobby of collecting and organizing. She loved cleaning the house with Daiyu on weekends, making every corner orderly. A neat freak by nature, Lin Xian transformed Daiyu’s once-cluttered wardrobe with storage boxes and clothes organizers. Every table was covered with exquisite tablecloths. On weekends, they’d wander through home decor stores. Lin Xian finally fulfilled her childhood dream of sitting in a shopping cart; as Daiyu pushed her through IKEA, she lasted only a few minutes before jumping out.

Rubbing her sore backside with teary eyes, Lin Xian grumbled, “TV shows are all lies.” Daiyu patted her head and tossed several cushions into the cart. “Sit back in!”

Lin Xian was tempted but hesitant. “Is this okay? People are watching.”

Daiyu waved her hand dismissively. “We’re buying them all anyway. They’ll go on the bay window in the bedroom to cushion our Xianxian’s bottom.”

Lin Xian’s face turned beet red. Living together made them each other’s primary support. Laughter and intimacy were constant; even their small bickers were usually out of concern for the other. Roses appeared on the coffee table, and plush toys occupied the corners of the sofa.

When they went out, they’d often mix and match clothes if they couldn’t find something new. Lin Xian discovered the perks of having a girlfriend—sharing clothes, bags, and jewelry. She also found that Daiyu was quite romantic. One night, Daiyu dragged her to the roof to see the stars, saying she wanted to make up for a childhood regret. The winter night was freezing, and their ankles turned red from the cold. Once back inside, Daiyu rubbed Lin Xian’s ankles to warm them up, nagging all the while that Lin Xian shouldn’t have listened to her.

As deep winter arrived, Lin Xian asked Daiyu for a wish. Daiyu said she wanted to sit by the window on a snowy morning, holding Lin Xian and watching the snow while Lin Xian read her fairy tales. Lin Xian burst out laughing, but Daiyu turned serious: “When I was little, I always wanted my mother to read to me, but she was too busy fighting with my father.” Lin Xian had heard fragments of Daiyu’s family history but didn’t pry. She changed the subject and marked the calendar with a bright-eyed smile.

Unfortunately, the snow didn’t come by late December, and Lin Xian’s exams arrived. During the exam period, she stayed at a hotel near the test center to avoid distractions. They didn’t see each other for a week. Before the first test, she received a text from Daiyu: “When you’re done, we’ll go to the Forbidden City to see the snow.”

On the day the exams ended, Daiyu picked her up. The roads were congested, their taxi stuck in a long line of steel. The past few days had been an ordeal of willpower. Lin Xian looked drained, and a sudden sense of displacement washed over her. Even though she had told herself this was just a “practice run” for next year, the reality of the knowledge gaps she faced during the exam made her want to cry. Thinking of her time spent immersed in the joy of her relationship, she felt a pang of bitterness.

She stared out at the crowded city, gripping Daiyu’s hand for security. Graduation was coming next year, and at this crossroads, she realized that the city she had lived in for four years didn’t feel like it belonged to her.

“Daiyu, we’re so small,” she whispered, leaning on Daiyu’s shoulder. “Beijing is so big. If I don’t pass the exams, will I be driven away? Nothing here belongs to me. We don’t have a house, or even our own car.”

Daiyu had lived with Lin Xian for over a month. She had heard that living together was the true test of a relationship; so far, they had been inseparable. Lin Xian’s only “flaw” was her emotional volatility. Daiyu knew the exams must have taken a toll. “We will have those things,” she promised, holding the girl tight. “We will have everything.”

Lin Xian took it as a sweet comfort, but the certainty in Daiyu’s voice calmed her.

…

The exams ended, but it still didn’t snow, so the trip to the Forbidden City was delayed. With nothing to do, Lin Xian began to feel homesick. There were still a few days before the official holiday started. She wanted to head south early for the warmth, but she couldn’t bear to leave Daiyu. She became listless.

Daiyu noticed something was wrong when the food started tasting different. Cooking often reflects one’s mood. Lin Xian was a good cook, but lately, the dinners she prepared were either too salty or too bland—almost like “dark cuisine.” Daiyu silently ate it all. One evening, while watching TV on the sofa, Lin Xian fell asleep in her arms, only to wake up screaming from a nightmare.

Seeing Daiyu beside her, she clung to her and sobbed. “Daiyu, I dreamed of my grandfather.”

Lin Xian’s parents hadn’t been around much when she was young; she was raised by her grandparents. Her grandfather had passed away shortly after she came out during her freshman year. Though it was a sudden heart attack, Lin Xian was trapped in eternal remorse. Perhaps the root of her depression was her inability to face herself and the self-imposed moral condemnation.

“I dreamed of home… the old city, the cement road by the sea with flowers in bloom. Grandpa was waiting for me in a straw hat. Then he found out I liked girls, and he suddenly fell into the sea.” Some memories were locked deep; without a call from the subconscious, they might have stayed forgotten.

“Go back to Dali,” Daiyu said after a long silence. She had spent a long time convincing herself to let go.

Lin Xian looked up in shock. In that moment, she felt exposed and naked in Daiyu’s eyes. Daiyu had known all along.

“Don’t you want to keep me here?” she asked, almost possessed by the thought.

Daiyu shook her head. “Xianxian, you’re homesick.”

…

On the day she left Beijing, a bitter wind howled. Her train was at 9:00 PM. Daiyu saw her off at the station. The girl waved her sleeves, her eyes full of the excitement of going home mixed with a sadness at leaving—the latter of which Daiyu chose to ignore.

Daiyu had wanted her to fly, but Lin Xian insisted on the long train ride. “The first time I came to Beijing was by train. This might be the last time I get to use a student discount.” Lin Xian knew that after graduation next summer, she would likely stay in the North.

Time on the train was long and slow. The signal flickered. At 10:00 PM, the dim lights went out, leaving only the rhythmic thrum of the tracks against the bed. In the silence, Lin Xian peeked out the window at the flickering lights of the plains. Suddenly, she missed Daiyu—missed her goodnight kiss, her scent, her soft murmurs. She wished Daiyu were right there beside her.

She fell into a deep sleep, fueled by longing. Meanwhile, miles away, Fang Daiyu returned to her empty house and sat on the sofa, instantly feeling regret.

The house felt hollow. She had lived alone for many years, so why did it feel so quiet? What people fear most is loss. If they had never been together, it would be fine, but in love, Daiyu realized she wasn’t generous at all. If she could do it again, she would have held Lin Xian tight and refused to let her go, even if she stayed listless.