The Immortal Venerable Went Mad After My Faked Death [Transmigration] - Chapter 2

Forced kissing… literally prying open the male lead’s mouth to force-feed him nutrient solution, only to have him wake up at that exact moment and catch him in the act…

Even though Ji Yunzhao had experienced countless worlds and completed innumerable missions, this was the first time he had encountered such an awkward situation. He wished he could grab the System, force open a spatial rift, and simply flee back to the main world.

Ji Yunzhao suddenly felt that it wouldn’t have been so bad to just let Yan Fulang stay hungry. After all, he was the protagonist; he wouldn’t die from being hungry for another two days.

It was because he put too much stock in this “retirement insurance” plan.

A miscalculation.

The strength restraining his wrist continued to increase. Ji Yunzhao frowned, a myriad of countermeasures flashing through his mind in an instant.

He remained calm and stepped back slightly, increasing the distance between himself and Yan Fulang.

He did not try to flee, nor did he make any attempt to break free.

Just then, a touch of pale golden sunlight shone into the cave, casting a soft glow on Ji Yunzhao’s straight, elegant nose and his long, thick eyelashes.

His long hair, held back only by a ribbon, was stirred slightly by the breeze, and the strands falling beside his temples brushed softly against the tear mole at the corner of his eye.

A very beautiful, yet very unfamiliar face.

Yan Fulang gazed deeply at Ji Yunzhao.

Immediately after, as if he had just woken up from a serious injury and was confused about the situation, the coldness and wariness in his peach-blossom eyes faded. Bewilderment, helplessness, and suppressed panic emerged all at once.

As for the nutrient solution that Ji Yunzhao had painstakingly fed him—which, for all intents and purposes, tasted like pig feed—it was all quietly spat out by Yan Fulang.

“What happened? Here… where is this?”

Having not eaten or drunk for a long time, the youth’s voice was somewhat hoarse.

Seeming to find the rest of his words difficult to say, he paused, and a faint blush suddenly surfaced on his profile.

“What were you, just now, doing to me…”

Yan Fulang was still young, and his features had not yet fully matured, but his future handsomeness was already evident. Those lustrous peach-blossom eyes held the youthful innocence and unrestrained, romantic flair unique to a boy.

The scrapes on his face did not hinder his picturesque appearance; instead, they made him even more… impossible to look away from.

There’s a reason why everyone loves a “battle-damaged” aesthetic.

Ji Yunzhao’s lips curled, and he gave a soft, inscrutable laugh.

[A-Tong, can I knock him out?]

Ji Yunzhao communicated very seriously with the System in his mind.

He thought about it, and among the many countermeasures, using force was the most effective.

System: [Um, I feel like, is that really necessary…?]

Before this sentence had even fully processed, the System saw that Ji Yunzhao had already raised his hand, moving with clean, swift precision, and struck the back of Yan Fulang’s neck heavily.

Those beautiful peach-blossom eyes, still filled with hazy mist, were forced shut by the external force.

The youth fell backward, but was steadily caught by Ji Yunzhao, who straightened his head and leaned him back against the stone wall.

The “unconscious” debuff began to refresh.

Ji Yunzhao noticed that Yan Fulang had been putting on an act, so his movements were not as gentle as they had been yesterday; they could even be described as clumsy.

Thud!

Yan Fulang’s head hit the stone wall heavily.

“Alright, A-Tong, it’s all handled.”

Ji Yunzhao let out a long sigh, patting the non-existent dust from his hands. “The male lead shouldn’t see my original face at this time; the plot cannot have bugs. Next, it’s up to you to erase this memory that shouldn’t exist.”

The System was silent for a moment, its tone hesitant. “Host, are you sure? Think about it carefully. It actually doesn’t matter if you don’t erase the male lead’s memory, right? Anyway, he won’t have a chance to see your face again, and he won’t be able to know who you are.”

“Aren’t you going to enter the persona of that little bird? When you follow the plot, you won’t change back into human form in front of him. My battery is low right now, and if I force the erasure of the male lead’s memory, there might be a… er, a small problem.”

“Probability?”

“50%.”

“Hmm… that’s fine, just half and half.” Ji Yunzhao didn’t hesitate. “Do it.”

Ji Yunzhao didn’t know that the probability of failure had been embellished by the System; it wasn’t 50%.

The System had rounded it off to protect itself. The real probability was 70%.

It was only a mere 20% difference; surely… it shouldn’t matter that much, right? Besides, the male lead’s head had already been “thudded” against the wall by the host like that; perhaps, without it even needing to act, the male lead would develop amnesia on his own.

The System thought to itself.

It shook its head, nimbly hopping over the debris and the campfire, stretched out its ice-cold cat paw, and plop—pressed it onto Yan Fulang’s face.

Perhaps erasing memory was a bit difficult; the “Cat Master” System was too diligent in its work. When it finished and retracted its paw, it left a clear cat-paw print behind.

Ji Yunzhao: “…”

Ji Yunzhao swiftly pressed an ice pack onto it.

“A-Tong, how much longer do I have to huddle in this cave taking care of the male lead?”

The moonlight was soft, spilling into the cave and casting a bright silver glow over the ground littered with gravel and mud.

Ji Yunzhao moved a small stool to the entrance of the cave, gazing out expectantly.

“It has been forty-two hours since the male lead fell off the cliff, forty-two whole hours!”

“When exactly is that reclusive master coming back? Can’t you detect his location? What good are you to me?! Is the master out on vacation? Could he have gotten lost while shopping? That shouldn’t be right; there’s no such thing as dementia in the cultivation world, is there?”

As Ji Yunzhao spoke, he stood up from the small stool, agitated.

Who could have guessed that forty-two hours ago, he had only wanted a luxurious bird’s nest?

Ji Yunzhao had begun to show signs of a “werewolf” howling at the moon, and on the verge of a breakdown, the System did not want to provoke a salt-fish forced to work and filled with resentment. It immediately chirped, deciding to pin the blame squarely on the Main God.

“Er, about that…” the System stammered. “I just received a notification from the Main God. There are two pieces of good news. Which one would you like to hear first?”

Important plot points were about to deviate, and there were two pieces of good news? As if.

Ji Yunzhao: “I’ll hear the bad news first.”

“Okay, Host.” The System twitched its ear tips and coiled its tail in front of it. “The Main God has confirmed that the cultivation master who was supposed to be living in seclusion at the bottom of the cliff cannot return on schedule. The male lead’s ‘Golden Finger Old Man’ needs someone to fill the vacancy; otherwise, the missing plot points will affect the male lead’s rise…”

“No.” Ji Yunzhao decisively refused.

He knew what the System was going to say next.

It was nothing more than the Main God feeling that his life in this world was too easy and wanting to give him more work, or perhaps trying to retaliate for his previous threats.

Maybe the “disappearance” of that master was even the Main God’s doing.

“Whoever likes this job can do it; I’m not doing it.”

The excess workload generated in just two days was already enough; he had been busy enough to drink four bottles of disgusting nutrient solution!

Even if the sky fell, he wouldn’t be coerced into overtime again!

“Tell the Main God to send… someone else over.” Ji Yunzhao sneered. “I think those dogs in the Human Resources department would be just fine. What’s wrong with them staying in the office every day? It’s time for them to do some field work and get some exercise.”

He still remembered the grudge of them claiming his performance review was unqualified during a surprise inspection!

The System shook its head and said, “Host, no one else is coming to the world we are currently in.”

Ji Yunzhao: “…”

It seems he hadn’t threatened them enough.

Did the Main God really have to single him out to pick on?

Ji Yunzhao immediately moved his small stool and sat back down next to Yan Fulang.

…This scene was somewhat familiar, and his host’s habit of looking down at the ground for things was also disturbingly familiar.

The System’s scalp immediately went numb, fearing that another bleeding wound would appear on the male lead’s neck. It scrambled over in two or three steps, forcibly squeezing between Ji Yunzhao and Yan Fulang.

The System very carefully pressed its paw onto Ji Yunzhao’s hand.

It weighed its tone and advised, “If there is no ‘Golden Finger,’ and the plot points are missing, it will affect the male lead’s growth, and the retirement life you dream of will…”

Ji Yunzhao lifted his eyes coldly. “Are you threatening me?”

The little black cat’s head shook like a rattle-drum. The System forced a smile and used its tail to make a “zipping mouth” gesture: How would it dare?

…Fine.

Ji Yunzhao sat up straight and stopped picking up stone shards.

“I know. But a luxurious bird’s nest is no longer enough. I want my original body.” Ji Yunzhao said each word clearly. “Permanent, unlimited, I want my own body back.”

As the plot of the book progressed, the authorization to use his original body had been opened, but it could not be used for long.

After all, Ji Yunzhao’s role here was “Yan Fulang’s beloved, round, chubby pet bird that couldn’t do anything but eat.” If he had to act like a bird, he couldn’t keep using a human shell; the book never said this bird could transform into a human.

If the Main God wanted him to accept new work, it wasn’t impossible; it could be discussed. But regardless of whether the workload was heavy or the difficulty was high, he would only do one job when he was kicked here, the Main God hadn’t said he had to do two people’s worth of work.

After hearing his demands, the System was silent for a long time. A large number of blue symbols flashed in its golden slit-pupils.

Ji Yunzhao knew it was communicating with the Main God, so he didn’t urge it. Bored while waiting, he started playing with the ends of Yan Fulang’s hair.

By the nineteenth time he used Yan Fulang’s hair as a broom to sweep dust off his clothes, the System came back online.

“Host, I have one piece of good news and another piece of good news. Which one would you like to hear first?”

Yan Fulang’s long hair, which had been hanging in front of him, was ruthlessly tossed aside by Ji Yunzhao, his slender fingers instead pinching the System’s triangular cat ears.

“Speak like a human.”

“The Main God has agreed; the new character information and accompanying plot have been sent and are currently being received.” The System said as if taking credit. “When I was negotiating with the Main God on your behalf, I discovered a loophole we can exploit.”

Ji Yunzhao blinked, interested.

“What loophole?”

“Host, you can play two roles in one natural day of the cultivation world… hey, hey, don’t glare at me!” The System shrank back for a second from Ji Yunzhao’s gaze. “You can do it like this: play the male lead’s good master during the day, and play the bird at night. There is no time conflict, and you can earn double the points.”

The rewards for working in the book world were points that could be used in the System Mall of the main world. Ji Yunzhao had worked hard for a period of time many years ago, but later became lazy and had just been collecting basic points; his savings were no longer high.

“Theoretically feasible.” Ji Yunzhao sat up straighter. “Is the nighttime only enough to walk through the bird’s plot? I need to sleep too.”

System: “Of course it’s enough. Anyway, the bird’s plot is just about acting cute and cuddling with the male lead. If you sleep with the male lead at night and focus on raising your favorability, that’s all you need, right?”

Ji Yunzhao felt this was very reasonable. “You’re right.”

He wouldn’t refuse earning extra points just by slacking off.

Presumably, Yan Fulang wouldn’t refuse to share a bed with a fluffy, round, super-cute little bird, would he?

After Ji Yunzhao and the System finished arranging the work of playing two roles, the new plot finished downloading.

Taking advantage of Yan Fulang still being asleep, the System directly projected a translucent, blue-glowing screen. Ji Yunzhao quickly scanned it and had a clear understanding of the situation.

The cultivation master’s character positioning was “the male lead’s master who dies early.” It was precisely because of the master’s death—and a fairly tragic one at that—that the male lead used hatred as his driving force and embarked on his “overpowered” rise to power.

He had to deliver manuals, provide equipment, give Yan Fulang the care of both a master and a father, and then, out of personal bias, be even better to Yan Fulang, raising him to be a “fluff-lover.” That way, after his main account went offline, his side account’s “salt-fish” (easy) life would be guaranteed!

“A-Tong, I have one more question.” Ji Yunzhao waved his hand to close the screen. “Does switching accounts consume battery?”

The System said solemnly, “Of course it consumes battery, so you must switch accounts on time. If it’s too early or too late, the data fluctuation will be too large, which will cause increased battery consumption. But don’t worry too much, Host; isn’t my battery linked to the plot progression and the male lead’s experience bar? If you cuddle more when you’re on the side account, my charging will also be faster. Perhaps switching accounts will be even more free in the future.”

“Fine, but for now, let’s set the automatic switching time.” Ji Yunzhao thought for a moment and said to the System, “Midnight every day.”

“Okay, Host. Do you need a rehearsal?”

“Hmm, while Yan Fulang is asleep, let’s do it now. Save some battery and try switching once.”

A moment later.

The white-clad youth’s figure suddenly became blurry, turning into wisps of smoke-like and fog-like matter, slowly falling to the ground and condensing into a small red-and-white bird.

The bird’s back, wings, the first part of its crown, and its tail feathers transitioned slowly from snow-white to red, with some pale golden feathers mixed in, bringing its own soft-glow special effect.

Ji Yunzhao walked around the cave, spread his wings, and flew a circle around the System and Yan Fulang.

“Character data transfer stable. Okay, switch back.”

As Ji Yunzhao spoke, he subconsciously pecked at the feathers on his chest, smoothing them out.

Mist spread in the cave again.

The second switch was faster than the first.

The face condensed first, followed by the upper body, arms, lower body, and legs.

However, the moment his legs appeared, Ji Yunzhao keenly caught movement on the stone wall.

The youth’s arm, which had been hanging at his side, suddenly moved, his knuckles curling very slightly.

Ji Yunzhao: “…”

Why is he waking up again?!

Ignoring his body that hadn’t finished switching, Ji Yunzhao floated in front of Yan Fulang at lightning speed and, the moment he woke up, raised his hand to cover his eyes.

A very faint, chilling fragrance swirled around them, and Yan Fulang’s vision was completely dark. Faint light passed through the narrow gaps between the fingers, reflecting hazy contours at the bottom of his eyes.

Chaotic thoughts slowly returned, and Yan Fulang’s tense body relaxed slightly.

But in an instant, just like their first meeting, he held Ji Yunzhao’s hand again, his long legs hooking Ji Yunzhao’s, using his strength to perform a skillful maneuver.

White mist retracted.

At the exact moment his body switch finished, Ji Yunzhao was pinned to the ground by the awakened Yan Fulang.