The Eldest Brother is Handsome but Sick. - Chapter 20

The Impasse

The street vendor downstairs was still hawking candied fruits, but Yan Jin no longer had the appetite to eat them. He sat before Su Huai, silently pulling out the acupuncture needles, his heart inevitably filled with a touch of dejection.

This was a type of gloom he had never experienced before. It was different from the grief he felt when his father passed; the current emotion weighed on him in a way he didn’t know how to express. If he had to describe it, it felt much like the frustration of a childhood wish that remained unfulfilled for far too long.

“Is your mind truly made up to leave?” Yan Jin’s fingertips repeatedly twirled a needle. He was about to say more when Su Huai uttered a simple “Mm,” causing Yan Jin to suddenly fall into a state of helplessness.

This was the first time in all these years that Su Huai had explicitly stated he wanted to leave him. Everything had been fine just a moment ago, he had even been thinking of tricking the boy into joining the Yan family genealogy.

“Why?” Yan Jin asked, but as expected, he received no answer.

What should I do?

Seventeen or eighteen-year-old boys had the most complex thoughts, and Su Huai was even more extreme in that regard. He couldn’t be persuaded, yet he couldn’t be scolded. Even when Su Huai had been at his angriest years ago, he had never said anything about leaving…

What? Having seen so many people and things, you no longer want me as your Senior Brother?

Yan Jin’s internal state had shifted from the anger caused by Su Huai and Lin Jiebai running away to a sense of bewilderment that Su Huai still wanted to leave even after seeing him.

In his desperation, he began to “seek a doctor blindly in an emergency,” recalling the deed of sale he had made Su Huai sign years ago. He felt a sudden urge to find another one whether through force or any other means, as long as Su Huai signed it, he would always come back no matter where he went.

But where could he find such a thing at this critical moment?

“I don’t agree.” Yan Jin’s brow furrowed tightly. He stared down at the needle, wishing he could prick himself a few times to wake up. “Follow me back to the Yan family. Didn’t you want to see the world? The Yan family can show you much more. Once the matters are settled at the end of the year, we will return to the Hall of Three Lives together.”

As he spoke, he reached for Su Huai’s wrist, intending to set off for Yangzhou immediately. However, just as he was about to make contact, his hand met empty air

Su Huai had dodged.

In an instant, Yan Jin was frozen in place.

“This was my idea; it has nothing to do with Senior Brother Lin. If you want to blame someone, blame me.” Su Huai glanced at him and walked to the door, his hand resting on the handle as if to open it.

Suddenly, a massive force slammed into him from behind. The person used their entire body weight to pin him against the door. Su Huai’s head struck the wood unexpectedly; he let out a sharp “hiss,” wanting to tell Yan Jin that this was dangerous.

However, the words caught in his throat catching so hard he couldn’t breathe, causing his entire upper body to ache.

Because Yan Jin was crying.

He looked up directly at Su Huai, biting his lower lip hard. His eyes, usually full of mirth, were brimming with tears. A single drop fell, directly shattering the heart Su Huai had fought so hard to harden.

“Yan Jin, don’t cry.”

Su Huai gently stroked the corner of Yan Jin’s reddened eye, and scalding tears followed his fingertips to fall into his palm.

Why are you crying?

Su Huai looked at him. Stop crying. If he kept crying, Su Huai would believe that Yan Jin truly couldn’t live without him. If that were the case, he could use his “leaving” to control this man forever, ensuring that Yan Jin only had him only him, forever.

His fingertips tightened slightly. Yan Jin squinted, but still looked at him through a blur of tears.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Su Huai’s throat shifted. He reached out to cover Yan Jin’s eyes.

“Bullshit! I’m your Senior Brother, and you’re my Junior Brother! What I say goes! Is looking at you going to cost you a piece of your flesh?” Yan Jin slapped Su Huai’s hand away and turned his head to wipe his tears. “You must give me a reason today, or else don’t even think about stepping out that door.”

“Is it because I left without saying goodbye? Your Senior Brother is apologizing to you. Don’t be angry anymore, okay? Or did I do something else wrong?”

His voice took on a pleading tone: “Tell me, and I’ll fix it, okay?”

The sound was so wheedling that Su Huai sucked in a sharp breath. His heartache instantly transformed into a fire rising from the depths of his soul. He shoved Yan Jin away and said sternly, “You don’t need to appease me like this!”

He had clearly overestimated himself, thinking that after a few months apart, he could truly convince himself to face those “filthy” thoughts calmly. Who would have thought that the moment he touched the man, he would lose control, wanting to take him away and lock him up—ideally forcing him to never leave his side.

This was a desire accumulated over years, erupting after Yan Jin’s repeated departures. Yet this person remained completely oblivious, even putting on this act of admitting fault and being indulgent. However, the more indulgent Yan Jin was, the more Su Huai wanted to push boundaries, fueling the darkness in his heart and driving him to do more “out-of-line” things like a man possessed.

He had to leave this person.

At the very least, he had to let himself mature enough so as not to hurt him.

“Stay away from me,” Su Huai said.

Without looking back, he returned to his own room.

The Master of Hearts

The door opened and closed, and a gust of wind blew in, making Yan Jin shiver.

He sat blankly on a nearby chair. Due to the previous struggle, his collar had loosened slightly, and a palm-sized sachet fell out.

Yan Jin came to his senses and picked it up. Inside was the red string threaded with jade beads. Fearing it would be worn down during travel, he had kept it close to his body.

“System…” His gaze fell on the red string, unmoving and looking somewhat dazed.

The System, having witnessed the entire scene, really wanted to “ship” them, but Yan Jin was clearly quite sad. She could only write furiously while pondering how to comfort him.

“Cough, well… teenagers have a rebellious phase during puberty, don’t take it to hear ”

“System!”

He interrupted her before she could finish, and his call was so full of high-spirited emotion that it sounded nothing like the dejection she expected.

“Aaaaah, help me, System! Did you see that? Did you see that?”

The System’s pen stopped. “See what?”

“Su Huai’s expression just now it was so cute!” Yan Jin stood up abruptly. His headache was gone, his back didn’t ache, and his tears vanished instantly. His mind was filled with Su Huai’s face from a moment ago; the man looked angry, but the corners of his eyes were drooping he looked utterly dejected and incredibly sad.

System: “?” You don’t seem quite normal.

“Oh my god!” Yan Jin continued to scream in a low voice, stomping his feet in excitement. “It looked exactly like the expression my Little White Plum makes when she’s whimpering and acting spoiled!”

The System recalled the scene: “!” How on earth did you link that to acting spoiled!

She blinked, sensing that something was off, and wanted to warn him. However, Yan Jin was completely immersed in his own imagination.

The anger in his heart vanished. He tidied himself up from head to toe and regained his spirit. “Alright, what do you do when a child is having a tantrum? You coax them.”

The System was bewildered: “You aren’t sad? Then just now…?”

“Just now?” Yan Jin hummed a nameless tune and said naturally, “I was faking it. Su Huai is a man with a hard mouth but a soft heart; he’s easier to handle if I cry.”

With that, he walked straight to the door of the “tantrum-throwing child.” Regardless of whether the person inside was willing, he shoved the door open.

With a “thud,” the door opened.

No normal door would make that kind of sound when pushed. Yan Jin paused, blinked, and looked down, suddenly bursting into laughter.

He had expected Su Huai to lock the door, so he had used quite a bit of force. He didn’t expect that the poor kid was actually crouching right by the door. When the door opened, it sent him sprawling to the ground.

This scene felt familiar.

Yan Jin remembered that one winter, just after he had returned to the Hall of Three Lives from negotiating medicinal prices with Boss Chen, he had been caught by Su Huai while crouching at the door of the accounting room.

Now, their positions were reversed.

Hmm… what happened after that back then?

Ah, right!

Yan Jin spread his arms and leaned down. As he expected, he saw a look of surprise on Su Huai’s face, identical to his own back then.

Ah, this wonderful brotherly affection!

Yan Jin didn’t have the strength to hoist the boy up, so he simply crouched down in front of Su Huai. Two “balls,” one large and one small, stared at each other in the doorway.

Su Huai seemed not to have expected Yan Jin to come back. He froze and could only scoot backward inch by inch. However, in the next second, he felt a gentle pat on his head.

“You…” Su Huai’s eyes widened in confusion. Usually poised in most situations, he rarely showed such a look, which added a bit of youthful air appropriate for his age.

The laughter in Yan Jin’s eyes grew. He reached out to cup Su Huai’s face, rubbing it like he was petting Little White Plum, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Why run? Can’t you speak properly? If you want to act spoiled and want me to care, just say it. I don’t bite,” Yan Jin laughed.

Su Huai felt dizzy. “…You found out?”

Yan Jin nodded. “Of course.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not angry.” Yan Jin rubbed his head and took the opportunity to scratch his chin before saying happily, “Though your display was quite frightening what with the fainting and the cold face it doesn’t even count as a tantrum. At most, it’s… acting spoiled.” After all, even when Little White Plum threw a fit, she would tear the roof off; she would never look so aggrieved.

Su Huai’s heart raced like thunder. He wanted to say something but found himself unable to speak due to nerves. He cleared his throat and asked, “Then you…”

“As for me…” Yan Jin tilted his head to think for a moment and said solemnly, “If you need, I can treat you as my second ‘Little White Plum.’ If you want to act spoiled, go ahead. You don’t have to worry about your dignity.”

The surging heart in Su Huai’s chest died instantly. “……………………”

He knew it. Even after everything, Yan Jin was still Yan Jin capable of saying things that would give a person a headache.

With this disruption, all the guilt, heartache, and fluttering emotions vanished without a trace. Su Huai woodenly moved Yan Jin’s hand away, stood up, and said, “I’m going to pack my things. We leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

Yan Jin blinked. “Where to?”

Su Huai smiled and uttered the coldest words: “The Northwest.”

Yan Jin: “?”

Su Huai continued to smile: “With Senior Brother Lin.”

Yan Jin: “???”

Su Huai smiled as warmly as a spring breeze: “I won’t return for three years.”

With that, he took a step back and slammed the door shut right in Yan Jin’s face.

Yan Jin: “?????”

Did I say those things just so you could take a mile?

“Su Huai, let me in!” He grit his teeth and leaned against the door, scratching it with his nails to create an unbearable sound that would force the boy out.

A voice came from inside: “No.”

Yan Jin laughed in anger. “System, can you believe he’s shutting me out just to go with Lin Jiebai? This is even more infuriating than when he said he wanted to leave me!”

The System covered its ears. I’m not listening, I’m not listening… I don’t want to talk to a “closeted” fool.

The door remained unmoving. Yan Jin had no other choice, so he rolled his eyes and decided to strike where it hurt.

He leaned against the door and said in a long, drawn-out tone, “Su Huai, I’m so weak… bah, my head hurts so much!”

There was an immediate movement inside. He opened one eye to peek; the door opened.

Yan Jin’s eyes crinkled into a smile. “Yo, Junior Brother. Going shopping? Let’s share a carriage!”