The Desperate Princess of a Fallen Kingdom Was Looking for a Hero... So I (the Hero) Decided To Look With Her - Chapter 3

A creaking sound echoed from the backrest of an old pipe chair. Me Sato Yuu, twenty-six years old, single. Occupation: systems engineer. That title weighed on my shoulders like lead on this late Friday night.

The air in the room was stagnant. The lukewarm exhaust heat from my desktop PC, which had been running all day, mixed with the sour stench of discarded socks and the blissful aroma steaming before me. The junk-food, violently delicious scent of extra-large pork bone soy sauce-flavored cup noodles. Together, they dominated the atmosphere of my four-and-a-half-tatami fortress. Towers of crumbling manga and technical manuals loomed against the walls, while convenience store bags formed a sea of white plastic on the floor. The only light source, a 27-inch monitor, displayed the season’s hottest late-night anime, the characters’ shrill voices blending with the hum of the PC fan and faint coil whine to vibrate against my eardrums.

It was hell. Truly, hell. For over a month, the only time I’d come home was to grab a change of clothes for a few hours. I’d curled up in a sleeping bag on the office floor, gnawing on energy drinks and caffeine pills while writing code nonstop. Every time I squashed one bug, another spawned. A storm of specification changes raged on. All we could do was nod with dead-fish eyes at the unreasonable demands. No, the divine decrees of our clients. But now, it was finally over. On this Friday night, the first place I headed after my liberation wasn’t the neon-lit downtown or a celebratory drinking party with coworkers it was the blindingly bright convenience store.

The small yet priceless trophy of victory I obtained there? This extra-large cup of noodles.

“…Fuuuuuuu—”

I lifted the noodles high with plastic chopsticks and slurped them down in one go. Zuzozozozo! The uncouth sound echoed through the room. The hot broth raced across my tongue, the curly noodles sliding down my throat. The deep umami of pork bone, the sharpness of soy sauce, and the sinful taste of chemical seasonings seemed to seep directly into my exhausted brain. Delicious. Too delicious. Even a three-star restaurant’s full course or a high-end kaiseki meal would pale in comparison to this single cup of noodles right now.

On the monitor, a magical girl shouted the name of her ultimate attack. Absentmindedly acknowledging it, I tipped the cup to my lips and sipped the remaining broth. I’d savor every last drop of this victory. The golden liquid, infused with pork bone and back fat, flowed down my throat. The warmth settled in my stomach, and all the tension drained from my body.

It was precisely at that moment—

“—Guh!?”

A tremendous shock, as if a giant eagle had seized my heart from the inside, assaulted me. Not the sound of swallowing broth—no, it was the sound of my own life creaking unnervingly. Hot. The center of my chest burned like a branding iron. I couldn’t breathe. No matter how much I gasped, no oxygen reached my lungs.

My vision rapidly lost color. The monitor’s vivid light blurred, and the anime’s audio grew distant, as if I were underwater. The still-warm cup slipped from my left hand. Clatter. The light sound of the container hitting the floor and the wet splatter of spilled broth reached my ears in slow motion.

(Ah… my victory broth…)

As I dwelled on such a trivial thought, black noise encroached from the edges of my vision. Like a TV abruptly unplugged, the world flicked into darkness. The last thing I felt was a faint indignation that this was far too pathetic a way to cap off my life.

◇

Consciousness surfaced.

It wasn’t a gentle, slow awakening, like rising from the depths of water to the surface. If anything, it was closer to the abrupt, inorganic sensation of force-restarting a frozen PC.

At first, I saw nothing. No, that wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t pitch black. Pure, endless “white” stretched in every direction. No floor, no walls, no ceiling. No horizon, not even a clear sense of depth. It felt like being plopped into the exact center of an infinitely vast sheet of Kent paper. Even when I looked down at my own body, the outlines of my limbs dissolved into the white space, indistinct.

Next, I heard nothing. No matter how hard I strained my ears, I couldn’t catch even the sound of my own heartbeat or breathing. The silence was absolute beyond even the word “silent.” Just to test, I gave my cheek a light tap. I felt the pain, but no sound. That realization sent a shiver down my spine.

There was no smell, either. The pork bone soy sauce aroma that had tickled my nostrils moments ago, the stale air of my room everything was gone. Inhaling brought no resistance, as if no molecules existed here at all.

Neither warm nor cold. No breeze brushed my skin. Only the sensation of simply “being” remained, unnervingly clear.

It was like a hard drive freshly initialized after stripping the world of color, sound, smell, and all physical laws. Empty data space. The thought floated hazily through my mind.

“…Seriously? My life ends with cup noodles?”

The muttered words, however, didn’t echo. My lips trembled, my vocal cords vibrated yet the resulting “sound” vanished into the white void as if it had never existed. It was too absurd. Too pitiful a way to go. If only my last meal had been the chashu ramen with extra veggies from my regular spot, Menya Goda then maybe I could’ve passed on peacefully. Wait, was I even dead?

“VR? Some new full-dive game beta test? But I don’t remember signing up for anything like this…”

I turned aimlessly, but no matter where I looked, the scenery didn’t change. White, white, white. If I stayed here any longer, I might lose my mind. Just as the urge to scream What the hell happened to me!? welled up—

Suddenly, the space before me began to glow faintly.

Like a drop of paint spreading across water, the light expanded slowly and quietly. What started as a tiny point gradually sharpened its outline, countless particles of light gathering to form a shape. Each particle swirled as if with a will of its own, eventually coalescing into a majestic humanoid figure.

The light condensed, and I instinctively squinted.

Standing before me was an old man. His pure white beard, richly grown, reached his chest. His attire was simple. Just a single white cloth wrapped around his body, like the toga of an ancient Greek philosopher. But his presence was overwhelming. Most striking was the divine radiance blazing behind him. So bright it hurt to look at directly, as if he carried hundreds of the highest-quality LED lights on his back.

Shattering that divine atmosphere, the old man spoke in a tone so casual it sounded like he was delivering a neighborhood newsletter.

“Hey there, Yuu Sato. I’m God.”

At that greeting, my face went blank. The tension and confusion in the air instantly dissipated.

“…Hah. So, who’s behind this prank? Some junior from my college club? Those guys love tasteless jokes like this. Where’s the hidden camera? Should I wave just in case?”

“Nah, nah, this ain’t a prank. The real deal, bona fide God. Capital-G God.”

The old man grinned amiably, flapping his hands. His overly lighthearted demeanor rapidly deflated my wariness.

“Proof?”

“Proof, you say… Well, I am God.”

“God (Tentative)” scratched his white-bearded cheek with a deeply troubled expression. The gesture was so human it stripped away any semblance of dignity or mystique. In my mind, my assessment of him plummeted to “sketchy cosplay grandpa.”

“Whatever. Let’s move on. So, what does God (LOL) want with a pitiful corporate drone like me?”

I crossed my arms and spoke sullenly. If this was just a dream, I might as well play along for fun.

“Right. To cut to the chase…”

God (LOL) paused, took a deep breath—and in the next instant,

“I’m sorry!”

With that cry, he performed a flawless dogeza right before my eyes. But not just any dogeza, a sliding dogeza, gliding forward like on tatami and slamming his forehead against the floor (or what passed for it). The motion was so smooth, so devoid of wasted movement, it bordered on artistry. His white toga fluttered beautifully. For a moment, I almost applauded the sheer perfection of it.

“Uh, what? Why?”

“Well, y’see, one of our rookie angels messed up while inputting lifespan records. Er, more specifically, he bungled the operation of our celestial ledger software, Angels’ Record Keeper.”

Still in dogeza, God (LOL) lifted only his head to explain. Angels’ Record Keeper? What kind of lazy naming was that?

“So this rookie, when updating your lifespan data, was supposed to input ‘Remaining Lifespan: 62 years,’ but he accidentally checked the ‘Age at Death: 26’ box and, well… clicked the ‘Execute Immediately’ button. You get the picture.”

“…”

“In other words, you actually had sixty-two more years to live should’ve made it to eighty-eight. But thanks to this mistake… forty years got lopped off, and we, uh, kinda reaped you just now. Tehe.”

“Tehe” my ass.

For a moment, my brain completely froze, refusing to process his words.

What? What did this geezer just say?

My cause of death wasn’t overwork, poor health, or hereditary heart disease.

It was—

An angel’s, and a rookie at that—

“Oopsie ♡”

That’s it?

Sixty-two years of my life gone. The future where I might’ve gotten married, had kids, seen my grandchildren, immersed myself in retirement hobbies all those infinite possibilities.

All of it—

Erased.

By a single misclick from a newbie?

Something hot and molten welled up from the pit of my stomach.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS!? MY LIFE ENDS WITH CUP NOODLES!? AND IT’S SOME ROOKIE’S FAULT!? HEY, OLD MAN! WHAT KIND OF LABOR MANAGEMENT IS THIS IN HEAVEN!? WHERE’S THE ON-THE-JOB TRAINING!? THE MENTOR SYSTEM!? ARE YOU MAKING NEWBIES WORK SOLO WITHOUT PROPER GUIDANCE!? ARE YOU EVEN TRAINING THEM RIGHT!?”

My scream, though soundless, must’ve reached him as a soul’s cry. God (LOL) frowned apologetically.

“Well, y’see, these young angels nowadays are kinda fragile… If you scold ’em too hard, they go, ‘God’s power harassment too much pien’ and lock themselves in their private clouds. It’s tough on our end too. Even I wanna pray for help sometimes, and I am God.”

This guy’s hopeless. He’s just some middle-management drone complaining about his subordinates. He’s literally a worn-out boss apologizing to a client for his team’s mistake.

I looked up at the sky—well, since there was no ceiling, I just tilted my head upward.

The sheer absurdity of my life’s end left me beyond anger, drawing only dry laughter.

“Haah… So, what now? ‘Bring out the person in charge’—oh wait, you’re the person in charge. Can’t I just go back to life?”

“Nah. Once a soul’s been reaped and brought to this side, fully returning it to the exact same timeline violates the World Regulations. It’d bug out causality and send the worldline into chaos.”

God stood up smoothly, his tone apologetic. His face did show genuine sympathy.

“But of course, we won’t let you die for nothing. This is entirely our fault—100% Heaven’s mistake. So as an apology—well, more like compensation we’ll reincarnate your soul into another world. A sword-and-magic fantasy world, y’know?”

The moment I heard those words—

Something in my brain clicked into place.

Another world. Reincarnation.

That forbidden, honey-sweet resonance engraved deep in the DNA of every Japanese man.

The murderous rage toward the rookie angel, the despair at my unfair death, the fury at my stolen future. All of it vanished like a lie. In its place, adrenaline and dopamine surged from the depths of my heart like a ruptured dam.

“FOR REAL!? THE CLASSIC ‘ISEKAI REINCARNATION’ DEAL!? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO GET HIT BY A TRUCK OR DIE FROM OVERWORK!?”

“Yep. Well, this time it’s entirely our fault, so it’s more like we skipped the hassle of arranging a truck accident. Works out for us too.”

God didn’t miss the instant change in my eyes.

This is it! The template! The light novel setup!

My very own isekai life was about to begin! Farewell, corporate slave existence! I’ve been chosen!

“Now then, as a token of apology, I’ll grant you one skill of your choice. Anything you want. Consider it modest compensation for the forty—no, sixty-two years you lost.”

Those words were sweeter than any demon’s whisper, a blessed rain upon the parched wasteland of my desires.

I spun up every ounce of knowledge and experience from my twenty-six years in Japan—90% of which came from manga binges late into the night, games marathoned on weekends, anime watched religiously every season, and light novels scavenged from the depths of the internet.

Reincarnation. Cheat skill.

This isn’t just any game. This is the most crucial initial setup for beginning Chapter Two of my life—no, for starting my true life (Real Life). I can’t afford to make a mistake here. Choosing a lousy skill and getting killed by slimes in the starting village is an ending I absolutely must avoid. My brain’s CPU whirs at a high-pitched KIIIN as it overclocks itself.

(First, offensive skills? No, wait. Even with high attack power, getting ambushed would make it pointless. Then defensive? An impenetrable defense sounds good, but that alone would lead to a slow decline. Support skills? Useful, but too boring. Production skills? I do crave that slow life, but first, I need the power to protect myself…)

Countless possibilities flicker through my mind. Images of every overpowered character from every story flash like a revolving lantern. After several seconds of rapid-fire deliberation, I arrive at one singular conclusion.

“Yes! God! May I present my proposal?!”

Like a young entrepreneur pitching a new business plan at a shareholders’ meeting, I sharply raise my right hand. God tilts His head in confusion. “Pwesen…?” Seizing the opening, I step forward.

“First! As the fundamental requirement an indestructible body that absolutely cannot die, no matter what! This is non-negotiable! Total immunity to physical attacks, lethal magic, poison, curses, disease, even mental assaults. Everything gets shut down! Without this, I can’t enjoy a peaceful slow life! Who knows what parasites or bacteria lurk in the other world’s food? Food safety is the foundation of quality of life!”

“Hohoho, I see, I see.”

God strokes His beard, intrigued. This is working. The momentum is on my side.

“Next! Invincible offensive power that guarantees I’ll never lose to any enemy! This is also a must! Whether it’s some cocky goblin picking a fight, a dragon so massive it blots out the sky, or even a Demon King terrorizing the world. I want the power to flick them into orbit with a single snap! A single punch should send shockwaves leveling mountains, and a single breath should summon hurricanes. Violence is the ultimate form of communication!”

“My, my, how extreme.”

God’s brow furrows slightly, but I don’t care. My presentation isn’t over yet.

“And of course! I must have mastery over all magic attributes! The basic four—fire, water, wind, earth goes without saying, but also light, dark, lightning, ice, spacetime magic, gravity magic, even conceptual magic that manipulates souls! Instant casting, no incantations—obviously! I should be able to rain down meteors like a summer shower with just a snap of my fingers! I refuse to suffer the humiliation of some magical girl telling me, ‘You have zero talent for magic, huh?’”

“……”

“Oh, and a ‘Harem Skill’ that makes girls fall head over heels for me! Don’t forget this one! A passive skill, always active! Just by walking around, elf beauties emerge from forests, beastkin tomboys pop up in grasslands, dwarf barmaids descend from mountains, and human princess knights in cities. All utterly smitten by my charm, joining my party without me lifting a finger! Love transcending racial boundaries! Isn’t that wonderful?!”

I spread my arms wide, pouring my entire soul into the pitch.

But God cuts me off with a look of utter exhaustion.

“…Ahem, Yuu-kun.”

“Yes! What is it, God?! There’s still more to my grand plan—!”

“I did say one skill, did I not?”

“Eh?!”

Crap. My desires had overflowed like a broken dam. My system engineer instincts—“Cram all the specs in upfront; adding them later is hell” had backfired spectacularly.

But I’m not one to back down. This brain of mine has weathered countless unreasonable demands. I raise a finger skyward with absolute confidence, flashing my most smug grin.

“Then just bundle them all into one!”

“…Bundle them?”

God looks baffled. Perfect—He took the bait.

“Basically, ‘Absolute invincibility—no death, no defeat, just ultimate power’! That’s what I want! That still counts as one skill, right? Multiple functionalities, but under a single package: ‘The Strongest’! No issues there, yeah?”

I deliver this with a beaming smile. My killer technique for sweet-talking unreasonable clients with wordplay.

God stares blankly for a long, long moment. An awkward silence fills the void. Finally, He exhales a sigh so deep it feels like the fabric of reality trembles.

“…Haaaaah… Well, technically you’re not wrong? Even if it’s the epitome of sophistry. So, with such ridiculous power, what exactly do you plan to do? Save the world? Or conquer it?”

At this question, my eyes sparkle as I unleash the cry of my soul. My declaration of independence from my dull, salaryman past.

“Isn’t it obvious?!”

Spreading my arms like a musical’s lead actor, I proclaim to the heavens:

“In a world of swords and magic! I’ll have an elf beauty with long ears listen to my complaints while giving me lap pillows! A lively beastkin girl to run wild with across endless plains! A stubborn yet warm-hearted dwarf girl to share homemade ale with in underground taverns! A harem of adorable girls from every race in a massive lakeside castle! Stuffing myself with delicacies I’ve never tasted before! Lounging in hammocks all day! And at night—UHA UHA! That’s the kind of gloriously lazy, maximally fun life I want!”

My vision is flawless.

No noble mission to save the world. No regrets over my past corporate drone life. No anxiety about the unknown.

Just pure, raw, unfiltered desire—how can I make this moment the most fun and pleasurable possible?

In a way, it might be the ultimate philosophy of carpe diem—though I’d never waste a single brain cell on such pretentious thoughts.

God stares at me, utterly dumbfounded. His white beard doesn’t even twitch.

After a long silence, His shoulders begin to tremble.

Then—

“…Kukuku…”

A small chuckle slips out at first.

“…KWAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! Hiii—my stomach! My sides! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Suddenly, God doubles over in uproarious laughter. The sound shakes the void itself, brimming with genuine mirth. Tears stream down His face as He clutches His stomach, all dignity long forgotten.

“My, my, apologies! I’ve been a god for ages, but never have I seen such a refreshing scoundrel no, such a gloriously selfish human! Magnificent! Truly magnificent!”

Wiping His tears, God rises with a mischievous grin. His eyes now gleam with pure curiosity and anticipation.

“Most humans ask for ‘power to bring peace’ or ‘strength to save people’ empty platitudes. They pretend to be virtuous in My presence. Or they cling to regrets from their past or fears for their future. But you, you have none of that.”

God nods approvingly.

“No mourning the past, no anxiety for the future. Just absolute devotion to pleasure here and now. Are you enlightened, or just irredeemably stupid? …Well, either way!”

His eyes glint like a child plotting mischief.

“Marvelous! Truly marvelous, Yuu Sato! What chaos will unfold when a bug like you is tossed into that orderly, predictable, dull world? How will the laws of reality crumble? Even I can’t foresee it!”

Spreading His arms like an opera singer, God booms:

“Very well! Yuu Sato! Your shameless yet utterly pure wish, I shall grant it! That ‘Absolute invincibility; no death, no defeat, just ultimate power’ shall be yours!”

He points at me sharply.

Instantly, my body is engulfed in a torrent of blinding light not mere radiance, but a cataclysmic flood akin to witnessing the Big Bang itself. My vision whites out, consciousness fading fast. My form dissolves like data being rewritten.

“Ah, God! One last question!”

With my final shred of awareness, I shout the most crucial thing:

“Does the isekai have Wi-Fi?!”

God blinks at the absurdity then bursts into laughter again.

“NO!”

His perfect deadpan is the last thing I hear before dissolving entirely.

Even then, only one thought fills my mind—bright, hopeful, and triumphant:

(HELL YEAHHHHH! No internet, maybe! BUT WHO CARES?! A HAREM! An elf to heal me! A beastkin to run with! A dwarf to drink with! THE HAREM AWAITS MEEEEEE!)

And so began the story of Yuu Sato later known as “The Walking Cataclysm,” “The Law-of-Causality Crusher,” “The Gods’ Colossal Blunder (Seriously, Huge),” and “Self-Proclaimed Harem King” a man whose irresponsible, chaotic, and maximally fun isekai life had just begun.

◇

Unbeknownst to him, in another place, a princess waited in despair for a hero who would never come.