The Empress Tames the Tyrant - Chapter 68

Alicia sat motionless for a long time, watching the candlelight flicker on the table. While the presence of the Great Sage was deeply unsettling, the arrival of darkness after sunset made her heart ache with memories of the evenings she had spent with Cayenne.

“Your Majesty, shall I bring you a snack?”

Agnes spoke in a worried tone, but Alicia shook her head. Clutched in her fair hand was the letter Cayenne had sent earlier at sunset.

[To my wife, Alicia.]

It was the same greeting every time, yet she didn’t know why it felt so poignant whenever she saw it.

[There are so many things I want to say to you when we meet, but I cannot possibly write them all in words, so please understand.]

The honest, unpretentious letter was truly like him.

[My vow to protect our marriage has not changed, so I hope you do not worry too much or feel pained.]

When Alicia first met Cayenne after her high fever, she couldn’t imagine him having human emotions. That was partly due to the indifferent coldness she had received from him in her previous life.

But Alicia had been wrong.

[I will find a way to let the whole world know that you are my wife, and that no one can change that fact.]

The steady handwriting showed marks of being pressed firmly, as if revealing his resolve.

[We will meet soon.]

Cayenne’s firm words stabilized Alicia’s heart, which had been racing with anxiety.

[Waiting for that day, your husband, Cayenne.]

Alicia traced his signature several times with her fingertips. She didn’t know what kind of solution could exist in this situation, but if it was the Cayenne she knew, he would surely keep his promise.

However, as the time she was unable to meet him grew longer, she couldn’t help but feel depressed.

“I wish I could at least write a reply.”

At Alicia’s murmur, Agnes also wore a look of pity.

“His Majesty is simply worried that any harm might come to you, Your Majesty.”

As the Emperor, Cayenne could send a letter to anyone. Even if the recipient was an Empress whose marriage’s validity was in question, there was no one in this Empire he couldn’t message or command.

“I know. I understand that with my head.”

But Alicia was different. While she was currently maintaining her status as Empress through Cayenne’s affirmation, if the marriage vow was not considered valid, the mere act of sending a letter could lead to accusations of an illicit affair.

“But it’s so ridiculous. I am still here in the Empress’s palace, yet the idea that even sending a letter could be considered… a filthy affair is just horrifying.”

“Yes. It is the people who think such things who are filthy and horrifying.”

The Emperor had sent a strict command through the attendant delivering the letter that she must absolutely not reply. Agnes felt relieved that the Emperor was trying so hard to protect Alicia, yet she felt nothing but pity for their situation.

“I heard from the Seneschal that His Majesty is staying up all night looking for a way.”

Alicia nodded slowly. If it was the Cayenne she knew, he would desperately search for a solution, even postponing sleep and meals.

“I believe… that he is sincere.”

With that single belief, Alicia could endure this time with dignity. It was thanks to the trust Cayenne sent her that she could boldly declare herself the Empress of this Empire in front of the Great Sage of Lucan.

“But what about me?”

As the days without meeting Cayenne grew longer, her thoughts multiplied. If Alicia hadn’t pushed him away in the first place, if they had spent their first night normally like others while the marriage vow was valid, none of this would have happened.

“At first, it was to survive.”

When she thought she had met her death in her previous life, she became the twenty-year-old Alicia again. It was only later that she heard she had suffered from a high fever for several days.

“Because I thought he was ruthless, cold, and a man who wouldn’t give a shred of interest to this palace or to me.”

That was certainly the past Alicia knew. Until she met him again at twenty, the two were so distant that even Cayenne’s face was a faint memory.

“So… I planned to leave this palace.”

Agnes looked pained as she sat beside Alicia and stroked her shoulder.

“That is in the past. At the time, you had no choice but to think that way.”

The national wedding had been a mess, and the groom had noisily spurred his horse and left before the banquet even started. Simultaneously, Alicia became an incomplete Empress, living with bated breath in the Empress’s palace while enduring all sorts of mockery.

“When His Majesty unexpectedly returned, I put all my effort into winning his favor.”

The first thing Alicia did was erase Lucan’s disgusting teachings from her mind. However, she didn’t know that such a simple act would change Cayenne’s gaze. It was a moment where all the solitude of her past life felt hollow.

“In fact, His Majesty began to visit the Empress’s palace frequently. Of course, at first, he wasn’t seeking me, but a warm dinner table.”

The memory of preparing dinner banquets by using knowledge from her original life just to win his favor already felt like a long time ago.

“That might have been the case at first, but later, he came to see you, Your Majesty.”

Agnes was right. At some point, Cayenne began to steal glances at Alicia’s face across the silver candlesticks and was reluctant to leave even after finishing his meal.

“Yes. But even then… I was still thinking of leaving the palace. Since His Majesty was always in Rubeo, I thought that if I behaved a little, he might grant my request.”

Alicia’s goal from the start was to leave this suffocating palace and live leisurely and freely, without caring about anyone’s opinion.

“Whether it was a detached palace in a distant province or a small country house… I thought it would be fine as long as no one paid attention to me and I wasn’t uncomfortable.”

The past life she spent alone in the palace was too cold and lonely. The eyes watching Alicia, who had been ignored by the Emperor, were painful, and their mockery and criticism froze her heart.

“…Yes. I wanted to be deposed.”

Alicia closed her eyes tightly.

“I wished and wished for exactly this kind of situation. An opportunity where I could live in a quiet place as a deposed Empress without becoming a sinner.”

That was a wish she had desperately held since her previous life.

“Now my wish has come true.”

“Your Majesty…”

“But it happened at the moment I least wanted it. I don’t want that anymore.”

Alicia opened her eyes and sighed. Why was life so heartless? She had obtained what she so desired, but now that fact had become a misfortune.

“Do not blame yourself. Everyone desires happiness. The situation now is different from then. And your heart is different as well, Your Majesty.”

At some point, her heart fluttered and a smile spread whenever she heard news of Cayenne’s visit. She even welcomed the fact that his arrival time grew earlier as the days shortened with the approaching winter.

“Agnes, the night before our marriage vow became void… I was the one who pushed His Majesty away.”

Agnes’s eyes wavered at the unexpected words. She had expected the situation to some extent, but Alicia’s expression was too sorrowful now.

“Foolishly, I didn’t know my own heart.”

Perhaps she had been afraid. If she greedily accepted the emotions and warmth she felt for the first time and then found herself alone again, she didn’t have the confidence to go on living.

“And… I didn’t trust him.”

Cayenne always spoke the truth. Alicia also knew that what was contained in his black eyes was the truth. No, they were such earnest eyes that anyone would have known.

“Do you still not trust him?”

Agnes’s question cut through Alicia’s dark thoughts. The answer was clear.

“I want to believe.”

Cayenne was sincere. He was doing everything in his power to protect the Alicia who had pushed him away. If that wasn’t sincerity, what was?

“I already know he is sincere. That… isn’t something I need to believe, because it’s what he’s shown me.”

Cayenne had given so much to show her his heart. Perhaps it was because his instinct had unwittingly read Alicia’s fear.

“I’ve always had a greater desire to avoid misfortune than a desire to become happy.”

That was why his warmth was sweet yet frightening.

“I only ever thought of myself.”

If he turned cold again like in her previous life, it would be even more painful and agonizing because she had come to know that warmth.

“Do I, who was so cowardly, have the right to say I trust him now?”

“You already know. Trust doesn’t require a right or a reason,” Agnes said calmly. “It only requires a heart.”

At those words, Alicia’s eyes quickly welled up.

“Yes.”

How wonderful it would be if she could convey these words to Cayenne. That she was no longer testing him or trying to win his favor just to leave. That at some point, this marriage had become precious to her, just as it had to him.

[We will meet soon.]

Alicia’s blue eyes took in Cayenne’s writing. She had lived as an Empress for two lifetimes, but the moment had finally come where she could fully trust him.

“I believe.”

This life was entirely different from the last. Therefore, Alicia didn’t just know the future; she purely trusted the man named Cayenne and his heart.

“So, I will wait.”

She felt she finally understood that true trust is something that does not waver even in total darkness.

“Because His Majesty will soon visit the Empress’s palace just as before.”

As her heart solidified, the tears no longer pooled.

“We… just need to prepare to welcome His Majesty.”

Alicia finally found a smile. Agnes also nodded with a joyful heart.

The trust Alicia spoke of now was sincere. And to truly be able to trust someone meant that a person was that much stronger. It was a strength taught to her by Cayenne’s heated heart.