The Empress Tames the Tyrant - Chapter 43

Cayenne shifted his weight onto a precarious branch, trying to ensure his voice reached her clearly.

“Alicia.”

Through the leaves, he saw the window opened just a tiny crack. Every fiber of his being wanted to leap through that opening, but Alicia’s earlier, resolute tone held him back in a state of miserable restraint.

“There was a misunderstanding last night.”

His mind was a mess, and the same words kept looping in his head. After receiving Emma’s harsh lecture, he had finally realized just what kind of nonsense he had spewed.

“I, that is, I did not mean it in that way.”

Cayenne had always detested the way nobles spoke in circles, but in this moment, he envied their flowery eloquence.

“I am.”

A gust of wind shook the branch he leaned against. Fortunately, the night was dark enough that no one could see this undignified sight. His imperial majesty was gone, and his dignity as a man was faring little better.

“I truly knew nothing. I had no idea what the words I spoke to you in the garden yesterday implied.”

Pressed flat against the wall inside, Alicia’s eyes widened at his voice. Cayenne loathed admitting ignorance more than death itself. If it involved palace etiquette, he was the type to execute the one who brought it up.

“I did not know my mother’s journals carried such a meaning, and I knew even less of the palace customs.”

Yet here he was, admitting his ignorance over and over again.

“I only understood why you shed tears and why you pushed me away after the Head Maid explained it to me.”

If he could only clear the terrible misunderstanding he had left with Alicia, this level of hardship was trivial. Above all, he did not want to be the kind of man who tried to take her as casually as a dessert.

“I suppose knowing nothing cannot be an excuse for everything.”

Cayenne’s voice sounded lonely through the cold wind. Alicia held her breath, focusing every nerve on the sound of his words.

“I understand why you do not want to see me.”

Perhaps it was because she was listening through the gap in the window, but his voice sounded uncharacteristically dejected. A brief silence followed. Cayenne was struggling to find more to say, while Alicia, sensing the sudden stop, felt a surge of curiosity and a sudden impulse to look out.

“Then why did you come?” Alicia snapped toward the crack in the window, still pinned to the wall.

When Cayenne admitted his ignorance while in such an impossible position for an Emperor, her resentment began to dissolve. However, her pride as a woman was not yet ready to grant him passage.

“I wanted to clear the misunderstanding. And I wanted to apologize.”

Cayenne had no talent for weaving skillful lies. Even as he sat in that undignified position in the tree, his only strategy was to say exactly what was on his mind.

“I know. It was a terrible mistake.”

Regret was thick in his voice.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“No, I. That is.”

It was difficult to continue the conversation, but he could not retreat like this.

“I told you I could not see you, Your Majesty. Yet you always find a way to do exactly as you wish.”

Are men naturally this selfish, she wondered, or is it just Cayenne?

“I admit it. Even if you hate the sight of me, I could not stand for this misunderstanding to last a moment longer. No, I could not bear it for a single second.”

“Only a day has passed, yet you speak as if it has been a year.”

Alicia’s words had a sharp edge. Had he not always made her wait as a matter of course? It was true in her previous life, and in this life, nearly a year had passed since the wedding. If Alicia had not regressed and changed first, that waiting would still be going on now.

“I only wished to clear the air and offer my apology.”

Alicia deliberately did not respond. Now that she knew the source of the misunderstanding, the shame of the previous night had vanished, but she could not simply accept his apology as if it were a royal favor.

“And there is one thing I want to make clear.”

Cayenne continued steadfastly despite her silence.

“I enjoy the time I spend with you. Even if it was not so before, it is so now.”

He wondered what kind of expression Alicia was wearing. He had never realized that not being able to see someone’s face could be this agonizing.

“And I consider you to be someone precious.”

Her breath hitched, and her heart began to pound frantically. Contrary to Cayenne, Alicia felt relieved that they were not facing each other.

“Last night was a misunderstanding. I do not demand such shameless things from you. Not now, and not in the future.”

Alicia let out a long, silent sigh. While his words brought relief, she felt a strange, lingering emptiness. To call it “shameless” felt as though he was denying their marriage altogether.

“Of course, I am a man, so if the day comes that I desire a woman in that way, that woman will be you.”

Cayenne was honest, perhaps too honest. Such words were only possible because they were close yet hidden from each other’s sight.

“But in any case, I do not have the slightest intention of treating you like a late-night dessert.”

Sometimes ignorance is a sin, for not knowing cannot be a perfect defense. That was why Alicia did not want to forgive him immediately upon hearing it was a mistake.

“I do not expect a few words to compensate for my thoughtless behavior.”

Surely, that would be the case, she thought. It has to be.

“I do not know if this is sufficient compensation, but I will give you all decision-making power regarding our marriage.”

To hear the words “our marriage” come from Cayenne’s lips. Alicia was desperately curious about his expression, but she bit her lip and restrained herself, unwilling to show him her tear-streaked face.

“Know that I always respect you.”

That was a sentiment Alicia had never received before. Then again, everything Cayenne had shown her since her change was something that had never existed before.

“If you ever feel the heart to forgive my ignorance, may I wait for another invitation to dine?”

Cayenne’s voice still carried a trace of gloom. With the addition of the lonely whistling wind, Alicia felt her resolve weakening further.

“It might take some time.”

Alicia finally answered. Her voice was tart, but it was no longer as cold as before.

“I can wait.”

His low voice rang out with determination.

“Just as you have done for the past year.”

But he quickly added another sentence.

“That is not to say, absolutely not, that I wish for it to take that long.”

He sounded so urgent that Alicia almost let a smile slip. Hearing him speak in a rushed voice like a clumsy boy, she could easily imagine the flustered look on his face.

“Is… that so?”

The wind blowing through the small crack in the window was biting. Alicia decided it was time to send the pitiful Emperor hanging from the tree back home.

“Yes.”

Even at that one cold word, Cayenne’s face brightened.

“But not today, so please go back now.”

Cayenne nodded vigorously before realizing she couldn’t see him and opened his mouth to speak.

“I will wait. Tomorrow, the day after, and even after that.”

“Please, go back now.”

When Alicia made the request again, he could say no more.

“Then, I wish you a good night as well.”

Not long after Cayenne offered his farewell, there was a sound of a tree branch shaking violently. Soon after, his faint scent that had drifted through the window vanished completely.

The next morning, Alicia woke up and let out a hollow laugh, recalling what felt like an impossible dream.

“Your Majesty, have you passed the night without incident?”

As Agnes curtsied, the maids behind her followed suit and drew back the curtains.

“I had a rather ridiculous dream. Or rather, an impossible one.”

Alicia sat up with a bitter smile.

“The wind was exceptionally fierce last night,” Agnes remarked, glancing out the window as she brought the washbasin. A large branch from the tree in front of the window had snapped clean off. “Look at that. The Chief Attendant was in such a fuss this morning.”

“Ah.” Alicia’s mouth hung open.

“It wasn’t even a typhoon, yet such a sturdy branch broke. How very strange.”

The branch that reached toward the window looked pitiful, as if someone had snapped it off. It was as if a man of massive stature had been perched upon it.

“So, what kind of dream was it?”

It hadn’t been a dream. Alicia was suddenly wide awake. Every word of Cayenne’s voice that she had heard through the crack in the window came back with startling clarity.

“I don’t know,” Alicia murmured blankly.

“You must still be half-asleep.”

Agnes, unaware of the situation, laughed as she spoke, but Alicia’s gaze remained fixed on the air.

“No, it wasn’t a dream.”

The thing the Alicia of her previous life had wanted so desperately. The thing she had never seen even a glimmer of hope for. The thing she had vowed never to even hope for in this life.

“I might have, achieved a dream.”

Last night, Cayenne had left more than just an explanation and an apology. He said he would respect her and gave her all decision-making power over their marriage. He gave her the heart she had wanted so much, and he did so with a surprising, hollow ease.

“Oh dear. You truly are still half-asleep.”

Agnes’s smile and the touch of the lukewarm water told her that everything was reality. Above all, the snapped branch outside the window was the proof.

“Perhaps.”

Alicia’s blue eyes lingered on the broken branch for a long time, thinking of the man who had surely stood there in the dark of night.