The Divorce Lawyer Is Very Hard To Flirt With - Chapter 16

Chapter 16: I Am Very Sorry

“The navigation says we are almost at your house.”

“Mmm…” Ying Zhi’an hummed, then followed the chorus again.

Her voice was actually very pleasant, and her pitch was accurate. Song Xidan thought her singing was quite melodious, but Ying Zhi’an only sang the chorus line, and after singing it, she murmured, “How good it must be, to be able to drift aimlessly around…”

Song Xidan heard her. Being young, she was not yet aware of the complexity in Ying Zhi’an’s tone, so she only said, “Sister Zhi’an, why don’t you take a break after this busy period?”

Ying Zhi’an smiled, a very relaxed smile. She looked a little more sober, but was still affected by the alcohol. There was some truth to the saying that wine loosens the tongue. “It’s not about taking a break or not. As long as a person is alive, they can never achieve true freedom. No matter how successful or powerful you are, when life’s journey takes a turn, you must give up some happiness and shed a part of yourself. See how well this song is written—like-minded, mutually supportive, and unrestrained. It’s an unreal ideal.”

“Like marriage?”

“It’s the least like marriage. I’m not just talking about romantic love. All relationships in the world, even kinship, involve rights and obligations. No human relationship can truly be completely honest and selfless, and marriage is the most extreme case. Many people fear pain in marriage, so they choose limited honesty and openness.”

“Then what kind of love is that?”

“Well, what do you think love is?”

It was late, and there were few cars on the elevated highway. Song Xidan’s gaze was cast toward the end of the road, and her voice seemed to carry a hint of ancient wisdom. “I don’t think love arises because one needs love. Rather, it’s that I need to love someone else. It might be self-expansion. Choosing one person means going all in.”

“All in?”

“Mhm. I know human energy is limited. Whether it’s love or anything else, it’s impossible to have that kind of crazy affection for everyone. But love is different from other things. Weighing pros and cons and repeatedly deliberating—that’s not love.”

Song Xidan was very serious. Her free-spirited moment after college graduation was like her boundless madness, but she wasn’t that shallow. Unrestrained indulgence without self-discipline would be like a reckless truck, which was not the freedom she sought. So, she returned to the crowd and started practicing self-restraint.

Although life and living were like this, love was the purest thing in her heart. So, she continued, “Life is short. Innocent romance is important, but a limited life can possess infinite love. The moment that person appears, they will be the most magnificent and special existence in my life, and I will give all my love to that person without reservation.”

She then remembered what Ying Zhi’an had said and emphasized, “True love has no obligations, only rights.”

Ying Zhi’an tilted her head to look at her, as if she understood a very different side of this young woman at that moment. The girlishness lingered, and the innocence and passion were undeniable. But perhaps all young people were like this, proudly claiming they would dedicate everything to love. “When I heard you say ‘all in,’ I was going to say that the more love you invest, the greater the risk you’ll have to endure. Now, it seems highly likely you’ve never been in a relationship.”

“I haven’t. She just hasn’t appeared yet.” Song Xidan pursed her lips, with the stubbornness of a young girl. “Sister Zhi’an, do you disagree with my point of view? Do you think I have no right to speak because I haven’t been in a relationship?”

Ying Zhi’an chuckled. She disliked giving unsolicited advice, and she didn’t like to casually dismiss anyone. Everyone was an independent individual, and guidance or advice carried a hint of arrogance. She disliked arrogance, so even in her inebriated state, she replied, “Hahaha, why would you think that? I think what you said is very right, and you have experienced another kind of beauty, perhaps even more beautiful than love. As for love, I understand it even less than you do. It’s just that I think all love is not necessarily romantic love. All human love should be interconnected. I really like a poem by Kahlil Gibran. You should look it up when you get back.”

Ying Zhi’an genuinely believed that she and Song Xidan were equals, and Song Xidan must have seen more beautiful things during her time on the grassland than she had.

However, Song Xidan was still young and preferred clear-cut “clashes” and “answers.” In the face of Song Xidan’s sincere eyes, this response naturally seemed somewhat evasive. She just felt that Ying Zhi’an didn’t want to continue the topic and was just saying something casually.

For a moment, the car fell silent.

Fortunately, they had reached the entrance of Ying Zhi’an’s apartment complex.

Ying Zhi’an had just finished speaking and was about to say the name of the poem, but when the car stopped, she sobered up a bit. Her steps as she got out were not erratic.

She didn’t let Song Xidan get out. She just had her roll down the driver’s side window. She leaned against the window, clasping Song Xidan’s wrist with one hand, and with the index finger of the other hand, she traced the name of the poem onto Song Xidan’s palm. “Remember to look it up when you go back. I’m going now. You can drive the car away. I’ll take a taxi to the firm tomorrow.”

With that, she picked up her bag and walked toward the apartment complex, regardless of whether Song Xidan had memorized the poem’s name.

The residual warmth of Ying Zhi’an’s fingertip lingered in Song Xidan’s palm, but that faint warmth was like a lit spark, racing along Song Xidan’s bloodstream straight to her heart.

So, she didn’t leave immediately but stared intently at Ying Zhi’an’s back.

Lawyer Ying’s back looks so nice.

This thought surfaced in Song Xidan’s mind.

Suddenly, she saw a figure rush out from the side and support Ying Zhi’an—it was a woman.

Ying Zhi’an glanced at the woman and struggled to refuse her help.

Song Xidan initially thought it was an acquaintance of Ying Zhi’an. Seeing Ying Zhi’an shake off the woman’s hand, she immediately got out of the car and ran over. “Sister Zhi’an!”

But as she ran closer, she heard the woman’s very wronged voice. “Zhi’an, you know, don’t you? You know I like you.”

Huh?!

The woman was, of course, Hu Fei.

Heaven knew how happy she was the moment she saw Ying Zhi’an.

Seeing Ying Zhi’an’s slightly unsteady steps, Hu Fei knew she had been drinking and immediately got out of the car, wanting to help her.

But her sudden appearance startled Ying Zhi’an, and upon recognizing the person, Ying Zhi’an frowned.

Frowning is a subconscious resistance; body language is the most honest.

So, just that frown was enough for Hu Fei to understand.

That’s why she said, “You know I like you.”

The alcohol in Ying Zhi’an’s system had long been dispersed by the night wind and the shock of Hu Fei’s sudden appearance.

But because of the alcohol, her eyes had not been properly controlled, candidly revealing her thoughts.

—She didn’t know how to face Hu Fei and even wished Hu Fei wouldn’t appear for the time being.

Yet, Prosecutor Hu Fei had an extremely sharp ability to read people; she understood instantly, and her secret affection had already driven her to desperation. Like a volcano that has been suppressed for too long, it inevitably erupts. The emotions that she nurtured in the dead of night, unknown to anyone, and quietly licked—they finally burst out.

She shouldn’t have said it.

She had specifically chosen secret admiration because she was afraid of losing.

Her reason had blocked the surging emotion countless times, but…

Her words made it impossible for Ying Zhi’an to hide any longer.

Ying Zhi’an sighed heavily. “Hu Fei, sometimes I wish I were a little dumber, and sometimes I wish you were a little dumber.”

The moment the words left Hu Fei’s mouth, she already regretted them. Hearing Ying Zhi’an’s response only increased her regret! So, she lowered her head, avoiding Ying Zhi’an’s gaze. “Zhi’an, can you pretend you didn’t hear that?” She was too smart, and she already understood Ying Zhi’an’s unspoken meaning.

Ying Zhi’an looked at the beautiful “100” score above Hu Fei’s head. She could pretend she hadn’t heard it, but she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t seen it.

Just as the dating cheat device had indicated, 100 was the system’s limit, not the limit of her love.

Ying Zhi’an was like a frog being boiled in warm water; this special ability had allowed her to completely bypass the struggle with her own sexual orientation and immediately leap to how to reject this love without hurting the other person.

Now, this moment had arrived so unexpectedly.

Ying Zhi’an let out a soft sigh. “Hu Fei, I’m very sorry that I never noticed your feelings for me, and I’m also very sorry that I probably won’t be able to love you. I know words are powerless, but I hope you meet the person you deserve. Someone who can love you as much as you love her, and that both of you will find fulfillment in that love.”

Hu Fei looked at Ying Zhi’an, managing a smile that was uglier than crying. “There’s absolutely no chance?”

Ying Zhi’an shook her head. “To be honest, I only found out recently…”

“So, my feeling wasn’t wrong,” Hu Fei’s gaze became firmer. “So, you can perceive my feelings for you. Then why can’t we try? There’s no loss for you. You just found out, so you can absolutely use me as an observation subject, an experiment subject, or a touchstone. It doesn’t matter…”

“Hu Fei!” Ying Zhi’an interrupted Hu Fei. In her eyes, an excellent woman like Hu Fei should never say such humble words, even if the object was herself. “Compared to those young girls, we are no longer young. We should both clearly understand that love is not for passing the time or playing games. True love is the soil that nourishes mutual growth. Furthermore, everyone is busy and has no time for these kinds of experiments.”

Hu Fei kept looking at Ying Zhi’an, her eyes faintly glistening with tears, as if the crystal beads would slide down at any moment. Having just finished working overtime, she was still wearing her prosecutor’s uniform. This Hu Fei lacked her professional authority, fragile like a translucent blue crystal. “I know. I’m just a little sad. But I also understand that wanting something and not getting it is the norm of life. A mutual journey is a rarity in this world.”

“I am very sorry…”