The Eldest Brother is Handsome but Sick. - Chapter 32

The Secret Exchange

“Senior Brother doesn’t want to listen to the lecture, why not look back at me?”

Yan Jin stared at the lifelike little drawing of a person on the crumpled paper. He raised an eyebrow, let out a couple of “hmph-hmph” sounds, and dipped his brush in ink to write two large characters beside it: Childish.

The paper ball was quickly thrown back.

Su Huai: “What are you thinking about? Or are you sleepy?”

Yan Jin thought of that jade-carved little “ice-snow dumpling” from his memory. His heart softened, and he mimicked Su Huai’s style by drawing a few strokes on the paper: “Thinking about a little snowball.”

Su Huai didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Beside the latest line of text, Yan Jin had drawn a circle that wasn’t particularly round, topped with a few ink dots. It looked more like a boiled tangyuan that had burst. This man was clearly a skilled artist, yet he insisted on playing around like this.

He thought for a moment and felt this was very “Yan Jin.” Thus, as a response, he added a little snowman and a puppy wagging its tail.

As a result, the paper now displayed a dumpling, a snowman, and a dog inexplicably radiating a harmonious “family of three” vibe.

Yan Jin nearly burst out laughing, holding it in for a long time before finally regaining his composure. He thought for a bit and decided he wanted to tell Su Huai about that old memory from Yangzhou, wondering if the boy still remembered it.

He weighed his words for a moment and began to write: “When we were young…”

The tip of the brush moving across the paper stopped abruptly. The ink bled into the rice paper, creating a small, dark blotch.

The classroom fell into a silence so deep a needle drop could be heard.

Yan Jin: “…” Why do I suddenly feel so guilty?

His classmates were all sitting upright, eyes fixed forward. Yan Jin sensed trouble; he looked up stiffly and met a pair of sharp eyes.

“The student in the very back row.” Master Liu’s voice wasn’t loud, but it carried immense pressure. “You come and answer the question I just asked.”

Yan Jin instinctively stole a glance toward Su Huai.

“What are you looking at?” Master Liu’s voice suddenly dropped an octave. “I mean you!”

Yan Jin: “…”

Crap. What did the Master just ask? I didn’t hear a single word.

Yan Jin crumpled the paper ball into his palm and stood up. Under the gaze of the entire room, he remained silent for a long time, his heart weeping.

This pressure of being called on by a teacher, aaaaaah!

Since things had come to this, he steeled his heart and put on his most obedient and innocent expression, softening his voice: “To answer the Master: this student accidentally bumped his head this morning and is currently suffering from tinnitus and partial deafness. I didn’t hear clearly. May I ask the Master to ask once more?”

This was a trick he used often as a child; combined with his deceptive face, it usually prompted people to invent excuses for him and let him off the hook.

Unfortunately, Master Liu was a stubborn old pedant. He slammed the desk with a thunderous bang and roared: “Can’t answer, can you? You! The one next to him!”

The one next to Yan Jin was exactly Su Huai.

Another period of awkward silence followed.

Yan Jin: “…” Oh-ho. Game over. Senior and Junior Brothers caught together.

He took a deep breath, straightened his sleeves, and squeezed out a smile that could be called “composed,” attempting to shift the blame: “Master, please calm your anger. Why not ask the classmate in front of me? I saw him listening very intently; surely he has some high insights.”

The brother sitting in front of him frantically stuffed a romance novel into the depths of his desk drawer and turned to look at Yan Jin with a face full of abject terror.

Yan Jin returned an encouraging smile. Sorry, brother better you than me.

Soon, the classroom had three “wooden clubs” standing in place.

Master Liu was furious: “All of you, go stand at the door! Do not re-enter the classroom until you have repented!”

Thus, the three “wooden clubs” filed out and moved to the corridor.

The Escape to East Market

It was not as warm outside as it was in the classroom; the freezing wind of the snowy landscape was quite miserable.

The brother whom Yan Jin had “victimized” beat his chest and stamped his feet: “My romance novel! I just paid someone to buy it for me! I haven’t even seen Young Master Hua get together with his Junior Brother yet!”

After speaking, he shot a look of extreme resentment at Yan Jin and Su Huai, huffily flicked his sleeve, and moved to the other side of the pillar, vowing to draw a clear line between himself and the “culprits.”

Yan Jin and Su Huai looked at each other for a moment and suddenly laughed in unison.

“Are we really going to stand here the whole time?” Yan Jin raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Su Huai shifted closer, his shoulder and arm lightly brushing against Yan Jin’s. “I heard the servants at the Marquis Estate say the braised goose at the East Market is a delicacy,” he said with a feigned air of casualness, as if merely mentioning it. “Shall we go try some together?”

As he spoke, he raised his hand to tuck in the collar of Yan Jin’s cloak and carefully pulled up the hood. The fur trim made Yan Jin’s face look even more fair and exquisite, leaving only a pair of bright, smiling eyes visible, staring unblinkingly at the person inches away.

The gaze was too focused and too direct; it made Su Huai’s ears burn, and his movements slowed down unconsciously. Yan Jin enjoyed his attentive service, watching Su Huai’s eyelashes flutter downward as a crimson flush crept from the boy’s neck up to his cheeks.

This man clearly scouted the best places to eat and play in the city long ago, yet he insists on acting like he’s just bringing it up in passing.

A surge of full, warm emotion hit Yan Jin’s heart. He suddenly reached out and grabbed Su Huai’s wrist.

“Let’s go!” he said, his voice carrying an irrepressible cheer. He pulled the man and turned around. “Target: East Market! Set off!”

The cold wind whistled past his ears, but it couldn’t disperse the rising heat in his cheeks. Yan Jin pulled Su Huai for a few steps, then gave a light, quick skip forward, causing the hem of his cloak to draw a happy arc.

He hummed softly: “Happy~”

The East Market Feast

Although New Year’s Eve had passed, the sky still grew dark very early. The shops on both sides of the street had lit their lanterns early, their warm yellow glow connecting the most prosperous parts of the Capital like two winding rivers. They flowed along with the coming and going of the crowds, dispelling a bit of the evening chill.

Yan Jin held a bag of freshly roasted chestnuts; the paper bag was warm against his palms. He peeled one, and the fragrance immediately filled his nose.

“Want a taste?” he asked naturally, holding it to Su Huai’s mouth.

Su Huai leaned down and took it from his hand. His fingertip inadvertently brushed against Yan Jin’s soft lips; both of them paused for a second before continuing to walk as if nothing had happened.

Only, Yan Jin imperceptibly rubbed his fingertip, feeling that the slight wet sensation was even hotter than the roasted chestnuts.

They walked and bought things along the way. Yan Jin rarely had time to wander, let alone on a day where he was free of all burdens.

He found everything novel. He stopped to look at sugar figurines, leaned in when he smelled freshly baked shortcakes, and even found the bingtang hulu (candied haws) on the roadside more delicious than usual, unable to resist buying a stick.

“You’re supposed to be a young master of high standing who has seen the world; why are you acting like Li Dasheng?”

Su Huai watched him holding the sparkling stick of candied haws, his eyes reflecting the lantern light. He couldn’t help but laugh, though his hands were steadily carrying various oil-paper bundles.

“What do you know?” Yan Jin took a bite of a candied haw and sighed in satisfaction. “The supreme flavors of the human world are often found within these marketplace alleys.”

The Chasing Kiss

By the time they returned to the Marquis of Dingyuan’s estate, the sky was pitch black, yet both of them lingered outside by unspoken agreement.

Suddenly, footsteps came from nearby. Yan Jin, already lost in thought, was startled and instinctively pushed Su Huai into a corner.

They stood in that secluded spot, and Yan Jin felt his cheeks and ears burning fiercely.

Yan Jin said: “You’re carrying too many things; why don’t you give me some?”

Su Huai shot him a glance. Yan Jin was looking at the sky and the ground anywhere but at him. He hadn’t said a word about this during the entire walk; saying it only now that they had arrived was clearly a diversion. Su Huai thought for a moment and gave him a few.

As a result, both of them now had one hand free.

Suddenly, Su Huai’s eyes widened. He looked down; his hand was being held tightly by Yan Jin.

The faint glow from outside mixed with the light of the snow and spilled into the corner, casting a shadow on Su Huai’s profile. It completely softened his usual cool expression. His eyes reflected the flickering warmth and a small, somewhat panicked version of Yan Jin.

The air seemed to stagnate, leaving only the sound of their rapid breathing and the heartbeats thumping in their chests.

Yan Jin bit his lip and looked up at Su Huai, who was inches away. His gaze swept from the boy’s eyes down to his lips.

The faint, sweet scent of roasted chestnuts seemed to linger there; the soft sensation of his fingertip brushing them earlier became vivid once more, making his throat feel dry.

He felt as though he were bewitched or perhaps the heart-fluttering emotions accumulated throughout the day, and even longer, had finally found an outlet.

To hell with restraint.

He suddenly stood on his tiptoes. With a bit of desperation and a lot of clumsiness, he tilted his head up and leaned in.

It wasn’t a proper kiss.

It was more like a hurried, determined collision. The moment their lips met, both of them froze. The sensation was softer and hotter than imagined, carrying the heat of each other’s breath.

One touch, and they broke apart.

Yan Jin didn’t even dare to linger. He stepped back immediately, his heart racing so hard it felt like it would explode, his face red enough to drip blood. He lowered his eyelashes, not daring to look at Su Huai’s expression, staring only at the boy’s slightly heaving chest and the neck that was similarly flushed crimson.

Silence spread in the corner, but it was no longer the previous awkwardness; instead, a tense and sweet atmosphere filled the air.

Suddenly, a cool hand gently tilted up his chin.

Yan Jin was forced to look up into Su Huai’s eyes. They no longer held their usual calm and self-control; instead, they were swirling with an undercurrent he couldn’t quite identify but that made his heart beat even faster. For a moment, Yan Jin actually thought Su Huai was going to cry.

“What was that… just now?” Su Huai’s voice was incredibly low and husky, carrying a tremor he couldn’t hide.

Yan Jin bit his lip, the warmth of the other man seemingly still lingering there. He steeled his heart and said in a small, “breaking-the-pot” voice: “I grew tired of what I ate today and wanted to try something else… to cleanse my palate.”

Su Huai’s eyes darkened abruptly. He stopped speaking and simply leaned down. This time, he accurately and unmistakably covered the two lips that were slightly pursed from tension.

Unlike the fleeting touch of a moment ago, this was a kiss in the truest sense.

At first, it was just a lingering friction of lips testing, adapting to each other’s rhythm and temperature. Su Huai’s hand slid from his chin to the side of his neck, his thumb unconsciously stroking the sensitive skin behind Yan Jin’s ear, sending a series of fine shivers through him.

The corners of Yan Jin’s eyes turned a sudden red. Having never experienced anything like this, he wanted to retreat, but Su Huai followed and kissed him again.

Their breathing intertwined, carrying the mingled floral scents from their bodies. The dim light of the corner enveloped their overlapping silhouettes, isolating them from the world outside. Nothing remained except their heartbeats, growing louder and louder in unison.

After a long while, Su Huai pulled back slightly, though his forehead remained pressed against Yan Jin’s. Their scorched breaths continued to weave together.

Yan Jin’s eyes were shimmering and wet, filled with a hazy mist.

His fingers gripped Su Huai’s collar tightly. His throat was tight, and his voice was raspy:

“Do you want to hear my true heart?”